He came up with a plan to protect her, and then set about doing it, “Okay, it’s done, there’s nothing we can do about it, it could be his or mine, if it’s his then we’ll have to deal with that. I know it’s a possibility but I think the likelihood of it being his is unlikely. He was only with you on a club night, so the possibility of it being mine is the better option. Let’s get out of this house, out of this neighborhood, I can’t stand it here anymore,” and he was thinking I need to get Joy out of here, I don’t want anybody talking to her or messing with her about what went down at that club or I might have to hurt a few folks and if it gets out the baby might be Royce’s the flames will be burning against her he was sure about that, and within the month they found a house and were gone and the whole time he prayed and believed the baby was his.
And then he’d get pissed at Joy, “She didn’t even know to use a condom,” and the thought of Royce inside her, touching her, feeling her, moving inside her hurt him so bad, not only was a condom protection, it was also a barrier from the actual act, it wasn’t skin on skin, the man didn’t deposit his seed in the woman, but Royce did. Royce had her skin on skin and he’d come inside her and that drove him nearly insane thinking of that, but he made himself believe and he still loved Joy, and blamed himself for this outcome too. He was the one who gave the okay for them to join The Club, he was the one who let the white man have her and this was the consequence, and he tried not to blame Joy, but he did, he blamed her for being just plain stupid.
And when her time came he drove fast to the hospital. They knew it was a boy; Joy wanted to know so she could get the nursery done. His blue and green room with little fairies in a forest painted on the walls was ready and waiting for him and he was going to be Justin Michael Abrams. He held her through her contractions until it was time for her to push, and then he was behind her urging her to push and when he saw the pale baby being pulled from between her legs he was crushed and the older he got the more he looked like the white man who made him, right down to the blue fucking eyes.
But he’d promised Joy he’d raise him as his own and he was doing that. Even though at the last minute she changed his name to Justin Royce, “It’s so he’ll have something of his Michael, at least I can do that for him,” she’d said and he let it slide, but that hurt him too. That she’d thought of the white man to include him, and now he sat across the dinner table and he glanced at Joy. She was terrible at hiding anything, she was a terrible liar and at sex clubs, he thought. He could see something was on her mind and after dinner he went into his office and a few minutes later she came in and he knew he was about to hear what it was. She sat down in the chair across from his desk,
“Royce was here today,” she said and that was the last thing he’d expected to hear.
“Royce Harrington was here in this house today,” he repeated to be clear of what she said.
He saw her looking cautiously at him, “Yes.”
“How did he find us Joy, did you call him, did you have something to do with this?”
She looked up at him, “No of course not, you didn’t want me to contact him remember,” and he knew she was telling the truth. Joy was a terrible liar, the guilt showed on her face and in her eyes, and Joy was thinking Royce had saved her the trouble and Michael’s wrath because she was going to contact him one day she was sure of that.
“So how did he find us then?”
“I don’t know,” she’d never asked. Joy entertained the idea and believed that somehow her thoughts had traveled along some imaginary mental line that connected all people, that she’d tapped into the higher power we all believed in since she’d thought of Royce so much this past year. During her pregnancy, after Justin was born, every time she looked at him and saw Royce’s face and because she knew she had to tell him that somehow she believed she’d conjured him up, willed him to think of her and come to her.
Michael was eyeing her, this situation was getting the better of him, his restraint was all he had and now Royce Harrington was here. I’ll find out from him, he thought, “Well what did he want? I’m sure he knows about the baby,” and the thought crossed his mind maybe that was why he’d come, he’d heard about the baby from somewhere. “Yes, he knows, he was here I couldn’t deny him,” Joy said looking down and Michael eyed her, “So now the cat’s out the bag.” “Yes and I told him what we wanted, that we wanted to raise him as our own and that we didn’t want anything from him.” “Good, how did he take that?” “Not very well, but I’ll keep trying to convince him,” Joy knew this is what Michael wanted and for him she’d do it. Michael had saved her from the humiliation she would have gone through and he was willing to raise a child that wasn’t his, and she was willing to accept his terms if that meant he would stay with her. “That’s good Joy, but I want to speak with him, you have his number,” “Yes, but I’ll set it up,” she said quickly, “I think it’s best if it comes from me,” and Michael eyed her again, “Okay then set it up,” he said cautiously.
He was tired of talking about Royce Harrington, the guy made him angry, he could feel it rising up and he didn’t want to be angry at Joy. He wanted to love her tonight, no matter what he loved Joy, always had and always would and no one not even Royce Harrington could change that. He stood up from his desk he was no longer in the mood to work; talking about Royce had done that too. He went into their room with Joy behind him and he began taking off his clothes, he was quiet now. When he was done, naked he walked into the bathroom. Joy heard the shower turn on, he popped his head through the open door a sexy smile on his face, “Join me baby,” he said. Joy smiled and was glad he wasn’t mad. She stripped and walked into the bathroom and stepped into the warm water and into his arms. He pulled her towards him and began kissing her sweet lips, “Oh Joy,” he murmured, and kissed her deeper, he kissed down her shoulder, oh she was so soft, then he kissed down to her breast, Joy was his, and his alone, he thought. He picked her up and leaned her against the shower wall and pushed inside her, kissing her sweet lips, the lips he loved to suck and kiss on, kissable lips is what she had, kissable lips. He pushed deeper and moved with pleasure inside her, his strokes long and smooth, the warm water washing over him. Joy was his filled his mind, Joy was his.
For the next week Royce found himself going over to Joy’s. He’d get up go to the office and somewhere in the day he would find himself packing up and saying to Ms. Severs, “I’ll be out for a while,” and he’d head straight to Joy’s. He wasn’t concentrating on work anyway. He’d sit at his desk supposedly working, looking over the company and strategies to make it more profitable and the numbers would go fuzzy and his mind would fill with Joy or Justin.
He’d been so happy to see Joy and he loved spending time with her, she was the Joy he knew and loved. He liked her, the woman she was and he was drawn to her like a river to an ocean and he could feel it in his being that she was what he needed. She was the sustenance he needed to grow, to be whole, he felt her heat, her passion, he felt her soul and he drew from it and he was uplifted. And Justin, he marveled at the child he and Joy made, he was beautiful, his mass of dark curly hair, and his blue eyes just like his amazed him. He was a happy baby, his little smile always there for his father, and Royce loved playing with him, holding him and just plain looking at him, looking at the child he made with Joy.
“I’ll be back,” he said to Ms. Severs. She nodded like it wasn’t out of the ordinary but he’d been doing this all week. He’d just up and leave and would be gone for hours, it was unlike him, most of the time he was there before her and still there long after she left, but something was on his mind. He wasn’t there mentally she knew that, even when he was at the office physically, mentally he was somewhere else and a few times she’d had to tap him on the shoulder to make him aware of her presence when she’d been calling him several times and he hadn’t heard her. Ms. Severs watched him as he stepped into the elevator and she saw the happiness on his face, and she was glad to see him his old self again.
This past year he seemed to carry sadness around with him. She saw his smile as the door closed and she knew he was already gone and she was right Royce’s mind was already with Joy and Justin.
Joy had been letting Royce do the things she would normally do for Justin. She’d prepare a bottle of breast milk and let him feed him. He changed his diapers, and lie on the floor and play with him. Justin was trying to crawl and his efforts were monumental; he was trying to get up on his knees and plopping right back down and he and Joy would laugh and smile at his efforts. Justin loved when Royce dangled toys in front of him; he always reached for them and tried to pull them away. Joy was introducing new foods to him and that was a sight as well, “I’m trying asparagus,” she’d said yesterday. She opened the jar, warmed up the food and it was funny to see Justin close his eyes and scrunch up his face at the taste. They both laughed.
Royce fed him a jar of bananas while he sat in his highchair while Joy worked in the kitchen always preparing something. Royce had no idea what, but she was always doing something in there, “I need to get prepped for dinner,” she always said and he’d sit at the kitchen table and play with Justin while she did chopping, mixing, measuring and they’d talk, about everything really but mostly about Justin and how much involvement he was to have with him.
He drove up to her gate, the attendant waved him in, he was becoming a regular, the guards knew him and he knew them. The gate opened and he drove through, a big smile on his face. Joy let him in, “I swear Royce the neighbors are going to start talking if we keep meeting like this,” she joked. She never knew when he was going to show up but over the past week, either in the morning after she dropped off the kids or in the afternoon he’d come. She didn’t know the guards at the gate were already trying to figure out if he was her lover or there on business. He laughed and went straight in and picked up Justin, who was as usual on his blanket on the floor, toys all around him. “Hey buddy,” he said holding him in the air and looking up at him, “How you doing today?” He cooed to him, with one hand he maneuvered out of his jacket and tossed it on the sofa.
Joy went into the kitchen, he went in too, like the house her kitchen was Spanish style, beautiful in bright yellow and red accent Spanish tiles as backsplash in a Spanish motif bordered around her walls. She had vegetables out washing them and preparing them for whatever she was making for dinner that night. He had no idea Joy loved to cook until he’d been coming over so much, but she loved it and he asked her all the time, “What are you making?,” and the answers always amazed him, “Oh pizza dough, we’re making pizza tonight,” or, “I’m chopping vegetables and seasoning the meat for fajitas,” “Pie crust, I like to make it ahead of time,” things like that.
“Joy we have to come to an agreement on this,” he said to start them discussing Justin again. “I know Royce, but we have to be careful.” “What do you mean?” “I mean we have to look out for him, how are we going to explain how he came to be? You were married, I was married. How it was all because we were careless and didn’t use condoms huh? How are we going to explain that?” She asked turning to look at him. “Is that what you think we were careless?” It wasn’t careless on his part, he just didn’t want to use one that’s all, he wanted her, wanted to feel inside her, wanted his sensitive engorged head to touch and feel every inch of her. He wanted to know how she felt inside and to feel her wetness all over him and a condom would prevent that and he’d chosen not to use one.
“Yes, we were careless Royce,” and she’d had to listen to Michael and see his hurt and distain on that issue. He abhorred the fact that she hadn’t thought to use a condom and for her she couldn’t believe she never thought to use one either. How it just never came up and she accepted that, she didn’t know who to blame her or Royce for not thinking of that, she went on. “How else can you explain it? We didn’t think of our spouses, we didn’t think of ourselves and the consequences and now look...,” and she paused and he looked at her, wondering was she going to say Justin was a mistake? This beautiful baby was a mistake and he didn’t want her to think like that, “Even so Joy, condoms break, it still could have happened if we used a condom or not,” he said using the lie he would tell Tammy later.
Royce thought her having his child was divine intervention; that it was meant to be, it was going to happen and the powers of heaven had spoken. “Maybe so, but still…,” she paused again, thinking of how Michael felt about that, that he’d thought they’d been stupid as hell, “That’s Sex Club 101 Joy, how could you not protect yourself and me for that matter?” He’d asked her and she winced. “What’s the matter?” Royce asked seeing her react to something and with her back to him she said, “It’s just we should have used a condom Royce,” and she felt her body react to something different.
The thought of him as he made love to her; she saw them in their passion, free, uninhibited, abandoned to the pleasure and a condom never crossed her mind. She wanted Royce just the way she had him, yeah, she’d been stupid, she thought and Royce watched her. He could see her mind working on something, and he thought too of them in their passion. Her legs spread wide and the wild tingling sensation coursing through his body and he didn’t want a condom in the way of that and he felt the heat rising in his body. He watched Joy and thought of her naked, her arms wrapped around him and her cries of passion and a smile came on his face.
She turned and looked at him, his mind deep in thought a smile on his face, “What are you smiling about?” She asked and he looked at her, “Oh nothing,” he said, but she smiled and went back to her vegetables like she knew. “Oh and Michael wants to meet with you,” Michael had gotten tired of her telling him Royce wouldn’t budge and she could see his look of disappointment, and now he thought it was up to him to handle this, and she felt inept, like everything was her fault and she couldn’t do anything right when it came to this situation. “Oh why?” “You know to discuss Justin with you.” “Yeah okay, he won’t change my mind if that’s what he’s thinking,” Royce said matter of fact and Joy smiled inwardly, good then it wasn’t her that wasn’t good at persuading, but then her smile disappeared because Michael was good at persuading and if he got Royce to do what she couldn’t she’d never live that down. “Can you meet tonight after dinner, say around eight?” “Yeah sure,” and Royce turned his attention to Justin who he’d been holding.
He sat him in his highchair, “You got something for him to snack on?” “Sure, look in the pantry and get him his teething biscuits, he likes those, it works his gums,” she said and he went into her pantry and he saw how organized it was, everything neat, stacked and labeled, Joy was so orderly, that was something he was learning about her too. “Yeah I can see that he’s got two teeth already and two more coming in,” and Joy looked at him in surprise, she didn’t know he knew that. “Hey buddy,” he said, and handed Justin a biscuit. Justin smiled at him and Royce touched his cheek, this was his son, his son.
Later he went back to the office feeling the same, happy and sad; happy to spend time with Joy and Justin, and sad that he couldn’t convince her to see this from his point of view. He was usually good at getting what he wanted, but this thing she couldn’t see, couldn’t see that now that he knew he had a son with her that he couldn’t just easily walk away from that, just live across town like he didn’t know he existed. He ran his fingers through his hair. “Why can’t she see how dumb that is?” He asked himself, “What man in his right mind would go for something like that?” He couldn’t understand her logic in this, why she wanted him out of his son’s life. He walked back into the office, his mind still far away and never noticed how everyone looked at him, wondering what he was up too, and all of them suspected he was up to something especially Bobby.
Bobby had been watching him all week and saw how far away and deep in thought he’d been, and since Royce had barely been himself the past year he was letting it go, pretending not to notice but something was up with him. He went to Royce’s office, “Hey man what’s up?”
“Oh hey Bobby not much, what’s going on with the Miller contract?”
“Oh it’s under control, still negotiating a few minor points but we’re moving on it.”
“Good, that’s good,” Royce said.
“What’s going on man? You seem so distant, I don’t want to pry but hey you’re my friend too as well as business partner,” he said hoping Royce would bite.
“Yeah I know man,” Royce said looking at him, he didn’t know if he should tell Bobby or not, he knew he wouldn’t approve, no one in his circle would approve he knew that, but he needed someone to run this by, to get another opinion, to see if he was right in this or Joy.
“I found Joy,” he said looking at Bobby to get his reaction and he got it. Bobby’s eyes got big and he plopped down in his office chair.
“You found her, where is she?”
“Los Colinas”
“And have you spoken to her?”
“Yeah, that’s what I’ve been doing the past week,” and Bobby eyes got even bigger.
”Okay, please tell me you’re not seeing her again man,” and Royce could see the deep concern for him.
“No, no nothing like that,” he reached into his drawer and pulled out a large orange envelope and handed it to Bobby. Bobby opened it and pulled out pictures, lots of pictures.
“Oh my God,” he said as he scanned through the pictures; he saw Justin as a newborn and the name “Justin Royce Abrams” etched at the bottom of the photo with his length and weight, another of Joy smiling and holding him and he saw a professional picture of him lying on a white bear skin rug, smiling his blue eyes playful, another of him a little younger maybe a month old, not smiling but his blue eyes staring into the camera, and then he saw smaller pictures taken with a home camera of Royce holding him, feeding him, playing with him and others with Joy holding him, looking at him and one of all of them looking like a happy family.
Royce Page 13