A Soft Kiss in Winter

by Lily Graison

  Gideon didn’t move when Victoria excused herself from the table and placed her dirty bowl in the sink. Nor did he watch her cross to the bedroom when everything in him screamed for him to do just that. The bedroom door closed with a soft click and the moment it did, Graham kicked him under the table. “Oww. What the hell, Graham?”

  “What did you do?”

  He scoffed. “What are you talking about? What makes you think I did something?”

  “Because you’re an idiot.” That irritating grin Graham always seemed to wear flashed before he chuckled. “And because the two of you were trying hard not to look at one another which means, something was going on and now isn’t, and if I had to bet money on it, I’d say you were the reason it all went tits up.”

  Gideon slid away from the table and took his bowl to the sink. “You’re wrong.”

  “About which part?”

  “Nothing’s going on.”

  “Anymore, you mean?”

  He braced his hands on the edge of the sink and sighed. “Leave it alone, Graham. I’m not in the mood.”

  “You rarely are.” His brother set his bowl in the sink with the others and leaned back against the counter, his arms crossing over his chest. “Want to talk about it?”

  Gideon snorted. “Not hardly. Besides, there’s nothing really to talk about. Not anymore.”

  That irritating grin on Graham’s face was back. “So there was something going on.”

  He blew out a breath and looked toward the ceiling. “Let it go, Graham. It’s done and over with.”

  The bedroom door opened a moment later and they both looked that way. Victoria stood in the doorway, her attention on Graham when she spoke.

  “Will you be heading back down the mountain soon?”

  Graham glanced at him before nodding his head. “Yes. I’d planned on leaving in the morning.”

  “Can you escort me to town when you go?”

  “Of course.”

  She wanted to leave? Gideon’s stomach ached as if someone had kicked him. Victoria nodded and shut the bedroom door. Graham shook his head. “She seems awfully eager to get down the mountain. How long has she been up here with you? Why didn’t you take her to town?”

  He pushed away from the sink, grabbed his coat and slipped it on before heading outside and made it all the way around the house before Graham followed him. What was left of the wood logs still needed chopping. He eyed the pile. It wasn’t nearly enough to last all winter, not that Graham would let him stay up here alone. He may be near thirty but his brother still liked to tell him what to do and not staying on the mountain all winter was one of them.

  He threw off his coat, grabbed the ax and set a piece of wood on the block. He swung at it as Graham stepped into his line of sight. Neither said a word. Maybe his brother would mind his own business for once.

  “So, what’s the story between you and Victoria? And tell me all of it.”

  Gideon snorted a laugh. So much for minding his own business. “You just can’t let it go, can you?”

  “No, not when it’s obvious I’ve stepped into the middle of something. The two of you went out of your way to ignore each other which tells me there’s more to this than you’re letting on.” He reached for the falling pieces of wood and began stacking them next to the cabin. “So let’s hear it. All of it.”

  He sighed. “I told you, I found her and was taking her to town.”

  “And yet you’re here and not down in Silver Falls.”

  He blew out a breath and stopped. That irritating grin was pulling at the corner of his brother’s mouth again. There was only three years separating them in age but ever since their parents had died, Graham took the role of parent more often than not, and finding out what was going on in his head had become an art form. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

  “Nope, so you might as well tell me the whole of it now. Or I could go back inside and ask Victoria. Think she’d tell me?”

  “You’re a jackass.”

  Graham chuckled and went back to stacking wood. As much as he’d like to think his brother wouldn’t deliberately humiliate him in front of Victoria by asking about what was going on between them, he knew Graham. He always got what he wanted and he didn’t care how he got it. “Fine,” he said, clenching his jaw a few times. “A mountain lion jumped me when we crossed in front of the rock wall near the creek.” Graham’s eyes widened. “I’m fine,” he reassured him. “Well, I am now.” He ran a hand absently across his chest, the healing cuts and scratches still sore. “Victoria dragged me to the cabin, stitched me up and tended to me when a fever set in. That’s why we’re still here.”

  “And the rest?”

  He sighed and threw a glare at Graham. “Things happened—things that are none of your business—and now it’s over.”

  “Why?”

  “Why what?”

  “Why are they over?”

  “That’s the none of your business part.”

  Graham laughed. Of all the things he could have said or done, the bastard laughed. He grabbed the next log, set it on the block and swung the ax.

  “You are an idiot.”

  “I love you too, brother.”

  Graham shook his head and reached for the fallen piece of wood. “You’ve been up here for nearly six years now, have spoken to no one other than myself that I know of, and suddenly a pretty girl shows up—one who just happened to be stranded on the side of our mountain—a girl you rescue, had some sort of relationship with, and now you’re going to act like it meant nothing?” He laughed again. “Like I said, you’re an idiot.”

  “Because I’m not pursuing something that can never be? How is that stupid?”

  “And why can it never be?”

  “She’s from Chicago, Graham. She has family there.”

  “So.”

  “So, once she gets to town, she’ll be leaving.”

  “And that’s the reason the two of you are acting like the other doesn’t exist? Not buying it. Something else happened.”

  He went back to chopping wood, every day he’d spent with Victoria playing out in his mind’s eye. Every smile she’d given him, every soft word and gentle caress felt as if it happened only minutes ago. And all it took was one small question to ruin it all.

  When there was no more wood to chop, he wedged the ax head into the chopping block and looked up. “She asked about my life here.” The softly spoken words seemed to catch in his throat. “About my family.”

  Graham straighten to his full height and sighed heavily. “What did you tell her?”

  He chuckled but there was no humor in the sound. “Nothing, which is why we’re not speaking.”

  “Gideon…” His brother turned to face him and rubbed a hand over his face. “Am I right to assume you’re willing to let your refusal to talk about Nora stand between you and the only person you’ve let get close to you in six years?”

  Anger surged hot as fire through his limbs. “What do you think she’s going to say when she finds out, Graham? You think she’ll be all right with the fact I killed my own sister?” The same pitying look most people gave him crossed Graham’s face. “Don’t look at me like that.”

  “Gideon, you know that wasn’t your fault.”

  He laughed. “Really? Because the way I remember it, it was. I was the one taking care of her. If I hadn’t failed so miserably, it would have never happened.” He started grabbing the wood he’d cut, stacking as much of it into his arms as he could carry. “Just let it go, Graham. It’s over and done with. Take Victoria to town tomorrow like she asked you to and leave me alone.”

  Without waiting for a reply, he snatched up his coat and carried the wood into the house, dumped it in the box and grabbed his rifle. Graham could say what he liked but he wasn’t stupid enough to get his heart broken. As much as he wanted to keep Victoria, he knew the moment she found out what he’d done, that look she gave him—the one that made him think he was the only person in h
er world—would vanish and she wouldn’t be able to get away fast enough.

  He ignored Graham as he left the cabin and headed for the woods. His brother may feel better talking about what happened all the damn time, but he sure as hell didn’t. It was better left alone, buried along with Nora and the misery he’d caused their family. He’d rather Victoria’s memories of him to be that of a surly man who pushed her away than a man who’d killed his own sister. He was sure she’d never see him the same way after she learned of that and he’d rather not see the look of disgust on her face when she did. Letting her go now was for the best, even if the thought of doing it tore his heart to pieces.

  Chapter 17

  Gideon left the cabin before the sun peeked over the mountains and had yet to come back. Victoria tied her cloak closed and situated her bag of clothes over the extra shirts she’d pull on to keep warm. She was wrapped up tight and as eager as she had been the night before to leave, now, she stalled, hoping to catch a sight of the man who’d saved her and stole her heart.

  “If we don’t get a move on soon, we’ll not make it down the mountain before nightfall and I hate sleeping in the snow.”

  She wasn't a fan of it either. She sighed and nodded her head. “Lead the way.”

  They headed to the creek. Graham lifted her and carried her across as Gideon had always done, and set her down on the other side. A trail she’d not seen before loomed up ahead. How had she missed it? Had she known it was here, she could have gone to town on her own. Maybe.

  As Graham started walking, she turned to look back at the cabin, a lump forming in her throat. There was still no sign of Gideon. Where was he? Why hadn’t he come to say goodbye?

  “Victoria?”

  She swallowed around the tightness in her throat and turned her back to the cabin, following Graham through the trees. Every step she took broke her heart a little bit more. When she could no longer turn around and see the cabin, she let the tears filling her eyes fall.

  Gideon let her leave without a word.

  They walked in silence for most of the morning, her thoughts on everything that had transpired since Thomas had died. How different her life was now, how different she was from the girl who left Chicago all those months ago. She’d been nothing but a foolish girl with stars in her eyes. Now, she was a woman who’d had her heart broken not once, but twice, all in the span of a year.

  Maybe this was fate working its way in her life. Maybe she was supposed to be alone. Her parents were older than most so perhaps her lot in life was to be home to take care of them, not to have a family of her own. The thought made her dark mood worse. All she’d ever wanted was to be loved and to love in return. She’d had it twice now, but both times were too short lived. If that wasn’t enough of a sign, she wasn’t sure what else was.

  The roaring rush of water grew louder with every hour and when Victoria saw the waterfall, she gasped. “It’s beautiful.”

  Graham stopped and turned his head, looking up the mountain. “I suppose it is.”

  The waterfall fell from the top of a sheer wall of rock, the ice clinging to it shining like small jewels as the sun shined on it. She’d been anticipating seeing this since Gideon had told her it was here. She never thought she’d be seeing it without him, though. Thinking of him turned the joy she felt into bitter gloom in an instant.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” She stared at the waterfall, a sad smile forming. “Just thinking.”

  “About Gideon?”

  The tone of his voice drew her attention. He was smiling as if he knew some secret she didn’t.

  “I don’t know what happened between the two of you but I’m sure it was all his fault.”

  “Why would you say that?”

  “Because he’s not known for rational thinking.” He leaned back against a tree in the path. “He’s pig-headed and cussed as an old mule when he wants to be.”

  Well, he certainly got that part right.

  “If I had to guess, I’d say you scared him.”

  “Scared him?” She shook her head. How could an innocent question scare him? “I don’t think so.”

  “What has he told you about himself?”

  Nothing much. “He told me about you and that the two of you were trappers.”

  “That’s it?”

  She nodded. “Yes. I tried to ask him more but—“

  “He shut you out?”

  He had. The fact he refused to talk to her still hurt her heart. “I don’t know what I said that was so upsetting. We’d spent the whole week talking, most of which was about me, and I was bored of the conversation so I asked about him and his family and—“ She looked toward the waterfall again. “I told him he didn’t have to tell me if he didn’t want to, that I didn’t need to know but by then, he was so upset he wouldn’t even look at me. Then you showed up.” The day played through her mind again, the pain as fresh as if it had just occurred. “He told me he killed someone.” She licked her lips and turned her head to look at him. “Is that true?”

  “No.”

  She exhaled the breath she’d been holding.

  “Not exactly.”

  Her heart skipped a beat at his words. “What do you mean?”

  Graham rubbed a hand over his face and looked toward the waterfall. “If you waited another ten years, Gideon would probably never tell you what happened.” He met her gaze. “And I shouldn’t either.”

  “Then don’t.”

  He laughed. “If I don’t, he’ll spend the rest of his life on this damn mountain alone and miserable.” He crossed his arms over his chest and glanced at the waterfall again. “Did he tell you he’s been living up here on the mountain for the last six years?”

  “Not in so many words, but I got the impression he only went to town when he needed to.”

  Graham chuckled. “He only comes to town when I make him, which I do right before the heavy snows fall. No one can make it up or down this mountain when they hit and I don’t want him up here alone with no one around to help if he were to get hurt or not be able to hunt. I check on him more than he knows and he wouldn’t have seen me this time if you hadn’t caught sight of me first.” He grinned and pulled the pack from his back and set it on the ground by his feet. “I don’t suppose he told you about Nora, did he?”

  She stilled at the name. Nora, the mysterious woman Gideon had called out to when his fever spiked. What did she have to do with all of this? “No, he never told me about her.”

  “Didn’t think so.”

  What were they talking about?

  Gideon crouched down and watched Victoria and Graham through the dense leaves and trees near the waterfall. He’d been following them since they left and more than once wanted to catch up and make his presence known but something always held him back.

  He shook his head and stared at the ground near his feet. Fear, that’s what held him back. Fear she’d find out what he’d done and look at him in disgust. He couldn’t bear to see anything shining in her eyes but the love he’d seen since the day he kissed her. But that look would be gone now. How could it not? He’d killed his own sister.

  He pushed the hood off his head and ran a hand through his hair. He’d taken to the woods before the sun rose up over the mountains in an attempt to forget all about Victoria Stanford. His plan had worked for a whole ten minutes. Once the sun crested and the shadows were chased away, the cabin came into view, a light blazing brightly in the window of his bedroom, and he’d felt rooted in place trying to get a glimpse of her. He’d not moved when he saw them come out of the cabin, not when Graham picked Victoria up and carried her across the creek, nor when she stopped and turned back as if looking for him, and damn his soul his pulse had jumped, his heart thumping against his ribs to see her do it.

  So he’d followed them like a love-sick fool, never letting them get too far ahead and hiding every time Victoria would stop and look behind her. He should have shown himself a dozen times over now but here he
sat, hunkered down in the trees like a criminal watching the woman he loved leave him.

  He raised his head as his last thought registered. Did he love Victoria? Was that why he was chasing her down the mountain? His mind flashed back every second he’d spent with her from the first moment he saw her in the back of that wagon, her face bruised and bleeding, her eyes filled with fear, to her looking up at him as they lay skin to skin, every part of them touching, their hearts racing in time with the other to now—to watching her leave and him not doing a damn thing to stop her.

  He ran his hand through his hair again, pulling on the strands to feel something other than regret. His entire adult life was filled with nothing but disappointment, shame, and loneliness—until he’d met her. He’d never truly started to live again until he’d found Victoria. He had no reason to.

  Now, he did.

  She was the reason he woke happy every morning. The reason he dragged himself out of bed to provide her with what she needed and he would have done it forever had she never asked about his life. He barked out a humorless laugh. As if that would happen. He wasn’t even sure why he assumed she wouldn’t. It was only natural for her to want to know more about him. He’d wanted to know everything there was about her so why would she not want the same?

  His attention shifted when Victoria moved to a nearby tree and sat down, her gaze on the waterfall. He looked at it too and remembered the expression on her face when he’d mentioned it, how excited she’d been to be able to see it, and he’d wanted nothing more in that one moment than to show it to her. To be the one who gave her something so insignificant to him, but was everything to her.