Dave The Penguin

by Nick Sambrook

It opened out to display the beautifully dark screen and keyboard, it then folded away again protectively when not in use, like it was asleep.

  Dave liked to keep it closed all the time he wasn’t using it or polishing it, so it was safe, and in mint condition.

  He called his computer device ‘Dave’, Dave the Computer, it just made things simple. He liked that.

  When he had first bought a laptop there was only very simple software loaded on it. You just had to switch it on, click on the ‘Welcome’ screen, and the software linked up with a cloud Internet thingy, and then it automatically downloaded what it needed.

  After that though, it seemed to develop a mind of its own. It also seemed to decide what you needed to have loaded on there too, which was helpful ; it busily downloaded all the basic software into it from somewhere - ‘bootstrapping’ it was called.

  Along with a whole range of collective junk-ware, that everyone else think you may need, which itself evolved and changed. You had to have it though - it all came as part of the ‘package’.

  He had the ‘DAVE’ operating system on his; Version 9.0, which was better, apparently, than DAVE Version 8, but in his opinion not as user friendly as Version 7.0, even though they were all just enhancements, and add-ons to the original program set. It was just what you were used to, even though this version seemed to make everything slower and more complicated.

  You then loaded up some of your own cloud information automatically, from your saved profile, from somewhere, giving it a sort of personality, some basic memories, your browsing and user habits, all the ‘look and feel stuff’, preferences, to fit in with everything else as easily as possible.

  Sometimes this also downloaded some of your stored files, your memories, films, pictures, work, that sort of thing, and you could pick up and load programs and data from your friend’s computers, and you could buy stuff from other penguins to put on there too if you wanted to, and it all happened automatically, most of the time.

  Information just seemed to come from everywhere, in so many ways, and a lot of the time you didn’t really know what was going into it, and from where. This bit was especially relevant if you lent it to other penguins to use or borrow, which was always a mistake.

  That is why it was important to keep it all secure, protected, ‘virus free’, firewalled, and also not to plug the hardware into the wrong sockets. His laptop had the latest camera, speakers, a microphone, and lots of indicator lights on it.

  Years ago these machines were much more isolated, stand-alone. They would operate all in their own little bubbles. Each isolated machine, although boring, just did a job, not interfacing with anything else, and not able to change very easily – just a device doing what was needed, basic software, just there for making life simpler, to save you time.

  It was, after all, originally designed to help make your life easier, more efficient, make your jobs quicker, so that you had time to do other things - like actually having a life.

  Now he spent most of his waking time playing on them, updating them, doing things on them, answering messages, ‘talking’ through them, and a large amount of time fixing it.

  But these devices were all quite limited in capacity, hard drive and memory, you could only download so much data, and only so many programs and files, and only a tiny proportion of what was in your cloud.

  This was only a microscopic fraction of what was in the penguin Inter-Web cloud thing, and what was distributed onto everyone else’s computers.

  It was all very limiting really, and you had to go through the whole process again, every time you got a new one.

  They also had a limited processor on them too which meant you couldn’t download and run everything at once.

  There was a sort of bandwidth of what could be downloaded and processed in one go, and limited capacity of what it could deal with at any one time. Which also obviously depended on how you looked after it, and what you loaded it with as you went along. It was so complicated.

  Then when you started using it, it had a basic sort of personality, a profile, which you could add to over time, and you could ‘educate it’ by adding more ‘knowledge software’ that you could buy or get free.

  It also learned things when you browsed around the world - ‘cookies’ they were called, little programs that did things that you weren’t aware of - in a helpful sort of way, well most of the time.

  They also gave information to something else that could then give you helpful information on what you may or may not need, functional, what was ‘right’ or ‘suitable’ for you.

  So you had to be quite organised, manage what you had on your device carefully, use the bandwidth wisely. It was all a process really.

  You had to delete what wasn’t needed, keep it tidy, do automatic backups, keep running virus protection software, that kept it ‘inoculated’ against things with protective tidying software, and of course, most importantly, avoid dropping it onto large rocks, or other equally hard objects.

  His device had built-in ways of communicating automatically and directly with other computers, and to the Inter-Web, and the cloud. ‘Networking’ it was called, with handshakes, protocols and negotiating at different levels, and types of meme data between programs, devices and systems, whatever that meant.

  It was a full time job just keeping it all going, and you never really stopped, stepped back, and thought about what you were doing and why. Deciding if you really needed all these things, or even why you were doing it.

  To Dave, it seemed like some sort of ongoing spiritual life journey for his laptop. He was supposed to look after what was on there, what it saw, what it knew, and its awareness to everything. Which made you very fond of it, and quite attached to it, in a protective sort of way.

  He still couldn’t work out though, why it took all of his time, and he wasn’t altogether sure why he was doing it, or where it was all leading.

  Why did laptops need to keep changing? Why did he need to keep adding information, adapting and improving? They were just devices that managed information after all. What was forcing the change, why didn’t they just stay the same?

  Some people didn’t bother though; they just used them for basic functions, like surfing, or playing zombie-like games on, or sending the odd message.

  Some would hardly load anything on them at all, and not even bother to save anything to the cloud. They didn’t look after them at all, slopping junk food and cola into the keyboard, letting the fan fill up with fluff - which made them overheat and become slow.

  It was madness really, irresponsible, but then a lot of penguins didn’t really care.

  They also just loaded anything on them, any cheap software. It was really lazy, but then if there was nothing making penguins do anything otherwise, why would they bother?

  It seemed such a waste; they should be using them properly, looking after them, and getting the most out of them.

  Which is what Dave was going to do with his.

  There was also a lot of dodgy software around too, and some very nasty viruses or harmful programs, that bad penguins had developed. So you had to be careful where you browsed, and what you allowed to access your system.

  These ‘dark forces’ were always getting smarter, it was a constant battle, you had to always stay one step ahead, just like in life. But then again there was always help around if you needed it, software and hardware engineers, kind helpful people, to get your system repaired and back into shape.

  It was all very clever; his laptop and the software on it, and all the system and setup.

  Everything you did was remembered, somewhere, in some sort of cloud drive thing, which was controlled and administered by something - some big organising thing - over time, keeping things safe for the next time you needed it, or if the device got broken or failed, and had to be replaced. It remembered everything for you, so you didn’t have to think or worry about it. Which was quite cool.

  It was good to know that something, somewhere knew what
was going on, controlled things, and was in charge, and was looking after everything.

  Something knew where everything needed to go, and what should be happening, and was well organised and knew what to do.

  It gave Dave a warm feeling that everything must be all right, directed, safe, and managed at a ‘higher’ level.

  So it would all be there on his laptop; his programs, memories photos, home movies, videos (or at least the ones he kept that weren’t backed up on the cloud drive), after all he didn’t have enough space to store everything.

  It had all his browsing history too, the games that he had played with other penguins on other machines, data he had copied from their other machines, books, music, journals, his diary, that sort of thing.

  He tried to keep it as organised, and as tidy as possible. He figured that if he kept everything managed and working properly, then what was going on in the cloud, Inter-Web thing would follow suit. Set a good example as it were.

  He was after all a very trusting penguin.

  The main problem was bandwidth though, and reliability, and the cost of getting it fixed when it broke down. Which is why it was always important to keep the receipt.

  There was also apparently a special switch you could press that made a copy of the laptop, like a clone, that invokes some bootstrap program.

  It only worked though if you bought two computers and connected them together. It created some sort of hybrid of the two, but with different looks, and had its own combined bootstrap program.

  Dave had tried it with his and his wife’s laptop, but it hadn’t worked. She thought it may have been that he hadn’t been able to find the right switch.

  All the laptops, devices, the cloud, Internet, knowledge, and the games being played all seemed like some collective process going on. They were all being driven by something, and something that clearly knew what it was doing.

  In fact, Dave thought, it was a good way of describing life, and the collective penguin mind consciousness thing and us, using information and devices.

  After all, that’s what it all was really, information and devices, but biological ones, like Dave. Just like in his favourite sci-fi film The Matrix, it was all just information in structures, but so much more complex than you could ever describe.

  You couldn’t describe it from what we perceived and knew as reality, even using physics with complex quantum field theory, psychology concepts, or philosophy.

  To Dave it was much easier to describe it all in terms of information and computer devices, it was much more – flexible, modern and abstract.

  Indeed this electronic and information system seemed to be simulating and emulating the nature and behaviour of the other, becoming more like it every day, even adopting the same techniques like hypnosis to beguile its users or customers, and adapting to its needs.

  Of course, Dave didn’t realise that what was also going on (as it wasn’t for his benefit and he didn’t need to know), was that certain data that he came across and things he looked at and thought about, weren’t just stored locally on his laptop, but also gathered from his system, and held and managed centrally, without him being aware of any of it.

  The data was held in secret parts of the laptop’s hardware, and by hidden ancient software that had been loaded during the booting process.

  All of this data would be relayed to a higher or central part of the cloud, and relayed to other collective devices, forming a macro informational structure and collective consciousness identity in the form of groups, organisations, both by the nature of the information and the organisation of the devices.

  As a result, the design of new computers and central software could then also be modified and adjusted by the higher part of the collective cloud system thing depending on popularity of the devices and the software.

  That was nature after all; it was always good to be part of something bigger.

  So the next time he got a new laptop it would be ever so slightly different, not just in the bits he used and saw, with his games, preferences and data, but also from a collective ‘all penguin’ perspective too.

  This would be the fashion, the ‘way everyone and everything was going’, and what was most impressive to other users.

  This direction all came from, of course as Dave knew, the big ‘All-Knowing Ever-Watching Penguin Quantum Bio- Operating Field Network’ system in the sky, or Mildred for short.

  Except of course it wasn’t in the sky, it was everywhere, all around him, in the gaps between everything , and he was part of it, but the other idea was a good one, for a penguin.

  The laptops evolved so quickly these days though it was so hard to keep up to date. For example there was now even a new one that had a fizzy drinks holder that flipped out when you opened the lid.

  How clever was that?

  So this laptop of Dave’s was a device, and what was running on it, all his data, and the data up in the cloud, was all part of a 'process' - or something like that.

  It all seemed to be quite personal somehow, mapped out for him, and as such, he really thought he needed to give these things more personal names like 'mind' or 'processing' or knowledge transfer, just to clarify things.

  Even though all of the software and hardware design had been written on and using computers, it was all now vastly complex, so much so that you couldn’t possibly describe it all or even define it.

  It also evolved so quickly now, unconsciously changing every day, becoming more and more knowledgeable, larger, more sophisticated.

  It almost seemed to have a conscious mind of its own now, even if though it was an artificially intelligent one.

  When Dave did play games on them he preferred the single player games like the space trading game Elite, or god games like Civilisation; or Age of Empires they were nice and simple, and straightforward with ‘well-defined’ rules and procedures.

  He didn’t like all these new multi-player fighting games, or interactive virtual roleplaying games, perhaps he was just an old fashioned sort of penguin, or just a bit or a hermit when it came to online gaming or social networking.

  He didn’t have a PenguinBook account and he certainly didn’t tweet.

  Anyway, that was all quite a while ago now, he thought, as he walked on his own across the plateau, with his new shiny laptop under his wing.

  Looming up in front of him now was the blue and black snow covered mountain that overshadowed the colony valley, and it looked daunting.

  Its steep slopes were white with ice and snow formations. In the mirrored frozen ice lake, towards which he walked it was reflected it perfectly as an upside down mirror image, forming two blue-white mountains.

  He had always wanted to climb right to the top of the mountain; nobody else had been that interested.

  But now he had decided that it had to be done, and so he had set off, just like that, with his laptop.

  He had a purpose, a need to climb and be up there, to see what was there, and use his laptop to explain everything of what he knew, to whatever was up there.

  He had the idea of finding whatever was there, the overall operating system network, and plugging his laptop into it, so it could see, show it, get it to understand, change, and do something.

  The journey took him several hours but eventually he reached the plateau of the mountain top, and he looked back and down.

  He had come a very long way, it was very very cold and his breath was just vapour.

  The process reminded him of his favourite 1970’s TV series Monkey, in which all the animal gods were made to go on a spiritual- journey- pilgrimage-holiday thing. Walking to a mountain, somewhere important in ancient India, with the nice priest - Tripitaka, who was really a girl. It was all long before cars or planes and G.P.S.

  Dave had always wondered why - since the Monkey God could fly - they weren’t just allowed to all to go straight to where they needed to go. Just in the same way that Gandalf could have used the Eagles to drop the Ring off directly to Mount Doom. />
  It’s probably the journey that is the important bit, he thought, or just another way for something to put controls in place to stop you getting too far too quickly, assuming of course that the thing that was sending you on that journey knew what it was doing.

  Besides there wouldn’t be any story to tell.

  However today on this particular journey, he wished it had got into its mind that ski lifts were allowable, he was having a bit of trouble with his legs and breathing, and so he put it down to the weight of the laptop.

  Dave liked Monkey and Tripitaka - he had always wondered what had happened to them. Perhaps they had retired on a beach somewhere, and were happy ?

  The wind was stronger now, and he looked down the steep, icy snow covered slopes down to the glass-like ice lake, over which he had journeyed hours ago.