A Soft Kiss in Winter

by Lily Graison

  He lowered his head and inhaled the scent of her hair. The feel of her in his arms like this was something he’d never thought to experience. His body clenched tight at having her so close, blood pooling in his lower extremities as he closed his eyes and savored every sensation. Base need filled him with a desire he hadn’t felt in years and in an instant, he wanted her. As much as he hated the responsibility of taking care of another human life, a small part of him wanted to keep her. To hold her like this every night and never let her go.

  He clenched his fists and squeezed his eyes shut. The last time he’d felt anything so strong, it had ruined his life. Images he wished to forget filled his head as the last woman he’d sworn to protect—and failed—screamed through his memories and sent ice threading through his veins to cool his ardor in an instant.

  Pulling away, he covered her with his coat and stood and rebuilt the fire to a blaze hot enough to warm them both. He sat across the fire, ate a bit of dried meat and mapped out the mountain in his head trying to find a quicker route down to Silver Falls. Long minutes thinking on every path and trail brought him back to the one he was on. He couldn’t think of one that was any quicker which meant they didn’t have time to waste. The snows were already starting to fall. In another month or so, it would be impossible to make it to town. The snow would be too deep to walk through, the temperature low enough to make it impossible to survive the night in the open. They had to keep going.

  Standing, he walked around the fire and reached for Victoria’s shoulder and gave her a shake. “Wake up. We have to get moving.” He packed his gear as she roused from sleep and sat up. His coat was still clutched to her body and as much as he’d like for her to keep it to stay warm, he wouldn’t make it far without it.

  She stood and glanced his way, her cheeks red. It wasn’t the cold bringing the color to her face. She held out his coat and whispered a soft, “thank you.”

  He took the coat and shrugged it back on. “The dried meat is over there.” He pointed to the small bag by the fire. “Grab what you want and we’ll be on our way. We have a hard two-day hike before we make it to the cabin.”

  She helped herself to the bland breakfast and bundled up. They were packed, the fire covered in snow, and back on the trail within half an hour. They walked in silence, his mind on what it was she was doing out here again and he turned his head to look at her over his shoulder to make sure she wasn’t too far behind. To his surprise, she was right behind him.

  Like the day before, the trek over the mountain was a series of stops to rest, eat, and relieve themselves and they were both exhausted by nightfall. And as with the night before, he woke to the sound of her teeth chattering. She was facing the fire, her body curled in on itself, her face buried inside her cloak. It still wasn’t enough. She was shaking. It was obvious she wasn’t used to the cold, which brought back the question of, who is she? Where did she come from and why is she on this mountain alone?

  He stood and fed more wood into the fire and picked up his blanket, walking to where she lay. He spread his blanket and removed his coat, settled behind her and draped the coat over both of them. It didn’t take long for her shakes and chattering teeth to stop, her body warming enough he could feel her relax against him.

  Long minutes later she turned her head and tried to look over her shoulder at him. “Thank you.”

  He stared at the back of her head. “You’re welcome.”

  Chapter 5

  For the second morning in a row, Victoria woke cocooned in warmth. She laid completely still, eyes closed, afraid Gideon would move if he knew she was awake. His arm was around her waist, his face tucked into her hair and every breath he took, she felt the hot press of air on the back of her neck. The sensation caused a shiver to race up her spine. Although she knew nothing about this man, she’d admit—if only to herself—being surrounded by him like this felt nice. She did, however, deny the fact she could get used to it, even when a taunting voice in the back of her head laughed and called her a liar.

  She smiled to herself and enjoyed his nearness. Being held so close by a man like Gideon was no hardship. He had a gruff manner about him at times but despite that, he seemed kind. He was also quite nice to look at. She’d never given much thought to a man such as him but she’d admit if only to herself, he was distracting. She’d seen her fair share of handsome men but Gideon just seemed—more, than most. More rugged. More capable. More—manly.

  The past several days had been brutal. She was beyond tired and couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so worn down. The muscles in her legs ached from climbing so many hills, her back stiff from trying to keep her balance and not topple off the next ridge. Living in fear for so long wore at her nerves and made her jumpy at the slightest noise, especially after those men found her and chased her up the side of the mountain. But since this wild mountain man had found her, she’d been sheltered, fed, kept safe from harm and now, warmed and held so close at night she wanted nothing more than to turn in his arms and bury her face against his chest and inhale his scent again. To hold him tight and hope he never let her go.

  He stirred behind her, his head moving to bury deeper into her hair before inhaling deeply. A small noise from deep in his throat rumbled just behind her ear. His hold on her tightened, his legs moving closer to lay flush against the back of her own bent knees. She memorized every sensation produced by him so close and held back a frown when he stretched, his hold on her loosening. He stiffened behind her, the arm wrapped around her waist slowly moving away.

  She feigned sleep as he stood and moved around the cold fire pit and watched him through slitted eyes, peering at him through her lashes. Without his big heavy coat, he was much leaner than he appears while wearing it. The coat was still draped across her body, the warmth they’d shared keeping her warm still. Her gaze locked on his face and held. She’d not seen many men with a full beard. It wasn’t a style worn much in Chicago. The most facial hair she’d seen on anyone was a long, curling mustache. This look suited Gideon, though. It made him seem as if he could accomplish anything he set his mind to.

  He seldom spoke and as surly as he’d been when he found her, she realized it was all bluster. As confident and self assured as he seemed, something in his eyes told her otherwise. She felt a deep sense of melancholy from him at times and all she had to do was look at him to confirm it. His eyes told a story as heartbreaking as her own and made her wonder if maybe, they weren’t so different after all. The deep sense of loss was there for anyone to see, if they looked hard enough.

  If the look in his eyes was any indication, Gideon was as broken as she was and like herself, he tried to hide it from the world.

  He looked toward the sky and she did the same. Thick clouds hung low and promised more snow. They still had another full day of hiking to go before they reached the next cabin. Sitting up, she gathered his coat and stood. He looked her way, their eyes meeting for a brief moment before he crossed to where she was and took the coat. Neither said a word as they rolled the blankets. He handed her a few strips of the dried meat, kicked snow over the remains of their fire pit, and started across the mountain.

  Unlike the previous nights when they camped, Gideon ran across a game trail and was able to get a fresh kill. They made camp and spit the rabbit he’d shot as the sun started to disappear behind the mountain.

  “How much farther?”

  Victoria’s soft voice drew his attention. He adjusted the sticks holding the rabbit and sat down across the fire pit from her. “We should reach the cabin tomorrow, mid-afternoon sometime. We’ll stay to rest a day or so and move out again. We can reach Silver Falls in a day from there but it’s a hard downward climb. We’ll not be able to stop but a few times or we’ll never make it down by nightfall. Climbing down in the dark isn’t wise.”

  She nodded her head and stared at the dancing flames. “Is it a large town?”

  “Suppose it depends on what you consider large.” He moved the coals in the fir
e so the meat would cook evenly. “There’s no bank, but there’s a mercantile and a dress shop. The livery doubles as the stagecoach station and blacksmith shop.”

  “No train, then?”

  “No, but the stagecoach comes through every other week and that line runs directly to Guilford. That’s the closest train depot from Silver Falls.”

  “Is there a telegraph office in town?”

  “I’m not sure.” He cast a quick glance her way. “I don’t make it down but once a year.”

  “You live up here?”

  “Not all year, I don’t. I could, but I have an older brother who demands I come down the mountain before the worst of the winter snow starts falling.” Thoughts of Graham filled his head. He could only imagine what he’d say when he showed up in town, a full month early, with a woman in tow.

  She said nothing else so he sat in silence, watching the flickering flames in the fire pit and stole small glances at her. She was wrapped in her cloak, the bulky layers of the extra shirts she wore still not enough to keep her warm. The past two nights flashed through his mind. He’d woken every night to the sound of her chattering teeth and he didn’t think tonight would be any different which meant, more than likely, he’d end up underneath his coat with her. Should he make a larger bedroll than he usually did and share it with her, or give her a blanket and wait to see if she would get cold later?

  He wasn’t sure how she’d react to him suggesting they share the bedroll. She didn’t seem afraid of him but that didn’t mean she would willingly come to his bed if he asked. Not that he had anything on his mind but sleeping. Of course, the moment he thought of crawling into bed with her, his mind’s eye filled with images of her naked limbs bathed in firelight. Of all those glorious golden-brown curls spread out underneath her head or a few long strands draped over her shoulders and laying against her bare breasts.

  He bit back a groan. He’d definitely been too long without the company of a woman. He stood and turned, adjusting the front of his trousers while pretending to hunt more firewood. Thoughts like that were dangerous and foolhardy. She needed his help, nothing more.

  A scream tore through the trees and he froze. He heard Victoria gasp behind him and he held out his hand, hoping she’d stay quiet. The screams lasted for a few minutes, then died.

  He turned and reached for his rifle, checking to make sure it was loaded and stood to his full height. “Don’t make a sound, Victoria.”

  He waited for nearly ten minutes, his body tense, but he heard nothing else. No crunch of snow or cries. His heart rate calmed with every breath and he lowered the gun and took a cautious step back to the fire.

  “What is it?”

  Her whisper drew his gaze away from the darkened forest and back to her. Her face was drained of all color except for the purple and yellow bruises still marring her cheek and she was clutching her cloak around her body as if the material would somehow shield her. He laid the gun down, sat on his haunches and turned the rabbit. “Mountain lion. Sounds too close for my liking so don’t wander away from the fire and keep alert.”

  She nodded her head, her eyes wide. He hated to scare her with talk of wild animals but he didn’t want her to be unprepared, either. They were on a mountain, after all. They were on land dangerous animals called home.

  “Will the fire keep it away?”

  “For the most part.” He laid another branch on the flaming embers. “They’re territorial so to them, we’re trespassing. This is their home.” She pulled her cloak tighter. “Don’t worry, they don’t usually attack humans unless provoked or you walk too close to where they bed down, so we should be good. I’ve been on this mountain for years and I rarely actually see one. I hear them so I know they’re here, but I’ve never had one approach me.”

  She released a breath, the color coming back into her face. She didn’t say anything more and they sat quietly, listening to the sound of the wood in the fire crackle and pop and the wind whistle through the trees.

  When the rabbit was cooked, he cut her off a piece and they ate until nothing remained but bones. He didn’t hear the mountain lion again but that didn’t mean it wasn’t still close by so he kept his rifle within reaching distance. He stoked the fire again and grabbed his bedroll, his earlier question about sleeping near Victoria for warmth filling his head until nothing else remained.

  Gideon handed her the blanket she’d used for the past two nights and laid his out near the fire. She watched him secure his belongings, pull his rifle close to the side of the blanket within reach and build the fire up until the heat warmed her face again.

  The thought of laying down and freezing like she had for the past two nights caused her to sigh deeply. She’d been miserable up until Gideon had shared that big coat and his warmth with her and she wanted it again. It took too long to get warm once she was cold down to the bone.

  She watched him silently and wondered—would he think her wanton if she suggested they sleep next to one another again? Would he think she wanted more from him than to share warmth? Thinking he might sent heat crawling up her neck to settle in her cheeks for no other reason than, the thought wasn’t as unwelcome as it should be. It had been so long since she’d been touched, to feel the simple brush of skin against skin and as the days wore on, sharing something so intimate with Gideon grew more appealing.

  She’d promised Thomas she’d love him forever but that was before she knew what sort of person he was. Her heart hurt as the memories of him filled her head. How had she been so blind? Were all men like him once they married? Had she been so sheltered she didn’t even know the true nature of what a marriage was supposed to be? She didn’t think so, but maybe she was wrong. How people acted in private was different than how they behaved in public. Thomas made her realize that. His charming demeanor around others reminded her of the man she’d fallen in love with. The man she saw when they were alone was very different.

  He’d been possessive of her. At first, she’d been flattered he’d cared so deeply he didn’t want anyone else to even look at her but it didn’t take long to realize his behavior wasn’t normal. It couldn’t be. At least, she hoped it wasn’t.

  Her attention was drawn back across the fire when Gideon laid down on his back and blew out a breath before closing his eyes. Fatigue caused her own eyes to burn and itch. She needed to sleep, too. Sitting here debating failed relationships was a useless worry anyway. It didn’t change her circumstances, so why waste time thinking about it.

  She stood and held the blanket Gideon had given her to her chest and kicked away any stones and limbs she saw on the ground, then stood there while a small voice in the back of her head begged her not to lay on that frigid snow-covered earth alone. She looked at Gideon. His eyes were closed but she didn’t think he was asleep yet. He hadn’t had time.

  Chewing on her bottom lip, she stared at him for long minutes while debating, then made up her mind. “Gideon?” His eyes opened a moment before he turned his head to look at her. Her tongue felt stuck to the roof of her mouth as he stared at her. When he sat up, his brow lowering in concern, she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and lifted the blanket. “Um, I don’t imagine I’ll stay any warmer tonight than I have the past two.” She inhaled a deep breath and willed her racing heart to calm. “Would you mind terribly if I slept over there next to you?”

  He stared at her unblinking. Lord, what must he think of her? Her face burned as humiliation filled every inch of her being and she smiled to cover her embarrassment. She should have never asked. “Never mind. I don’t even know why—”

  “It’s fine.” He stood and motioned her over with a slight nod of his head. “With the way your teeth chatter, I’ll just end up over there before the night is over anyway so come here and give me your blanket.”

  She hesitated a moment, then crossed to where he stood and handed him the blanket. He made their pitiful pallet and motioned for her to lay down while he removed his coat. By the time he stretched out beside h
er and draped that heavy fur-lined coat over both of them, her heart was racing.

  They laid on their backs as far from each other as they could get without being in the snow and it didn’t take long for the heat from the coat to start warming her. She dug her fingers into the thick matting of fur. The coat smelled of wood smoke, was thick and surprisingly soft to the touch in some places.

  Nerves caused her stomach to tremble, butterflies swimming inside fast enough she wondered if he could feel it. Should she feign sleep, roll over and ignore him or—what? She chewed her lip. “Is your coat made from a bear pelt?”

  “Yes.” He shifted slightly, his arm brushing hers. “I took him down three years ago. I’d run across am elk trail and found one not far from where I was standing. Unfortunately, the bear was eyeing the same meal I was. I walked right up on him. He didn’t like that much.”

  “Did he attack?”

  He snorted a laugh. “He damn near took my head off. I’ve got the scars to prove it. His claws caught me on the left shoulder blade. If I hadn’t had my rifle up to shoot that elk, I probably wouldn’t be here right now.”

  “Hmmm…and neither would I.” She saw him look at her out of the corner of her eye. The day those men chased her up that old mountain trail flashed in her minds eye. Regardless of what happened from here on out, there was no denying that Gideon had save her life. If it weren't for him, she wouldn’t be there right now. Her throat grew tight as the past week reminded her of how lucky she was he’d found her. “I doubt those men you rescued me from would have let me live once they were through with me.” She’d never be able to repay him for saving her and wanted him to know how much she appreciated him for coming to her rescue but how do you thank someone for something so substantial? The words, thank you, didn’t seem like enough.

  “What were you doing on that trail? Why are you up here alone?”