Crowned with Guilt

by S. K. Rose

  Before I can react, his hand finds my neck, squeezing tight and cutting into my vocal chords as he slams me against the side of the building. Pain bursts through my head and panic floods all my senses as he cuts off my air supply. Eyes bulging, I frantically claw at his wrist and arm in an attempt to get him off, but he doesn’t flinch as my nails bite in and draw blood.

  He stalks closer until his body presses against mine and I feel his hardening dick grind against me. I’m consumed with horror—not because he’s getting off on choking me ‘cause men are pigs and nothing surprises me anymore—but the fact that he’s calculated and completely in control of his actions. This is not a rash act of passion, it’s just him unzipping his disguise and revealing his true character.

  “For once in your miserable life you’re going to watch that mouth, as I’ve no patience for it today. Sure, it’s cute at the club—I like a little sass in my girls, but you haven’t been to the club now, have you? Never had a reason to punish you before, little butterfly. I gave you a bed and food when you came crawling back to me. How do you repay me? By disappearing? By moving in with some rich cunts? Do you think you’re too good for me now?”

  God, has he been watching me?

  His grip releases ever so slightly, allowing air to trickle back into my lungs. I inhale greedily. In the shuffle, I’d knocked off his sunglasses leaving his eyes free to show a disconcerting mixture of displeasure and excitement.

  With a burst of fear seizing my spine, I realize he may actually kill me in this disgusting alley. He could easily end my life in any number of ways. I would be dead within seconds, and my gloomy little story would be over.

  Sad little Tessa will rot in a dirty alley as the Reaper finally faces her own reaping.

  “I’m sorry, Ace,” I croak out, never breaking eye contact and willing myself to just stay alive whatever way I can. I’ve survived so much and this is just one more hurdle. His mouth spreads into a huge, toothy smile at my submission, and the way his mood shifts suddenly makes me nauseous. Removing his hand from my throat, I’m still pinned against the wall by his body as he begins running his fingers over my head, fixing the wild strands of tangled hair and gently smoothing them back into place. When he nods, satisfied with his work, his hands fall to my cheek where he cradles it. The gesture would be intimate if the circumstances weren't so fucked up. I hold myself still as much as I want to tear away from his touch.

  “There, there, butterfly, no need to be afraid, I’ve taken a shining to you over the years. You’re the wildest little butterfly I’ve ever caught, and my important clients, well, they just can’t get enough of you.”

  Not trusting myself to speak, I simply nod. My breath hitches as his hand begins to travel. He brushes the hair off my neck and stretches the loose collar of my shirt to the side until my bare shoulder peeks out. I whimper, and unable to keep still any longer, I shudder away from his touch. He responds with a deadly look that makes my blood run cold. I force my body to stop squirming.

  “That’s a good girl,” he coos. “A smart little butterfly knows when to listen.” Bringing his mouth to my bare shoulder, his tongue slowly licks the cold sweat from my skin, as he simultaneously traces a finger across my collarbone.

  When he speaks I feel the heat from his breath. “You run off that mouth of yours and strut your tight ass around my club, but underneath it all there's an obedient girl.” He sinks his teeth down into my shoulder and I whimper in pain. My throat’s suddenly free and I gasp in air. His free hand wastes no time in beginning its exploration. Finding the bottom of my shirt, he slips underneath, sliding his fingers across my flat stomach. Shoving my bra out of the way he cups my bare breasts. My entire body trembles as he roughly pinches and tugs on one of my nipples, his eyes bore into mine, daring me to fight back.

  I imagine him feeding off my fear like some sort of demon from hell. A hysterical giggle threatens to rupture from my throat as I picture Ace with bat-like wings and horns.

  His voice rumbles on naturally. “Very soon you will be graduating, leaving you free to come work for me full-time. Free to come dance in my cage and learn to be an obedient little butterfly.” He licks his lips, and both his hands moving together glide around to slip inside my jeans and grip my bare ass. Bringing his face inches from mine, I turn away, furious at the weakness I show by my trembling bottom lip.

  “If you run, I will hurt you. I will pluck off your wings and make you beg for mercy. Do you understand me?” he snarls directly in my ear, and I respond with a nod. With a furious growl and a hard squeeze to my ass, his hands pull out of my jeans and I’m slammed once again against the brick wall. My vision wavers as pain shoots down my spine.

  “You will respond when asked a question.” His voice is calm and collected again, the unleashed rage nowhere to be seen.

  “Y-yes, I understand.” I hate how small I sound, as though I’ve regressed into that meek, frightened child I once was.

  When he finally releases me, my knees buckle and I slide to the ground. I watch warily as he meticulously brushes off his clothes, picks up and inspects his sunglasses, and places them in his vest pocket.

  As if I’d been already forgotten, his eyes never return to me. Once satisfied with his appearance, he turns on his heels, walks out of the alley, and is gone.

  After a few minutes, my vision returns to normal, and my hands stop shaking. I nudge my bra back into place and straighten my shirt.

  I return to the store, and get hurried into a fitting room by a scolding Blossom.

  Chapter 39

  ─────

  Andrew

  Homework finished, controller in my hands, but my mind is anywhere but on shooting zombies. Something took over me again today, and this time I didn’t fight it. Her feisty attitude and challenging eyes unlock something brazen within me. I couldn’t hold back any longer—I needed to touch her, to taste her.

  I went on a few dates in Chicago, they were nothing special, and I’ve certainly never had a kiss that felt like fireworks shooting through my veins. It had been almost painful to pull away, but worth it to see her puffy pink lips and lustful eyes gazing back at me.

  I kissed her scowl away and replaced it with a breathtaking smile. I can still feel the way her lithe body felt under my hands, the goosebumps that broke out across her skin, the way she wiggled under my touch, and all the cute noises she made when my stubble tickled her.

  Willing my hard-on to go away, I turn my thoughts over to the school dance. She’d agreed, but it had taken some convincing.

  I kind of hope she’s always this stubborn, that she’ll always require that kind of convincing.

  I somehow doubt that she’s ever been to a school function before, and this will be waaay out of her comfort zone. I’ll just have to team up with Beth and make sure she has the best night of her life.

  She deserves that; to just be a teenager and have some fun.

  The girls come through the front door with huge shopping bags in their hands. Marybeth is chattering away, but Tessa is quiet, which is normal, but the expression on her face is anything but normal.

  Like the light in her eyes has dimmed.

  I help the girls with their bags, and Mom with dinner. Keeping a watchful eye on Tessa, I notice she’s even more withdrawn than usual. I make it a point to talk to her as soon as we have a minute alone, but I don’t get the chance.

  She excuses herself from the dinner table after picking at her food (much to my mom's disapproval), saying she felt under the weather.

  After the dishes are done, I watch an action flick with Marybeth and then turn in early myself.

  Worry crawls and plants itself in my mind as I fall into a fitful sleep.

  ʢ ʢ ʢ

  The school week crawls by, with little warning, everything has drastically changed.

  It’s as if our kiss never happened. Tessa speaks to me as little as possible and avoids all eye contact. Each morning, she comes out of her room with dark circles around her
eyes as though she’s not sleeping.

  I’ve attempted to ask her about it, but get aggressively shut down each time. The angry girl who was starting to let down her walls has slammed them back up and I have no clue as to why.

  Marybeth swears she doesn't know either, and from the way her worried gaze keeps being drawn to Tessa, I believe her. When Tessa does finally respond to a question, her answers are clipped, snide even. She’s respectful to my parents, at least, but turns in early each night to read.

  I can’t help but wonder if I’m to blame. I was forward and kissed her with no warning. Did I spring too much on her at once? Maybe the thought of going to the dance has freaked her out? Whatever the reason, after a few days of constantly being snarled at, I decided to take the hint.

  If she didn’t want to talk, then so be it. I don’t have the patience for these games.

  My mood sours with each passing day. My pride’s taken a severe beating, and the worst part is I have no idea why. I throw myself into playing basketball with the guys after school, grateful to have something to focus my pent-up frustration on.

  By Friday, I decide that enough is enough. The Spring Fling is tomorrow and I need to find out if she’s still going. I know for a fact she’d gotten a dress and everything, but with how the week has gone, who knows?

  I find her at the end of the lunch hour, reading in the hallway against her locker.

  “Tessa, we need to talk.” I shove down my pride and try to be kind, reminding myself I don’t know the whole story.

  “Hmmmm?” Her eyes never even leave the damn book.

  “Jesus, Tessa, what the hell is going on? Can you at least look at me?” I plead, and this time her eyes snap up, narrowing with anger.

  “Do you think just because we kissed that I’m your little bitch now? That I’m gonna follow you around like a puppy? Just leave me the fuck alone, Andrew.” Fear’s threaded into her words, but I’m too pissed to care why.

  “Fine,” I hiss and walk a few steps to my locker to get what I need. Slamming my locker shut I turn to head to class. Anger boils under my skin for being so easily rejected. Not paying attention, I knock right into someone.

  “Ouch!” Looking to see who I ran into, I find the girl from English. Bailey, I think, is her name. The irritated expression on her face smooths away quickly when she recognizes me, and her eyes flutter nervously as she rubs her elbow. She’s always nice to me in class, but I’ve been too wrapped up in someone else.

  Here is a beautiful girl in front of me; someone without baggage and drama.

  Tessa watches us from the corner of her eye where she’s pretending to still read her book. Good, now she can see that I’m over her, that I’m not some “puppy” like she thinks.

  “Aw, Bailey are you okay? Jeez, I’m such a klutz.” I give her an embarrassed smile, which she responds to with a small giggle.

  “It’s fine, it barely even hurts.” She bites her lip nervously, her cheeks flushed pink. She’s quite adorable with her dark hair, hazel eyes, and little upturned nose. I can’t believe I never noticed before.

  “Well let me be the judge of that.” I take her arm gently and pretend to inspect her elbow, “Looks like we won’t need to amputate it,” I say, giving her a wink, causing her to blush an even deeper red and emit another high-pitched giggle.

  “You’re such a goof, Andrew.” She gives a playful shove to my shoulder and then looks toward her friends nervously.

  “Well, since I almost barreled you right over, let me walk you to class.”

  She responds with a sweet smile and nods her head. Before I follow her, I shoot a quick glance over to Tessa, hoping to see a pissed off scowl on her face. Instead, she has that blank look again, a sad frown planted on her lips. Guilt washes over me as I turn to catch up to Bailey

  Before I can follow her into the classroom, I’m yanked in the opposite direction by my elbow. Considering the look on my sister’s face, I know, without a doubt, that she witnessed the whole thing. She’s freaking everywhere.

  Her pink hair sticks out in all directions, looking as wild as her eyes, as she crosses her arms and glares up at me. “What are you doing?” she hisses between gritted teeth.

  “I’ve tried, sis, I really have. You’ve seen how much of a jerk she’s been all week. Maybe she was just using us all along for a place to live. You ever th-think of that?” I regret the words as soon as they leave my mouth. From the corner of my eye, I see a flip of long brown hair. Whirling to look, I watch Tessa spins on her heels, walking back the way she came, hands clenched into fists at her side.

  She heard what I said. Crap.

  “Tess, wait!” I shout, but she makes a quick left and is gone.

  A tiny fist punches my shoulder and Marybeth yells as she wails into my arm. I catch her wrist and force her to stop, but tears well up in her eyes, and my heart pangs with an extra dose of guilt.

  “You idiot! There’s something wrong, Drew. She’s still learning to trust us, so she’s been bottling it up, but there’s clearly something wrong.”

  “She shut me out, and it’s driving me crazy. C-can’t she see how much I care? How much I love her, f-for God’s sake?” I pull at my hair in frustration.

  Wait, love?

  Marybeth gives a tiny gasp confirming that I did, in fact, say the words aloud. “Andrew, you love her?”

  “No! Well, maybe?” I sigh. “Yeah, I guess maybe I might. Stupid, huh? I Barely know her, really. What the hell is wrong with me?” I rub my forehead, feeling a headache coming on from the whiplash of emotions.

  Another tiny fist of fury lands on my bruising shoulder. “Will you please stop doing that?” I screech, rubbing my sore arm.

  “If you love her, why were you flirting with Bailey, you idiot?” she demands in frustration.

  “I don’t know! To get a reaction? To see if she would get pissed so I would know if she was even still interested in me?” I quickly move my hand to cover my shoulder as a preventative measure.

  She lets out an exasperated sigh. “She’s not like other girls, Drew. She’s been to hell and back and isn’t going to play childish games. She’s spent her life simply trying to survive, and when she’s obviously going through something, you decide to push her buttons to see if she'll get jealous? Seriously?” She’s transformed into Mom right before my eyes, and it’s slightly terrifying.

  “Okay, I get it, once again, I’m the idiot.” Running my fingers through my hair, I take a deep breath and try to figure out how to fix this mess I’ve gotten myself into.

  I don’t see Tessa the rest of the day.

  She’s disappeared again, and I can’t help but fidget the entire drive home. Stepping inside, I go directly to Tessa’s favorite spot in the house. It’s a cushioned bench that sits beneath a big window in the living room. I sigh a breath of relief when I find her curled up with a book, soaking in the sun as her dark hair spills neatly over the cushion. She’s wearing the same black band T-shirt she wore to school, but changed into cutoff jeans that show off her creamy thighs. The last of the day’s sunlight filters in through the window to cast a glow around her.

  Not for the first time, I find myself speechless by her effortless beauty.

  Sensing she’s being watched, her head snaps toward me, and for a second her eyes are wild with a frantic fear that I don’t understand. My sister was right; something is wrong and all I could think about was myself.

  She takes in a deep breath when she sees it’s me, her fear quickly replaced by a pained expression. Without a word her eyes return to the words on her book. Taking a seat next to her on the couch, I struggle to find the right words.

  “I’m sorry, Tessa, I’m such an ass.” I hope she hears the sincerity in my voice.

  With a sigh, she sits up and turns to look at me. “You don’t owe me an apology, Blackwell. I came to your home and invaded your life with my bullshit. Just know that I have never used you or your sister. She’s my only friend and I would never do that to her. As for
Bailey, she’s a sweet girl, from what I understand, and I think you should ask her to the dance. She’d be a better date, I guarantee it.” Her voice is calm, but I hear turmoil raging in the words she doesn’t say.

  As she stands to leave, I grab her hand and yank her into my lap. She’s stiff as a board, but doesn’t try to move away. “I don’t want Bailey, I was being an idiot, trying to make you jealous or something. I want to go to the dance with you, Tessa.” Her eyes dart between my eyes, lips, and the stairs as if she can’t make up her mind as to what she wants.

  “I can’t,” she whispers, and to my surprise, I see tears well up in her eyes that are quickly blinked back.

  “Please tell me what’s wrong, you can trust me,” I plead, looking deep into her sapphire eyes. For a moment she opens her mouth and looks as if she might tell me the truth, but her mouth snaps shut and the barrier remains.

  “I can’t, I’m sorry,” she whispers and jumps up, fleeing to her room before I can convince her otherwise.

  Flopping back onto the couch, I close my eyes, contemplating the frustrating mystery of the female species.

  Chapter 40

  ─────

  Tessa

  I race to my bedroom and slam the door behind me. I crawl into my inviting bed and let the tears fall freely. He cornered me with those giant puppy dog eyes and it was almost game-fucking-over. All I wanted to do was beg his forgiveness for being such a repulsive bitch. Dragging myself out of his lap almost broke my sanity, but I have to keep my resolve.

  I crawled into Ace’s web a long time ago, I can’t be surprised now that I’m all tangled up. My eyes grow heavy and I release myself from the burden of consciousness.