Fan The Flames (Man Of The Month Book 3)

by Michele Dunaway

  Her fingers held the thin envelope, assessing its heavy coarse texture. Then she tossed it unopened onto the center island. “This isn’t what’s important now. You are. Let’s go. Get upstairs.”

  Proving how worn down the ordeal had made him, Brad went up the stairs without further argument. When she brought up the hot chocolate, complete with whipped cream, she found him cuddled together with Colleen under her favorite fuzzy throw blanket. On the screen, the character Elsa was singing “Let it Go.” Scarlett passed over the mugs. Knowing Colleen would immediately take a drink, Scarlett had added an ice cube to hers. “Yours is hot,” she told Brad. “Be careful.”

  He nodded, and the group fell into an easy silence, disturbed only by Colleen’s occasional chatter as she pointed out something in the movie. After the movie ended, Scarlett put Colleen to bed. “Brad’s going to stay here,” she told her daughter. “He’s going to move into the house. Is that okay?”

  “Yes,” Colleen enthused. “I love Brad.”

  “I know you do.” Scarlett kissed her daughter on the forehead. Harry had curled up next to her and was already asleep. “Brad loves you too.”

  “So will we be a family?” Colleen asked.

  Scarlett turned off the light and the night light came on. “Yes, we will.”

  “Good,” Colleen said, snuggling under the covers. “I like that idea.”

  Scarlett returned to the living room, where Brad had spread out on the couch. He was fast asleep. She sighed. She’d meant for him to sleep in the bed with her. He wasn’t going to be comfortable if he stayed here. She shook his shoulder. “Brad.”

  “Huh?” he asked.

  “You’re not sleeping here on the couch.”

  “No?” he grumbled, barely awake.

  “No,” she repeated.

  She helped him to his feet and led him into her bedroom. Their bedroom, she corrected. She wasn’t planning on letting him go ever again. Brad stripped down to his boxers and climbed into the queen-sized bed. They’d need to move his mattress in, Scarlett noted, so he fit better. “Do I need to get you up for work?”

  “No,” he mumbled. “Don’t work until at least Friday. Have to get cleared by workman’s comp doc first. Appointment’s written on my dismissal paper.”

  “Then get some rest,” she told him. “I’ll be back in a little bit after I clean up the hot cocoa cups.”

  She leaned over him, watched as he closed his eyes. She turned off the bedside lamp, bathing the room in darkness. She stood, waiting until she heard the regular breathing that indicated he was asleep. Then she went back out to the living room and carried the dirty hot chocolate mugs to the kitchen. She put them in the dishwasher, along with the dinner dishes. The elephant in the room sat on the island, and she reached for the manila envelope. Her fingers fumbled with the metal clasp and she broke one of the metal prongs as she opened the flap.

  Inside was a plain white number ten envelope. Todd had scrawled her name across the front. The envelope was the old kind—meaning Todd had had to lick the glue strip in order to seal it. She could tell no one had ever opened it.

  She started to slide a shaking forefinger under the edge and then changed her mind and used a steak knife. Like the previous letters to Brad, Todd had written hers on loose-leaf paper. Unlike Brad’s, hers was still crisp and clean from only having been folded once.

  She unfolded the trifold missive, took a deep breath, and sat on one of the counter stools. She could do this. She could read Todd’s final words to her.

  My beloved Scarlett, he began. She closed her eyes and set the paper down. Then she tilted her face heavenward so she could stare at the high white ceiling. She took a few deep breaths before lifting the paper again. There was nothing to be afraid of but fear itself, right?

  My beloved Scarlett. If you’re reading this, first, it means that I’m no longer here. I’m sorry for putting you through that. No one plans to die, and no one plans to hurt anyone, especially the ones they love. I’m sorry for the pain and loss. I never meant to ever hurt you, ever. But if you are holding this, then it means Brad’s determined you’ve fallen in love again. Perhaps it’s selfish of me, especially because I probably haven’t been the best husband, more like an ass, really, but I wanted you to know that my final wish is that you are happy. That’s all I ever wanted for you. Maybe we were too young and too naïve to know any better, but that’s what made our love exciting, you know? I did love you very much. Do love you. You were my rock and I took you for granted. I hope whoever he is that he knows to never do that. You shouldn’t take one minute for granted. Not one. I made that mistake and I don’t want you to do the same. So don’t mourn for me but grasp—what is it, that gold ring? Hell, it doesn’t matter. Grab whatever it is, whoever it is, grab him with both hands and don’t let go.

  Scarlett set the letter down, went to the roll of paper towels, grabbed one and blew her nose. She used another to wipe her tears. Oh, Todd. There was more, but Scarlett couldn’t read through the waterworks falling from her eyes. Tears dripped onto the white paper, but the aged ink long dried didn’t smear. She wiped her eyes again and continued.

  I hope he’s a good husband to you. I’ve asked Brad to look out for you, so if he’s giving you this then he’s convinced that whoever you’ve chosen is the right person. He’s always cared for you, so I know I can trust him in this. He’s called me out every time I was a shit. I can trust him to be your champion and screen whoever comes around. Brad’s always had my back, and he won’t let anyone come around who’s not worthy. Call it my last act from the grave, but you and Colleen are too important to leave this thing fully to fate. I hope you’ll forgive me for meddling but understand why I had to do that. Last, I need you to do something for me. Brad didn’t reenlist. If I’m gone, he’s going to think it’s his fault. That’s just his way. He’ll blame himself. He’ll think he could have done something. Made it different. After my first tour, remember how we set up our estate? Seemed so premature and oh how we fought. But the fact is, like I told you, when your number’s up, it’s up. And if you’re holding this, then my ticket got punched and nothing could have stopped that bitch fate from claiming her prize. So make sure you forgive him, and maybe that will help him forgive himself. I’ve told him, but he’s not going to believe me.

  At this point, Scarlett noticed there were a few watermarks on the paper not caused by her own tears. Todd had been crying himself as he wrote it. Her super tough Navy SEAL had shed tears.

  I’m sure by now I’m rambling as I write this, but I’m sitting here contemplating that I’m dead, which is something none of us want to ever do, and trying to think of everything I want to say to you that I haven’t said over the years. How sorry I am when I hurt you. How you made me the happiest man in the world when you married me and how I could see heaven when you placed Colleen in my arms for the first time. I think I’ll miss her growing up the most, for every time I come home she’s changed. There’s nothing like being Daddy, you know? I owe that to you. You’re a fabulous mother. I know she’s in good hands. And you, my love, I’ll miss sitting on the beach with you and watching the sunset. That moment of orange and reds where the earth seems for a moment like it’s on fire. There’s nothing like California. Thank you for leaving me there but know that I am always with you in spirit. I have your back.

  A few more water droplets marred the ink, made the paper ripple. Scarlett needed another paper towel and pulled four large sheets off the roll. Might as well. She figured she’d use them.

  I only have a few more minutes and I’ve got to get myself together. The guys don’t need to see me like this. Just know I love you and I want you happy. Please go on with your life. Live. Laugh. Love. Like that sign in our house says. Take that to heart. You’re not the type to forget, and I know you never will, but you are the type to hold on. You deserve to be happy, so let me go and move on. Let yourself love again and be happy. It’s my final wish for you. Love you forever, Todd.

  Scarlet
t set the letter down and let the tears flow. She cried for the loss. She cried for being able to finally let go. She sobbed for what should have been and for the foresight Todd had in making sure she knew she could have a future free from guilt. She lifted the letter and kissed the sheets of paper. Carried them into the living room where the flag sat like a beacon, the lone decoration in the darkened room highlighted by the glow of the streetlights. “I will always love you,” she whispered, touching the glass. “Thank you. Thank you.”

  She heard the footsteps and the lights in the hallway flickered on. “Scarlett? Are you okay? Why do I have this feeling things aren’t okay?” Brad hit the switch and the floor lamp flooded the room with light. He saw her tears immediately and crossed to her side. “Hey. What’s wrong?”

  “Why are you out of bed?” she asked, trying to hide her tears.

  “I’m a former SEAL. I’m fine. You’re not. Tell me.”

  She sniffled and extended the letter. “Here.”

  He didn’t reach for it. “This is yours.”

  She waved it and the papers rustled. “It’s okay. Please. You need to read it.”

  Brad took it and she turned back to face the flag. She could see him reflected in the glass. When he finished reading, he looked at her. She simply nodded and burst into fresh tears. He gathered her into his arms, the letter in one hand. Then he reached behind him and set it on the mantel, freeing his hand. She pressed her face to his bare chest, inhaling. “Please forgive me,” she begged.

  “You have nothing to be sorry for,” Brad told her. “I’m the fool. But I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

  “You scared me today. I was so angry. So afraid.”

  “I’m sorry. But I promise to be home after every shift. I’m going to sit on that porch with you when we are old and gray. I promise.”

  “I’m going to hold you to that. As well as a promise for no more guilt. No more running away. It wasn’t your fault Todd died. I forgive you. He forgives you. You have to forgive yourself or we can’t go forward. I want a future with you. Todd wants me happy, and you make me happy.”

  A lone tear slid down Brad’s cheek. “Okay. I’ll try. I’ve never done this before. It’s all new.”

  She used two fingers to wipe away the tear. “I’ll show you the way. I’ll have your back the entire time. That’s my promise.” She put it in terms he’d understand. “My forever mission.”

  He lowered his lips to her and kissed her lightly. “It feels so wrong to be happy when he’s not here.”

  “But he is. He’s here.” Scarlett put Brad’s hand on his heart. Then she moved it to hers. “He’s also here. And this is what he would have wanted,” Scarlett soothed. “His last act of unselfishness was to bring us together, almost as if he knew it was the right thing to do. He loved us that much, and if we don’t respect his gift by loving each other to the best of our abilities, for the rest of our lives, then we will have failed him.”

  “Let’s not do that. I love you. I want us to be happy.”

  “We will because I love you too.”

  He kissed her again tenderly, and she took his hand and led him from the living room. As they went upstairs, they flipped the switches, sending the house into darkness. “Back to bed,” Scarlett said, and Brad climbed onto the queen-sized mattress.

  “I want a whole new set of furniture in here, so we’ll need to buy a new bed,” he told her as she returned from the bathroom. “Okay with that?”

  “As long as I can find you in it,” Scarlett said as she slid under the covers. He kissed her tenderly and then spooned himself around her, drawing her close so he could hold her tight. At that moment, the cuddling gesture was more intimate and full of promise than any sexual act could have been. “But what will I do when you sleep at the firehouse?”

  “You can fill the bed with cats,” Brad told her. “Or kids.”

  “Be careful what you’re offering. I could take you up on both,” Scarlett said with a joyous little laugh. He made her so happy. “If you don’t watch out, you might get much more than you bargained for.”

  “I already have,” Brad whispered against her neck as they drifted off into sleep. “I already have.”

  Epilogue

  Eighteen months later

  “Who gets married in their home?” Bernadette said, fussing with the white rose bouquet. She shooed Harry from the bed. He strode out, tail high, followed by their newest cat, Cleo. “What was wrong with a church wedding? Or a reception somewhere nice rather than a barbeque in the backyard?”

  “Mom,” Scarlett chided gently. “This is what I wanted.”

  Scarlett gave herself one last glance in the floor-length mirror. The off-white dress was a simple, A-line silk sheath that fell to her knees. Her hair had been pinned up and had pearls woven through. Wispy tendrils of red fell by her cheeks. “It’s perfect and we wanted to show the place off. We’ve spent the last two years perfecting it and it’s what brought us together in the first place. Besides, we wanted something simple. Just family and close friends.”

  “You’re pretty, Mommy,” Colleen said. Now a full-fledged kindergartener, she would act as the maid of honor.

  “Let me fix your gloss,” Scarlett said. She opened the tube and swiped Colleen’s lips with another light pink layer. “Perfect.”

  Jenni came into the bedroom. Gave a thumbs-up. “We’re ready.”

  Scarlett’s mom gave her a big hug. Tears glistened in her eyes. “I’m so happy for you,” she told her.

  “Mom, you’ll make me cry and ruin my makeup. Out.” Scarlett gave her mom a kiss and wiped her eyes. “Go take your seat.”

  “We good to go?” Jenni asked. Scarlett nodded. “Then I’ll go tell them.”

  The ceremony was in the first-floor living room, and as violin music began floating up the stairs, Scarlett took her daughter’s hand. “You ready for this?”

  “For you and Dad to be married? Yes.” Colleen had started calling Brad Dad over a year ago. She paused. “Do you think Daddy in heaven is watching?”

  Scarlett nodded. Touched the diamond earrings she wore in Todd’s honor. “I do. And I think he’s very happy for us.”

  “Me too.”

  So holding hands, she and her daughter began their descent down the staircase. When they made the turn at the landing, they could see into the living room and the guests assembled there. Brad’s coworkers. Jenni, Adam and their kids. All of her and Brad’s extended families on both sides. The only ones missing were Todd’s parents, but Scarlett understood their decision not to postpone their trip to Argentina. They’d accepted the situation and wished her and Brad well, but today would have been hard for them.

  Brad waited by the front windows—the guests were seated back through the living room and into the dining room where all had a great view. Brad wore his blue suit instead of the tuxedo. She’d wanted an informal ceremony, a complete contrast to the Vegas wedding she’d had after high school in which they’d all rented formal wear, including the gaudy, poufy white dress she’d worn.

  She and Colleen approached, and at that moment, Brad looked up and smiled at her. She knew she’d never forget the love she saw in his eyes or the expression of undeniable joy on his face. Her entire heart warmed and filled with love. This was the official start of their future, as was the baby she was carrying that so far only Brad knew about. They’d tell everyone else later, over the wedding cupcakes, when they all realized she couldn’t sip the celebratory champagne. She released Colleen’s hand and gave her the bouquet to hold. Took Brad’s hands in hers. “You ready for this commitment?” she teased.

  He tightened his grip. Those brown eyes never wavered. “I’ve been waiting for this day my whole life.”

  She turned to the minister. “We’re ready.”

  “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join…” the minister intoned, beginning the ceremony.

  And as Scarlett said her vows, sealing herself to the man she loved, the man who’d given h
er a second chance at happiness, the man she’d saved from himself in the process, the century-old house seemed to sigh—its future as a home for a loving, growing family forever secure.

  About the Author

  Describing herself as a woman who does way too much and never wants to stop, Michele Dunaway is a bestselling author and award-winning high school teacher. In addition to teaching English III, Michele advises the student newspaper and yearbook. She is a JEA Distinguished Yearbook Adviser, a Dow Jones News Fund Special Recognition Adviser, and a Missouri High School Journalism Teacher of the Year. Proud mother of two daughters, Michele is an avid pet lover who shares her home with far too many rescued cats, who of course completely rule the roost.

  Visit: http://micheledunaway.com or sign up for email updates here.

  Man of the Month Series

  By Michele Dunaway

  www.MicheleDunaway.com

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  This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

  FAN THE FLAMES. Copyright © 2015 by Michele Dunaway.

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