Lone Star Joy

by Kathleen Ball

  "I'll do it," Joy volunteered.

  "When hogs fly. You will not touch that boy you... you... murderer," Bailey shouted, her chest heaving.

  "Enough," Stamos demanded.

  "I know, I'm sorry. You wouldn't let me touch him anyway." Joy walked to the back door. Pent up frustration made her want to smack Bailey and she knew she had to get out of there. "See you in the barn, Boss."

  Stepping out into the cool morning air, Joy took a deep breath. It would never get old, wide-open spaces made her feel free. She never should have taken on Bailey. She'd be sent away for sure.

  She understood that she couldn't change anything, she never could. She walked to the barn. Animals were a refuge for her. She understood them and they understood her.

  To her surprise, she found a grey mare and a little filly in the barn. The mare was greeting the horses. Joy laughed, momentarily forgetting her troubles. "Now where did you come from?" she asked, approaching the pair.

  "That's Nanny and Nino," Benji told her.

  Ever since their first meeting when he tried to come on to her, he'd been her gentle giant. No one messed with her as long as Benji was around.

  Joy sent Benji a big smile. "Hello, Nanny, hello, Nino," she said, approaching them. She patted Nanny on the head. "This must be your baby. She is very pretty."

  Benji giggled. "She don't know what you're sayin', Joy."

  "Sure she does. Look, she's smiling."

  "Yeah she is. You are wonderful, Joy," Benji enthused, reaching out and petting Nanny.

  "Now, where did she come from?" Joy asked.

  "Hey, Nanny. Is that you?" Stamos asked, his voice booming.

  "Yes, Boss, and little Nino too," Benji told him, happily.

  "Okay, who is Nanny? Why haven't I seen her before?"

  "Nanny is the Houdini of horses. You can lock her in, but she always gets out. She enjoys making the rounds of the local ranches, letting herself into barns and stalls. She even has a favorite Billy goat friend that escapes and follows her."

  "The Boss is right, she is a wonder horse," Benji said.

  "This is the first time she's brought her daughter Nino here for a visit," Stamos told Joy. He turned toward Nanny and patted her withers. "You did good, girl. Look at your filly all black and grey. She's a beauty the same as you. I bet she's just as smart."

  Nanny nodded her head and Joy was beside herself. "Now this is a horse I could whisper to all day long."

  Joy took the moment to stare her fill at Stamos. His skin appeared deeply tanned, but there was a copper undertone. His face looked as chiseled as his body. He had high cheekbones and smile lines that were so deep that Joy got the impression that he loved life. An impulse to touch his silky black hair ran through her. It scared her. These were feelings she never allowed herself before.

  So lost in thought, Joy hadn't noticed that Stamos was staring back at her. It startled her. Too bad his view wasn't as pleasing as hers was. She knew she wasn't much to look at, and that was her ultimate goal.

  "Do I still have baby food on my head?" Stamos asked, looking amused.

  "What? Oh no, I was just wool gathering. So where are these two beauties from?"

  "Nanny lives at the O'Neill ranch. Hasn't been around much since she's become a mama." Stamos turned and looked at Nanny. "You came to show off your pretty daughter, right?"

  Nanny nodded her head.

  Joy laughed. "Is the O'Neill ranch close?"

  "They are our closest neighbors. Good people, Callie and Garrett. I worked on their ranch for a time."

  "I thought you were a lawman?" Joy asked.

  "I was, it was an undercover operation, but it made me realize that ranching is in my blood. I grew up on a ranch."

  Inner warmth gifted Joy. No one shared personal things with her. "I'll get to mucking out the stalls. Nanny, it was nice to meet you and your little Nino."

  Joy got the shovel and wheelbarrow while Benji led the paint into the corral. She didn't mind mucking out stalls. Anything to do with horses and she was all for it. The morning was quite cool, but she had no problem working up a sweat.

  She heard voices at the barn entrance. She glanced and turned away. It couldn't be. She knew there was no mistake. It was her brother. Quickly she looked for another way out. The voices were growing louder and she wanted to hide in a stall with her hands over her ears. Pain lanced through her body. Why now? Why here?

  Fear seized her heart as she stared at Jamie. He'd grown into a man these last eight years. Clearly not a nice man, he cursed at Stamos. Joy watched Stamos escort Jamie away. The pain of her brother's betrayal and rejection had cut her to pieces.

  She tried to feel numb, but tears pricked at the back of her eyes. The pain was too much to bear, even now. There was no getting past the pain of her family's actions. Joy had thought that she and Jamie were close, but it was all smoke and mirrors. He'd been saying hurtful things, vile things behind her back. She wouldn't have believed it, not of her Jamie, but she overheard him one night saying he couldn't stand to be in the same room as her.

  To this day, she wasn't privy to what she'd done to him. Jamie was reminiscent of the head of a snake -- he quickly turned and bit, leaving a poison of pain inside her.

  Even after all he'd done, she'd tried to reach out to him. Phone calls were rejected. He'd been the ultimate betrayer and she'd been pathetic trying to hold on.

  She shoveled the hay, trying to get her mind off her problems. She turned and ended up dumping a shovelful of manure at Stamos' feet. Joy couldn't look at him. She could only imagine what her brother had said about her this time. It shamed her. "I'm sorry."

  "Joy, look at me," Stamos cajoled, "Joy, he's a jerk. I know he's your brother, but I don't allow uninvited visits here."

  Joy nodded and went back to work. At any minute, she might fly into a million pieces.

  "Joy, please look at me."

  Joy put down the shovel and turned. The compassion in Stamos' face appeared welcoming. When he opened his arms to her, she walked into them and put her face in his shoulder, crying.

  "Are you crying because I sent him away?"

  "No," she managed to choke out.

  "Good, he's a first class ass."

  Stamos' hands rubbed up and down her back comforting her. She closed her eyes and breathed in his scent. Old Spice, she knew because it was on the bathroom counter. He smelled so good. Maybe when this nightmare was all over she'd buy herself a bottle to remember him by. She wished that she had the nerve to snuggle against him but it wouldn't be right. Looking over his shoulder, she spotted both Benji and Bailey staring at them. Benji looked positively giddy while Bailey shot her daggers with her eyes.

  Joy pulled away from Stamos and nodded her head toward their audience.

  "Benji are all the stalls taken care of?" Stamos asked.

  "Yep, Boss. Do I get to hug Joy next?" he asked.

  "No, I need you to check on Franklin."

  "Your horse? You got it, Boss," Benji said, happily.

  Stamos turned his gaze to Bailey. "Where's Dillon?"

  "Sleeping, I just wanted to know who the tall handsome man was, but now I also want to know if you are sleeping with the criminal?"

  "No one important, and of course I'm not. Please go check on Dillon."

  Looking annoyed, Bailey shrugged her shoulders and slowly walked away.

  The smile he bestowed on Joy made her heart beat faster and her pain lessened. It didn't go away, but it lessened for now. No one had ever been able to do that for her and it made her try to smile in return.

  "He won't be back," Stamos told her.

  "Is that one of your rules?"

  "No, I read a lot of the trial transcripts last night. I hate to say this, but your brother is scum."

  "But..." Joy started.

  Stamos drew her back into the circle of his strong arms. He kissed her on the side of her forehead. "I'm not done reading, but honey, I think you've been all types of wronged."

  Joy p
ulled back and looked at him. She had to see his eyes. She had to know he was sincere. No one had believed her in such a long time and she couldn't believe it now.

  "I think you should stay at the ranch and work your program. You don't deserve to be sent back."

  Stunned, Joy stared at him. She still stared as he let her go and walked out of the barn.

  Joy took off her Stetson and wiped her brow. Her muscles ached with exhaustion. She missed lunch, on purpose, and the hunger gnawed at her stomach. She didn't want to see Bailey. Lord only knew what Jamie had said to her. Her spirit was crushed and she wasn't in the mood for Bailey's games.

  She opened the door and found Dillon waving his hands in the air crying. Bailey ignored him. Joy immediately picked him up and cooed to him. He began to babble Ma Ma, Ma Ma.

  "Put that boy down or I will slice you with this knife," Bailey warned, her face contorted.

  Stunned, Joy stared at Bailey. It was similar to being in prison again. Slowly, she put Dillon back into his highchair. He began to wail and Joy hoped it would bring Stamos. Bailey still held the knife and her look of hatred scared Joy. She'd been stabbed before and she wasn't about to let it happen again.

  "Bailey, what are you thinking?" she asked, while her mind whirled looking for a way out.

  Bailey smiled at her and turned back to cooking. Stunned, Joy didn't know what to do. She walked past a crying Dillon, grabbed him, and went to her room to change.

  Closing the door, she leaned against it breathing hard. It brought flashbacks of prison life. Bailey had problems. Something wasn't right about her. Joy wished that she could tell Stamos, but she didn't want him to be sorry that he'd let her stay on the ranch.

  "Joy? I'll take Dillon." Stamos' voice was loud through the door. He turned the knob and she stepped back.

  "Here." She handed Dillon to him.

  "Is everything all right? Bailey said he'd been fussy and you were helping out."

  She stilled her surprise and shook her head. "Everything is fine."

  "Well good, dinner in a few."

  Joy nodded as Stamos closed the door behind him. She wondered what Bailey's game was.

  She changed and walked toward the kitchen. It seemed quiet. She didn't hear Dillon crying. She almost walked into the kitchen, but she stopped short. Stamos was holding Dillon and Bailey in his arms. Joy's heart skipped a beat. Quietly she left through the front door.

  She felt gut kicked by what she had seen, but she had to admit that they made a nice looking family. He'd been kind to her and somehow she’d turned it into more. She'd let her guard down and she couldn't afford to again. Stamos didn't know how dangerous Bailey could be, but she knew it would be her word against Bailey's. She never won.

  Navigating outside prison proved to be just as tricky as inside, perhaps more so. There she learned the rules quickly. Here, she wasn't so sure what the rules even were.

  It surprised her to find Kid sitting on the top rung of the corral fence. He smiled and waved her over. "Nothing compares to wide open spaces," he commented.

  Joy looked into his brown eyes. She could sense his pain. "A person could get used to it," she responded.

  "Hear tell you're stayin'," he drawled in a heavy Texas accent.

  "That's what the Boss says."

  "He's a good man. He knows where we're coming from. He did six months undercover in the Pen. He always seems to know how to handle us."

  "Do most people stay on after the program?" Joy swung up onto the fence rung and sat next to Kid.

  "I've been here a year. Most men have families and other obligations. Benji and Corny are lifers though."

  "I've been meaning to ask. What happened to Benji?"

  "He was hit in the head by a guard, made him mental like. He's a good enough guy."

  "What was he in prison for?"

  "He masterminded the greatest bank robberies of this century -- well make that last century. We've all been gone for a while. Now he has trouble tying his shoes. He's loyal to Stamos. Don't know what they would have done with him if Stamos hadn't insisted that he come live on the ranch."

  "I'm glad he has a home."

  "Hear tell you were in for murder. Is it true?"

  Joy sighed. Everyone always wanted the details. "Something like that," she said. "I'll see you in the morning."

  "Goodnight, Joy."

  Joy nodded and walked toward the house. She learned a few nice things about Stamos. She dreaded seeing them all together. She took a deep breath and opened the door.

  Bailey stood there looking blazing mad. "What did you tell him, you little whore?"

  Joy quickly looked to see if Bailey had a knife on her. "I don't know what you mean," she said, trying to step around Bailey.

  "Oh no you don't," Bailey hissed, blocking Joy's way. "Stamos has a bug in his ear about how I treat you. I'm asking again, what did you say to him?"

  Joy just stared at her.

  "Don't think I didn't see you out there rubbing up against Kid. I know everything that goes on around here. I even know that your trashy brother plans to get to you one way or the other." Bailey crossed her arms and smiled.

  Joy had no idea what Bailey's problem was. All she knew was that Bailey was crazy. "Well thanks for the info, now if you'll let me by, I'd like to get some shut eye."

  Stamos stepped out into the hall. "What's going on here?"

  "Ask her," Joy said, her tone heated.

  "She was outside with Kid getting naked, if you know what I mean. I told you she was a whore. She needs to go," Bailey yelled.

  Joy walked away. No one ever believed her before and she wasn't about to stand there and see Bailey gloat. No one called her back as she climbed the stairs and she wasn't sure if she should be relieved or insulted.

  She walked into her room and found a soft flowered nightgown on her bed. Sitting on the bed, she touched it and smiled. It was the most feminine thing she'd ever gotten. The softness of the cotton made her smile. In an instant, she changed.

  Hearing Dillon cry in the next room, Joy didn't know if she should try to help or not. The crying went on for a bit and Joy's decision was made for her. She couldn't stand to hear him cry.

  Stamos watched Joy from the doorway. She looked lovely in her new gown and her hair unbraided. What a natural she was with Dillon. Joy filled his heart and he almost laughed at his own thoughts. She worked for him. That's all.

  Her eyes widened when she spotted him. "It's fine, Joy."

  "I didn't think you wanted me near him, but he was crying."

  "You're good with him."

  Joy smiled and once again, Stamos was amazed at how beautiful her smile looked.

  "Thank you for the nightgown." She ducked her head looking at the floor.

  Stamos chuckled at the redness of her face. "First one I ever bought, looks right pretty."

  "Thanks," she murmured.

  The atmosphere became awkward. "Well he looks like he's sleeping now."

  Joy looked at him. "Oh yes. I'll put him in his crib."

  Stamos watched her. She was as good with children as she was with horses. "About what Bailey said..."

  Joy turned from the crib. "I didn't. I..."

  "I know that. Bailey's jealous. She's husband hunting."

  A tear rolled down her face.

  "Joy?" Stamos inquired, stepping in front of her.

  "I'm sorry. I don't cry. It's just that no one has believed a word out of my mouth in a long time," she whispered.

  "Joy?" Stamos took her into his arms. Their eyes met and he could see her need. He leaned down and kissed her. Her lips were soft and sweet and he wanted more. Licking the seam of her lips, she seemed inexperienced somehow. At last, she opened to him and he explored her mouth with his tongue. His hands landed on her delectable rear end, pulling her closer.

  Her responses seemed genuine yet tentative. Then it hit him. It could be that she hadn't kissed anyone this way before. Stamos pulled away, looked into her passion filled eyes, and gazed at
her red ruby lips. She looked dazed.

  "What's wrong?" she asked.

  "Nothing, honey," Stamos said, taking a step back and dropping his hands from her. "It's just not right. You work here and I can't take advantage of you."

  A look of confusion crossed her face. "I understand," she said softly. "I'd better go to bed."

  "Goodnight, Joy."

  Joy didn't look at him. She paused at the door and murmured a quick goodnight and left.

  Joy sat on her bed. Her entire body tingled. She needed to unbind her breasts. They ached. She pulled the soft gown over her head and unleashed them from the tight ace bandage. It felt freeing. Maybe it was time to stop wearing it.

  Joy pulled her gown back on and once again, she stroked the soft cotton, awed that Stamos had bought it for her. She was reading too much into the gift and the kiss.

  It'd been her first kiss and she intended to cherish the moment forever. She knew the score, being a convicted murderer did not put her in the running for Stamos' girlfriend, wife, or mother to Dillon.

  A sharp pain pinged her heart, admitting it now would save her from more hurt. Both Stamos and Dillon were wriggling their way into her thoughts, and her heart, and she needed to put a stop to it. She knew she could. She'd been cold and unfeeling when it had mattered.

  Tears pricked at the back of her eyes and she swore. She refused to cry. She was a hardened criminal and she wouldn't cry. One lone tear trailed down her cheek. Impatiently she wiped it away and got into bed. Lightly touching her lips she sighed, then fell asleep.

  Chapter Five

  Once again, she bound her breasts, but it seemed harder to do. Joy could have sworn she heard more than one child downstairs. Curious, she dressed quickly. She didn't own a bra and she wouldn't until she summoned the nerve to ask Stamos to buy one.

  As she hurried down the stairs, Joy was pleased to see not one but three children. Two she didn't know, but they sure could run -- in different directions. Their lighthearted play touched her.

  A beautiful blond scurried after one and called to Joy to wrangle the other. Joy laughed as she tried to corner the little blond girl. She resembled her mother. The toddler shrieked and giggled, as she ran circles around Joy.