Forever Waiting

by P. D. Stevens

  Tayla caught me alone at one point and grabbed my hand to look at my ring. “Wow! Look at that rock, you lucky bitch.”

  “Tayla, why do you have to be so crass?” I said, giving her a little push. “This could happen to you someday if you get your head out of your crotch.” She looked over at Aaron and he smiled at her. Catching their glance, I gloated, “See, don’t tell me you guys are just having fun.”

  My mother and Diane were talking about the baby and I could tell they were going to get along very well. Shay and Ryan were having a good time dancing to the music and talking, and Tayla and Aaron eventually disappeared together. Zaine came and wrapped his arms around me.

  “Why are you just standing here? Are you ok?” he asked.

  “Yeah, I’m okay. I was just looking at everyone and realizing how lucky our kid is going to be.”

  “He sure is,” he replied, “and spoiled too. Those two grandmas are going to make him rotten.”

  “They are! I know that.” We stood back and watched our family and friends, appreciating how lucky we were.

  I was a fat cow. I couldn’t reach my feet, shave my legs, or walk up the stairs without gasping for air, and to top it off I was on bed rest because my blood pressure was a little high. But all in all I’d had a good pregnancy. I couldn’t stay in bed all the time, so I would find things to do that allowed me to sit in one spot. I was mostly alone at the house with the exception of Max, who watched over the house while Zaine was at work, so I kept myself busy doing what my mom called “nesting.” I cleaned and folded every baby thing I could, along with reorganizing the closets over and over again.

  It was a Tuesday afternoon. Zaine had gotten mad at me for being on my feet so much, so he had told me I was on” bedroom arrest” for the day except to eat. Tayla was busy at the boutique, so I found different ways to keep myself occupied. I had found a box of pictures in the closet, and I asked Max to buy me some photo albums so I could put them together nicely.

  Going through the photos, I found several pictures of Zaine and his brothers along with some pictures of when he was younger. Towards the bottom of the box, there was one photo that caught my attention. It was a picture of Zaine and Stacy at some event. It wasn’t the fact that Stacy was in the picture that caught my eye, it was what she was wearing. Looking closer I studied the jewels Stacy had on.

  I got up and went to the little box I kept my earrings in. I dug through all the earrings to find the one I needed and waddled my way back to the bed. Sure enough, the earring Zaine had found on the floor in the kitchen was attached to Stacy’s big ears in this photo. But when was she here? Had she lost it before they broke up and never found it? Either way, I was going to tell Zaine when he got home.

  When I was done assembling the albums, I stacked them all on the side of the bed and put the photo and earring on the nightstand. I climbed into the bed to take a nap. I was so tired all the time. The baby was due in two weeks and there was no sign of contractions, nothing but a big boy kicking my ribs constantly. The doctor had assured me that he was beyond healthy, and if he got too big I would have to have a C section. I didn’t want that, but Zaine did because it meant we could get back on the sexual band wagon faster. Men.

  I was woken up to a wonderful feeling between my legs. Zaine was having his “dessert,” as he liked to call it when he went down on me. I allowed him all the dessert he wanted. “Please tell me that the one who is making my toes curl right now is my blue eyed Adonis,” I said sleepily, “because I can’t see you over my mountain of a stomach.”

  Zaine popped his head up from my happiness and smiled. “Were you expecting anyone else?”

  “I just can’t believe you want to take care of me like that right now. I’m gross and huge,” I said.

  “One, you will never be gross, two, you’re huge because you have my son in you, and three, I will always take care of you. Right now I’m going to take care of both of us.” Zaine climbed on to the bed. “Turn on your side, babe.” I turned on my side and he lifted my leg and sank into me slowly. “God you feel so good, Lan. I’ve been thinking about you all day.”

  I was aching in a good way. I could never get enough of Zaine. He was moving so gently in and out of me and my heart was racing. I let out a scream of pleasure as he pumped a little faster, and I knew he was close. “I will always take care of you,” he said again as I felt his seed fill me.

  “You can wake me up like that any time you want, Mr. Brooks.”

  “You can count on it, babe--a lot.”

  I turned to put my head on his chest. I wanted to tell him about the picture and earring but didn’t want to ruin the moment with a conversation about Stacy. “So what did you do today?” he asked me. “It was nice to see you asleep instead of climbing inside of a closet. That was why I rewarded you for being a good girl.” Zaine raised his eyebrows suggestively.

  “I actually had Max go and get me some photo albums so I could put together all the pictures I found in the closet.”

  “Did you? Let me see.” I slid out of the bed and put on my robe, then retrieved the albums I had put together. “I found some cute pictures of you when you were younger, and some of your brothers,” I said. Zaine flipped through the album and smiled at the memories they brought up. I let him finish before I brought up the photo of Stacy.

  “I found something interesting, too. I wasn’t even looking for it and it just popped out at me.” With a questioning look, Zaine waited for me to hand him the picture.

  When he saw it, he raised his head with a frown and asked, “Why are you showing me this Lan? You know she’s out of my life now.”

  “No, no! That’s not why I am showing you this. I was looking at her jewelry and noticed her earrings.” I grabbed the earring I’d set on the stand and showed him. “See, it’s the same one. It was Stacy’s earring you found in the kitchen.”

  “I remember these,” he said, recognition breaking over his face. “I bought them for her on our one year anniversary.”

  I looked him in the eye. “Be honest with me Zaine. Was she here when I went back home?” Bowing his head, he sighed.

  “Yeah, she was here, but not how you think Lan. I didn’t invite her here. She showed up pleading with me and I told her we were done. I gave her back some of the things she had in the closet. That was all, I promise.” I know Zaine had been messed up when I left and for some reason I believed him now. I knew he was telling me the truth.

  “Okay. I just wanted you to know I solved the mystery of the lone earring,” I said, prepared to put the matter aside.

  “Are you mad at me?”

  “No. For some reason I’m not, so you’re in the clear. I‘m too uncomfortable to be mad,” I said wryly.

  “Well, I have some news that might make you mad.” Zaine looked as uncomfortable as I felt right then.

  “What now? I thought we were over drama for a while,” I pleaded.

  “It’s not drama. I have to go a meeting tomorrow--in London.”

  I was due in two weeks and knew I could go into labor any time. Nervously, I asked, “Can’t you postpone it? I mean, I’m ready to blow here, Zaine.”

  “I know babe, I tried, but this is a huge deal. We had an offer from a concert hall in Berlin and the guy wants to meet as soon as possible.”

  I flopped back on the bed, freaked out. “What if I go into labor and you aren’t here? I want you here with me.” God, I was whiney. I was so over being an emotional wreck.

  “The good news is that it only two days and I have some friends coming to stay with you,” he said. The look on his face told me that I could be happy or sad at the choice he had for my baby sitters.

  Squinting an eye I said, “Who?”

  “Tayla and Aaron.”

  “Tayla is okay, but why do we need Aaron here? Don’t get me wrong, I love your brother, but does he really need to be here?” I asked. Aaron and I were friends, but he rubbed me the wrong way sometimes, especially with the hormones that were raging thro
ugh my system.

  “I want him here to look after you, babe. He’s just here to keep me from going crazy. I know Aaron will call me right away if something were to happen. Besides, it will give you a chance to bond more.”

  “I guess,” I said, pouting like a five-year-old.

  “Come on, let’s get you fed,” Zaine said as we climbed off the bed and got dressed.

  The morning came way too fast. I didn’t want Zaine to leave, but he assured me that he would be back in time for the baby to be born. I got up, started the shower and set out some comfy clothes to put on. I stepped in and let the warm water fall over me. I heard the bathroom door open and saw the sexiest shadow stand in front of the mirror.

  “You okay, babe?” He always asked if I was okay when I got in the shower because I had to stand, and lord knows I shouldn’t be doing that.

  “Yes, I’m okay,” I said, washing my body with a loofa. I picked up the body wash and it slipped out of my hands on to the floor of the shower. The door flew open and Zaine was standing there looking terrified. “I dropped the body wash, Zaine. I’m okay. I promise.”

  “You scared me,” he said. “I thought you fell.” He stepped into the stall with me and he grabbed the loofa from my hand, then started to wash my stomach. I tried to reach the body wash but failed miserably. “What are you doing? Don’t bend down, I’ll get it,” he said, stopping to retrieve the bottle. I felt like I could do nothing and it sucked.

  When we were finished with our shower I wrapped myself in a towel and grabbed my clothes. Getting dressed was like the Olympics for me. I could get my shirt on just fine but my underwear and pants were a huge challenge. I’d come up with a technique. I sat on the edge of the bed, put my underwear on the floor and worked my feet into each hole, then kicked my legs and leaned back until they reached my knees. It worked quite well.

  As I leaned back to start my underwear Olympics, Zaine laughed and said, “I don’t know whether to be turned on or laugh. What are you doing, baby?” He hadn’t seen me attempt to get my clothes on since I’d gotten this big. I’d tried to shield him from it, but he’d caught me this time. Pushing myself up, I reached for my underwear and stood to pull them the rest of the way up.

  “Getting dressed. What does it look like?” I asked, out of breath.

  “I’m not going to answer that question. At the risk of getting into a fight before I leave, do you want me to help you out?”

  I didn’t want to admit that I needed his help with such a simple thing as getting dressed. “I can do it myself. I have been for weeks now, all alone.”

  “That’s because you don’t want to admit you need help, Lan. You have to give into the fact that you need help now.” I started to cry.

  “You... you... you don’t love me because I’m big and can’t put my pants on, and you’re really going away to get away from me because I’m a mess.” I knew I was being ridiculous, and I wasn’t sure where this babbling was coming from. God, I couldn’t wait until I could control myself.

  Zaine held me and rocked me like the baby I was at the moment. He kissed me on the forehead and talked to me in a soothing voice. “Come on, Lan, you know I love you. You’ll be able to put your pants on again really soon.” He helped me step into my pants as the doorbell rang, and then walked me slowly down the stairs with him to answer the door.

  “ Hey, hey! We’re here, ready for a few days of fun!” Aaron said loudly as he dropped his bags on the floor. That made me cry harder because it meant that Zaine was leaving really soon, and I just wanted him to hold me.

  Tayla came in and scooped me out of Zaine’s arms. “What did you fuckers do to my friend? Why is she crying like this?”

  The guys started to laugh. “We didn’t do anything!” Zaine protested. “It’s hormones. She’s ready to pop, and her hormones have been out a whack for months. I’m just used to it.” Aaron leaned toward Zaine nervously and whispered loudly, “Man, you said she was fine. I love Landrey, but that is not Lan. She might stab me with some foreign object or something.” Zaine slapped him on the back of the head and told him to shut up.

  “She’ll be fine. Just give her anything she wants and call me if anything happens.”

  I finally controlled my tantrum and was able to kiss Zaine goodbye. “I will be back in a few days, babe” he said. “You’ll be fine.” Leaning down, he kissed my baby bump and came back up and kissed my forehead. “I love you.”

  “I love you too,” I whimpered.

  Tayla came over and walked me away from the door. “I got this, Zaine,” she called over her shoulder. She steered me back upstairs. “We’re going to have fun, right Lan? What do you want to do first?”

  I smiled and said, “I would love it if you would shave my legs for me.” She squeezed my shoulder harder. “Yay for me. Let’s go, sasquatch.” Tayla shaved my legs and painted my toes for me then set me up in the living room to make myself comfy. My back was starting to hurt a little so I wanted to put my legs up and relax. We sent Aaron out for food and some movies, and spent the rest of the evening laughing in front of the television.

  I woke up on the chaise with a horrible, sharp cramp on my side and an aching back, and I assumed it was from the way I was laying on the chair. I tried to get up but stopped mid-stance when another pain shot across my stomach, this time lasting for a minute. The pain freaked me out and I sat back down. Tayla and Aaron were nowhere to be found, so I guessed they had gone off bed. I tried again to stand up, but the pain was getting worse and I just had to stop and breathe.

  The cramp started to subside so I figured it was just a big gas bubble from the Chinese food we had for dinner. I got up and waddled over to the stairs to try to get to bed, but the pain started up again, this time more intense. I started talking to myself, saying, “This is not happening. It’s just gas. I am not in labor, it is gas, that’s it just gas.”

  I knew I had to wake up Tayla, but I was afraid to walk up the stairs. I yelled, “Tay, come downstairs, quickly.” I heard the guest room door open and she and Aaron came running out half naked.

  “What’s the matter? What’s wrong?” Tayla said, wiping the crust from her eyes.

  “I think I might be in labor, but I’m not sure,” I said.

  I could hear Aaron muttering, “Man, I knew this was going to happen. Why can’t Ryan take care of shit by himself?”

  “Shut up Aaron! We don’t know for sure if she’s in labor. This is why we’re here, so shut it!” Tayla said with annoyance in her voice.

  “Ahhhhhh! Here comes another one,” I said, gripping her hand.

  “Okay, so how do we do this?” Aaron asked apprehensively.

  “Do what, Aaron?” Tayla walked me over to the couch to sit.

  “I don’t know? I mean, how… What should I be doing? Should I boil water? Get some blankets? What?”

  “Aaron, calm down,” I said, trying to be calm myself. “I’m not going to give birth here, so chill for a minute. I need to call my doctor.” I took a deep breath to clear my head. I had gotten a list of the proper things to do when you go into labor from the doctor. “Aaron, there’s a list on the fridge in the kitchen. Please bring it in here. It has my doctor’s number on it and I need to call him. He’ll tell me what to do.” Aaron practically sprinted to the kitchen to retrieve the paper, then gave me his cell phone so I could call the doctor.

  Dr. Gerald Johnson was a stout man with a grandfatherly quality that made him cheerful most of the time, but it was three in the morning and I felt bad for calling him. “Gerald Johnson here,” he said as he answered the phone.

  “Doctor Johnson, this is Landrey Steele.”

  “Yes, hi Landrey. I assume we are having some pains.”

  “Yes, I think they’re contractions but I’m not sure. They come about every five minutes and hurt really badly.”

  “Yup, those sound like contractions. Why don’t you get yourself together and come to the hospital? I’ll be there shortly. We can determine if it is real labor or fa
lse.” When he hung up I started to panic. Zaine had just arrived in London and I had to call him and tell him to come back.

  Poor Aaron was walking in circles around the living room, looking like I was going to give birth right in front of him. “Aaron, Stop! Sit down for a minute and listen to me,” I said. “Listen, I don’t have your brother here and you’re his replacement until he gets back. You both need to help me out. I’m just as scared as you are, maybe a little more. So please do me a favor and call Zaine to let him know what’s going on. Let him know that you’re taking me to the hospital.”

  “I’m sorry,” Aaron said. “I just know how important this is for you guys and I don’t want to fuck up. I’ll go call him and pull the car around.”

  “Thanks. Ouch! Here it comes again,” I said, pulling on Tayla’s arm.

  “Where is your bag and stuff, Lan? I’ll run and get it, and some shoes for you,” Tayla said in a soothing tone.

  “Hall closet” was all I got out before I had to grab my stomach and breathe through my mouth.

  “Lan, Zaine is on the phone. He wants to talk to you.” Aaron brought the phone over to me and I took a deep breath from my pain and answered the phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Babe, I am so sorry. Are you okay? I’m getting back on the jet now. Try to keep our boy in there until I get home,” he said. I held back the tears, wishing I was holding his hand instead of Tayla’s at the moment.

  “I’ll do my best. I’m on my way to the hospital now to meet Dr. Johnson. I wish you were here. Hurry please--I need you.”

  “I am so sorry. Damn, babe. I thought for sure I would be back. In time. You’re not due for two weeks. I’m on my way now. I love you. If I miss this I’ll never forgive myself.”

  “Don’t, Zaine. Don’t start being negative. Just get here and things will work out.” I handed Aaron the phone and Tayla helped me to my feet.

  “Aaron get the car!” she barked.

  “I am! Don’t boss me around. I’m freaking out here,” he whined.