Silent Forgiveness (Sign of Love Series Book 4)

by Tonya Clark

  Jacob reaches across, catching me off guard, and grabs his keys out of my hand. Before I can stop him, he is out the door.

  Shock is the best word I can think of to describe how I feel right now. That’s what this has been all about. He thinks I am going to leave him here and go back to Texas. I know he’s seventeen and all. I know the school has boarding, but never did it even cross my mind to leave him here alone. I knew from the moment I got the call from David Colter that my parents were killed in the bombing that I’d be moving back here to Washington. To be honest, I don’t know if even my brother had been well into his twenties when all this had happened, I would have gone back. I have already gotten a hold of a realtor in Texas to start putting things together to put my house up for sale.

  Before I can even stop myself, I grab my phone and find Jayden’s name and send her a text.

  Cameron: I need you at my house.

  I hit send. I need someone to talk to and Jayden is the only one I can think of to talk to about all of this.

  Chapter 14

  Jayden

  When I received the text, I had to look twice at who it was from.

  Cameron: I need you at my house

  Did Cameron text it to the wrong person? I read the text over and over, like somehow it will change. Why does he need me at his house? It is probably a mistake, he probably meant this for another girl. I could text back and let him know, wrong person buddy, but if he texts back sorry, well then…

  Wait, what if something is wrong? That must be it, something is wrong. I quickly grab my keys and wallet, running out to my car.

  I think I run two red lights, but I make it to the Tovaren house probably in record time. Running up to the front door, I ring the doorbell. My imagination is going crazy. I almost just walk straight in. I swear if someone doesn’t answer it soon, I am going to just walk in.

  I go to grab for the knob when the door finally opens, and there stands Cameron.

  “What…”

  Cameron grabs me, pulling me up tight against his chest, his lips taking mine. My body instantly melts. Just this man’s lips can cause me to turn to mush.

  Finally, my brain turns back on. What the hell is going on? Ending the kiss and taking a step back is one of the hardest things I’ve done. My body wants to go back, but my brain needs answers.

  “Cameron, what’s going on?”

  He reaches out for me, but I take another step back.

  “Again, let me ask, what’s going on? Is Jacob alright? Are you alright?”

  “Physically, everyone is fine,” he finally speaks.

  Unbelievable, what is he playing at?

  “Seriously, that’s your answer?”

  Passionate heat is turning to angry heat. Who the hell does he think he is? After the way he yelled at me, he thinks now he can just text and I’ll come running? To top it off, he thinks he can just pull me against him and kiss me? Wait! That is exactly what just happened. I came running with a text. Fool me once, my bad, but not anymore.

  Shaking my head, I turn to leave. “Jayden, wait, please.”

  Something in his voice doesn’t sound right. His plea stops me, something is wrong.

  “Listen, can we just go inside and talk, please?”

  Do I really want to go back to this? Sure, earlier I was sitting at home missing him. Now I am still a little pissed that he thought I would just come over and act like nothing happened.

  “Jayden, look, I’m sorry. I had no right to take my anger out on you the other day. I have no good excuse. All I can say is sorry.”

  His eyes are pleading with me. Why can’t I stay mad at this guy? I’m not going to make it easy on him though. I will listen, I can’t walk away from those eyes. Not saying anything, I walk past him and into the house. I sit down in the chair, this will be safer than sitting next to him on the couch.

  “Thank you,” Cameron says, sitting down on the couch.

  “What did you need to talk to me about?”

  “Today, Jacob and I had a little talk. Well, actually I think I did most of the talking. Anyway, I believe I figured out why Jacob isn’t talking to me. I’m still a little confused about all of it, but it’s nice to have some reason.”

  I am trying to be patient and listen to where he is going with what he is talking about, but I am running pretty short on patience right now.

  “Cameron, what’s happening?”

  “Jacob is mad at me because I live in Texas.”

  Live in Texas? Why would Jacob be mad at him for that right now?

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Neither did I at first. Today, I finally asked him what I did that has made him so angry with me, besides sleeping with you.”

  I know I blush a little, my face instantly becomes warm. “So, you think he is mad because you moved?”

  Cameron nods. “When I moved away, he said he was going with me, but of course we all knew that wasn’t happening. Anyway, I believe he thinks I’m leaving again and without him.”

  “You haven’t talked to him about any of this before now? Honestly, why wouldn’t he think you would be going back? If I thought about it, I would have thought the same thing.”

  Another reason why getting involved with Cameron probably isn’t a good idea. How long can he stay? His home and business are down in Texas.

  “No, honestly I haven’t really thought about the need to talk to him about it. He hasn’t said much to me since being home. I told you that night we went out for drinks he wasn’t talking to me. Then he only became more distant after finding out about you and me. Plus, he is a kid, why would I talk to him about my personal life?”

  Personal life? Men! I would have thought Cameron and Jacob would have talked about what’s happening next. Jacob is probably too worried to ask. Of course, he would be worried about what was going to happen to him next. If Cameron was going to push him off to another family member or what.

  “Cameron, he probably thinks you are going to leave him again. Then again, why wouldn’t he think that if you haven’t talked to him about any of the plans? What are you planning on doing?”

  “Even if I was going back to Texas, I would have taken him with me. I wouldn’t leave him here alone. I decided to move back here anyway. He only has one more year of high school left, I wouldn’t take him away from his friends or his senior year.”

  “Have you told him that now that you have figured out what’s wrong with him?”

  “No, he never let me explain anything. He took off to Tyler’s again. He told me that since I haven’t brought my stuff here, my truck and house things, he figured I’d be going back. He is also mad that I wasn’t here when everything happened.”

  Everything happened? Cameron can’t even say what happened. His parents died, by the hand of a very selfish human being, and he can’t say it. That can’t be good for any of their anger, they both need to talk about it.

  “Cameron, you couldn’t have stopped the bomb from going off, or your parent’s going out to dinner.”

  “I know that, and Jacob isn’t thinking I could. He was with Tyler’s family when he found out. I’m thankful for that, but I wasn’t here until the next day. I took the first flight I could get, but it took some time for me to get here.”

  “So, what you are saying is that you believe Jacob’s been mad at you for leaving in the first place, this just created enough to bring that anger out. Were you two always real close?”

  Cameron laughs a little. “No, actually when he was born I was pissed at my parents for having another kid. I was eleven and didn’t like that I wasn’t getting all the attention any longer. When he was about five, we were at a restaurant and some kids were making fun of him because he was making sounds instead of talking. I got pissed at the kids, but when the father started laughing I got up, walked past him and kicked his chair out from under him. From that moment on, I swore no one would pick on him again and we were always together from t
hat point on. My friends learned that if I was going to be around, so was my brother. He never left my side unless we were in school.”

  “How mad was he when you moved away? That must have been hard on him.”

  “He was upset, but we have texted each other every day I’ve been gone. I always told him he had to finish school and then afterwards he could come down to Texas. He had texted me a couple times the day everything happened. I was dealing with problems with work and had forgotten to read the text and answer him. Finally, Tyler’s dad got a hold of me later that night and told me what had happened.”

  I want to talk to him about what happened with his parents and their death. On the other side of it, I don’t want to be yelled at again for telling him what to do. So, I decide to let it go for now.

  “So, you didn’t tell him you weren’t going back to Texas?”

  “He didn’t give me a chance. I was a little shocked and before I could explain what my plans were, he ran out. I have to go to Texas for a final inspection in a couple weeks and planned on bringing all my stuff back then.”

  I don’t know what I should or shouldn’t say. Every time we discuss Jacob, my opinion, or a suggestion, Cameron ends up telling me to mind my own business and yells at me. Now he is staring at me like he is expecting me to tell him what to do.

  “Cameron, every time I say something, we end up in a fight. Please don’t look at me like you are waiting for me to give you a suggestion on how to handle this.”

  “Jayden, I said I was sorry.”

  Does he really think that is all it is going to take?

  “Cameron, you haven’t only yelled at me once, but twice. Once in public. You apologized after that time as well, but that didn’t stop this last round we had.”

  He looks down at his hands. Nothing is said for a good amount of time. I am about to say that I am just going to leave when he finally speaks.

  “I needed someone to talk to. You are the only adult I have spoken to since being home. Even Tyler’s dad called and tried giving me some parenting advice. I already know I’m not doing a great job with Jacob, everyone telling me what I should be doing is only confirming that. I’m not sure what to do with Jacob. This isn’t the kid I know. I’m used to the happy kid he has always been.”

  Hearing the pain in Cameron’s voice makes me want to go over and hold him. I know he basically just told me he wants my advice, but I still feel like I am going to have to watch what I say. He came to me when he needed someone to talk to. My chest expanded some when he said that. I don’t trust myself to be sitting next to him, but I need to touch him.

  Reaching over, I place my hand over his. “Cameron, I wasn’t trying tell you that you weren’t doing things right with Jacob the other day and I’m sure Mr. Colter wasn’t meaning for you to feel that way either. Your world has been flipped upside down. Losing both of your parents, having to care for your brother, run your family’s company and somewhere in there, you need time to grieve. I’m pretty sure you haven’t done any grieving. I know I was only trying to help and I’m pretty sure Mr. Colter meant no different. Jacob is a great kid. You are right, he was always happy. Smiling all of the time. He was always in a large group of people. You have to remember his world was turned upside down as well. Like you getting mad at me because you had no one else to get mad at, he is mad as well, and you are the one who he is going to aim his anger at.”

  Holding my breath, I wait for him to say something, hoping I haven’t stepped over a line. His hand just holds mine tightly. His voice is low when he finally speaks. So low I almost don’t hear him.

  “I miss them so much,” he whispers, and it tears my chest wide open hearing the pain in his voice.

  I can’t stay away from him any longer. Kneeling down in front of him, I place my hand on his cheek, trying to get him to look at me. I feel the wetness, knowing he is crying shatters me. This strong, hard-faced man is crying. I feel the tears well up in my eyes. He doesn’t move, he just keeps his head hanging down.

  “Cameron, look at me.”

  Nothing, he almost seems distant. Since my hand is still on his cheek, I push his face up. His eyes look anywhere but at me. Almost like he is embarrassed to show me his pain.

  “You should never be ashamed of showing your pain, Cameron. You’re not a robot. No one expects you to be strong all the time. Asking for help isn’t a bad thing. Showing that your parents’ death is affecting you isn’t something to be ashamed of.”

  His eyes finally look at me. The tears are gone, but I can still see the hurt in them. A man who just lost both of his parents that he loved very much. If I wasn’t hooked completely on this man before, I am now.

  Slowly, he brings his head down to rest his forehead against mine. He is wanting to kiss me. He wants to know if I have forgiven him yet. I circle my hand around to the back of his head, digging my fingers into his hair and bringing his lips down to mine.

  Our lips touch and for the first time, it isn’t raw. His lips are smooth and tender. He isn’t crushing our lips together, eagerly seeking out my tongue with his. Instead, he moves them lightly against mine. There is a tender side to this man and my heart flips in my chest for him. I have officially fallen for a guy!

  “Jayden, I have never known a woman like you before.”

  His voice is husky. I’m not even wondering if what he said is a good or bad thing. Everything right now is good. The feelings racing through my body, the way my heart trips every time his lips tenderly touch mine, everything is good.

  “You are one of a kind as well.”

  “I want to take you upstairs now.”

  “Are you asking me if I forgive you?” I smile against his lips.

  “I’m really hoping you forgive me. I hear make-up sex is the best kind of sex.”

  I think I like playful Cameron. “Is that all you want me around for, my body?”

  His smile fades. “Is that what you think?”

  I don’t want the playful Cameron to leave. I bring my hands down to the top of his jeans, unbuttoning the fly of his pants. I run my hands up and under his shirt, running them up his stomach to his chest.

  “I’m using you for your body!” I smile up at him, looking through my lashes.

  His smile returns. Or maybe it is more like a cocky grin. Before I can guess what he is going to do, he is up on his feet with me slung over his shoulder and heading up the stairs.

  “This is so caveman,” I say, as my hands smack his backside.

  “I could drag you up the stairs by your hair, woman.”

  “Hair pulling sounds fun, just in bed though, not being dragged by it up the stairs.”

  We reach his room. Cameron sits me down and starts working out of his clothes. I quickly discard my own. We are standing in front of each other naked in no time. He takes a step closer to me, our bodies barely touching. His arm goes around behind me. I feel him grab my hair and twist it around his hand. He pulls down, forcing my head back, his lips instantly going to my neck.

  “I like your hair, Jayden,” he whispers.

  Electricity shoots through my body. He pulls a little harder and I moan. I feel him smile against my neck.

  “You like it a little rough, do you?”

  He starts walking me backwards toward the bed. The back of my legs hit the softness of the mattress. Without releasing my hair, he turns me around, now my back is against his chest. His other hand starts at my thigh and slowly runs up my leg, over my hip, to my back. Once his hand makes it to my shoulder, he gently pushes me forward, my chest now against the bed. I can feel his hardness against my backside. Cameron’s hand comes back down my back, once he comes to my hips his hands come around to my front and two fingers slide deep inside of me.

  “You’re so wet, Jayden. So ready for me.”

  “Cameron, please,” I beg, and push my backside against his hardness.

  He removes his fingers and I moan again. At once he pulls my hair again and en
ters me with one quick thrust. I bite my lip to keep from yelling. I feel him slide out almost all the way and then once again thrust into me, again pulling my hair. The sensation is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. The pleasure of him filling me so completely and deep, with the sting of my scalp from where he pulls my hair. It takes no time at all to lose myself. My insides tighten around Cameron’s hardness, my body begging him to release with me.

  Chapter 15

  Cameron

  This woman is capturing my heart. I never thought that would happen. I was always too busy with work to open enough time in my life for a relationship. Or maybe I just never found someone who made me want to create extra time for them. Now here when timing is crazy with both sides of the business to run, dealing with Jacob and still finishing up with business from my parents’ deaths, Jayden appears in my life.

  Jayden is still asleep, her head resting on my chest, her leg slung over mine. She had said she didn’t do the relationship thing as well. Now I wonder what she meant by that.

  Hearing the door shut downstairs, I figure Jacob just got home. Looking over at the clock, I’m shocked that it is only seven, he’s home early tonight. I hate to wake Jayden, she is sleeping pretty sound, but Jacob and I need to talk. I need to clear things up with him, we can’t keep going the way it has been. I try as soft as possible to move out from under Jayden, even though my body right now only wants to stay where I am. She can stay up here and sleep while I go and talk to Jacob, we aren’t going to hide whatever this is between us.

  Once I move away, Jayden stirs and quickly settles back to sleep. Throwing my jeans back on, I grab my shirt and leave her sleeping there in my bed.

  I find Jacob in the kitchen, looking through the fridge. I lean against one of the counters and wait for him to turn around. A few moments pass and finally I have his attention. I wait for him to roll his eyes and try to jet past me but instead, he surprises the hell out of me and matches my stance against an opposite counter.