by Janet Gover
‘Well,’ he said. ‘I had better get a move on. I have to … do things.’ He turned on his heel and tried to leave with some vestige of dignity.
Jess watched Adam go, feeling not the slightest bit annoyed at him. In fact, quite the reverse. His generosity and genuine concern for others were an essential part of him. Such an admirable part of him. And, of course, Jess was getting a house full of new furniture. She glanced at the bed, where Nikki was now feeding the baby. It was such a commonplace sight, but one that filled Jess with a storm of emotions.
Her thoughts flew to her own mother, a small and delicate woman who had held her head high every day in that courtroom. In the days following the seizure of the plane, she’d visited Jessica in jail, never flinching as the iron doors clanged shut behind her. She was waiting the day the charges against Jess were dropped and she walked free. Not once had her faith in her daughter wavered. Not one iota. A mother’s love. There was nothing in the world stronger.
Last night Jess had slept more deeply than in a very long time. The voice in her head hadn’t seemed quite so loud. The guilt not quite so overwhelming. Looking at the tiny baby she had helped to bring into the world, Jess wondered if perhaps she had taken another small step towards atoning for the lost lives she was responsible for. It wasn’t enough. It would never be enough, but maybe it was a start.
Jess said a hasty goodbye to Nikki, who was so involved with her baby that she barely saw her go. As she left the hospital she saw Sister Luke approaching from the direction of the car park. Jess was eager to share her experiences.
‘Sister Luke, it’s good to have you back. Did you hear the news? Nikki had a baby girl.’
‘Did she? And they are both well?’
‘Yes. I helped Adam deliver the baby. It was an amazing experience …’ Jess’s voice trailed off. ‘Are you all right, Sister Luke?’
‘Of course, Jess. I’m just a little tired after the long trip, that’s all.’
Jess wasn’t so sure. Sister Luke looked … smaller. And older. Like someone who had lost a loved one. Or been given bad news. ‘How did everything go?’ Jess asked cautiously. ‘At … what do you call it, the mother house? They’re not taking you away from us, are they?’
‘No. They aren’t.’ Sister Luke smiled slowly. ‘It’s not like you think. The order always does the best it can for the Sisters. They wouldn’t take me away from somewhere I was needed and where I still had work to do.’
‘That’s good,’ Jess said. ‘Because we do need you. I mean, helping Adam deliver the baby was just the most wonderful experience. But I’m not a nurse. We really do need you.’
A shadow crossed Sister Luke’s face, just for a moment. Then the older woman smiled. ‘How did you find working with Adam?’
‘It really was quite something. He was so good with Nikki. And with Steve, too. He said it’s his favourite part of being a doctor.’ As she spoke, Jess could feel just the smallest glow deep inside her. Small – but fierce and Adam was its cause.
‘It is a wonderful thing to bring a new life into the world,’ Sister Luke mused. ‘One day it will be your turn.’
‘I don’t know about that,’ Jessica said. With the turmoil of her life these past few months that sort of a future had been far out of reach.
‘You should think about it,’ Sister Luke said. ‘Now I’d best go and meet the new arrival.’
‘They’re in that really nice room with the bed from my house.’
‘I was wondering when you’d find out about that.’
‘I should have guessed that was what he would do with the furniture,’ Jess said. ‘It’s all right. He was just being generous.’
‘He was just being Adam,’ Sister Luke said, a whole world of affection in her voice.
‘And I’m getting all new furniture now,’ Jess said. ‘Or I will when I move in.’
‘When is that likely to be?’
‘Soon, I hope. Jack and Ellen say it’s almost ready.’
‘I guess you’ll be happy to get out of the pub,’ Sister Luke said. ‘The Warrens are lovely people – but that’s not a home.’ With that Sister Luke started towards the hospital steps. She hadn’t gone far when she stopped and turned back. ‘Jess, I’m glad you were here when Adam needed you,’ she said.
‘So am I,’ Jess said. ‘But I’m glad you’re back, Sister Luke. He needs you more than he needs me.’
‘I wouldn’t be so sure about that,’ Sister Luke said, so quietly Jess barely heard her.
Jess watched Sister Luke climb the stairs onto the wide cool veranda. There were only a few steps, but it almost seemed too much for her. Her thin fingers gripped the handrail as if she was afraid of falling. Jess felt she should step forward to help her. She wondered again how old the nun really was.
Jess walked down the side of the hospital building towards the house that should soon be her new home. As she did, Sister Luke’s words played through her mind. When she was with Brian she had assumed marriage and a family somewhere in their future. That had been ripped away along with so much else. But she still wanted that future. She stopped walking and closed her eyes, thinking back two days to a hospital room and the start of a new life. She tried to put herself in that image. Tried to see herself as a mother. And by her side … in the role of father?
No! That was crazy, she thought. Not Adam. That was never going to happen. Look at the distance he kept between them. She could still see the look on his face that one time she had touched him. He’d flinched away as if she were poison. That said it all.
The front door of her new home wasn’t locked. She had a feeling it seldom was. There was no sign of Jack or Ellen, but the fruit of their joint labours was everywhere to be seen.
Every room sported a new coat of paint. The polished wood floors gleamed in the sunlight. The front room boasted a pair of big comfortable looking armchairs, and a sofa Jess guessed she could sleep on. It was certainly long enough. Walking through to the kitchen, Jess smiled as she saw the new fridge and stove. The cupboards were bare, but each was spotlessly clean. So was the en suite bathroom attached to the master bedroom. The enormous double bed looked just as comfortable as the one that Adam had purloined for use at the hospital. Walking through to the bright family room at the rear of the house, Jess saw the dining table and chairs – big enough for a family. She wouldn’t be needing that, or the bed in the spare room. The third bedroom was empty. That made sense. She had no use for that either. It would make a good storeroom. But for what? She had brought so few things with her. She was going to have to go shopping just for pots and pans and knives and forks. Not that she would need many of those, living alone.
Jess left the house not feeling as cheered by it as she had hoped. She would have to check with Jack, but she guessed she could move in tomorrow. It wouldn’t take long to buy the few things she needed. It would be good to have her own place. To have the privacy she lacked at the pub. Sometimes, when the nightmares woke her in the middle of the night, she wondered if Ellen, sleeping just across the hall, had heard her. She hoped not. It was pretty clear to her that Ellen had problems enough of her own. Life couldn’t be easy for a single mum with two kids.
As she started walking back towards the pub, Jess’s thoughts again turned to her own family. Her parents had opened their arms and their home to Jess when she was released from prison. Jess could still see her mother, all five foot nothing of her, standing on the top step, threatening the journalists camped outside the house. Jess had never doubted that her mother would have been after them with the fire irons if they had given her sufficient reason. Her mother hadn’t wanted to see her daughter travel so far away. But staying away was the best thing Jess could do for them right now. Maybe, when enough time had passed, she could go back without dragging the media circus with her. In the meantime, phone calls and e-mails would have to do. In fact, she’d gi
ve her mother a call tonight!
Jess walked through the pub’s back door into the rear lounge bar. The door to the kitchen was open and she could hear Trish Warren’s voice inside. As she approached, the words slowly began to make sense.
‘I hope you know what you are doing, Jack North!’ This did not sound like the kind and gentle woman she knew. Trish sounded almost threatening. She was reminded again of her mother on the steps, facing down the reporters.
‘I’m not doing anything,’ Jack replied.
‘I hope not. That poor woman and those two kids have been through enough. They don’t need any more hurt in their lives.’
‘I’d never hurt her.’ Jack sounded outraged. ‘I’m not that bastard, whoever he was. I would never hit a woman.’
‘That’s not the only way to hurt someone,’ Trish told him. ‘She’s vulnerable, Jack. Be a friend to her. That’s all you can be right now.’
Jess didn’t hear Jack’s softly-spoken response. She hesitated for a moment as the impact of the words began to strike her. She had already come to suspect that Ellen had feelings for Jack. It seemed those feelings might well be returned. She was happy for Ellen, but determined to stay well out of their business. She was hardly qualified to give Ellen or anyone else romantic advice.
After a few seconds, Jess pushed a chair noisily into place under one of the tables. By the time she reached the kitchen, Trish and Jack’s conversation had turned to that old outback standard – the weather.
‘Hey, Jack,’ Jess said. ‘I was wondering when I can move into the house?’
‘It’s done,’ Jack said. ‘That’s why I came by. To give you these.’ He held out a set of keys.
‘But I was just there,’ Jess said, as she took them. ‘The house isn’t locked.’
‘No reason to just yet,’ Jack said. ‘But if you’re going to Birdsville and leaving your stuff there, you’ll want to lock it.’
That was true enough.
‘By the way,’ Trish said, ‘there’s some stuff there. Cutlery, plates and so on. To help you get started.’
Jess glanced at the big box sitting on the kitchen bench. There was an awful lot of ‘stuff’ in it. ‘Trish. Are you sure you can spare it? There’s enough there for a whole family. I don’t need that much.’
‘Oh, you never know when you might have people drop by …’ Trish’s response was interrupted by a clatter of footsteps as Harry and Bethany ran into the kitchen, demanding cookies and milk.
‘Where are your manners – say “please”.’ Their mother was following close behind. She was dressed for another night’s work.
‘Ellen, do you need me to watch the kids?’ Jess asked. She had spent a pleasant evening playing games with them the night before, and suddenly realised that another similar evening wouldn’t be a trial.
‘Thanks, Jess,’ Ellen said. ‘But my babysitter is feeling better and she’ll be here soon. I couldn’t ask you to do it another night. Although I think the kids would prefer you.’
‘Can Jack stay with us?’ Harry asked.
‘I promised your mum I’d drive her to her work,’ Jack said, kneeling down next to Harry. ‘Remember we talked about looking after girls?’
Harry nodded, his face becoming very serious.
‘Well, I’m helping your mum. Is that all right by you?’
Harry nodded, then the grin came back and he turned his attention once more to the cookies.
‘Jack, you don’t have to drive me,’ Ellen said. ‘I can walk. Honestly.’
‘I’m going that way,’ Jack said casually, ‘and I thought I might try some more of your cooking.’
Jess caught both the slight flush that rose to Ellen’s cheeks, and the warning look that Trish cast at Jack. There it was again, she thought. That maternal instinct to protect. That’s what she’d felt when she held Nikki’s baby. She’d felt a bit of it while babysitting Harry and Bethany. She saw it in Ellen too, as she struggled to cope with two kids, living in a pub and a new job that must barely pay the cost of her room.
While she, with her good job and healthy bank balance, had a free house. A house big enough for …
Of course. It made so much sense.
‘Ellen,’ she said. ‘Jack tells me the house is finished.’
Ellen looked a bit startled by the sudden change in topic.
‘It is, but if there is anything else needs doing … Jack has been generous in paying me, so I’m happy to come back and do some more.’
‘I do want you to come back. But not to clean. Tomorrow, I’m moving in – and so are you and the kids.’
‘What!’ Ellen looked shocked.
‘It’s perfect,’ said Jess. ‘I’ve got more space than I could possibly use – and it’s free.’
‘I couldn’t possibly ask you—’
‘You didn’t,’ Jess said. ‘I offered.’
‘But … the kids? You don’t want them under your feet all the time.’
‘Well, actually …’ Jess turned to look at Harry and Bethany who had stopped eating and were watching the adults closely. ‘I think we’d do all right.’
‘I … I don’t know what to say.’ Ellen’s eyes shone with unshed tears. ‘This is just too generous of you. You are too kind.’
‘No, I’m not,’ Jess said. She could have said she was just beginning to realise she was lonely. She could have said she was trying to find atonement. Instead she said, ‘We’ll be helping each other out. Besides, I want a chance to taste that cooking of yours and I’m not going to The Mineside.’
‘Speaking of which, I’ll just grab my things. And … thank you.’ Ellen gave Jess a quick hug and darted from the room.
‘Well, Jack. Any chance you’ll be able to find some furniture for the kids’ rooms?’ Jess asked.
A long slow grin spread over Jack’s face. ‘You know. I just so happen to know somewhere I can lay my hands on a couple of small beds.’
Suspicion forming in her mind, Jess took another good look in the box of kitchen goods Trish had prepared. Enough for a family indeed!
Jess looked at the two beaming adults, suspicion turning to certainty.
‘We were wondering if the two of you were ever going to sort it out for yourselves,’ Trish said.
Chapter Thirteen
It seemed as if half the town wanted to be involved in Jess and Ellen’s moving day.
Jack led the pack, with his dusty ute. The owner of the hardware store, a big ruddy-cheeked man Jess hadn’t met before, suddenly appeared with two child-sized beds in the back of his truck. Smiling broadly, he dismissed questions about where the beds had come from, or who might be paying for them. Jack and Adam carried them into the large spare room and set about assembling them with screwdrivers and spanners.
Trish Warren was there with her box of kitchenware and a generous supply of food for the helpers. She and Ellen were in charge of the kitchen. Jess was happy to let that happen. She suspected Ellen was going to be doing a lot of the cooking in their new household, and she was fine with that.
Sister Luke arrived with a box of children’s books. A house, she declared, was not a home if there were no books. And kids’ books were the most important books of all. She didn’t waste any time in enlisting Jack’s support. She seemed pleased when he offered to build the kids some bookshelves, just as soon as he could ‘borrow’ some suitable wood from the carpenter’s shop at the mine.
Looking at the elderly nun’s face, Jess felt a twinge of concern. Sister Luke still looked tired. A few minutes later, Jess carried a box through to the main bedroom to find Sister Luke leaning against the bathroom door, her eyes closed as if she were in pain.
‘Sister Luke. Are you all right?’ Jess dropped her load and hurried to the older woman’s side.
‘I’m fine.’ Sister Luke brus
hed aside her concern. ‘Just a little tired, that’s all.’
‘Are you sure? Do you want me to get Adam?’
‘No. No. I don’t want to worry him. I’m fine. Honestly.’ Sister Luke smiled and took a deep breath as if mustering her strength. ‘So, how do you like your new home? It’s starting to look rather good isn’t it?’
‘Yes,’ Jess agreed. ‘It’s nice of everyone to help out like this.’
‘That’s Coorah Creek for you,’ Sister Luke said. ‘It’s that kind of town. Everyone helps everyone.’
‘Just make sure you don’t help too much,’ Jess admonished.
‘I will be fine.’ Together they walked back through into the bustling living room to find two new additions to the crowd.
Nikki and Steve had walked over from the hospital, their baby girl in their arms. They were about to go home, they said, but first they wanted to present Jess with a huge bunch of flowers. Steve, it turned out, was quite the gardener, coaxing the dry red earth to produce flowers that had graced many special occasions in the town.
‘You didn’t have to do this,’ Jess said, as she took the bouquet of red, gold and yellow blooms.
‘To say thank you,’ Nikki said.
‘I didn’t do anything,’ Jess replied, as she gently stroked the baby’s tiny hand. ‘It was Adam. All I did was stand there.’
‘Having you there was such a help,’ Nikki said, the suggestion of tears in her eyes.
‘And besides,’ Jack said, as he walked past, a cheerful grin on his face. ‘No one in their right mind is going to give flowers to the doc.’
Steve and Nikki stayed long enough to proudly show their new baby to everyone. It wasn’t long before Ellen and Nikki were swapping baby stories and making offers of babysitting for each other.
Meanwhile, Jess found herself with flowers and nowhere to put them. Adam sent her to the hospital where she found an old vase. She was carrying it back to the house when a small blue sedan pulled up next to her gate. It wasn’t shiny and new, but did show signs of having recently been given a wash – if not a polish. A thin, sour looking man got out.