When we emerged from the room I’d been kept in, I looked around trying to figure out where I was. Nothing looked familiar. I didn’t see Leo anywhere, and when we reached the top of a set of stairs, the man who was leading me tossed me into another room. This one had a window, but it was covered in bars. A bed was pushed up against the wall, but it wasn’t like the one in the room where I’d been. This one had sheets on it. The room looked like a fancy hotel bedroom.
“I get to go first,” the man who’d brought me upstairs snickered from behind me. “You look ripe for the picking, and I need a juicy peach,” his dark eyes stared at me, and as he stalked forward I watched him lick his lips. My blood ran cold as I staggered backward until my thighs hit the bed. There was nowhere to escape to, and as I screamed for help, I heard nothing but cold laughter.
I sat up, gripping my stomach as I fought to get control. My breathing was coming so fast I nearly hyperventilated. “It was a dream. It was a dream. You’re safe,” I repeated the words over and over. I’d been having little snippets of dreams for a few weeks, but this was the first time I’d relived that first night. My face was wet with the tears I’d been crying in my sleep, and my covers were twisted all around me as if I’d been thrashing in my dream. My phone was still clutched in my hand from where I’d fallen asleep while talking to Melissa. I glanced over at the clock on the bedside table, and took a deep breath. It was five in the morning. Not super early, but early enough that I didn’t want to call her back. I’d kept her up late the night before, and knew she had to be at the shelter in a few hours.
I swung my legs over the side of the bed, and stood. After washing my face with some cold water, I tugged on my running clothes. I needed to escape. I knew a run would help me feel in control once again, and clear my head.
After tying my shoes, I locked up my apartment and jogged down the stairs. The sun was just beginning to rise, and dew still hung in the air. I stretched quickly before turning to jog down the block. There was a park a few miles away and as my feet pounded the pavement it took me back to that day, the day I ran for my life.
Leo had been letting me come upstairs during the day. I’d behaved for months and followed his rules, and now I had free range of the first floor. It wasn’t much freedom, but I got to see the sun. The windows were locked shut and the doors were guarded, but after being punished multiple times, I knew not to try and run anyway.
I’d been working up the courage to ask Leo for a trip to the store for weeks. He almost never took us out with him on trips, but last week Mary had gotten him to take her to the local corner store. She’d been sick and needed medicine. When she came back she told us about how great the air smelled, and how she’d forgotten what the outside world looked like.
I’d wanted to go out just to smell the air. Leo always told me I was his favorite, so I decided to test that theory. It was morning, and I’d had a long night. Leo had had men in my room almost constantly. I was lucky I could stand. I shuffled into the kitchen where Ella was cooking as Leo ran his hand up her bare thigh. When I gasped, he glanced at me and made a show of touching her as she tried to continue her task undeterred.
“Hold still,” he gripped her neck with his other hand as his palm slipped into the waistband of her underwear. She whimpered as a tear ran down her cheek and her eyes closed. “You’re mine! You hear me? Mine!” the hand holding her neck suddenly grabbed her wrist as he forced her hand into the pot of boiling water in front of her. I heard her scream for days after that. “What do you want?” he turned to me as if nothing had just happened.
I swallowed as I worried what my fate might be for even asking to go with him. “I was wondering if I could come on the errand run today, Sir,” I kept my eyes down, one of his rules, as I waited.
“Why?” he turned and moved toward me, pausing right in front of me. I wouldn’t have even known he was there if the toes of his boots weren’t right in my line of sight.
“I’ve followed the rules, Sir. I’d like to go outside, please,” I kept my voice steady, and prayed he’d say yes. When he did, I couldn’t celebrate. Instead, I nodded and thanked him for his kindness.
That afternoon when Leo made his trip into town, I accompanied him. He let me wear clean clothes and shoes. I hadn’t worn shoes in years. I had it planned perfectly. The first chance I had, I would run. I would run and never look back.
When I rounded the corner that led to the park entrance, I slowed my pace. As soon as I made it through the gate, I hid in the shadows of the willow trees. Placing my hands on my hips, I leaned forward and attempted to catch my breath. Fear from my memories had kept me running today just as they had three years ago. The knowledge that I’d gained during my time with Leo wasn’t something I’d ever want anyone to ever endure.
Leo broke me. All the times I’ve tried to move on and be normal have failed; last night at the bar was a prime example. One wrong move or an unwelcome advance sent me running as fast as I could go. Nothing Melissa’s said, or anyone else for that matter, can help me. I’ve tried, and I fail every time.
After catching my breath, I turned to head to the local bakery. A coffee and muffin sounded good, and I could eat it on my way home before I had to start my day. I was working at the bar again tonight, but my daily routine of seeing my shrink and cleaning my apartment still had to be done.
I wasn’t paying attention when I rounded the corner, or I would’ve stopped before running head first into him. My head snapped up just as he grabbed my arms to steady me. “Whoa,” he chuckled before releasing me quickly. He must have seen the panic on my face because he began apologizing immediately. “I’m sorry,” he held his hands up and stepped back.
“It’s ok,” I mumbled as I turned to rush away, forgetting about my breakfast. I’d get it somewhere else if it meant escaping him. He wouldn’t understand, and I’d already made a fool of myself the night before.
“Would you like to join me?” Jeff smiled, but it quickly turned into a frown of confusion when I began to walk faster.
“I can’t. Sorry,” I waved my hand in the air as my walk quickly turned into a run. The need to escape filled me, and I knew I had only moments before another panic attack set in. He’d never understand, there was no way he could help me.
Chapter 4
Jeff
I watched as she raced down the sidewalk. I should have gone after her, tried to stop her, talk to her, anything but what I actually did… nothing. My shoulders dropped in defeat as I turned and entered the bakery. I knew that what I was about to do could go one of two ways. It could send her running, or get my foot into a door she’d long locked me out of.
“Can I get two coffees, extra cream, and a blueberry scone?” I smiled at the barista as I fumbled with my wallet.
When she came back, she smiled and shook her head as I handed her a twenty-dollar bill, “Boys in blue eat free here,” she handed me the bag with the scone before batting her eyes. I’d never been given free food here before, so I knew this was her flirting and if I’d been thinking clearly I would have insisted on paying, but as it was I just wanted to get on with my plan before I chickened out.
“Thanks,” I nodded as I picked up the coffees. I gave a quick wave before heading back outside.
I knew where she lived. I’d followed her home and stared at her window half the night. I knew showing up uninvited was slightly creepy since I wasn’t even supposed to know where she lived, but I couldn’t seem to think clearly when I was around her. I didn’t really know what that meant yet, but in my head I thought I was helping in some way.
The closer I got to her place, the quicker my pace became until I was standing in front of the door to her building. I looked down at the items in my hands before shaking my head. I was an idiot. I was going to scare the shit out her by doing this, but what did I do? I went in and stalked up the stairs to her apartment. I knew which one was hers based on last night, and when I knocked on her door I readied myself for the battle I was getting ready to e
ndure.
I stood there for a good ten minutes waiting, but she never opened the door. I pressed my ear to the metal to see if I could hear movement, but none came. I had no idea where she would’ve gone, but I didn’t really know her either. Maybe she was telling the truth when she turned me down. Maybe she was busy and I was reading the situation all wrong. I huffed as I cursed myself for reading too far into this whole thing before leaning down to set the coffee and scone in front of her door. If I hadn’t had to be at work, I would have waited for her. I had no way of telling her it was from me, and wondered if she would even see it anytime soon. Shaking my head, I turned with my own coffee and began the walk home all the while berating myself for being so presumptuous.
oooooooo
Lena
I’d been so rattled this morning that I went straight to Dr. Barnes office without even changing out of my running clothes. I was early, but thankfully she knew that there had to be a reason for it. I paced the waiting room as I waited my turn, and when she let me in I unloaded on her.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I paced her office in a panic. “I’ve been ok for months now. Why is this coming back?” I babbled.
“Have you changed your routine?” she sat in a chair across the room, giving me space to move. Dr. Barnes knew that I’d been held captive and small spaces made me feel the need to move around. Her small office didn’t help, but she’s always tried to be accommodating.
“No,” I shook my head frantically. “Work, home, work, home. It’s all I do,” I spun to face her. “I don’t go out. I don’t date. I’ve tried,” I tipped my head back to face the ceiling. “God knows I’ve tried. You know this!” I spun on her as anger surged through me.
She nodded as she wrote some things down before looking up at me, “I’m on your side. Remember?” she smiled.
“I’m sorry. It’s just…there’s this guy,” I stopped in front of the couch on the far wall and let myself drop down onto its soft cushions.
“I see,” she smiled slightly before continuing to write.
“No, you don’t,” I scowled. “He seems nice. I want him to be nice. God, he makes my heart flutter. He’s so good looking, and he knows it. His eyes…they show understanding, but I’m not sure what. He was flirting with me, and I tried to flirt back, but then he touched me and I panicked. I can’t do this!” I flailed my arms in the air. “I want to so bad, but I can’t. He’ll never understand, and I don’t know how to explain that.” I took a few deep breaths as I leaned back and closed my eyes. “How do I tell him that I’m messed up, and can never be ‘that girl’?”
“I think part of the problem here is you’re going about this all wrong,” Dr. Barnes shifted in her seat. “I think you need to try being friends with this guy first. If he truly likes you and wants to get to know you, then he’ll be ok with that. Give it time and go slow. Learn to trust him, Lena.”
“I don’t know if I can,” I closed my eyes but the minute I did, I saw Leo laughing at me. They flew open, and I blinked a few times. “Damn it!” I pounded my fists on my thighs. “Get out of my head,” I pleaded.
Dr. Barnes began scribbling again before she glanced at the clock. “Our time is almost up for today, but I want you to try this. I’m adjusting the medication you’ve been taking. This should help with the dreams. If you don’t see a difference in a few days, please come back and we’ll try something else. You’re a strong woman, Lena. You can do this,” she held out the small piece of paper to me as I rose to take it.
“Thanks,” I released a defeated smile. I didn’t have much faith in the medication, but with the way I’d been feeling lately, I was ready to try pretty much anything.
The walk home was slow and deliberate. I needed to clear my mind, and the fresh air always helped. The sun was high overhead, and a slight breeze was blowing. Summer would be ending soon, and cooler nights would be here before you knew it. I tried to enjoy the small things in life. The birds chirping, cars cruising along with music filtering out their windows, the smell of local restaurants preparing for their busy evening that was sure to come. I knew that tonight would be a busy one with the fact that school was back in session and now that the expansion was open, Sam had been packing in the crowds.
As I rounded the corner to enter my building, I saw someone I didn’t recognize leaving. His back was to me, but he seemed familiar. He rushed away, so I didn’t get the chance to really look at him, but my gut twisted as I stared at his back. I tried to shake off the feeling as I climbed the steps to my floor, but when I saw the bag sitting on my mat, I froze.
No one knew where I lived except Melissa. I never gave out my address to anyone. I did this for protection, and out of fear. My sister didn’t even know where I lived. I only kept in touch with her through phone calls. As far as I knew, I’d been careful.
I glanced around to see if maybe it belonged to someone else and got placed by my door by mistake, but no one else was around. I stood there panicked as I chewed on my nail. Who would have done this, and what was it? Then I remembered the person leaving. Since my escape, my gut had never failed me. Right now it was sending off alarms, and I don’t know why I chose not to listen. Maybe it was my most recent visit with Dr. Barnes that had my confidence up, I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that my feet were slowly inching toward the brown bag, and I couldn’t seem to stop my curiosity.
When I came to a stop, I stared down at the bag. A small white label was attached to the outside with the name of the bakery I stopped at this morning. I laughed at myself as I picked it up. I peered inside the bag and found a blueberry scone sitting inside. Right by my foot was a cup of coffee to go along with it. Who would have done this? I looked around again thinking that someone might be watching me for a reaction, but found no one. I had a few neighbors that had been nice to me over the months, and finally brushed it off as one of them. It had to be. No one else knew I was even here.
oooooooo
Work was insane over the next several weeks. The guys came in on their regular nights, and Dev finally seemed to be out of the dog house with Sam. Tiff was back giving me a hard time, but Jeff hasn’t been by in weeks. It’s like I freaked out on him and totally scared him off. None of his buddies have said anything, and I haven’t asked.
As the night wound down, I sighed and leaned against the bar. It had been three weeks since my freak out in the store room. Sam had never mentioned it, and Jeff hadn’t been here to question me, so I thought that I might have been able to get away with not talking about it, but I was wrong.
“Long night?” his voice sounded from behind me, causing me to jump slightly. I had my back to the bar as I leaned into the cooler to move the beers forward.
“Shit!” I hissed as I banged my elbow on the edge of the cooler.
“You are the jumpiest person I’ve ever met,” he chuckled, but sobered when his eyes connected with mine. I didn’t mean to look scared, but I guess I did because the way he held his hands up trying to assure me he didn’t mean to harm me was almost instantaneous. “I’m sorry,” he blurted out as he scrubbed his palms over his face. “Fuck! I suck at this,” he hissed before glancing up at me. I felt for the guy, I really did. He didn’t understand that it wasn’t him. It wasn’t any of them, it was me. I was the reason they couldn’t get in. I was the reason that they ran the other way. I was the screwed up one, not them.
“It’s fine,” I murmured as I grabbed a towel and began wiping the bar. I knew if I kept myself busy I’d be better off.
“I’m a good listener,” Jeff murmured. I pretended I didn’t hear him as I counted the beers I just organized. “Lena,” his voice was soft as if he were talking to a wounded animal. I turned and when my eyes met his, his face softened. “I don’t know what happened to you, but I’m here to talk.” He squeezed my hand before he stood up.
“Talking doesn’t help,” I mumbled as I went back to wiping the bar. “Nothing helps.”
“Well, I’m here if you ever want a frien
d,” he turned and began walking to the back corner where the pool tables were to meet the rest of his friends.
Friends. Like I could be friends. I didn’t have any except for Melissa and she wasn’t ever really a friend. I was never going to be normal. It just wasn’t in the cards for me. I’d deal with this fear for the rest of my life. Leo was unstoppable. No one had ever gotten close enough to take him down. The police got real close once, but he snuck underground before they could make an arrest. As long as he was out there, I’d never be free. Fear would run my life with Leo steering it daily.
Chapter 5
Jeff
Time seemed to stop lately. I’d been busy at the station, and the few times I’d been by the bar it had been extremely busy. I’d heard Dev mention that Sam wanted to expand, and based on business I’d said it was a good idea. Tonight was no different. Jase, Dev, and Mark were joking around with Mason; I wasn’t sure what it was about, but it seemed to be funny. I saw a blonde go storming off a few seconds later, and laugher erupted from their group. Lena was behind the bar, and I watched as she shook her head. A few short minutes later, Mason left.
“What was that all about?” I pulled a stool out and sat down.
“I’m not real sure,” Lena half mumbled as she grabbed my favorite beer and opened it before sliding it in front of me. “I think he might know her.”
“She’s seen his dick,” Jase hooted.
“What?” I quirked my brow. “How do you know that?”
“Why else would a woman run that fast from him? All he did was say hi,” Jase snickered again. “The only thing that could piss off a woman that fast would be something that involved his dick.”
“Can you guys talk about something else?” Tiff sighed as she finished wiping the bar, tossed Lena the rag, and came around to stand with the guys. “I’m ready to get out of here. How about you?” she smiled as her hand snaked around Jase’s middle.
Below the Surface (The Witness Series Book 5) Page 3