Wrecked: A Novel (Charming Knights Book 1)

by Shana Vanterpool

  The unlocked door opened easily, granting me access. The interior was dark, empty. Hallie went to the gym on the first floor, the pool, and then back to her room. I’d never bothered keeping her habits updated. They didn’t update. They stayed the same. Until me.

  It was close to midnight. The hollowness of the house barely picked up on my boots taking the stairs. Maybe I should thank her for never getting rid of this doorknob. It was older than her, probably part of the original house. I had a copy of it, but it was simple to pick. Put any key in the lock and lift up and turn the knob. It fawned open to reveal her darkened room. Her tiny mound in the covers of her monstrous king bed made her look fragile.

  But she wasn’t fragile.

  Stars were strong, brilliant, silently self-possessed. She didn’t need to rule with fear and intimidation. She ruled with poise and emotion. She’d make an incredible Wreckmond one day.

  The clothes she’d worn to my game were on the floor. I rifled through them until I found what I was looking for. I tucked her panties in my back pocket and then settled on the edge of her bed by her head. In sleep, she looked the same as when she was awake. I was sure her dreams and nightmares existed the same way mine did. Constantly.

  As I watched, she moaned softly, turning onto her side. She knew I was here. Her body always sensed me. It was her heart I wanted to reach.

  I did something I never allowed myself to do. I crawled over her and laid beside her, gently pulling her body against mine. I snuggled her ass against my groin and wrapped my arm around her waist, burying my face in her hair. The smell of her made my mouth water. Light fruity perfume, shampoo and soap from her shower, and a faint hint of sweat on the nape of her neck from her nightmares. I inhaled her deeply, holding her scent in my lungs until I couldn’t physically stand it a moment longer. I released her only to swallow more, repeating it until I started to black out.

  Not that it mattered. Having her inside, even for a little while, was far better than being clearheaded without it.

  “Mmm,” she moaned, shifting on her side. Her body wanted me.

  Mine wanted her. I nestled my hard on against the tight wedge of her ass. Her sleeping shorts were the same, no panties—there was nothing but the smooth warm globe of her ass between me and her flesh.

  She exhaled, and her hand moved slowly in her sleep to her stomach, placing her hand over mine. Her body wanted me closer. Her heart wanted me gone.

  I tangled our fingers together and held her closer. “I love you,” I whispered so quietly into her ear even I barely heard it.

  The first time I told Hallie Goodford that I loved her, I was twelve. She’d been out sick all week. Stomach flu. Eight whole days without seeing her had been the twelve-year-old me’s idea of pure knife in my chest twisting torture. I’d asked our cook at the time to cook her some chicken soup. I rode my bike over to the Goodford’s and asked Ben if I could go see her.

  He grinned and showed me up, leaving me alone with his daughter.

  I knocked on her door—my stalking at that point was simply leaving gifts from W; it evolved after that day—and heard her soft pained: “Come in.” Twelve-year-old Hallie was bronze hair to her shoulders and eyes that were so dark blue they made my pathetic heart pound. Her tits were the same size to this day, coincidentally.

  When she saw it was me, she stared, lost in fever and pain. That’s probably why she didn’t remember that night. The fever burned the memory away.

  “Hi,” she whispered. “What are you doing here?”

  “My mom made me stop by,” I lied. “You sick?”

  “So sick.” She rolled over onto her side and stared at me with sick eyes.

  I wanted to hug her, to make her feel better. Instead, I stood there. “I brought some chicken soup. You want some?”

  She eyed it. “Chicken noodle?”

  “Yes.”

  She nodded slowly. “Yes, please.”

  I pulled the plastic container out of the bag along with a bundle of silverware and a cloth napkin. I walked around her bed and gave it to her, waiting for her to sit up to hand it all off to her. Seeing her was like seeing light after endless darkness. I missed her. Needed her.

  “Good?” I asked, sitting on the edge of her bed, watching her groan in pleasure. “Maddox makes good chicken soup. He’s our cook,” I explained, feeling like a loser. She didn’t care about my cook.

  “It’s really good. Thank you for bringing it. Illa’s away,” she said, and her eyes watered. “I puked so much, my stomach hurts.”

  Her pain killed me. “Your parents?”

  “They don’t care. No one does.” She looked into her soup.

  I do, I wanted so badly to say. “I can stop by tomorrow before school if you want?”

  “K,” she mumbled, spooning one more bite into her mouth before setting it on her nightstand. “You mind if I lay down?”

  “No, you need to sleep. I got this last month. Sharted in my favorite boxers.”

  She giggled, clutching at her stomach and groaning but still somehow laughing. “Gross, Wreck.”

  “Can I lay with you?” I blurted out. “You know, since you’re by yourself and I already had it?”

  She looked at her huge bed and then down at her hands.

  “We can talk. Take your mind off the pain so you don’t hurl up your soup. Just don’t puke on me. Or I’ll do it too, and…” I stopped, feeling myself rambling. It was just that I was talking to her and I didn’t want to go back to ignoring her already.

  “You can stay.” She looked at me shyly.

  I knew right then, the way she looked at me, like she didn’t know me, but her smile was still mine. I loved her. That’s what the butterflies were. Why I couldn’t hardly breathe when she was around me. Why my heart felt like it was going to explode in my chest when I saw her. I loved her.

  I crawled into bed beside her and sat with my back against her headboard. We talked for an hour about school, homework, and our upcoming summer at Ravine Camp. Pointless dumb things. But they weren’t pointless and dumb to me. They were everything. Soon, she fell asleep so close to me her head fell on my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and shook with my feelings. I didn’t know if I could or should be doing that.

  Her door opened long after the sun had set. Her bedside lamp lit up the room dimly. Her father looked into the room and raised a brow at me.

  “Still here?”

  I didn’t answer. Obviously, I was.

  “Go home, Cage.” He hooked his thumb over his shoulder and closed the door after him.

  I didn’t want to leave her, but if I didn’t my father would know I was here and he’d make me get his belt. He hadn’t started using his fists on me yet. Then he’d tell me to make friends with Hallie, talk to Hallie, then punish me for doing so. He made my obsession dark and twisted. He spun my love and turned it into a nuclear weapon. I wasn’t a horny untamed teenager anymore. Now he just wanted me to take what he promised me.

  Her.

  I let her go that night and looked over my shoulder before I leaned down and kissed her flushed sick cheek. “I love you, Hallie,” I’d whispered, feeling my entire life come into focus. It was her. She made sense when everything else was empty or pain-filled. She was life.

  The next day when I came to bring her soup, Illa was home. I was glad someone was there to take care of her, but sad it wasn’t me. I’d handed off the soup and went home.

  W sent her a laptop with webcam a few months later. Storm liked hacking into stupid shit then. The school’s paper and replacing the word “and” with “anal.” His obsessions started how mine did. Harmless. They were anything but harmless now.

  She started to shift again, moaning and arguing with herself. Her body wanted her to wake up, but her heart wanted rest.

  I almost wanted her to stay asleep. Let her heart win a moment longer.

  But she woke up then, body stilling. She froze and looked over her shoulder slowly, meeting my eyes in the dark. Her terror evaporate
d and was replaced with anger. “You scared me, Wreck.” She sagged in relief. “I thought you were a creepy stalking fake boyfriend or something.”

  I laughed mostly at her audacity but a little because she had it right.

  “Good thing it’s just you.” She rotated to her other side, facing me and looking up through the thick bronze feathers of her lashes. Our eyes locked and stayed together, boring into the other. Finally, sadness filled her eyes. “I missed you.”

  My walls were barely intact. “I missed you too.” I sighed, so sick and tired of trying to say the right thing but wanting to do the wrong thing. “I’m sorry I put you in the middle of my bullshit and your ex and hurt the parts of you I love the most. The sweet loyal parts.”

  Her eyes softened and enflamed at the same time. “I forgive you.”

  That’s all it took? Meaning what I said? The ease with which we’d done that confused me. Where were the threats? The fear? I pressed my forehead against hers and breathed in her sweet breath.

  “Can I apologize now?” she asked.

  I was curious what she felt she had to apologize about, but I wasn’t going to stop her.

  “I’m sorry I hurt you. I hadn’t meant to. But that doesn’t change the fact that I did when I slept with him. I’m sorry you were hurt, and your first time was stripped from you. But there are so many first times we can still have together. So many new things we can do for the first time together. Can we have a do-over?”

  She must want every part of my wall down. She’d take a souvenir. A rock and put it on her nightstand. I’d glare at it as I snuck in and loved her in the dark. “We can’t be virgins again.”

  “No, but we can be Cage and Hallie together. That’s a first. There are so many things sexually I haven’t done. I want to do them with you.”

  “Hallie,” I warned, seconds from giving her everything she wanted.

  But she wanted it. And whether it was my father’s demands or not, she’d get it from me.

  “Like what?” I gave in, a pathetic fiend.

  She shrugged, giving me a soft smile. “You’re the perv here. I figured you’d know.”

  “What else do you want?”

  “I want to get rid of the word fake and the air quotes.”

  I exhaled and fell onto my back. If I looked at her any longer I’d rip her shorts off and show her what I knew. “It was never fake for me.” Hell. I was losing it.

  “It stopped being fake the night you took me cliff jumping.” She smacked my chest. “Ask me to be your girlfriend, dope.”

  “You need this for us?” I checked. We’d “be together,” no matter what—she knew that to some extent, she had to—but we could still feel what we wanted inside of that. Want inside of our must.

  “Yes, just like I needed your apology. Just like you need something more from me. I know you do.”

  She was right. I needed something, even a small ounce of more from her. Thing was, this wasn’t how this was supposed to happen. I expected her, and I expected us, but I didn’t expect her to want it that way. I knew what I’d do now. I’d work my ass off to show her that her heart could align with her body, and then I’d become what my father wanted, and we’d absolve into a loveless faceless money spun marriage.

  That was my biggest fear. Wanting her and seeing the obligation in her eyes.

  It was inevitable.

  She cleared her throat.

  Shaking my head, I rolled onto my side to face her. I held her face softly, trailing my thumb over her cheek. That close, looking into her eyes was the same as looking into a galaxy. Wild, untamed beauty. I was always free when I looked into her eyes. “Forget our parents. Forget Illa. Forget everyone else for a second?” She nodded. “This is Cage and Hallie. And he wants you to be his. That’s all he’s ever wanted.” Screw it. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted. Nothing else in this life has ever made me feel anything but you. Eighteen years and I’ve only felt something good for one person.” I pressed a kiss to her wide shocked lips. “And that’s you, my little star.”

  Maybe I should have anticipated her reaction. Maybe I did and let it happen.

  Maybe she beat me to it.

  Her mouth was on mine and my back was pressing into her bed as she moved to straddle me. I never let women on top of me. Not since I was fourteen. But Hallie didn’t stir bad memories. She made good ones.

  She matched me. I wasn’t holding myself back. I kissed her as deeply as I could, giving myself what it wanted. Something it so rarely got. Her tongue stroked mine temptingly, the taste of her sweet breath pure desire. I could taste it, feel it—she wanted me.

  So, I kissed her harder. I wanted her more. That’s how it had always been. She whimpered into my kiss, her fingers scrabbling at my shirt. She wanted it gone, but her body was too focused on mine. It was heady and damaging to be where I was right now.

  I felt empowered. In control for the first time in my life. Her want was mine.

  I rolled us over so quickly she gasped. I settled on top of her and swallowed her body with mine. I kissed down her chin and found her neck. “I’ve always wanted to kiss you here.” I pressed my lips to her thrumming pulse.

  She moaned. “Shirt off, Wreck.”

  Not happening. “We’re not having sex.”

  A growl sounded from her. “Why not? You want to, I want to. Why can’t we show the other how we feel?”

  “Because I wanted you for too long just to let you off the hook that easily. You’ll come,” I assured her, nipping at her throat. “All fucking night. You okay with that now?”

  “I want you more,” she purred, putting her fingers in my hair.

  She knew she was my weakness. Knew she was a weapon.

  That was going to be extremely dangerous to my future resolve. I had to keep this right where it was. On top of her.

  I moved down her body, skimming my lips along her throat and collar bone. She arched in my arms, jutting her tiny perfect tits in my face. Through the thin material of her tank, her nipples puckered, peaking under my stare. I closed my mouth around one through her shirt. Beneath me, she moaned. It wasn’t a simple moan. Wasn’t even a sweet one. It was husky, wanting, dripping with desire. My cock was excruciatingly hard. She was going to kill me. Everything about her had been my desires and having them now after years of anticipation was making the entire moment surreal.

  I pulled her nipple between my teeth and bit down softly through the cloth, feeling her shiver beneath me. The darkness in her room cloaked her body, but I could finally feel her, and seeing wasn’t better than that right now.

  “Oh my gosh,” she groaned, writhing. “That feels so good. Like how come this never felt this good before? Oh!” she gasped, when I bit down harder. Her words dissipated into garbled moans. “So… good. Ahh, Wreck. Mmm.”

  I pulled her nipple out of my mouth. “Hals?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Shut up.”

  She laughed, her hand flying in the dark to cover her mouth.

  I returned to her tits, moving on to the other. I sucked on her through her shirt, teasing her with flicks of my tongue until I myself couldn’t take it anymore. She was moaning unhindered, these slow appreciative moans that made me think she wanted what I wanted. To never stop.

  I grabbed the collar on her tank and ripped it from her body, leaving it gaping wide open. Her pale torso was arched, and her tits were aching for my mouth. At least I felt they should be. I lost myself in them so deeply I forgot who I was doing this for. I sucked them into my mouth and rolled them around my teeth, swirling my tongue around her hard, pink flesh so many times I felt her body tighten and her moans became breathless shouts of approval. Her thighs quivered around mine.

  “Did you just come?” I had to leave her tits alone for now. Or I’d lick them clean off. Her nipples looked swollen and raw, tightened to the point of being rocks in my mouth. Hell. I went back down for one more taste, sucking so hard I was afraid I’d swallow her entire tit.

  Her body wa
s pliant, her fingers barely strong enough to grip fistfuls of my hair. I lifted my head to find her smiling drunkenly at the ceiling. When she gazed at me, the lost haze in her gaze looked like she was cascading in her own universe.

  “Don’t you want to make love to me right now?”

  I covered her body with mine once more and kissed her, so she’d be quiet. Soon, her kiss strengthened, and her fingers clawed at my shirt. She managed to wiggle her leg under me and my weight fell on her, connecting our bodies together. She ground herself against me, taking erotic strolls around my mouth with her tongue.

  I punched her pillow beside her head and tore my lips free. My eyes were blurry, my cock was hard, my heart raced, and my thoughts weren’t in synch. I didn’t understand why I should stop. I knew I should, but I couldn’t remember.

  All my body, mind, and heart wanted was Hallie.

  “We don’t even need to use a condom,” she whispered, kissing down my jaw. “I’m on birth control. Think about that, Cage. Skin to skin. I’ve never done that before.”

  I pinched my eyes shut as she moved on to my throat, leaving wet heated kisses along my pulse. “Why not?”

  “I was paranoid. You taste so damn good.” Her tongue slid down to my shoulder. “Shirt off?” she asked innocently, like I didn’t know what she wanted to do to me with that tongue.

  Her fingers lifted it from my back, pushing it up slowly. I looked into her eyes as she got it past my shoulders and then our eyes disconnected when she got it over my head.

  When our sights were clear, she wasn’t looking at me anymore. Her eyes were on my chest. Her hands trailed down my pecs and moved to touch my stomach, digging her fingers into the grooves of my abs. I knew what would happen to her if we kept going. I’d be inside of her, bare, and I wouldn’t be gentle. I didn’t want to be gentle. I wanted to fuck her hard, deep, and dangerously. But I wanted to love her too.