American Fairytale (Dreamers)

by Adriana Herrera

  “Uh oh. Should I brace myself?” He looked up and stuck his tongue out at me before asking.

  “Seriously though, how are you this low-key? I mean you have all this money.” He raised a hand and waved it toward the lit fireplace, presumably to illustrate his point. “Yet you seem to do all your own stuff and watch your kid yourself. Like where’s the army of servants and nannies and shit?”

  I chuckled because Camilo had a way with words. I thought about my answer for a minute, certain there was another question hidden in there.

  “Well to be honest that’s partly why I love living in New York. I can be completely anonymous here. I’m just another guy on the subway. And I do have people who help me. I have a cleaning service, a property management company, and there’s someone who comes and cooks for me a few times a week. I have a driver on weekdays and a couple of assistants too,” I said lifting a shoulder. “They’re just not in my space all the time. I like my privacy. And when Libe was smaller I had a live-in nanny. I still have someone who watches her regularly, she just doesn’t live here. No one’s here on the weekends for the most part, unless I’m hosting a dinner party or something.”

  I exhaled, trying to get to what I thought he was really asking: why I wanted things this way. “After the divorce I promised myself I wouldn’t let money or business steal me away from my life. I think that was part of the reason the three of us decided to sell Nuntius. As much as we loved it, it was running our lives. I guess I’m still recovering from that. I’m enjoying the freedom not having to worry about money gives me, and all the time I get with Libe. I try to be mindful of it, and most of the time I succeed. Although it can be tempting to just throw money at things that come up.”

  He stayed silent for a while, digesting what I’d said, then turned around with a look of genuine annoyance on his face.

  “Someday soon,” he said, pressing a finger to my chest. “You’re going to have to do something completely asinine and enraging. Because it’s not fucking possible for anyone to be this well-adjusted and thoughtful all the time. It’s annoying, Thomas!”

  I barked out a laugh. “You probably won’t be waiting too long. Believe me.”

  He huffed in answer but gave me a kiss before settling against me again.

  After a minute I decided to ask something I’d been waiting on for a while. After the day we had, it felt like the right time. “What are you doing for Thanksgiving?”

  He shrugged in my arms. “Nothing, I’m on call.”

  I knew he had weekends when he had to be available to respond to emergencies in the shelter, but it hadn’t really come up since we started seeing each other. “Do you have to be at home? What about your mom?”

  He shook his head and shifted a bit so his back was flush against my chest. “No it’s not so strict. I just need to be available on the phone in case one of the advocates has a question or something happens. My mom is going to the Poconos with Patrice’s mom. She’s actually there this weekend. We were finally able to convince her to go out of town for a bit.”

  At the mention of his mom his brow furrowed and I wondered if there was something going on. He hadn’t said much about her lately, but I knew her well-being was a major priority in his life. “Anyways, Ayako will be on call too, so we’re planning to hang out at my place. Get some takeout and binge-watch cooking competitions. The parents will be back on Saturday, so I’ll see my mom Sunday.”

  I nodded at his answer, figuring out how to ask my real question.

  “Why don’t you come here? Ayako’s welcome too. I promise you’ll finally get a glimpse of my obnoxious rich-guy side then.”

  He lifted his head and narrowed his eyes at me. “Will there be turkey? Because my people don’t do turkey.” I couldn’t resist that mouth. I kissed him again, smiling against his face.

  “There will literally be everything but turkey.”

  “Go on,” he said, sounding intrigued.

  “It’s sort of a tradition at this point. We started in grad school. Heni, Sanjay and I were roommates and stayed in Boston for Thanksgiving since none of us had family close by. Priya was in medical school at Yale and came up too. We invited all the international students who stayed in town and asked whoever wanted to bring a traditional special occasion dish from their country.” By this point I had his complete attention. “We ended up with this amazing meal and decided we’d do it again the next year, and we’ve been doing it together ever since. We used to take turns hosting, but in the last few years it’s been here. The group has grown too, now that people are married and have kids. A lot of our friends are in the area, so we get a crowd. I think there are about thirty coming this year. I have some of it catered, but people still bring some dishes from home. It’s always a nice evening.”

  Camilo had turned around while I talked and was now looking at me slack-jawed. “It’s not fair that you can be this geeky and cool at once.”

  I grinned at how pissed he looked and went in for another kiss.

  “It sounds like an amazing way to celebrate. I’m totally in. Ayako will love it too, she’ll probably want to bring something.”

  I smiled, pleased with myself for impressing him. “Good. Priya will be here, so you can see the baby. She’s been asking about you.” He nodded and settled back into my arms again. It was time for Camilo to get to know my people.

  Camilo

  “I wish we could stay like this forever,” Tom whispered and I nodded, thinking again how good he made me feel. We’d been watching a movie and dozing off after our talk about Thanksgiving plans. I had my head on his chest and was falling asleep when my phone rang. When I held it up I saw Odette’s number on the screen and my heart immediately sank. If she was calling this late something was probably going on with my mom.

  “Hey, Odette. Is something wrong?”

  “Hi, Milo. I’m just calling to ask how Dinorah’s doing. I tried to call her this morning and she didn’t pick up.”

  It took me a moment to process her words. When I realized what she was saying I stiffened in Tom’s arms and scrambled to sit up. This whole time I thought my mom was with Odette. I’d even texted with her this afternoon and she’d said she was fine. What the hell was going on?

  “What do you mean? I thought she’d gone up to the house with you?” I sounded scared and Tom immediately sat up on the couch, his face alert.

  I heard Odette click her tongue. “No, when we went to pick her up last night she said she wasn’t feeling well and was going to stay home. I tried to convince her, but you know how she gets. I told her I’d check on her today, but she’s not answering her phone. I didn’t want to worry you, dear, but you know she’s been down lately.”

  I was in a full panic by now, because this meant my mom had been alone and so depressed she couldn’t even leave her house while I’d been out with Tom all day. The guilt slashed through me. I’d barely checked in with her this week, I’d been so preoccupied with meeting Libe. I knew she wasn’t doing well, but I was so caught in this thing I had with Tom, I’d totally dropped the ball.

  “I haven’t talked to her since yesterday, Odette. I’ve been at my—”

  I looked over at Tom.

  “I’ve been busy. I texted her today and she said she was good. It was short, but I figured she was distracted doing stuff with you.” I got up and started walking downstairs with Tom right on my heels. “Thanks for calling. I’ll go over to her place now and see how she’s doing.”

  “Okay, sweetheart, and please don’t feel guilty. You didn’t know and your mother is an adult. Please, don’t blame yourself okay?” She sounded worried. If anyone knew how hard I took things with my mother, it was Odette.

  “I won’t. I’ll check in with you once I see her.” I ended the call before she could even say goodbye and started looking for my stuff. I got my shoes and jacket on then grabbed my backpack on the way to the door, witho
ut saying a word to Tom. The happiness I’d been feeling all day had completely evaporated. If anything happened to my mother I would never forgive myself.

  I was in my head and feeling too fucked up for explanations. He might as well see me like this, in one of my “ugly moods,” like Paul used to call them.

  Tom followed me to the door, and I stood there holding the doorknob with my back to him. I didn’t want to look at him. I didn’t want to have to explain why I needed to go to check on my mom. I could already see his puzzled expression when he heard why I had to go. The questions, the implication about my “co-dependent” relationship with my mother, or my using her as an excuse for running out. I didn’t have the energy to do it tonight.

  I felt Tom’s gentle hand on my shoulder. “¿Que paso? Is your mom okay?”

  I took a couple of deep breaths, then turned around slowly, trying not to glare at him. This wasn’t his fault.

  “That was Odette, Patrice’s mother. Sounds like my mom didn’t go up to the Poconos with them. She’s not answering her phone either. She’s been down lately and I’m worried. I was so distracted—”

  I paused because I didn’t want to lash out at Tom, even though I really wanted to find a reason to yell at somebody.

  I pulled on the strap of my backpack feeling restless at the fact that I was still here talking and not on the way to see my mother already. “We only texted once today. I figured she was around people and wouldn’t want me pestering her. But she’s been home this whole time, and I’m sure she probably hasn’t left her house. I have to go and check on her. I’m just going to get a Lyft and go up there.”

  The concern on his face did a lot to soften the edges of the panic I was feeling.

  “I can drive you there,” he offered. “I’ll just ask Sanjay to come and stay with Libe. They’re home right now. It’ll take him a minute to get here. I’ll get my car from the garage. It’s just across the street. Let me help, please.”

  My instinct was to say no. To tell him I didn’t need anyone to do anything for me and could handle this on my own. That I couldn’t start relying on him when it came to my mother. I was feeling fragile though, so I nodded, and I saw his shoulders immediately relax. “Okay, I’ll wait for you outside.”

  I don’t know how he did it, but within ten minutes he’d gotten Sanjay to come over, retrieved his car from the garage and was taking me up to the Bronx. We drove in silence as I tried again and again to call my mom, but her phone was shut off. Tom was tense and I knew I was being rude by not talking, but I was so worried, I was incapable of making conversation.

  As we pulled up to my mom’s building I started unbuckling my seat belt, so I could jump out of the car as soon as we stopped.

  “Thanks for driving me, Tom. I really appreciate it.” I was about to step out of the car when he pulled me by my arm.

  “Can I at least get a kiss?”

  I was about to snap at him that I didn’t have time to kiss him, then reminded myself once again none of this was his fault.

  I sagged and turned to give him a peck on the lips. “I’ll call you later. Okay?”

  His mouth was pursed and he looked worried, but he nodded. “I hope everything’s alright with your mom.”

  “Me too.” I appreciated Tom not attempting to make me feel better or minimizing things, but I had no time to talk. I jumped out of the car, a copy of my mom’s keys in hand, and rushed into the building as he drove away.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Camilo

  I turned the doorknob to my mom’s apartment with my stomach in knots, unsure of what I’d find on the other side of the door. I couldn’t keep at bay the images of those months after my dad died, when her depression got so bad she’d spend weeks in bed with all the curtains drawn, in total darkness. When I stepped in I saw the lights were on, and heard the TV on in her bedroom, I felt dizzy with relief.

  I called out so I didn’t startle her as I walked down the hallway to her room.

  “Mama. ¿Dónde estás?”

  No answer.

  I walked in and saw her asleep in her bed, with a book on her chest. She’d fallen asleep reading. The house wasn’t disheveled and the kitchen looked like it had seen some action in the last few days. All good signs. I was still worried, because even if she wasn’t in full-on crisis, the fact that she opted out of the Poconos, which she usually loved, was a red flag.

  I called her again, not wanting to scare her.

  “Mama.” She opened her eyes and smiled when she saw me.

  “Milito, what are you doing here, papi? I thought you were at Tom’s house.”

  I walked over so I could stand by the side of the bed, trying hard not to let her see how worried I’d been.

  “Mama, Odette called worried about you. She said you’d skipped out on the trip to the Poconos. Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve come here and kept you company.”

  She waved me off as she sat up on the bed.

  “I just didn’t feel like being around people, baby. I’m fine. You know I like my alone time. Work’s been crazy and I just wanted to spend my time off in peace. That’s all. Everything’s okay.” She looked at me and must have noticed how stressed I was. “Come here.”

  I went over and she gave me a hug. “You worry too much, papi. I’m always worrying you.”

  I shook my head, my face pressed to hers. “That’s not even remotely true. I just want to make sure you’re all right. That’s all.”

  “I know, and I’m fine.” She moved over and patted the spot next to her on the bed. “Come, tell me about Tom’s daughter. I’m sure she loved you. You’re so good with children.”

  I knew she was trying to deflect, but I was just so glad to find her doing okay. I let her get away with it this time. I sat down and grabbed her hand.

  “It was good.” I smiled remembering all of Libe’s antics at the zoo. “It was great actually. You’d love Libe, she’s so sassy and smart. Tom is so good with her too.”

  She smiled wistfully at that. “I’d love to meet them some time.” Right then I thought about how much fun I had with Libe and Tom, and how good it felt to be part of their little unit.

  My mom was the most important person in my life and things with Tom were getting more serious every day. Despite my hang-ups and the very real complications, that fact was undeniable. He’d been so gentle and strong with me tonight. He’d given me exactly what I needed without smothering or taking charge. But the most important thing was that he hadn’t tried to minimize or tell me I was overreacting about my mom. I decided then I wanted them to meet.

  Ayako was right, seeing me with Tom would make her happy.

  “Mama, what do you think about inviting Tom to come to the Juan Luis concert with us?”

  She perked up instantly at my suggestion. “You should. I’m sure he’s a fan.” I already knew he was. Juan Luis Guerra was practically a deity in the Dominican Republic. Really, he was a big deal for the entire Spanish speaking world, but he was from the DR. I doubted Tom didn’t know he’d be performing in town next weekend.

  I put my arm around her, smiling at how excited she looked. “I’ll ask him if he wants to join us.”

  She gave me a cheeky smile. “You’ve been hiding him from me, Milito.” I laughed at her glee. We both knew this was a big deal.

  “I haven’t been hiding him, I talk to you about him all the time. I’ll let him know.”

  I didn’t know if there were tickets left, but for all I knew he was already planning to go. I’d bought ours a while ago and they’d been pricey, but my mom and I decided they could be our Christmas gift to each other. It had been a long time since we did something like that and we’d been looking forward to it. It was a good idea to invite Tom.

  “I can’t wait to meet him. So what did you do at the zoo?”

  We chatted for a while about the day an
d I told her of Libe’s run-in with the lady at the puffin exhibit which my mom thought was hilarious.

  After a while she stood up. “Do you want me to get you something? I’m going to make some tea and then we can watch a movie.”

  “I’ll have some tea.” She nodded and walked out of the room. I exhaled heavily, trying to not whip myself up too much. My mom seemed fine, she just hadn’t been in the mood to be around people. I had to take her word for it, and not put my stuff on her.

  I took my phone out and quickly texted Odette. Then I called Tom, who picked up after one ring.

  “Hey, is everything okay?” He sounded breathless and tense.

  “Why do you sound out of breath?”

  He grunted and I could hear him gulping down something. “I was a little on-edge when I got back to the house. I just put the car in the garage and went out for a run to clear my head.”

  Now I felt like shit.

  “Sorry I worried you.”

  “You don’t have to apologize or make me feel better. You were concerned for your mom. I get that. We’re fine.” Those last two words I felt in my gut.

  I exhaled again, feeling emotional. How did he know exactly what to say, every time? Whenever he fucked up—and I knew the time would come, because as far as I could tell he was a human being—it was going to rock my world.

  “She’s okay, just didn’t feel up to being with people. She asked me to invite you to come and see Juan Luis Guerra with us. He’s playing at the United Palace next weekend.” I was a little self-conscious asking, but it wasn’t presumptuous to invite him. I’d already met his kid.

  He answered almost immediately. “I’d love to. I’d forgotten about that, I’d seen it announced somewhere. Libe’s with Maxwell next weekend, and I’m sure I can find a ticket. Thanks for inviting me.”

  “Well I don’t know if you can get tickets by us this late in the game, but we could still go together.”

  “I’ll find something.” The delight in his voice made warmth spread to my chest. “Thanks for checking in too. I’m sorry our night got cut short, but I’m glad your mom’s okay.”