Lara Santiago - Menagerie

by Lara Santiago

  However, through it all, the night before was never discussed. She never even identified who she’d slept with, but they all knew. Whichever man had the most pitiful look on his face had been the one dealing with her screaming nightmares.

  * * * *

  The next time they were together, Dominick offered Valerie the handle of a pistol. “This is a Glock Seventeen nine-millimeter automatic. Let’s try marksmanship and weapons training.”

  He might as well have offered her a writhing snake baring its fangs ready to strike. She turned up her nose. “I’ve never fired a weapon in my life that I remember anyway. I’ve never needed to. To tell you the truth, I don’t think I want to.”

  Dominick sighed, walked closer until he could whisper in her ear and said, “Take this gun or schedule a morning conference for the breakfast table and explain to the others what the problem is and why you aren’t sleeping—”

  “Fine. Give me the damn thing.” Valerie cut him off and grabbed the handle of the gun with two fingers. She held it up like a week-old diaper and wrinkled her nose. “What do I have to do?”

  He showed her how to load the gun and made her memorize lots of safety tips first before allowing her to shoot it. After deciding she understood the seriousness of shooting a gun, he took her to the firing range in the depths of the ship. A place she’d never been to before if her wide-eyed perusal was any indication.

  Dominick stood behind her, his torso pressed to her back, and guided her arms into the proper position to hold the pistol. Valerie was flattened against the stand on their range lane trying to sight up the target silhouette and hit center mass. Her elbows rested on the coarse fake grass cover to keep her from skidding around. It left grass-like impressions on her elbows and smelled like gym socks.

  “Hold it with both hands. One to support and one to aim. Don’t jerk the trigger, squeeze it nice and easy. The hardest part is learning not to anticipate the recoil. It’ll throw your aim off.”

  “There’s something else throwing off my aim.” A sweet laugh escaped her lips.

  Her laugh surprised him and squeezed his heart at the same time. “What’s that?”

  She shifted her hips back and forth swishing her butt against his already enflamed crotch. “Your cock is digging me in the ass.”

  Dominick pressed his hips forward grinding his rampant erection harder into her soft flesh and whispered in her ear, “Deal with it. Watching you fire a gun makes my dick get hard.”

  “Everything makes your dick get hard.” She giggled and his heart melted as he realized it had been too long since he’d heard her laughter.

  “I can’t argue with that.” His rumble of laughter in return made another smile register on her sweet lips.

  “What would happen if you pulled my pants down and then took me from behind against this stand, while I aimed?”

  His cock throbbed against her back as if in silent answer that it was ready to go. “Goldie and the gang wouldn’t let us practice at this firing range anymore. Plus, your target silhouette would look like shit.”

  “Pity,” she lamented. “I hate it when my target silhouette looks like shit.” His cock pulsed against her once more.

  Dominick lowered his head and grazed her shoulder with his chin. Planting a kiss on her neck beneath her ear was as close to sex as he was going to get for now. It was all he cold do not to comply with her request and go for it here at the target range.

  “What if when we get back home we pretend we’re here.”

  * * * *

  Dominick’s body stiffened and he pulled away from her. “No,” he grunted in anger. The draft between them was palpable. She felt the loss of his separation like she’d lost the back half of her body. He turned away and started collecting their things.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “It’s not my night, Valerie.”

  Damn it, she’d forgotten.

  “Now I have to picture you playing this little game with someone else.” He shoved gun accessories forcefully into the bag he carried.

  Valerie put a hand on his shoulder to soothe his anger. “I would never play our games with someone else.”

  “But I’d never know anyway, right?” His gaze pierced her miserable soul. “It’s not like I even want to know the intimate details of your time with each of the others, but I still picture it. I can tell by the way you act each morning which of them you’ve been with.”

  She pursed her lips together until they hurt. “You can’t either!”

  “Last night you were with Hauser. The night before was Johnny. Tell me I’m wrong.”

  She stared at him unblinking and now unwilling to answer because he was right and she didn’t want him to gloat.

  “And let me take a wild stab that tonight will be Frasier.”

  Her mouth opened and then closed. “Do you want me to stop sleeping with them? Is that what you want?”

  “No. I want you to tell them that you prefer me. I want them to know that when you’re in bed with them that you really wish it was me fucking you.”

  “That’s not fair. How can you ask me to do that? You know what my nightmare is like.”

  “That’s how it is, Valerie. Deal with it.”

  “I hate it when you use my name like I’m an errant child in trouble. My middle name is Jean. Want to throw that in for an extra twist?”

  “Yeah.” He laughed mirthlessly. “I do, Valerie Jean.”

  “Fine. I’ll go to bed with Frasier tonight and think of you like I always do and in the morning I’ll confess my transgressions to the assembled group of lovers I currently service.”

  He stopped loading things in the bag and straightened. “Don’t tease me. It’s not nice.”

  “Since when do you ever care about nice.” Valerie turned her back on him, rested her arms on the stand, lifted the gun and took aim at the target.

  “Oh, I care.”

  She fired three rounds into the silhouette. Her back was stiff and her shots were off her mark slightly, albeit tightly grouped. From behind her, Dominick murmured, “Relax. Don’t fire the gun when you’re angry.”

  “Why? Because my practice silhouette will look like shit?”

  “No. Because I don’t want you to miss and hit me in your zeal to destroy the target.”

  “Very funny.”

  * * * *

  Frasier knew something was up the second Valerie arrived in his room. She could see it in his eyes and feel it in the way he spoke even though he treated her with kid gloves as usual. His analytical mind was obviously hard pressed to deal with emotion in its rawest form. Tomorrow morning she’d tell all, but tonight was about routine.

  They had dinner. They had sex. They went to sleep and the nightmare began once again. For the first time ever, Valerie felt distanced from the dream, like she watched it instead of participating. It wasn’t any less horrific, but as it progressed she thought she might be able to change it for once.

  She closed her eyes and thought about her defensive training.

  Dominick told her to focus on the muscles of her arms and legs. He’d taught her to twist and fight. Ignoring the pain and humiliation of the nightmare, Valerie took a deep breath, focused her attention on her arm and leg muscles and wrenched herself out of the sordid abuse. It stopped immediately.

  Valerie was suddenly free and in the next moment she landed hard on her ass next to Frasier’s bed in a flurry of bed sheets with her nightgown twisted around her thighs.

  “Darling? Are you hurt?” Frasier’s sleepy voice drifted from the bed. His head appeared over her now vacant side of the bed. He was sleep rumpled and sexy, rubbing his eyes.

  The vision of the recent dream slid in to haunt her. Valerie jumped up from the oak floor, flattened herself against the bedroom wall and screamed. “Stay away from me.” Her sphincter contracted as if to protect itself from violation. Frasier’s puzzled expression calmed her.

  His eyes focused on her face and a concerned look replaced the sleepy one. “Di
d you have another bad dream?”

  As the vestiges of the nightmare fell away, she noticed his guarded, hurt expression and nodded. Valerie felt very foolish all of a sudden. It was unconscionable to believe that Frasier would ever hurt her. Looking at his disheveled, concerned face she knew he’d never harm her in any way. He’d never try to do anything by force.

  Valerie nodded. “Yes. It was a bad dream.”

  After over two years together, he still practically asked permission to have sex each and every time as it was. He most assuredly had never tried to penetrate her anally. He probably wouldn’t do it even if she asked him to. Probably not even if she begged. As her rational wits seeped back inside her brain, Valerie realized the truth. Dominick was right. She was going to have to tell them.

  Damn fucking nightmare.

  She couldn’t go on like this, it wouldn’t wait until morning at the breakfast table. The High Committee would have her head, but she couldn’t take it any longer. Perhaps it was better to tell them individually even though she’d have to repeat this distasteful news three more times.

  “You’ve been having bad dreams for far too long, darling. Please tell me, is there anything I can do?” Frasier propped his head on one hand and watched her carefully. It was the first time in a long time that she hadn’t simply bolted out of his room in terror. His expression was that of a man with a problem to solve. Frasier liked solving problems, but Valerie hoped he wouldn’t be hurt by the confession she was about to make.

  Taking a deep breath she said, “I have something to tell you. You won’t like it, but I need to confess or I’ll have a nervous breakdown from lack of sleep.”

  “No, you don’t, darling. You never need to explain anything. Not to me.”

  Valerie released a deep breath she hadn’t realized she’d held. “I do. Please listen to me, Frasier. I care for you very much. Of the five men in my life, you are my sensible, responsible partner. I depend on you being solid.”

  His faint smile belied what he said. “You mean the boring one.”

  “No. I don’t mean the boring one.” She crossed the space from the wall to the edge of the bed and sat down, albeit out of his reach. “The truth is, I love all of you. Each of you is different and I adore each and every one of those differences.”

  Frasier leaned back against the headboard and crossed his arms. He looked like a district attorney about to give a summation to a jury. “But something is wrong.”

  “Yes. The problem is that…” She paused to inhale. “Of the five of you, I have a favorite.” She mashed her eyes shut, fearful of his anger and hurt. He remained silent. She peeked through an eyelid.

  His eyebrows wrinkled and an amused smile slid over his mouth. “I know that, darling. I’ve known for a long time.”

  Valerie opened her eyes in surprise. “What? How do you know? I never allowed myself to express it outwardly when any of you were around.”

  His boyish grin reassured her. She couldn’t wait to hear what he had to say.

  “Darling, I suffer from no illusions about what is going on in this odd place. We are, all of us, prisoners of a race of people who have parked us into a situation that is uncomfortable at best. I’m grateful to you. In my eyes, you’ve selflessly saved my life. I don’t care that I’m not your favorite. I don’t care if you have a favorite. And besides, I believe I know who your favorite is.” His eyebrows went up tauntingly.

  Valerie rocked back. “So you aren’t upset that I have a favorite? Not even a little?”

  “Not even a little.” He uncrossed his arms. “It’s Hauser, isn’t it?”

  It was her turn to be surprised. “Why do you think it’s Hauser?”

  “He’s the first one you met. It’s understandable that you would have a stronger attachment to him. He’s the one we sent out to find us the perfect mate in this insane world. And he did. I don’t begrudge him. Honestly, Valerie, is this what has truly had you so upset?”

  She nodded. “I think it’s what was making me have bad dreams.”

  “I hate that more than anything. You have given of yourself to us more than is even required. You are not mean or spiteful and truthfully, for one of us to qualify as a favorite in a bad way, the rest of would have had to suffer and we haven’t. You didn’t stop spending nights with the rest of us to explore a relationship with Hauser.”

  Valerie didn’t confirm or deny that her favorite was Hauser. “Do you think the others would be upset if I confessed this information?”

  Frasier considered her question a few moments before answering, “I’m not sure what Dominick would say, because I don’t know him as well, but the others probably wouldn’t even raise an eyebrow.”

  Valerie pegged him with a grateful look and slid under the covers next to him. His pajamas were soft and warm. She slid on top of him and kissed his mouth. “Thank you so much for understanding.”

  He patted her gently on the back. His discomfort with physical gestures was endearing. “Go to sleep, darling. You need more than an hour at a time.”

  She kissed him again. “I love you Frasier. I truly do.”

  “I know.” He kissed her forehead and moved her off his body. He turned her away and snuggled up behind her to cuddle as he always did after sex. Valerie would have had wild, wicked sex with him in that moment, but he seemed content just to hold her gently.

  That was Frasier.

  They’d made love earlier and while Frasier had done what he normally did, she’d spent their time together trying not to think of Dominick and the game they’d played earlier at the target range. And she’d failed. He’d been on her mind during the act. She just couldn’t help it.

  In this moment, with Frasier snuggled up behind her not at all upset that she’d admitted to having a favorite, for the first time she didn’t feel guilty about her wayward thoughts of Dominick.

  She slept the rest of the night all the way through without dreaming. The next morning was the best she’d felt in weeks. Her lack of nightmares had a profound impact on her physically and at breakfast the next morning everyone noticed. Including Dominick, who put in a rare appearance. He was the only one not happy about it. She didn’t get a chance to explain her new plan to tell each of them individually, and decided it wasn’t important.

  She vowed to disclose her secret to them all, but one at a time. She hoped Dominick was right about these confessions.

  * * * *

  The next night, after a particularly satisfying evening with Mark, the first in months, she confessed to having a favorite mate and the nightmares it caused.

  “Thank God above. I thought one of the others was mistreating you or something and I didn’t know which one them I’d have to kill.”

  “You aren’t angry?”

  He grabbed her face and planted a kiss on her mouth. “No. Of course not. I care for you, honey. I need you desperately in this world. But the truth is, I’m not used to having only one woman in my bed for so long.”

  Her mouth fell open. “So you’re bored with me?”

  The horrified look started his sputtering and explaining. “No. It’s not like that at all. It’s just that…” He paused as if to find the correct words to keep her from being pissed off. They all hated it when she was pissed off. Every man in this strange world stepped on eggshells to avoid allowing his woman to get angry.

  “If we were anywhere else, I would have spent at best a year or two with you and then moved on. That’s just how I am, sweetheart. I can’t help it. I like women. I like variety. Please don’t be mad.”

  She blinked repeatedly and wondered why she’d been so sure the others would have such a problem with her deep dark secret. So far, no one had cared that she secretly pined for another.

  Valerie pondered this phenomenon silently until Mark said, “I’m screwed, aren’t I. Now that I’ve confessed, you’re going to make me beg?”

  “No.” She slung her arms around his neck and kissed him. “Honestly, I’m so glad, Mark. I know it must be h
ard for you having the same old me every time.”

  His whole body relaxed. “Not at all, my beautiful princess. You’ve spoiled me in our times together. You’ve never turned me down once and you’ve never expected me to do the missionary position except once a year. And it’s not like I can take what you won’t give.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Force isn’t allowed. It’s built into us from the beginning. We all have implants, honey.” He tapped the side of his head with a finger. “All you have to say is no and launch is a no go.”

  “I didn’t know that. How did I not know that all this time?”

  “Don’t know, princess, maybe you slept through that part of orientation.” Mark tilted his head to one side. “I only resented it because it was an unneeded implant for me. I’ve never forced a woman in my life.” He ducked his head slyly. “Never needed to.”

  Valerie hugged his neck again and kissed his cheek. “I believe it.”

  “Now let me take you to my bed before you realize what I’ve confessed and I suffer the consequences of you banning me.”

  “I’d never ban you. I like talking to you. You’re my best buddy.”

  “Best buddies with benefits?”

  Valerie laughed relishing the feeling of happiness she’d missed. “Exactly.”

  * * * *

  Valerie’s litany all day had been, “Two down, two to go.”

  Johnny was her date mate for tonight. He never failed to come up with artistic ways for them to spend their time together. After their first night, he’d never played any pirate sexual games ever again, but still he was what she would term very creative. Full of life. Never a dull moment. She would hate to stifle his imagination by telling him that he wasn’t her favorite mate. She should have known he would read her mind before she was two minutes in the door.

  “Something’s up, lovie.” He gave her a narrow-eyed appraisal from head to toes and then pegged her with the most serious gaze she’d ever seen him deliver.

  She glanced at him with alarm. “What do you mean?”