by Tonya Clark
“I don’t even know what exactly I want to know really,” I admit. What do I want to know? What am I expecting her to tell me that will help?
“Cameron, I was waiting for my dinner that I had ordered to go when I saw your parents. They passed me when they were following the hostess to be seated. I only got to say hello,” Charliee starts explaining to me.
The fire is dancing in front of me. That was my main question. The fire, the explosion, how much did my parents suffer, what did they feel? The tears I can’t hold back, just thinking of them suffering and hurting, I can’t handle it.
“Did they go fast, or did they suffer?” I finally find my voice to ask.
I watch as emotions run across Charliee’s face. The tears spring from her eyes instantly, running down her cheeks.
“I have no memory of that night past the part where I said hello to your parents. I was walking out the front door when the explosion happened. I remember a lot of heat behind me and that’s all. I’m sorry. I pray every day for those who lost their lives that night that they all went quick and no one suffered.” Charliee looks over at Travis, pleading with her eyes for him to add something that may help.
Travis leans forward in his chair, Charliee’s hand tightly in his own. “Cameron, I was one of the firefighters who first responded that night. I don’t believe your parents suffered. The blast was centered right there in the dining area, we found no survivors in that area of the restaurant.”
It is strange to feel relief rush through me. Thinking of them lying there, hurt, burning and needing help and not getting it in time bothered me more than anything.
“I’m sorry for ruining the evening, we were having a great time,” I apologize.
No one is laughing or smiling any longer like we were moments ago. Both women have tears streaming down their cheeks and Travis looks like he would like to know how to help everyone but can’t. He looks over at Charliee, helpless and troubled. I’m sure that night wasn’t easy on him either.
Charliee finally breaks the silence around the fire. “I know I can’t sit here and say I know what you are going through, Cameron. Yes, I may have been part of that night, Travis may have been there and seen all the destruction, but you lost loved ones, and not just one but two of the most important people of your life. Please don’t ever apologize for talking about it or wanting to ask questions. I’ve learned that talking has helped me heal. It’s hard sometimes. You wonder if you want to know the answers to certain questions, but keeping it all bundled up will only hurt you and those around you, trust me on this.”
Charliee pauses for a moment, looking over at Travis. She doesn’t break eye contact with him as she continues, “I know what it’s like to have to put the smile on your face and be strong around the people you love to assure them everything is alright. You are the one who went through it all, yet you need to make sure the people around you are healing.” She looks over at me once again, “Find that one person, be it Jayden, an old friend, whoever, and talk to them. Believe me when I tell you it will help you heal and it will help those around you heal.”
Charliee is amazing. Her strength isn’t something many people
have. Travis has his hands full with her, I’m sure she keeps him on his toes. It makes me smile a little to imagine an argument between the two of them, I’m sure he doesn’t win often. Charliee, this sweet, little petite thing telling you how it is and is going to be has to be entertaining.
“You are one tough woman, Charliee. Jayden has told me about how they found you and about your injuries from that night. I wish I had half the strength you possess. Thank you for answering my questions, I know this isn’t easy on you either.”
Travis just sits there staring at his woman. He is a very lucky man and he knows it, you can see it written all over his face, he worships Charliee. Jayden brings my attention back to her when she stands up next to me, holding her hand out to me.
“I’m ready to go if you are.”
Travis isn’t the only lucky one here. I have this fireball next to me and I need to start making sure she knows how lucky I am to have her in my life. This woman has handled a lot of crap from me and I have said things to her that should have had her walking the other way, flipping me off as she walked away and forgetting my name with every step, but no, she always comes back, telling me how it is and to man up.
Getting up, I follow Jayden over and wait as she hugs Travis and then Charliee. “Thank you for the evening. Cameron and I were talking about going to the fair that they have going on down the beach, do you guys want to join us?”
Charliee looks up at Travis. “I have Monday off,” he answers her questioning look.
“Monday it is then. I’ll text you later, Charliee, and we will figure out all the details.” Jayden turns to me.
I walk over and give Charliee a hug. “Thank you. Just for the record, I’m happy to have finally met you. I’m sorry it took me so long.”
“Don’t apologize, I understand. I’m sorry I couldn’t be more help with answering the questions you had.”
“Trust me, Charliee, you helped me out a lot tonight.”
Jayden leads the way as we walk away. I don’t realize how tightly I have been holding her hand until we get to the car and she turns before getting in and looks up at me. I see her rub her hand a little when I let go.
“Are you all right?”
Am I? I think to myself. Actually, I think this is the first time my chest doesn’t feel heavy. Kissing her lightly, I smile. “I’m good actually. I’m sorry it took me so long to do this, meeting Charliee I mean. Her strength and her advice was good to hear. I’ve sat around since all of this happened and listened to you tell me all about her. I’ve wondered why she survived and my parents didn’t, and I know that makes me a huge jackass. Then I would be mad at myself for wondering why a person didn’t die. It was a lot of mixed emotions to deal with. After meeting Charliee, I feel like a bigger ass than before. It was my parents’ time to go, and not hers. It’s the whole ‘Everything happens for a reason’ thing I’m starting to believe. I don’t do the mushy words thing well, Jayden, but out of all this bad, something very good came out of it. You.”
A single tear springs from her eye and rolls down her cheek as she brings my lips down to hers. This kiss is different, it is saying what neither one of us are ready to say out loud. I am falling in love with her.
Chapter 18
Jayden
It is a perfect evening for the fair, the weather is great, which also means it is very busy. Everyone is taking advantage of a perfect evening on the beach and a good fair. It isn’t a surprise we run into someone we know, but what is a surprise is it is Bryce with a woman who he introduced to us as Darryn and her little girl. No one knew about these new girls in Bryce’s life I would guess from the look of surprise on Charliee’s face. I can see the questions twirling in Charliee’s head over all of it. She and her brothers are very close so not knowing who this is bothers her. All introductions and questions that Charliee may have are cut short when Levi, Charliee’s hearing dog, lunges out at a crowd of people, knocking Charliee onto her butt.
Levi is a great service dog and he never acts out of sorts. He never leaves Charliee’s side, but right now he is doing everything he can to get away from her and after something, which puts us all on alert. This is the second time tonight, earlier he started growling at a crowd around us. He is barking now, however, and that is not normal, something is wrong. He isn’t backing down, no matter what Charliee does and for him not to listen to her, my nerves start up.
“What’s wrong with him?” Bryce asks, as he goes to Levi and tries to calm him down, but nothing is working.
All of his barking is drawing the attention of everyone around us. He isn’t a small dog and you can tell some are getting nervous to be around him. Travis grabs Levi’s leash from Charliee and then helps her up off the ground.
“He did this earlier, but I brushed
it off thinking something spooked him,” Travis says, making sure Charliee is alright but keeping a tight hold of Levi.
“Oh my God.” Charliee’s voice brings all of our attention to her. All of the color has drained from her face, she looks terrified.
I look in the direction she is looking in but I don’t see anything unusual. She doesn’t answer, but now her whole body is shaking.
Travis shoves Levi’s leash into Bryce’s hand and stands directly in front of Charliee, concern etched in his eyes. “Charliee, talk to us.”
Charliee finally points across the way at one of the children’s rides. “That’s the guy from the restaurant, the one who ran into me outside. He is standing there in the blue jeans and plaid shirt. He’s wearing a backpack.”
Charliee’s brothers had her come down to the station a few weeks ago after some video they had found led them to believe the guy that ran into Charliee just before she entered the restaurant that night of the bombing was responsible for leaving the bomb. Charliee was the only survivor who had seen him.
Levi’s barking catches the attention of the guy Charliee has pointed out to us. Once he looks over and sees all of us staring at him, he takes off running. That completely yells, “Guilty!”
Bryce shoves Levi’s leash into my hands. “Call 911, let them know what’s going on. You guys get out of here now!” he yells, as he starts running after the guy.
“Cameron, take the ladies and head back to the cars. I’m going after him with Bryce.” Travis starts to go after Bryce until Charliee grabs his arm.
“Please, Travis, don’t. What if there is another bomb in that bag?”
“Charliee, I’m not going to let your brother go alone.”
“I’m going as well,” Cameron speaks up.
My eyes fly to him now. I’m sure he knows I am asking him if he is crazy without a word being said.
“That bastard is responsible for my parents’ death,” he answers my unasked question.
I can only imagine what he must be feeling, but if something happened to Cameron, Jacob would have nothing left. I wouldn’t have him! The 911 operator keeps asking me what my emergency is. Cameron is telling me I can’t stop him with his eyes.
“You three ladies get that little one out of here,” Travis yells, as he and Cameron take off in the direction Bryce has gone.
Finding my voice finally, I explain what is going on as we all quickly walk back to the parking lot to wait. Darryn didn’t stay, she had her little girl with her and wanted to get her out of here just in case something happened. She told us to tell Bryce to call her later to make sure he was all right. If this situation wasn’t so serious, I believe Charliee and I would have both shot off a million questions after seeing the look in Darryn’s eyes. She cared for Bryce. How had Bryce kept this from all of us and why?
Charliee and I sit in silence as we watch everyone being evacuated from the fair. The police tried to tell us we had to leave. We weren’t going anywhere, and after we explained to one of them who we were, they left us alone. However, I do notice we always have one officer very close by. If that is planned or not, it helps calm my nerves a little. I’m pretty sure Charliee never notices they are there. I sit here waiting to hear anything that will tell me if things went very wrong. Charliee can’t do that. Every time I look over at her, I can see her eyes focusing on certain officers. As they are talking into the radios or to each other, she’s reading lips—a very useful talent at times like now.
I’m not sure how long we have been sitting here but I am getting restless. I want to get up and go look for Cameron. Honestly, I am surprised Charliee is still sitting here. Levi quickly stands up from where he is laying down which gets both of our attention. When we look in the direction he is looking, we see Cameron and Travis walking back to us.
Both of us jump up and run to them, launching ourselves into their arms. Charliee speaks first.
“Where’s Bryce?” You can hear the panic in her voice.
“He had to stay back, he’s fine though,” Travis answers her.
“Did you guys catch him?” I ask, but I know the answer the second I look up at Cameron and see the anger in his eyes. I can feel the tension in Cameron’s body.
“Where’s Darryn? Bryce wanted to make sure she and the little one got home safe,” I hear Travis ask.
My eyes don’t leave Cameron, he is irritated and tense. He looks everywhere but at me.
“She didn’t want to chance anything happening with Kendall here so she took her home,” Charliee explains to Travis.
“There is nothing else we can do here, we should all head home.” Cameron’s angry voice breaks through to all of us.
I quickly give Charliee a hug and when I turn back to Cameron, he has already walked away and is getting into the driver’s side of my car. I look back at Charliee to apologize for him not saying goodbye, but neither of them seem to care that he didn’t so I quickly follow after him. The whole ride back to Cameron’s house is quiet. He is shutting down again. When we pull up to the house, he just gets out of the car and leaves me sitting here.
This is crazy. I want to follow him and make sure he is all right but then I think about it for a minute my anger starts to boil. I understand he’s upset, disappointed and I’m sure pretty pissed off, but that doesn’t give him the right to act like I’m not here. We are supposed to be a team. Lean on each other when we need an extra shoulder, not shove each other to the side. I am always making sure he is all right. Taking his outbursts and accepting the apologies. Or ignoring it altogether and moving on like nothing happened. I’ve been sitting here a little while now. He has gone into the house and shut the door behind him. I’m not saying he doesn’t need me, but he needs to realize I’m not always going to just be here to be the wall. If I want him to quit pushing me away, I need to walk away and make him come to me. My mind made up, and before I get soft and change my mind, I quickly get out of the passenger side and round to the driver’s side of my car.
****
I’ve been home for probably an hour or so. Enough time to take a shower and dry my hair. I have to keep myself busy. I wash the couple of dishes I have in the sink. I’ve even put in a movie and am getting ready to turn it on when I get a text.
Cameron: Where the hell did you go?
Really, an hour later he realizes I didn’t follow him into the house? Screw him, I’m not even going to answer that question. Where did he think I went? Throwing my phone on the couch next to me, I push play. It goes off a couple more times, but I ignore it, I know who it is.
He must have given up; my phone hasn’t gone off in a while. I try to pay attention to the movie, not think about Cameron, but it isn’t working very well. This is crazy, flipping the television off, I decide going to bed is sounding like a better idea.
I’ve just started walking down the hall when someone is pounding on my front door and scares the crap out of me. Whoever it is isn’t just a heavy knocker, they are using their fist and pounding on it.
I am getting ready to look through the peephole when the door shakes again from the pounding and Cameron’s voice booms through. “Jayden, open this damn door!”
Why is he so pissed off? He left me in the car. Better question, how in the heck does he know where I live? We have only met at his house, he hasn’t been here yet.
“Jayden!” he yells again.
Flinging open the door, I yell back, “What the hell do you think you are doing? My neighbors are going to call the cops because of all the commotion you are making out here!”
“I don’t give a damn what your neighbors do. Why did you leave tonight? Why didn’t you answer my texts?”
He is mad I can see that, but I can see a little fear in his eyes as well. He has been worried. That cools my temper quickly. Now, all I want to do is throw myself into his arms, but I need him to understand what he did hurt.
“Would you stop yelling at me?”
Cameron ta
kes a couple deep breaths. When he looks back at me, all I see is relief in his eyes. Before I know it, he grabs me, pulling me up against his body and devouring my lips, all while he walks us both into my house and shuts the door.
Any anger left melts away, along with any resistance. It kind of bothers me knowing that just his kiss can change me so quickly. I can’t let him get off the hook this quickly and easily this time. I push away from him and take a step back. He takes a step toward me again and I hold up my hand to stop him.
“Cameron, how did you find out where I lived?”
“I got Travis’s number earlier tonight, so I texted him and asked.”
Crap, now Charliee will be wondering what is going on.
“Don’t worry, even due to the fact that I was pissed and worried, when I asked I made sure not to worry them,” he answers without me saying a word.
“Pissed and worried about what, Cameron?”
“Really, Jayden? You just left and then when I texted, you didn’t answer. I didn’t know where you were or if something had happened.”
“Wait! You aren’t turning this around on me. Did it take you an hour to realize I didn’t follow you into the house, Cameron?”
“Jayden, really, that’s why you’re mad? Because you think it took me an hour to realize you weren’t around?”
“No, Cameron,” I am shouting now. “It wasn’t that you took an hour. What pissed me off was the fact you closed me out again. I understand you were upset about that guy getting away, but you can’t keep putting a wall up between us. You got out of my car, didn’t say a word, and walked into the house, shutting the door behind you. It may be just me, but that doesn’t say ‘Please come on in’. You wanted to be alone, I left you alone.”
“Damnit, Jayden…”
I put my hand up to stop him. “No, Cameron, this isn’t going to be my fault, so don’t start with the whole ‘Damnit, Jayden’ thing.”