A Fine Kettle of Fish

by Lou Bradshaw

  “It does seem a little peculiar doesn’t it?” I said in reply. “Actually, I’m pretty confused myself.”

  “Yeah.” she said with a smile, “I’m so confused I’m going to sit down and eat those damned things.” We sat down at the table and began our feast.

  “Peg ‘o My Heart, how did you know I was up here?”

  “I was thinking of you and wanted to see you – God only knows why – and since you didn’t call me, I called you. I know…I know it’s not done that way, but I did it anyway. Your sister, Nan, said you were up here, and if I were dumb enough to come up here I’d find you alone because you have no friends, and, besides, that they are all out of town for the weekend.”

  ‘Will I like her…Nan? If I ever meet her?” she asked.

  “Oh probably, most everyone does which is beyond me, as to why.”

  “So, here I am,” she said as she tried to use a plastic fork to cut something hard and burnt, “doing something that I wouldn’t have dreamed of doing a month ago.”

  “Which is?”

  “Chasing after some hillbilly country boy.”

  “Town boy,” I told her, “there is a difference you know.”

  “Not to me. You’re sitting in a frontier cabin in the middle of nowhere, and that’s country as I see it.”

  “Okay, I’ll give you that point, but I’m no hillbilly. I’m just sort of semi-couth, that’s all.”

  “Marginal difference, but I’ll take my point and give you that one.”

  “You’re tough, Maxwell,” I told her, “and as far as who is chasing after who or rather whom… see, a hillbilly would never ever say whom. I’d have been after you like a bloodhound, but this past week was all 12 to 15 hour days because of the Labor Day rush.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know, otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten here so early. Do you want to go back to sleep?”

  “Nope, I was already up when you got here. Had a great night’s sleep, and I’m ready to play. How long can you stay?”

  “Till Tuesday, but I’m not chasing that hard.” she said.

  We spent the cool of the morning walking around the place, much the same as I’d done the day before. We spotted a couple of deer and a wild turkey. I showed her where the deer had been sleeping and what poison ivy looked like. We watched a spider spin a web; I don’t think she had ever thought of a spider as anything but a disreputable bug before. I told her of my plans to buy the place and live there. She seemed impressed. When we went back up to the cabin I showed her what I had in mind for renovations. I told her, “Almost everything will have to be rebuilt and modernized, except the fireplace.” She agreed that the fireplace shouldn’t be touched.

  I showed her some of my sketches and watercolors. She was really impressed then. “I had no idea,” she said, that you had this kind of talent. These are so delicate and intricate.” I was grinning and blushing like a village idiot who had just been knighted by a princess.

  “Not too shabby for a hillbilly country boy.” I said.

  “Semi-couth town boy.” she replied, “There is a difference you know.”

  By that time, the sun was plenty warm outside, and we were ready for the water. I waited outside while she changed, and the change was worth the wait. Then down to the river we strolled, hand in hand like a couple of kids – which we were. We waded around for a while, then threw an old blanket on the grass, and soaked up some late summer sunshine.

  After a while, I walked up to the cabin to bring down our lunch. Fortunately, she had brought some cold cuts and cheeses. Lunch wouldn’t be as elegant as breakfast, but few things could be. I went ahead and drove my car down so that we could keep the beer in the trunk – just in case of visitors. We had visitors all right, but not any that I expected. Up the lane came a new Plymouth 4 door sedan; a real old guy type of car. When it got closer and I was able to recognize the occupants, I said, “Oh-oh, revenuers! And me without my shootin’ iron.”

  Peggy gave me a glance, and I could see the concern on her face, she said, “Lee?”

  “It’s okay.” I told her. “I’ll get rid of them.” And I got up to go head off the Missouri State Police and the Federal Bureau of Investigation. They got out of the old guy car, and we walked off a little way – out of earshot.

  “What’s up?” I asked.

  “We just wanted to let you know that this Dickey fella has left town again.” Agent Fletcher told me. “Ted got it from one of the local cops that he broke into a hardware store and stole some money, a couple of guns and ammo then he cleaned out Granny’s cookie jar before stealing a car and taking off for parts unknown.”

  Junior picked it up from there with, “They tell me that the chief is hoppin’ mad, and says he’ll horsewhip Dickey if he ever catches him.”

  Fletcher wanted me to go over everything I could remember about my run in with Lloyd, especially about the 2 guys who were supposed to be feedin’ the catfish. I told him everything I could scrape out of my memory, but there just wasn’t much to tell.

  “We’ve got Memphis working on it. There are rumors of a couple of freelancers trying to boost a little from the established players. They’ll be draggin’ the river tomorrow.”

  “Say, who’s the girl?” Fletcher asked. “She’s way out of your league, LeeRoy.”

  “That’s what she keeps telling me – Peggy Maxwell from Springfield. Not too bad, huh?” They both agreed that she was pretty classy and that I was reaching for the moon. I knew that they were having fun with me, so I didn’t take offense. I took pride in the fact that they were duly impressed.

  “How’d you find this place?” I asked.

  “I’m a highway cop.” Junior replied. “I make it my business to know every cow path and lane in my sector. If I’m chasin’ someone, I want to have a pretty good idea where the road leads and what’s at the end of it. When you mentioned the cabin I looked it up.”

  “Say,” I said, “Luther Bates hasn’t been around since before the wreck. Any idea what happened to him?”

  Bradley looked at Fletcher and the G-Man answered my question. “Not a peep, kid. He just plain vanished. Chances are things got hot, and he took off – could be anywhere from Seattle to Miami. We don’t have the manpower to track him down, but we have a bulletin out on him, but that’s about all we can do for now.”

  They got back in that grandpa car and left. When they were about half way to the road I raised my fist and yelled, “And don’t come snoopin’ around here again, ya dad burned revenuers.”

  Peggy was looking at me rather anxiously and a little worried when I got back to the blanket, and I wasn’t sure what I would tell her.

  “Lee, are you in some kind of trouble with the… law?” she asked.

  “No, why?”

  “Because the driver was Tom Fletcher; he’s an FBI agent. He was in my office last fall for about a week; going over somebody’s investments for a fraud case.”

  “No, I’m not in trouble with the Feds.” I tried to assure her. “Actually, I’m giving them a little bit of help with something. The other guy is a State Trooper, and that’s about all I can say for now. Except, that I’m one of the right sorts in this deal.”

  “There you are; you have people following you at night, you’re mixed up with the FBI and the state police, you greet people at the door with a gun, and you want to live in a cabin. You watch birds and deer, you do lovely artwork, and you’re a lousy cook. I like things well organized with little labels on them. I couldn’t afford to buy enough labels to get you categorized.”

  I leaned over and kissed her, and she responded with those very soft lips, then I told her, “There’s nothing complicated about me, I’m just a good guy who goes about his own business, and circumstances happen all around him. Just a guy who wakes up every morning expecting a certain degree of potential from that day, sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t.”

  “By the way,” I went on, “both the FBI and the Missouri Highway Patrol think you’re prett
y cute and too good for me.”

  “Don’t change the subject. I’m not through trying to figure you out.”

  “What’s to figure out? I’m just like all the other extremely handsome, rich executive playboys you meet every day. Furthermore, I’m not the mystery person here – you are. I know all I want to know about me. It’s you I want to get to know better.”

  “What would you like to know?”

  “Well, for one thing I’d like to know how you got those lips so soft and sweet?” With that she gave me another taste and pressed up against me so warm and soft and, and, and…whew! My head was spinning, probably because there wasn’t any oxygen being carried to it at that moment.

  “Whoa!” she gasped. “I think it’s time for lunch…sorry about that… I promised myself to take you in small doses, so I can’t be starting things. My fault. You ready to eat?”

  “I can always eat as long as I have desert to look forward to.”

  “There goes another label,” she said, “one that says ‘CAREFULL HANDLING REQUIRED’.”

  For some unexplained reason I didn’t get the same impression that I always got from Cynthia. This wasn’t a build up and shut down for control. I had the feeling that she shut it down before it could get started because I think she was liking it as much as I was.

  A ham and cheese sandwich wasn’t a really great substitute, but it would have to do for the time being.

  We talked while we ate, and I found out that she worked in the securities department at her bank, I already knew that she was going to Southwest at night, studying business. Her well ordered plan was to graduate in 5 years, work in the Investment field, with an ultimate goal of becoming a stockbroker. She figured that with summer school and carrying a maximum night school load, that she could do it.

  Her grandfather had been a stockbroker he’d been wiped out in ’29, and had wound up working for Sears selling tires. He had talked stocks and bonds to her ever since she was a toddler. She knew how to read a ticker tape and had tracked a number of stocks since the 8th grade. Playing the market wasn’t feasible at the present, but that would change in due time.

  While she talked I realized that most of the girls I knew wanted to BE something. Only a few had ideas of getting married and staying home, the rest all seemed to have careers in mind. I wondered if that was the wave of the future, or just a passing trend. I wondered how would men deal with that, and what effect would it have on the children – would there be any children?

  We talked for a good long time, and it was amazing that I could just listen to her and not try to take over the conversation. I was really listening – like as in hearing, and not just thinking ahead for my own comments or comebacks. She was very easy to be with. A stockbroker – well I’ll be damned!

  * * *

  Along about mid afternoon, I saw Brick’s Dodge coming up the lane. Peggy was craning her neck looking at the car trying to see if it was anyone she knew, even though she wouldn’t know very many of the people who would come up that lane.

  “Who is it, Lee? Do you know them?”

  “Yeah,” I said, “it’s worse than the revenuers. It’s my boss, his wife, and their bratty kid.”

  Chapter 28

  She continued watching the car approach for a few more seconds, then said, “But don’t you work for your… Oh dear.” There was that sudden realization, and she started looking for a cover up. She grabbed my T-shirt and pulled it over her bikini – what a shame, but that was one happy T-shirt.

  Brick pulled up near my car, they all got out, and came toward us. We got up and went to greet them. I could feel Peggy’s nails digging into my arm. I made the introductions. “Everyone, this is Peggy Maxwell, be nice to her for a little while. Okay? This is Brick, my Dad. Brick is all I know, I don’t think he has any other name.”

  “It’s a pleasure, Miss Peggy.” he said as he took her hand.

  “And this is my Mom, Della. Mom, Peggy is an almost girlfriend, a potential daughter-in-law, and the possible mother of your grandchildren.”

  “Lee!” Peggy scolded as she really dug her nails into my arm.

  “Lee Roy Brickey.” Mom said. “Behave yourself. You’re embarrassing her. Don’t mind him, honey, he gets that from his father’s side of the family, and it’s very nice to meet you dear.”

  “And last but least this is the most highly spoiled child in Southwest Missouri, my sister, Nancy, but you can call her Brat.”

  “I will not! I’ll call her whatever she wants to be called.”

  “I’d like to be called gorgeous, but everybody calls me Nan, and that’s fine. I see you didn’t heed my advice. Oh well, to each her own.”

  “We need to talk about your telephone manners.” I told her.

  “I’m sorry, Peggy – is that short for Margaret – but they’re both too old to spank. I just can’t do a thing with them.”

  “Oh I have an older sister, so I’m used to it, and yes, Margaret is my real name.”

  Now how in God’s name did Mom know that? I didn’t know that, and I’m the big nickname guy in these parts. Sometimes you just have to be impressed – I was.

  Like most good well-adjusted mothers, Mom brought a basket of food to ward off starvation. When I told her that we had just eaten a little while ago, she said that it would keep for our supper. Peggy, or was it Margaret, seemed to be getting comfortable. She and Nan clicked, and that was not a good sign for my own comfort and well-being.

  After a little small talk, Brick said to Peggy, “If you and Nancy will excuse us, Lee Roy, his mother, and I have some family business to discuss. We’ll just go up to the cabin.”

  I tried to read his expression, but got no inkling at all, so there was nothing to do but go along and see what was up. As we started walking up the hill, I turned and called out to Nan, “Watch what you tell her, okay? I just met this girl this morning, and I don’t want you scaring her off.”

  I heard, “Lump it!” as we walked off.

  Fortunately, Peggy had made sure that we cleaned up our breakfast mess, so everything was in as good a shape as it had ever been.

  When we got inside Mom said, “She’s cute, how’d you meet her, do you like her?”

  “She is that – Mack introduced us – she was too good for him – I think so – how come you always ask at least 2 questions at once?”

  She chuckled and said, “No I don’t. Do I? Really?”

  We sat down at the table; Mom and I waited for Brick to start since it seemed to be his show. Actually, Mom was fine, but I was a bit nervous. He spread his hands on the table palms down and said, “Here’s the deal. You stay and work at the sign business, for the next 4 years and most importantly – graduate.Then we will give you this place and the 50 acres that go with it as a graduation present.”

  “I’m assuming that the business will be successful. From the way it started off I can’t imagine that it wouldn’t. If not, then the deal holds for station work. The key is to graduate.”

  For one of the few times in my life, I was speechless – I just couldn’t believe it. “Hell yes!” I was shouting to myself. Finally, I was able to speak out loud and said, “You know of course you don’t have to do that. I was going to stay anyway. Ooops! Too late, you can’t back out now – it’s a deal. See, I’ve already accepted. Yes! Yes! Yes!” I looked at them and they were beaming, and I suppose that I was glowing a little bit myself.

  “But what about Curtis and Nan; they should have some claim to the place?”

  Mom took my hand and said, “That’s very thoughtful, but don’t you worry about them. Curtis had his heart set on going to St. Louis University, which cost a lot more than we have invested in this place. Besides, he never cared about it like you do, and he was never comfortable in your father’s business.”

  “Nancy will be taken care of when her time comes.” Brick added, “We’ll have to wait and see what’s in her mind at the time. She already knows about it and she agrees with it.”

  Mom
took over again, “You will have to allow your sister pretty much free use of the river; just like she has now. I don’t think she’ll bother you much, except in the summer.”

  “When can I move in?”

  “As soon as you can make it livable, and it has your mothers approval. That would mean power and heat – that sort of thing.” Brick started thinking out loud. “Actually, you could probably get your wiring in and use a generator for no more power than you would need for a while. A good 2-way radio would work until you could get a phone line in. I believe there’s power and phone lines within a half a mile as the crow flies,” he went on, “but it would be costly. They wouldn’t run the lines that far for just one customer.”

  I told them how I wanted to fix it up, and about the spring I’d found close by. We all agreed that there was a lot of work to be done, and that I’d be lucky to move in by next summer. I got the lecture from Brick. “School first, job second, then work on the cabin, and maybe a little bit of social life… maybe.”

  When we went back down to the river I could hear Peggy laughing, and I knew it was at my expense, but I didn’t care. My sister could abuse me all she wanted today. She’d pay for it tomorrow, but today she had a free ride.

  When the Brickeys left, Peggy and I sat there not talking for a few minutes, just watching the river run by. Finally, she broke the silence with, “Yep, I like her.”

  “Who?”

  “Nan – boy did she ever give me the low down on you.”

  “Yeah, I can well imagine… Don’t you want to know what all of that was about?”

  “No,” she kind of whispered, unconvincingly, “yes, but it’s none of my business, but yes, I am curious. Yes dammit!”

  “They’re giving me this place… the cabin, the land, the rocks, the trees, and the river! All I have to do is keep on doing what I’m doing and graduate. Then I get the deed for graduation. How about them apples?”

  “You are kidding aren’t you?” She cried. “You have just got to be kidding!”