Joy met him at the house the next day, “Oh Royce, this is nice,” she said excitedly, it was a beautiful house, the outside façade was a combination of brick and stonework, it had five bedrooms, it was sixty-five hundred square feet with a nice large beautiful designer pool, a large kitchen with gourmet appliances, a beautiful winding staircase and thick cream colored wall to wall carpeting throughout. They walked through the house, “I think I’ll make this Justin’s room it’s the closet to mine.” “Good, I like it Royce, I can call the artist and set it up after you close, okay,” and as they walked through the house another idea came to him. He didn’t want to look like a bachelor desperately in need of a woman’s touch, he wanted his house to look like a home, a home like Joy’s, he loved her style.
“I could actually use your help for the house if you can do it Joy. I really want it to be a home for me and the kids, I don’t want it to look like daddy’s empty house, you know what I mean.” “Oh yeah, of course,” she said. “I like what you did in your house; you think you could do that here?” She looked at him wide eyed, “Are you asking me to decorate your house?” She asked in shock and he hoped he hadn’t gone too far, “Well yeah, only if you can though, I understand if it’s too much to ask.” “Are you kidding me, I’d love too!” She said smiling and she high fived him, “I love decoratin, what’s my budget?” She joked with him and he was ecstatic, Joy was going to help him.
And that was the beginning.
He was divorced from Tammy; well they’d had their court date and signed off on their agreement. They were waiting the thirty days now, he didn’t want to fight with her so he gave her the house and a nice settlement plus child support. He wanted to move on, but now he had visitation set up for Karen and Dillon too. The good thing was it was summer when he left and that made it easier to see them without too much of a problem, but now it was the start of a new school year and his scheduled visits would make it easier on him and them.
Joy was decorating a room for them too and when he asked Karen what she liked she said, “I like purple daddy, my favorite color is purple,” and Dillon said, “I don’t know,” so Joy asked, “What does he like to do?” “Are you kidding me, he’s a nine year old boy, I can’t get him away from video games!” “I know, I got one too,” he came home to find Joy holding Justin and watching the artist paint fairies on his walls, fairies peeping from behind trees, fairies sitting on top of lily pads, fairies sprinkling fairy magic dust in a forest of lush green trees and after the fairies she had the muralist move to Karen’s room and she painted Karen’s room purple and gold. The walls purple and striped down the walls was gold scroll work and symbols fit for a queen.
Her bed had a purple princess canopy that was draped and pulled back, a chaise old world lounger upholstered in gold, plush purple and gold diamond checked royal pillows were placed perfectly upon the lounger, gold draperies with the same scroll work and symbols except in purple, the room was beautiful and opulent.
Dillon’s room was next, his walls were dark blue, and on one wall was painted the bottom half of a boy, all you could see were his jean clad legs, feet in tennis shoes, one lace undone, he was sitting Indian style and in his hands was a video controller and he appeared to be working it, and around the room on the walls were video game icons, there were Tetris symbols in a row, spaceships blowing up enemies, Donkey Kong on a tall building, Mario Brothers walking and taking an apple, race cars speeding down a track, his bed was done up in khaki.
Royce’s room was painted a beautiful soft light brown and Joy had found a caramel colored leather lounger, it was extra wide and comfortable, his bed coverings dark brown, black and cream, decorative pillows filled out the bed and lounger, a tall antique dresser with an old style mirror was on one wall and in front of the bed was a dark wood armoire which opened up to an entertainment center, TV, stereo, everything he would need to satisfy the ladies. His room had a warm inviting feeling and he loved it.
After the painters left Royce came home to his house decorated and ready for him to move right in and he saw a note on his coffee table,
Royce,
Welcome to your new home, and I hope I didn’t break the bank since you didn’t give me a budget!
I hope you love it as much as I had fun decorating it,
Enjoy,
Joy.
He walked around his home and he didn’t recognize the place. Joy had done a wonderful job as he knew she would and he knew he wouldn’t look like some desperate bachelor living in a big empty house, This is nice. If I date anyone I’ll have a hard time getting them to leave, he thought to himself. He called Joy, “I love it, just love it,” she beamed, “I’m so glad Royce,” “Now it’s time to start bringing the kids over,” he said excitedly.
That weekend he showed up on time to pick up Justin, and this time Joy didn’t cry, she handed Justin over to him with a smile. He drove over to The Enclave and called Tammy on his cell phone, “Tammy, would you let Karen and Dillon know I’m outside waiting.” “Sure Royce, but you can come in.” He’d been going inside all summer, but he had Justin in the car and he didn’t want to take him out his car seat and then have to put him back in again, “It’s okay I’ll wait out here. Has anybody walked Duke?” That had been a sore spot for him at their divorce, he’d asked for the dog saying, “I’m the one who takes care of him, I walk him, I take him to the vet,” but he didn’t feed him. Tammy did that and she countered hard on wanting to keep the dog, “I feel safe with a dog in the house your honor, and Duke is big and he’s protective,” and in the end she got to keep the dog, and all this summer when he came over to see the kids he would walk Duke.
He didn’t mention he had Justin in the car, that was another sore spot for him at their divorce. Tammy tried to have it stipulated that he not have the children over at the same time, that Justin come one weekend and Karen and Dillon another and he refused telling her, “You can’t tell me when and how to see my children, any of them,” the judge agreed and he won that round and he thought it best to see all the children at once and he hoped it would work. He was worried still about Karen and Dillon, especially Karen. He wanted to figure her out and not think of her as the monster he thought she was. He saw the front door open and Karen and Dillon come out their heads down. They walked slowly to the car and Justin started whining as Royce pulled off and before he turned the corner he was crying full out.
“What’s the matter buddy?” Royce was saying but he was driving, “Look in his diaper bag and give him a bottle,” he said to Dillon. Dillon rummaged around and found a bottle and gave it to Justin who pushed it away and kept crying. Karen gave Justin a heated look. Royce saw that, he was not going to tolerate bad behavior from her, “Don’t look at him like that, it’s not nice and you know it,” he said looking squarely at her, “I will not put up with any of what went on at your mother’s,” he said over Justin’s cries, and Justin cried and Dillon tried everything Royce told him too. He pulled out toys, food, teething biscuits and Justin pushed or threw them all away, even offering French fries or ice-cream didn’t work.
They arrived home to Justin in hysterics, and for Karen and Dillon this was the Justin they knew. He cried all the time and was whiny, and Karen hated him, and Dillon just didn’t know what to make of him or this situation.
Hurriedly they went in the house, Royce was holding a crying and trying to get away Justin, “I’ll show you your rooms,” he said quickly. He took Justin to his room and put him in his crib and tried to give him a bottle, Justin frantically turned his head away, he left him to cry and closed the door. Royce felt he knew why he cried, it was Karen, it was seeing Karen, he was frantic with concern now. He raced back into the family room and he could hear Justin’s wails, “This is nice daddy, you had a great decorator.” “Thanks, I’ll show you around later, let me show you your rooms, hurry I’ve got to get back to him.” He was worried, he ran upstairs and they quickly followed and he showed them their rooms and they gasped when they walked in
and both were pleased. “Okay get settled and we’ll have dinner…or something,” he said as he ran downstairs. He went into Justin’s room he was still crying, not as loudly, and Royce thought it was over, but the minute he saw him he burst into his loud cries, his face red and scrunched up.
Royce picked him up and sat in the pale green stuffed rocker and rocked and tried to soothe him but he still cried. He took him back out to the family room and walked him around and Justin was trying to get down. He was pushing against him, and stiffening his little body, he wanted nothing to do with Royce and Royce knew why, he’d brought the one who hurt him right back into his life, and Royce wanted to cry. He reached into his pocket took out his cell phone and called Joy.
Joy picked up the phone and she heard Justin’s loud wails, “Oh my god Royce what happened!” She was worried. “Joy he won’t stop crying, I don’t know what to do…I can’t get him to stop,” he said in a panic. “I’ll be right over.”
Michael was home now and he saw her answer the phone and put her hand over her heart, “Its Justin, I’ll be back,” she picked up her keys and ran out the door. Michael was not happy about that, he went behind her, “What is it Joy? What can’t he do this time?” His anger clearly showing, “Its Justin, Michael he needs me,” she started the car. He stopped her by knocking on her window, “You have to let him handle these things Joy, he has to learn, sink or swim!” “Michael, it’s not him, it’s Justin, I’m doing this for Justin,” she backed out and left Michael standing there.
Joy drove fast to Royce’s and rang the doorbell and through the door she could hear Justin’s wails. Royce opened the door, she could see his eyes, worried, concerned, scared, he handed her Justin. “It’s okay baby boy, it’s okay,” she tried to soothe him, but Justin was in no mood for anything, he was having a complete ballistic crying fest. Joy went to Justin’s room when she saw he wasn’t responding to her voice. Royce stood in the middle of the family room, he didn’t know what to do with himself, he ran his fingers through his hair.
Joy closed the door and sat down in the pale green stuffed rocker, “It’s okay baby boy, Mommy’s here,” she tried to soothe him. Royce could still hear Justin’s wails and he was grateful Joy was here, and less than a minute later it was silent, no more crying, “What the hell… what did she do?”
He walked down the hall and quietly opened Justin’s door, he saw Joy sitting in the rocker her blouse open, her red lace bra unhooked in the front and he saw Justin nursing at her breast. She was saying soothing words to him and he walked in and gently closed the door. Joy looked up at him and smiled. He walked over to them, Justin wasn’t crying, but he was winding down, making little sounds and faces like he was going to cry, but then he’d suck more milk from his mother. Royce got on his knees in front of Joy; this had upset him more than he wanted to admit. He put his arms around her, he was thankful she was here, but he knew why Justin cried, it was Karen, and now he didn’t know what to do, he held on to Joy.
He laid his head against her as she nursed Justin. Joy could see he was clearly upset, that this was bothering him, “It’s okay Royce, it happens, babies cry, it’s not the end of the world,” she said softly. He lay his head against her and held her, “I know but I couldn’t get him to stop Joy. I couldn’t get him to stop,” he said sadly, with her free hand she held him and caressed his face and ran her fingers along his hair. “It’s okay Royce, we’ve all been there.” “Have you Joy, have you been there?” “Of course I have, it happens Royce, he just has to get use to coming to stay with you again that’s all,” he held her tighter, no it was Karen, he thought, Joy soothed him and Justin both. Justin was quieter now and Royce needed her, she caressed him and soothed him too.
After a while his knees hurt like hell, but he didn’t want to leave Joy’s warmth, he didn’t want to leave her soothing words and soft caresses, he needed her, needed what only she could give, a sanctuary, a safe place to fall, and he needed that or he would fall to pieces.
Joy soothed him with her caresses and kissed the top of his forehead, her calm warmth radiating to him and apparently Justin too. Royce saw his little arm, the hand he had been using to rest on his mother’s breast fall away limp he was asleep, and Royce couldn’t stop holding on to Joy.
Joy could still feel the tight tension in Royce, this had gotten to him, mentally gotten to him, and she didn’t want that. Royce was easy, he had a boyish charm and a playful side, she wanted him to still be that, she didn’t want this to change him; she wanted him to be Royce. Justin needed him to be Royce and she was going to help him, help him not lose himself.
She kissed the top of his forehead, “Let me lay him down,” he released her, but he wanted to hold her more. She eased up gently and laid Justin down in his crib, and pulled his blanket over him and he wanted to scream, “NO! Not in here, Karen is here!” But he let her or he knew he’d have to explain why and he didn’t want to do that, he’d already told so many lies, he didn’t want to tell another. She adjusted her bra, hooked it and buttoned her blouse. She walked to the door and turned off the switch that worked his lamp, his nightlight came on automatically. She eased the door closed.
She walked to the master bedroom Royce close behind and closed the door, “Are you okay Royce?” She asked softly looking deep into his eyes. “Yeah, I’m getting there,” and Joy could see in his eyes he wasn’t where he needed to be yet. “Come on,” she took his hand and walked to the leather lounger. “This is a great chair and it was a great buy too,” she scooted back on the lounger and he went with her, “I found it on sale at a leather store going out of business.” She pulled him in her arms and with her arms around him she stroked his hair and he nestled against her, against her warmth, “It’ll get easier Royce, it’s just his first visit.”
“I hope so,” he held her, his arms around her, “I don’t know what I’m doing Joy. I’m a terrible father, I can’t even stop a baby from crying.”
“No, no Royce, it just got the best of you this time, that’s all, and you’re a great father…”
“No, I’m not,” and he wanted to say I didn’t protect him.
Don’t be so hard on yourself, all your kids love you, you know that. Justin loves you, he was just upset tonight and he doesn’t have the communication skills to let you know what’s bothering him yet, all he can do is cry,” she said softly, and he was thinking, thank God or he’d tell you I let Karen brutalize him.
“I don’t know Joy, I feel like a…like I don’t know what I’m doing, like I…I don’t have what it takes to do this.”
“Oh Royce don’t think that…I mean after all it’s been a rough year for you… Most people don’t go through what you’ve been through…” “Like?” He asked. “Well you found out you had a baby by…” “By what Joy?” “By me, a woman not your wife,” and he held her closer and she felt his lips against her throat as he said, “That was the best thing that happened to me Joy. I love him so much, god I love him so much, that was a good thing that happened to me this year,” he said against her, “Oh baby don’t feel bad about that,” he said his warm lips against her soft skin.
“Well still even if it was good it was unexpected. You had a court case to get through and on top of all that you got divorced, it’s been a tough year for you Royce,” and he didn’t feel that way, it was Justin that bothered him, his reaction to Karen. “And,” she continued, “Maybe it’s just that you miss what you had, the family you had and…you miss your wife,” she added and he scoffed, “That is the last thing I miss, believe me when I say this Joy divorcing Tammy was one of the best things that happened to me this year,” and Joy laughed in spite of the seriousness of what he said, he laughed a little too, “Okay, I won’t go there then.”
“It’s the kids I worry about, the kids I’m concerned with. I want to make sure they’re okay with all this,” and Joy kissed his forehead, “See and you think you’re not a good father, you are Royce, you are a good father. Only a good father would think about his chil
dren in a situation like this,” yeah, he was thinking he hoped he wasn’t raising a psychopath, a sociopath and a scarred little boy.
“Keep doing right by them Royce, all you can do is keep doing the right thing and everything should turn out okay.” “I know, but I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing,” and Joy didn’t want him to be like this, she didn’t want him to be so hard on himself, she needed him to be Royce, Justin needed him to be Royce. “I know babe, but trust in yourself, listen to your heart and you can’t go wrong, okay,” and Royce heard her call him babe, and he loved it, and her words hit home, trust in yourself and follow your heart.
Royce relaxed and laid back, he grabbed one of the decorative pillows and placed it under his head and he rested against the armrest. Joy felt him finally wind down, he was like a tightly woven spinning top, she felt him relax and she held on not wanting to let him go. She was relaxed holding Royce, one leg draped across him, he was sitting sideways on the lounger, his long legs stretched out in front of him, his upper torso pressed against her holding her. She saw his strong muscled thighs and wanted nothing more than to run her hands up and down them feeling their strength. She knew Michael would go ballistic if he saw what she was doing, but there was something about Royce and he needed her right now.
They stayed talking for a long time before Joy said, “I better go,” and he said, “I know, I didn’t mean to keep you.”
Michael had been waiting up for Joy, she’d been gone far too long, hours had passed since she ran out the door because he called. He heard the garage door going up, he’d long ago sent the kids to bed, he sat in the dark room, the TV the only light and waited. She came through the door and he was waiting, “What took you so long?” He demanded. “Oh Michael, I know it took longer than expected,” she said tiredly. Joy was in the kitchen now, she’d turned on the light in the dark house when she came in, “Justin was hysterical tonight.” Michael walked up close to her and leaned in close and sniffed.
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