Love of the Game - The Complete Collection (Box Set)

by Shayne McClendon

  Tears tracked down her cheeks. “Eventually, I’ll be strong again. I won’t…I won’t love him anymore and that will be better.” Harley stalked to the kitchen window and looked at the trees outside. “This is a painful lesson but I’ve learned it.”

  She would not give up her life, she would bring this baby into the world and make it part of her life. Do what she could to make it all mesh together.

  If anyone was smart enough, it was her.

  Eventually, she’d have no choice about forgiving her brother but she was sick at heart to lose two people she cared about…men she loved. She steeled her heart against the hurt and focused on the anger. Obviously, she cared a hell of a lot more for them than they did for her.

  She started thinking about her plans. There would be no retreat, no defeat.

  Chapter Four

  Four months later, the Jamison’s drove to North Carolina to spend Thanksgiving with Harley at her apartment. She refused to make the trip home. It was too much of a risk that she might run into Beck or Dex.

  Opening the door, she almost slammed it when she saw her older brother standing beside her parents. He took a step forward.

  “Harley, wait. I…” He frowned as he took in her appearance.

  Wearing soft yoga pants and a flowing t-shirt, she watched realization cross his face. At eight months along, her condition was obvious.

  “You’re pregnant.”

  She didn’t respond.

  “Oh my god, Harley. Have you told…”

  Chopping her hand through the air, she hissed, “Don’t say his fucking name.” Turning, she walked to her kitchen and put the small bar between them. “Why did you come here, Hart?”

  “You’re my sister. I missed you and wanted to see you.”

  Again, she said nothing. No way was she letting him off that easy. Her parents stood just inside the small dining area and watched their children warily.

  A look of pain went over his features. “I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry, Harley.”

  She blinked.

  “Everything went so wrong, so fast. I should have protected you.”

  Clenching her hands tightly together on the counter, she murmured, “Yes, Hart. You should have protected me.” Her chest hurt. She’d always adored her brother, idolized him growing up. “I’m doing this alone. He hasn’t earned the right to be near me, much less this baby. If you ever want to be part of my life again, you have to agree to respect my wishes.”

  “Are you sure, Harley? He should help you financially at least.”

  Her chin went up. “I don’t need his fucking money. Mom and Dad are helping and I work. I’m going to be just fine. I can do this and if you want to be involved, you have to let me do it my way. You didn’t protect me before. Protect me now, Hart.”

  He walked around the counter and turned her to him. As he pulled her into the tight hug only Hart could give, she broke. Holding on to her anger was impossible with him here.

  Harley remembered breaking her arm when she was little and how scared he’d been for her. How he cheered at every sporting event she competed in. He and his friends filled in with her soccer team for weeks when their coach had an emergency appendectomy.

  Since her first memory, her older brother held a steady place in her world.

  “It hurts, Hart. It just hurts and it feels like it won’t ever stop. Why would he do that to me? I thought he loved me. I wanted so badly for him to love me.”

  “I know. I’m sorry, Harley. So sorry. I know it doesn’t feel like it now but I know that hurt will get better. I hate my part in causing it.” He leaned her back and tipped up her chin. Wiping away her tears, he said, “We do things your way. I owe you.”

  She nodded and he hugged her again.

  He was right. It would get better.

  The next morning, Harley was making coffee in the kitchen when Hart came in to sit at the bar. He rubbed his hand roughly over his close-cropped hair.

  “Sorry about the air mattress. My bed’s bigger.”

  “I’m not taking the pregnant lady’s bed, Harley. It was fine.” Crossing his arms on the countertop, he smiled. “You make a really pretty pregnant lady.”

  She turned to face him and took a deep breath. “I know you have questions. I’m better today. Ask me whatever you want.”

  “How did you get pregnant? I know you’re crazy about protection.”

  Staring through the kitchen window, she smoothed the side of her hair. “He wasn’t right that day. He seemed high or something but swore he wasn’t. It…it happened really fast. I realized after that he…he hadn’t used anything.” Shaking her head, she added, “It was the only time but that was enough.”

  “Did he rape you, Harley?” His jaw was tight with tension.

  “No. I didn’t think so then and I don’t think so now. He was manic, desperate almost. He needed and I gave. I didn’t always know how to help him.” She scrubbed the tear that slipped down her cheek. “I could have been anyone. It was never about me at all. I was stupid.”

  “You weren’t stupid. I know it might take you a long time to believe, but he does love you. He’s fucked up, there’s no doubt about that, but he loves you.”

  “Wishful thinking, Hart.”

  “History, Harley. I’ve known those men all my life and despite our actions over the last year, I know for a fact that either of them would give their life for you just as I would.”

  Her voice was hoarse. “I can’t think about that. I can’t focus on how much I love them because it makes me weak and I can’t afford to be weak. I have to think about this baby and work on making a life for us.”

  “I know.” Hart stood and poured them both coffee and kissed her forehead. “Let’s take things one day at a time. What can I do for you?”

  “I have baby furniture in boxes in the spare room. I haven’t had time to put it together.”

  “Consider it done.”

  Harley’s family spent a week in North Carolina. The siblings worked to heal the rifts between them and even though it wasn’t perfect, she found herself looking forward to the New Year.

  The year she would become a mother.

  It was hard to watch them drive away but she was certain that staying in North Carolina was the best choice at this stage of her life.

  Instead of completely putting off school until after the baby, Harley signed up for several online classes when the registrar gave her the option. The simple and boring classes she wanted to get out of the way, she focused on now.

  Working remotely for her parents, she was able to double up on classes during the fall term. With the college credits she acquired in high school, she would end up ahead of the game.

  Bailey showed up for winter break, giddy with happiness that they had almost six weeks together before she had to return to school in California.

  The amount of money her best friend spent on stuff for her goddaughter was insane. Harley was due at the end of December. She waddled through store after store to finish her Christmas shopping and Bailey’s enthusiasm was contagious.

  “Stop saying you waddle. You carry that baby so pretty, girl. I’d look like a bass drum.”

  “You’re going to be adorable pregnant.”

  Bailey snorted. “I seriously doubt that. I don’t know that I’m a mom type anyway. I’m definitely an aunt type…look at this teeny tiny outfit! Oh my god!”

  They grocery shopped and cooked the entire day before her family was due to arrive. As they spooned cookie dough on baking sheets, Bailey met her eyes.

  “How are you doing…really, Harley?”

  “A little scared. Part of me wants to call him and I know that’s a horrible idea. I’m too emotional right now to make rational decisions.”

  “You don’t have to decide anything now. How much or how little information do you want me to give you?” There was no need to clarify to whom her friend was referring.

  “None. Not yet.” Harley tried to smile and shrugged when it was a comp
lete failure. “I loved him…them…for so long. I guess it will take time for that to wear off. I keep hoping.”

  “I understand that well.”

  The two of them rarely talked about Bailey’s love life. It was too close for both of them. Her friend felt awkward and Harley felt helpless to make it better.

  Bailey had been in love with Hart for just as many years as Harley had loved Beck and Dex. Their hearts refused to consider other options, no matter the pain of staying the course.

  They were quiet for a long time, their minds lost in what they wished instead of the reality.

  Finally, Bailey shook her head. “Enough of that bullshit. Let’s put some music on and stop moping. It’s unattractive and we are two of the hottest bitches I know.”

  The funny thing about pretending to be happy…sometimes you fooled yourself.

  Before long, they were eating the dough instead of baking it and dancing around the apartment singing with wooden spoons.

  Some traditions would always be worth keeping.

  When her family showed up the next morning, neither of the young women allowed their melancholy to show.

  Christmas was wonderful.

  The twinges Harley felt in her low back made her nervous but she smiled through it and pretended everything was fine. They unwrapped gifts, ate too much, laughed together, and watched It’s a Wonderful Life…and tears flowed as they did every year.

  “Aww, Hart. You’re so sensitive.” It always amused her that her older brother – the big, bad athlete – could fall apart over the same film year after year.

  “Zip it, Harpy. It’s a great movie. Stop trying to ruin it for me.”

  “Here you go, Hart.” Bailey offered him a box of tissue. “We know the emotional roller coaster of a man period…or your meriod, as Harley and I call it. Let it out.”

  Scowling at them, Hart mumbled, “You two suck.”

  It was almost like old times.

  Chapter Five

  When the apartment was quiet and Bailey slept soundly beside her, Harley gritted her teeth against the pains that were growing sharper by the minute.

  To distract herself, she wondered what Beck and Dex were doing for the holidays. Since they were boys, they’d always spent them with the Jamisons.

  Dexter was close to his older adoptive parents but they went to Barbados every Christmas with their friends from college. They celebrated early as a family and spent the rest of his breaks camped out in one of the guest rooms. He told them once that his mom’s friends looked at him funny the older he got.

  Beck’s parents divorced when he was six. They were never emotionally available but alternated years on his birthday and holidays per the divorce agreement. What they lacked in affection, they substituted with cash. Eventually, he asked to be released from their arrangement so he could spend time off with people who wanted him around.

  They were part of the Jamison family. Her romantic involvement with Beck ruined much more than her relationship with both of them. The thought made her feel awful.

  Do not feel sorry for them.

  As if to sympathize with her heart, a particularly strong abdominal pain made her gasp and Bailey sat up in bed.

  “Harley? What’s wrong?” She frowned as she stared at her using the dim light from the window. Reaching out, she flipped on the bedside lamp. “Are you in labor?”

  Panting through the pain, Harley managed to say, “I don’t think so. My water didn’t break.”

  “Shit. I’m getting your mom.”

  Bailey jumped off the bed and slammed through the apartment at a run. There was muffled conversation and in less than a minute, her mother rushed in looking instantly capable. Harley’s sense of relief was a physical thing.

  “Are you feeling sharp pain now?”

  “Yeah but my water didn’t break.” She curled into the fetal position and that seemed to relieve the worst of it.

  “Sometimes it doesn’t, honey.” Regina smoothed Harley’s hair from her face.

  Feeling foolish now, she griped, “Well it always does in the movies!”

  “Ah, yes. The movies…a veritable cornucopia of reality.” She held out her hand and Peter put his watch in it. “Let’s see how much time before another one happens. Darling, you should get dressed.” He nodded, kissed Harley’s temple, and left the room.

  Three minutes later, Harley tensed but didn’t cry out.

  “Honey, how long have you been getting these pains?”

  “Since this morning but it only got bad when I laid down.”

  “Harley Marie Jamison! You’ve been having contractions since this morning?”

  It was never a good sign when her mom used her middle name.

  “I thought it was gas!”

  Regina stood up and started barking orders. “Bailey, get her dressed. Hart!” There was a crash from the other room as Hart fell off the air mattress and hit the coffee table. “Get dressed and go start the car! Your sister is in labor.”

  “Oh, fuck…going!”

  The second her husband appeared at the door to the bedroom, she instructed, “Peter, take Harley’s bag downstairs. We’ll be right behind you.”

  Bailey helped Harley sit up and worked a sweatshirt over her head. “It’s freezing outside. This one time, I’m letting you leave the house looking like a hot mess.”

  Laughing, she slipped her socked feet into lined boots and managed to stand as her mother came back in the room looking as if she’d been dressed and waiting for an hour.

  “Mom, you’re a machine.”

  In a robot voice, Regina said, “Get in the fucking car…”

  “Your mom is such a badass.” Bailey was dressed and had a huge purse over her shoulder. “Let’s hustle, pretty girl because we’re not having that baby here. I don’t even like clipping a hang nail.”

  Another contraction hit on the outside stairs and Harley sat down before she fell. She didn’t know she was whimpering until Hart scooped her up in his arms with soothing words.

  “It’s alright, Harpy. Let’s get you to the hospital.”

  He carefully tucked her into the passenger seat and got behind the wheel. Bailey kept her hands on her shoulders from the backseat.

  There was a sudden gushing between her legs and she groaned. “My water just broke. It’s all over the place.”

  Hart laughed. “At least we’re in a rental, Harpy.”

  “You’re an ass.”

  “I know but you love me anyway.”

  He made it to the hospital in under five minutes and she was glad he’d spent so many years racing like an idiot on Florida back roads. As he braked in front of the emergency room doors and came around to pick her up, she tried to slap him away.

  “I’m gross! Hart!”

  “Shut it, Harley.” Then he picked her up and walked through the sliding doors, depositing her carefully in a wheelchair. Bending until they were eye to eye, he said, “Everything is going to be just fine. You hear me?” She nodded and he winked. “Don’t have that kid before I park the car.”

  The next half an hour was a flurry of activity as they took her back to labor and delivery. By the time they had her changed into a hospital gown and in the bed, she was crying from the contractions that seemed to come right on top of each other.

  A nurse came in with a smile on her face. “I’m just going to see how dilated you are, honey. Don’t worry about any little thing.” Lifting the sheet, Harley watched her eyes widen dramatically before she schooled her features. “Be right back.”

  Regina frowned as the nurse practically ran from the room. She moved to the end of the bed and took a quick peek. Her hand clapped over her heart in shock.

  “The baby’s head is right there!”

  Bailey looked back and forth between them in confusion. “Doesn’t someone need to handle that? Where’s the fucking catcher?” She shoved past the two men who looked like they’d rather be anywhere but in the room and ran to the door. “Hey! Somebody with a medical de
gree want to get their ass in here? Like…fucking now?”

  Through unfamiliar pain, tears that wouldn’t stop, and an unbelievable urge to push, Harley started laughing and couldn’t stop. Only Bailey could be counted on to make her hysterical in the midst of complete and utter chaos.

  Less than two minutes later, Harley laughed her baby into the world.

  After she said hello in amazement, the nurse asked if she knew what she planned to name her.

  Swallowing hard, she whispered, “Yes. Alexis Becka Jamison.”

  “What a pretty name.” Then the kindly older woman took her little girl to do all the medical things they did for newborns.

  It was a beautiful moment, one she would never forget, and she was grateful for the love of her family and her best friend.

  The significance of the name she’d chosen for her daughter didn’t escape any of the people in the room who knew her. She pressed the hospital sheet to her face and sobbed brokenly.

  Hart came to sit beside her and pressed his cheek against hers. He smoothed her hair. “Harley. I’m sorry.” She felt his tears on her shoulder and it made her cry harder.

  Missing her baby’s father like never before, she cried for everything she’d hoped for, everything she’d lost, and accepted her choices.

  Wiping her face, she turned to kiss Hart’s head. “I’m sorry you’re caught in the middle.”

  “Don’t you ever apologize to me, Harley. You didn’t do anything but trust the wrong people to look out for you. I’ll do better.”

  They brought her daughter back, wrapped snugly in blankets with tiny sheep on them. She was smooth and perfect. Her parents and Hart took turns holding her, all of them emotional over the newest member of their family.

  “You’re awful short. If you hope to be as fast as your mom is, you have some serious growing to do.” Leaning closer, her brother whispered, “We’ll shoot hoops as soon as you can stand up, pretty girl. I’m your awesome uncle so don’t listen to any horror stories about me. Not a word of truth in any of them.”