Works of Ivan Turgenev (Illustrated)

by Ivan Turgenev

  ‘You are too angry now, Natalya Alexyevna,’ he began; ‘you cannot realise how bitterly you wound me. I hope that in time you will do me justice; you will understand what it has cost me to renounce the happiness which you have said yourself would have laid upon me no obligations. Your peace is dearer to me than anything in the world, and I should have been the basest of men, if I could have taken advantage — — ’

  ‘Perhaps, perhaps,’ interrupted Natalya, ‘perhaps you are right; I don’t know what I am saying. But up to this time I believed in you, believed in every word you said.... For the future, pray keep a watch upon your words, do not fling them about at hazard. When I said to you, “I love you,” I knew what that word meant; I was ready for everything.... Now I have only to thank you for a lesson — and to say good - bye.’

  ‘Stop, for God’s sake, Natalya Alexyevna, I beseech you. I do not deserve your contempt, I swear to you. Put yourself in my position. I am responsible for you and for myself. If I did not love you with the most devoted love — why, good God! I should have at once proposed you should run away with me.... Sooner or later your mother would forgive us — and then... But before thinking of my own happiness — — ’

  He stopped. Natalya’s eyes fastened directly upon him put him to confusion.

  ‘You try to prove to me that you are an honourable man, Dmitri Nikolaitch,’ she said. ‘I do not doubt that. You are not capable of acting from calculation; but did I want to be convinced of that? did I come here for that?’

  ‘I did not expect, Natalya Alexyevna — — ’

  ‘Ah! you have said it at last! Yes, you did not expect all this — you did not know me. Do not be uneasy... you do not love me, and I will never force myself on any one.’

  ‘I love you!’ cried Rudin.

  Natalya drew herself up.

  ‘Perhaps; but how do you love me? Remember all your words, Dmitri Nikolaitch. You told me: “Without complete equality there is no love.”... You are too exalted for me; I am no match for you.... I am punished as I deserve. There are duties before you more worthy of you. I shall not forget this day.... Good - bye.’

  ‘Natalya Alexyevna, are you going? Is it possible for us to part like this?’

  He stretched out his hand to her. She stopped. His supplicating voice seemed to make her waver.

  ‘No,’ she uttered at last. ‘I feel that something in me is broken. ... I came here, I have been talking to you as if it were in delirium; I must try to recollect. It must not be, you yourself said, it will not be. Good God, when I came out here, I mentally took a farewell of my home, of my past — and what? whom have I met here? — a coward... and how did you know I was not able to bear a separation from my family? “Your mother will not consent... It is terrible!” That was all I heard from you, that you, you, Rudin? — No! good - bye.... Ah! if you had loved me, I should have felt it now, at this moment.... No, no, goodbye!’

  She turned swiftly and ran towards Masha, who had begun to be uneasy and had been making signs to her a long while.

  ‘It is you who are afraid, not I!’ cried Rudin after Natalya.

  She paid no attention to him, and hastened homewards across the fields. She succeeded in getting back to her bedroom; but she had scarcely crossed the threshold when her strength failed her, and she fell senseless into Masha’s arms.

  But Rudin remained a long while still standing on the bank. At last he shivered, and with slow steps made his way to the little path and quietly walked along it. He was deeply ashamed... and wounded. ‘What a girl!’ he thought, ‘at seventeen!... No, I did not know her!... She is a remarkable girl. What strength of will!... She is right; she deserves another love than what I felt for her. I felt for her?’ he asked himself. ‘Can it be I already feel no more love for her? So this is how it was all to end! What a pitiful wretch I was beside her!’

  The slight rattle of a racing droshky made Rudin raise his head. Lezhnyov was driving to meet him with his invariable trotting pony. Rudin bowed to him without speaking, and as though struck with a sudden thought, turned out of the road and walked quickly in the direction of Darya Mihailovna’s house.

  Lezhnyov let him pass, looked after him, and after a moment’s thought he too turned his horse’s head round, and drove back to Volintsev’s, where he had spent the night. He found him asleep, and giving orders he should not be waked, he sat down on the balcony to wait for some tea and smoked a pipe.

  X

  Volintsev got up at ten o’clock. When he heard that Lezhnyov was sitting in the balcony, he was much surprised, and sent to ask him to come to him.

  ‘What has happened?’ he asked him. ‘I thought you meant to drive home?’

  ‘Yes; I did mean to, but I met Rudin.... He was wandering about the country with such a distracted countenance. So I turned back at once.’

  ‘You came back because you met Rudin?’

  ‘That’s to say, — to tell the truth, I don’t know why I came back myself, I suppose because I was reminded of you; I wanted to be with you, and I have plenty of time before I need go home.’

  Volintsev smiled bitterly.

  ‘Yes; one cannot think of Rudin now without thinking of me.... Boy!’ he cried harshly, ‘bring us some tea.’

  The friends began to drink tea. Lezhnyov talked of agricultural matters, — of a new method of roofing barns with paper....

  Suddenly Volintsev leaped up from his chair and struck the table with such force that the cups and saucers rang.

  ‘No!’ he cried, ‘I cannot bear this any longer! I will call out this witty fellow, and let him shoot me, — at least I will try to put a bullet through his learned brains!’

  ‘What are you talking about? Upon my word!’ grumbled Lezhnyov, ‘how can you scream like that? I dropped my pipe.... What’s the matter with you?’

  ‘The matter is, that I can’t hear his name and keep calm; it sets all my blood boiling!’

  ‘Hush, my dear fellow, hush! aren’t you ashamed?’ rejoined Lezhnyov, picking up his pipe from the ground. ‘Leave off! Let him alone!’

  ‘He has insulted me,’ pursued Volintsev, walking up and down the room. ‘Yes! he has insulted me. You must admit that yourself. At first I was not sharp enough; he took me by surprise; and who could have expected this? But I will show him that he cannot make a fool of me. ... I will shoot him, the damned philosopher, like a partridge.’

  ‘Much you will gain by that, indeed! I won’t speak of your sister now. I can see you’re in a passion... how could you think of your sister! But in relation to another individual — what! do you imagine, when you’ve killed the philosopher, you can improve your own chances?’

  Volintsev flung himself into a chair.

  ‘Then I must go away somewhere! For here my heart is simply being crushed by misery; only I can find no place to go.’

  ‘Go away... that’s another matter! That I am ready to agree to. And do you know what I should suggest? Let us go together — to the Caucasus, or simply to Little Russia to eat dumplings. That’s a capital idea, my dear fellow!’

  ‘Yes; but whom shall we leave my sister with?’

  ‘And why should not Alexandra Pavlovna come with us? Upon my soul, it will be splendid. As for looking after her — yes, I’ll undertake that! There will be no difficulty in getting anything we want: if she likes, I will arrange a serenade under her window every night; I will sprinkle the coachmen with eau de cologne and strew flowers along the roads. And we shall both be simply new men, my dear boy; we shall enjoy ourselves so, we shall come back so fat that we shall be proof against the darts of love!’

  ‘You are always joking, Misha!’

  ‘I’m not joking at all. It was a brilliant idea of yours.’

  ‘No; nonsense!’ Volintsev shouted again. ‘I want to fight him, to fight him!...’

  ‘Again! What a rage you are in!’

  A servant entered with a letter in his hand.

  ‘From whom?’ asked Lezhnyov.

  ‘From Rudin, Dmitri
Nikolaitch. The Lasunsky’s servant brought it.’

  ‘From Rudin?’ repeated Volintsev, ‘to whom?’

  ‘To you.’

  ‘To me!... give it me!’

  Volintsev seized the letter, quickly tore it open, and began to read. Lezhnyov watched him attentively; a strange, almost joyful amazement was expressed on Volintsev’s face; he let his hands fall by his side.

  ‘What is it?’ asked Lezhnyov.

  ‘Read it,’ Volintsev said in a low voice, and handed him the letter.

  Lezhnyov began to read. This is what Rudin wrote:

  ‘SIR —

  ‘I am going away from Darya Mihailovna’s house to - day, and leaving it for ever. This will certainly be a surprise to you, especially after what passed yesterday. I cannot explain to you what exactly obliges me to act in this way; but it seems to me for some reason that I ought to let you know of my departure. You do not like me, and even regard me as a bad man. I do not intend to justify myself; time will justify me. In my opinion it is even undignified in a man and quite unprofitable to try to prove to a prejudiced man the injustice of his prejudice. Whoever wishes to understand me will not blame me, and as for any one who does not wish, or cannot do so, — his censure does not pain me. I was mistaken in you. In my eyes you remain as before a noble and honourable man, but I imagined you were able to be superior to the surroundings in which you were brought up. I was mistaken. What of that? It is not the first, nor will it be the last time. I repeat to you, I am going away. I wish you all happiness. Confess that this wish is completely disinterested, and I hope that now you will be happy. Perhaps in time you will change your opinion of me. Whether we shall ever meet again, I don’t know, but in any case I remain your sincere well - wisher,

  ‘D. R.

  ‘P.S. The two hundred roubles I owe you I will send directly I reach my estate in T — — province. Also I beg you not to speak to Darya Mihailovna of this letter.

  ‘P.P.S. One last, but important request more; since I am going away, I hope you will not allude before Natalya Alexyevna to my visit to you.’

  ‘Well, what do you say to that?’ asked Volintsev, directly Lezhnyov had finished the letter.

  ‘What is one to say?’ replied Lezhnyov, ‘Cry “Allah! Allah!” like a Mussulman and sit gaping with astonishment — that’s all one can do.... Well, a good riddance! But it’s curious: you see he thought it his duty to write you this letter, and he came to see you from a sense of duty... these gentlemen find a duty at every step, some duty they owe... or some debt,’ added Lezhnyov, pointing with a smile to the postscript.

  ‘And what phrases he rounds off!’ cried Volintsev. ‘He was mistaken in me. He expected I would be superior to my surroundings. What a rigmarole! Good God! it’s worse than poetry!’

  Lezhnyov made no reply, but his eyes were smiling. Volintsev got up.

  ‘I want to go to Darya Mihailovna’s,’ he announced. ‘I want to find out what it all means.’

  ‘Wait a little, my dear boy; give him time to get off. What’s the good of running up against him again? He is to vanish, it seems. What more do you want? Better go and lie down and get a little sleep; you have been tossing about all night, I expect. But everything will be smooth for you.’

  ‘What leads you to that conclusion?’

  ‘Oh, I think so. There, go and have a nap; I will go and see your sister. I will keep her company.’

  ‘I don’t want to sleep in the least. What’s the object of my going to bed? I had rather go out to the fields,’ said Volintsev, putting on his out - of - door coat.

  ‘Well, that’s a good thing too. Go along, and look at the fields....’

  And Lezhnyov betook himself to the apartments of Alexandra Pavlovna. He found her in the drawing - room. She welcomed him effusively. She was always pleased when he came; but her face still looked sorrowful. She was uneasy about Rudin’s visit the day before.

  ‘You have seen my brother?’ she asked Lezhnyov. ‘How is he to - day?’

  ‘All right, he has gone to the fields.’

  Alexandra Favlovna did not speak for a minute.

  ‘Tell me, please,’ she began, gazing earnestly at the hem of her pocket - handkerchief, ‘don’t you know why...’

  ‘Rudin came here?’ put in Lezhnyov. ‘I know, he came to say good - bye.’

  Alexandra Pavlovna lifted up her head.

  ‘What, to say good - bye!’

  ‘Yes. Haven’t you heard? He is leaving Darya Mihailovna’s.’

  ‘He is leaving?’

  ‘For ever; at least he says so.’

  ‘But pray, how is one to explain it, after all?...’

  ‘Oh, that’s a different matter! To explain it is impossible, but it is so. Something must have happened with them. He pulled the string too tight — and it has snapped.’

  ‘Mihailo Mihailitch!’ began Alexandra Pavlovna, ‘I don’t understand; you are laughing at me, I think....’

  ‘No indeed! I tell you he is going away, and he even let his friends know by letter. It’s just as well, I daresay, from one point of view; but his departure has prevented one surprising enterprise from being carried out that I had begun to talk to your brother about.’

  ‘What do you mean? What enterprise?’

  ‘Why, I proposed to your brother that we should go on our travels, to distract his mind, and take you with us. To look after you especially I would take on myself....’

  ‘That’s capital!’ cried Alexandra Pavlovna. ‘I can fancy how you would look after me. Why, you would let me die of hunger.’

  ‘You say so, Alexandra Pavlovna, because you don’t know me. You think I am a perfect blockhead, a log; but do you know I am capable of melting like sugar, of spending whole days on my knees?’

  ‘I should like to see that, I must say!’

  Lezhnyov suddenly got up. ‘Well, marry me, Alexandra Pavlovna, and you will see all that’

  Alexandra Pavlovna blushed up to her ears.

  ‘What did you say, Mihailo Mihailitch?’ she murmured in confusion.

  ‘I said what it has been for ever so long,’ answered Lezhnyov, ‘on the tip of my tongue to say a thousand times over. I have brought it out at last, and you must act as you think best. But I will go away now, so as not to be in your way. If you will be my wife... I will walk away... if you don’t dislike the idea, you need only send to call me in; I shall understand....’

  Alexandra Pavlovna tried to keep Lezhnyov, but he went quickly away, and going into the garden without his cap, he leaned on a little gate and began looking about him.

  ‘Mihailo Mihailitch!’ sounded the voice of a maid - servant behind him, ‘please come in to my lady. She sent me to call you.’

  Mihailo Mihailitch turned round, took the girl’s head in both his hands, to her great astonishment, and kissed her on the forehead, then he went in to Alexandra Pavlovna.

  XI

  On returning home, directly after his meeting with Lezhnyov, Rudin shut himself up in his room, and wrote two letters; one to Volintsev (already known to the reader) and the other to Natalya. He sat a very long time over this second letter, crossed out and altered a great deal in it, and, copying it carefully on a fine sheet of note - paper, folded it up as small as possible, and put it in his pocket. With a look of pain on his face he paced several times up and down his room, sat down in the chair before the window, leaning on his arm; a tear slowly appeared upon his eyelashes. He got up, buttoned himself up, called a servant and told him to ask Darya Mihailovna if he could see her.

  The man returned quickly, answering that Darya Mihailovna would be delighted to see him. Rudin went to her.

  She received him in her study, as she had that first time, two months before. But now she was not alone; with her was sitting Pandalevsky, unassuming, fresh, neat, and agreeable as ever.

  Darya Mihailovna met Rudin affably, and Rudin bowed affably to her; but at the first glance at the smiling faces of both, any one of even small experience would have under
stood that something of an unpleasant nature had passed between them, even if it had not been expressed. Rudin knew that Darya Mihailovna was angry with him. Darya Mihailovna suspected that he was now aware of all that had happened.

  Pandalevsky’s disclosure had greatly disturbed her. It touched on the worldly pride in her. Rudin, a poor man without rank, and so far without distinction, had presumed to make a secret appointment with her daughter — the daughter of Darya Mihailovna Lasunsky.

  ‘Granting he is clever, he is a genius!’ she said, ‘what does that prove? Why, any one may hope to be my son - in - law after that?’

  ‘For a long time I could not believe my eyes.’ put in Pandalevsky. ‘I am surprised at his not understanding his position!’

  Darya Mihailovna was very much agitated, and Natalya suffered for it

  She asked Rudin to sit down. He sat down, but not like the old Rudin, almost master of the house, not even like an old friend, but like a guest, and not even a very intimate guest. All this took place in a single instant... so water is suddenly transformed into solid ice.

  ‘I have come to you, Darya Mihailovna,’ began Rudin, ‘to thank you for your hospitality. I have had some news to - day from my little estate, and it is absolutely necessary for me to set off there to - day.’

  Darya Mihailovna looked attentively at Rudin.

  ‘He has anticipated me; it must be because he has some suspicion,’ she thought. ‘He spares one a disagreeable explanation. So much the better. Ah! clever people for ever!’

  ‘Really?’ she replied aloud. ‘Ah! how disappointing! Well, I suppose there’s no help for it. I shall hope to see you this winter in Moscow. We shall soon be leaving here.’

  ‘I don’t know, Darya Mihailovna, whether I shall succeed in getting to Moscow, but, if I can manage it, I shall regard it as a duty to call on you.’

  ‘Aha, my good sir!’ Pandalevsky in his turn reflected; ‘it’s not long since you behaved like the master here, and now this is how you have to express yourself!’