The Lie
Page 2
Pause.
Alice? Promise me?
Alice No.
Pause. Blackout.
Two
Alice, Paul, Laurence and Michel are in the living room. Paul has a bottle in his hand. He’s offering Michel a glass of wine.
Paul Michel?
Michel No, thanks.
Paul You don’t want any?
Michel It’s good of you, but no.
Paul Sure? Not even a little taste.
Michel Not even that. Thanks.
Paul (piqued) That’s a shame. As you’re such a great wine-lover.
Michel Actually, I’m not drinking, I’m trying to hold out for a month.
Paul Oh? How many days to go?
Michel Thirty. I started yesterday.
Paul Ah, yes, I see … It’s just it’s a very good wine. So it’s a shame.
Michel I know. But what can you do? I have to pay attention to these things.
Laurence Michel believes he has to lose several kilos. And the world turns upside-down.
Paul I haven’t had time to decant it, but I think you’ll like it. Look … Château Lafite!
Michel No, really, it’s lovely of you, but I prefer not to make any exceptions.
Paul Just as you like. Laurence, would you …?
Laurence (displaying some hesitation) I … Yes, I … Thanks.
Alice Unless you’d prefer a glass of champagne?
Black look from Paul.
Laurence Oh, maybe I would. Would I?
Alice Would you like some champagne?
Laurence I don’t want you to have to open a bottle specially for me.
Alice There’s one in the fridge.
Laurence No, that’s fine, a drop of wine …
Paul It’s a very good wine recommended by my wine merchant. He’s a splendid chap. Very civilised.
Michel Really?
Paul Yes. Château Lafite.
Alice We’ll drink it later, Paul. With the rabbit. All right? For our aperitif, let’s open the champagne. That’ll be more festive. I’ll go and fetch a bottle.
Laurence I’ll come with you.
Laurence gets up.
Paul No, wait a minute.
Laurence What?
He doesn’t want Alice and Laurence to be alone together in the kitchen.
Paul (to Alice) Why do you need to go together?
Alice Sorry?
Paul I’ll come with you.
Alice What are you talking about? It doesn’t need three of us.
Paul You’re right. So you stay here, darling. Come on, Laurence …
Laurence No, it’s all right, I’ll go. Is it in the fridge?
Paul No.
Brief pause.
You’re our guest. You’re not to move. Alice, do you know where it is?
Alice Yes.
Paul Then would you be so good as to go and fetch it?
Alice I’m going.
Paul Thanks. That’s lovely.
Alice goes out.
There we are. She’ll be back in a minute.
Michel What’s the matter with you, old man?
Paul Me?
Michel Yes. Are you all right? You seem a little tense.
Paul Not at all. What makes you say that? Everything’s fine. On the contrary. The thing is, no, I meant to tell you …
He checks to see that Alice isn’t able to hear him.
Well. Alice has to present her project tomorrow morning.
Laurence Tomorrow? Already?
Paul Yes. In front of the whole commission. It’s an important presentation. She’s been working on it for weeks and weeks.
Laurence Yes, I know.
Paul So, there we are, now you know what’s going on. You understand the context. Don’t hold it against her if she’s a little bit, what, yes, tense this evening …
Alice returns.
Alice What were you saying?
Paul Me? Nothing. I was telling Laurence that … that she looks magnificent in that dress.
Laurence Stop it … No, he was telling us that you have your presentation tomorrow. You should have told us. Perhaps this dinner party’s not come at a a very good time for you.
Alice No, no. Please don’t worry.
A penetrating look at Paul.
Otherwise, you can be sure we’d have cancelled it.
Paul (as if stating the obvious) Yes.
Alice Laurence, can I pour you a glass?
Laurence I’d love one.
Paul Wait, listen, I’ll do it …
Alice Funny, I was thinking the same thing just now. About your dress.
Laurence You were?
Alice Yes. It is magnificent!
Laurence Thank you. Michel found it for me.
Alice You go shopping now, do you?
Michel It happens. Not very often, but it happens.
Paul Laurence …
He hands her a glass of champagne.
Alice Whereabouts?
Michel Sorry?
Alice When you go shopping, where do you go? Galeries Lafayette? Rue des Mathurins …? Not the rue Tronchet side, no, the other side, by the church … Somewhere like that?
Michel Not particularly. No. It depends. Why?
Alice No reason.
Paul hands Alice a glass.
Paul Here you are, darling. Michel, can I get you something? A glass of water … Fruit juice? Anything?
Michel Nothing, thanks. I’m fine.
Paul (to Michel) How are things?
Michel Good.
Laurence He never stops working.
Alice Poor thing.
Paul Published any good books lately?
Alice That reminds me, Michel, I was wondering … When someone hands in a really bad manuscript …
Michel Yes?
Alice Which must happen?
Michel Daily.
Alice What do you say to the author?
Michel I simply tell him I’m not going to publish it. Why?
Alice But if he’s a friend of yours. If he’s a close friend … Do you tell him the truth?
Paul Alice …
Alice What?
Paul Don’t start this again.
Alice I was just wondering. It’s interesting, don’t you think?
Michel If he’s a close friend and his book is particularly bad, I soften the blow a bit, certainly.
Paul Obviously. You can’t just brutally say: ‘By the way, old boy, your book is dogshit.’
Michel (amused) No.
Alice So you agree with Paul?
Michel What about?
Alice Paul thinks telling a lie is a sign of friendship.
Paul I didn’t say that. I said that in certain cases, not telling the truth can actually be motivated by a kind impulse of a friendly nature.
Michel Yes. It’s called ‘tact’. Isn’t it?
Paul That’s it. That’s the exact word. ‘Tact’. Forgive me for being tactful, Alice.
Alice So you don’t always tell your friends the truth?
Michel Why are you asking me these questions?
Paul (a diversionary tactic) Michel, are you sure you wouldn’t like a glass of water or something? Or a peanut? No one’s touched them. I could take it personally. So, really: no one’s tempted by the peanuts?
Brief pause.
Michel What’s your point?
Alice The other day I found myself in a slightly similar situation, as it happens. A kind of moral dilemma. And I thought to myself you might be able to throw some light on it. Because I have no idea what to do.
Laurence What are the circumstances?
Alice I was walking down the street, or to be absolutely precise, I was in a taxi, when I suddenly …
Paul Alice …
Alice What?
Paul Nothing. It’s just they’re not interested.
Alice Why do you say that?
Paul Because. They’re not interested. Are you interested? See. They’re not interested.
Paul You’re not! I mean, I take taxis! So does he! Frankly, there’s nothing out of the ordinary about taking taxis. Let’s change the subject. Shall we? I mean, tell me how your agency is doing, all that sort of thing. Is it going well?
Laurence Yes, thanks. But Alice was telling us something …
Alice (to Paul) Anyway, shouldn’t you go and check the dinner?
Paul What dinner?
Alice What dinner do you think?
He checks his watch.
Paul No, no. It’s fine.
Alice Are you sure?
Michel What are you cooking?
Laurence (to Michel) But Alice was in the middle of telling us something, Michel …
Michel Yes, sorry.
Alice Thank you, Laurence.
Paul (to Michel) Rabbit.
Alice gives Paul a black look, which forces him to justify himself.
I was just answering Michel’s question.
Alice Anyway, I was saying … I was in this taxi and all of a sudden I saw the husband of one of my friends kissing another woman.
Paul (faking incredulity) No!
Laurence The husband of one of your friends?
Alice Yes.
Paul Well, that’s what you thought. You’ve always been short-sighted. Maybe you made a mistake. You’re always mixing people up. Not to mention the fact that every one of us is supposed to have a double somewhere. Did you not know that? It’s been proved. Scientifically. Listen, the other day, someone stopped me in the street and said: ‘Hello, Patrick, how are you doing?’
Everyone is looking at Paul, amazed by his outburst. Pause.
Laurence And then?
Alice I just came upon him with this girl.
Laurence But he didn’t see you.
Alice No. I passed by in a taxi and he didn’t see me. But I saw him. I recognised him. Right away I called my friend to find out, you know, how she was, and I realised she had no idea what was going on.
Laurence Poor thing.
Michel And you were wondering if you ought to tell her what you’d seen?
Alice That’s right.
Laurence Who was it? Do I know her?
Alice Mm?
Laurence Don’t tell me it was Sylvie!
Paul Yes, it was.
Laurence It was Sylvie? I knew she hadn’t been getting on with Matthieu.
Alice No, no, it wasn’t Sylvie.
Paul It was, it was Sylvie!
Alice I’ve just said it wasn’t.
Paul Wasn’t it? I thought it was. Wasn’t it Sylvie? Oh. That’s what I thought. My mistake.
Laurence So who was it? Do I know her?
Brief pause.
Go on, you can tell me …
Paul No, you don’t know her. She’s a friend … a friend of the family. On my mother’s side. By marriage. I mean, it’s one of our friends you don’t know.
Alice Anyway, she has no idea her husband is cheating on her. And I’m wondering what I ought to do.
Paul What a question! You mustn’t say anything to her! You’d just cause her a lot of pointless suffering …
Alice We know what you think, Paul.
Paul And you’re not interested, yes, I know. But all the same, I would like to add, even if, I’m prepared to concede, my opinion is of very little interest, I would just like to add that this could well be a completely trivial incident! Who knows? And by talking to your friend …
He inadvertently indicates Laurence, then corrects himself.
I mean the friend you were describing to us just now, whom neither of you know … You’re taking the risk of setting off a crisis in their marriage! If that happens, you’ll be resposible for their separation! Think about that, Alice! It’ll be your fault!
Michel Why are you getting so upset?
Paul Mm? No, I’m not getting upset. I’m just saying if you let things go, this man …
Same thing: he indicates Michel, then corrects himself.
I mean: the husband of this friend neither of you know and I don’t either. I don’t know him! Anyway, this man will realise of his own accord that his life depends on staying with his wife. That’s it. All I’m saying is that we’re in agreement. I’m in favour of tact.
Alice (to Laurence) What about you, what do you think?
Laurence I don’t know. It’s tricky.
Alice (sincerely) You see, she’s someone I love. And I can’t work out what’s the fairest and most respectful decision to make on her behalf.
Laurence I understand.
At this stage of the play, we ought not to suspect that Alice has any other motive. This is not a woman who can’t bear lies and would like to tell the truth come what may. This is a woman who’s fond of her friend and finds herself confronted with a moral dilemma which seems important to her: would it be more respectful to tell her the truth or to keep quiet?
Alice You, for example, would you prefer not to know anything?
Laurence Me?
Alice Yes.
Laurence You mean: if someone caught Michel with another woman?
Alice For example.
Paul A highly unlikely example, but fine.
Laurence I’ve never thought about it.
Brief pause. Laurence seems to be considering the question. Paul is tense. He’s holding his breath.
I don’t think I’d like it at all if someone took it upon themselves to tell me about it …
Paul (relieved) Hoo!
Laurence No. I’d rather not know anything than have some outsider interfering in my private life.
Paul There you are. You agree with me. Ah …
Laurence Some things it’s best to know nothing about, don’t you think?
Paul I certainly do.
Laurence I’m thinking there’s a certain wisdom in accepting that you can’t know everything.
Paul Great wisdom, you might say. Very great wisdom.
Alice So you’d prefer to know nothing?
Paul She’s just told you she would.
Laurence Best would be that something like that never happened.
Alice Obviously.
Laurence But I don’t have too many worries on that score.
Pause. Michel takes her hand.
Paul (aiming to change the subject) Great. Shall we talk about something else? Yes? You never told me … how things are going at the agency.
Laurence Mm?
Paul Things improving?
Laurence I wouldn’t go so far as to say that … Ever since Simone retired, I’ve been landed with twice as much work. The week never seems to end. I’m worn out.
Alice You don’t look it.
Laurence That’s nice of you.
Alice No, it’s true. I was looking at you just now and I thought to myself, on the contrary, you’re gorgeous. Really gorgeous. Don’t you think, Michel?
Michel What, that …?
Alice That Laurence is gorgeous.
Laurence (trying to brush off the compliment) Oh, come on …
Michel I have to confess I’ve always had a slight weakness for my wife.
Paul Me too.
Brief pause.
I mean, for mine.
Laurence Otherwise, everything’s all right. I’m going to Quiberon for a few days next week to lie down.
Alice On your own?
Laurence Yes. Perfect, don’t you think? Can you imagine? Spot of hydrotherapy. It’s exactly what I need.
Alice (to Michel) Aren’t you tempted to go too?
Michel I’d have loved to. But I have too much work.
Alice Of course. Poor thing. What are you going to do all alone in Paris without your wife?
Laurence Don’t worry about him. He manages very well without me.
Alice Oh, no, I’m not worrying.
Paul Anyone care for a peanut?
Pause. Alice exhales. How can Laurence not understand?
Laurence (to Alice) What’s the matter?
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br /> Alice Me?
Laurence Yes. You seem gloomy …
Alice No, not at all. I … I was just thinking about what we were saying.
Laurence When?
Alice Just now. I was thinking maybe you were right, there probably is a kind of wisdom in accepting the fact that there are certain things you can’t know …
Laurence I think so, don’t you?
Paul No, I don’t believe this! You’re not going to start on all that again? We were talking about Quiberon. We were talking about Brittany!
Laurence For example, if I was to surprise Paul with another woman one day …
Paul Here we go, off again!
Laurence If I’ve understood you correctly, you would want me to come and tell you.
Alice Yes.
Laurence I’d never do that.
Alice Why?
Laurence I don’t know. You’re my friends. I wouldn’t want to cause a row between you.
Paul In any case, it’s not something that will ever happen. So let’s change the subject.
Laurence You never know.
Paul Of course you do. You want me to tell you why? Because, even if sometimes she can be really irritating, I’m completely crazy about my wife.
Michel Me too.
Brief pause.
I mean about mine, obviously.
Paul and Laurence laugh. Pause.
The basic problem, Alice, is that whatever they may claim, people don’t really want to be told the truth.
Alice Is that what you think?
Michel I know from experience. When I started out, you can’t imagine how many writers I infuriated because I made the mistake of telling them honestly what I thought of their manuscripts … In the end, every one of them resented me. And I’m prepared to bet this friend of yours, the one you were telling us about, would wind up holding it against you, if you told her what you saw.
Alice So lying’s the only answer?
Michel Let’s say, keeping your secrets.
Alice (coldly) Right. I’m going to check the dinner.
She gets up abruptly.
Paul No, don’t worry, I’ll do it.
Alice No, no. That’s all right.
She goes out. Her departure leaves a chill behind.