Universal Alien

by Gini Koch

  “Could be bad,” I whispered in Cox’s ear.

  “In for a penny, in for a pound, ma’am.”

  “Yep. I’ll lead.” So saying, I kept a hold of Cox and we edged along the wall. Looked for traps or tripwires. Didn’t spot any. Hoped that meant there weren’t any, versus my just being too lame to see them.

  Made it to the door without issue. Listened at it—heard what could have been someone working quietly or could have been nothing. The door was firmly shut. So I either had to try the handle and let whoever was in there know someone was trying to get in, or I had to just break the door down, which didn’t say “nice person coming through” on the off chance whoever was inside was a good guy, or at least neutral.

  While I pondered options, Stripes jumped out of my purse. He went to the door and started meowing in an extremely pitiful manner. I went to grab him, but Cox grabbed me and pulled me back. “Let him work,” he whispered.

  Sure enough, the door opened a bit. “Who’s there?” The voice was familiar, and as Stripes meowed again, the door opened wider, and a man stepped out to pick up the cat, I got a good look at him. “Come here, kitty. Are you lost? You look hungry.”

  “Alfred?”

  He froze halfway toward Stripes, then spun toward me. “Who are you?”

  Before I could answer, a ball of fluff jumped out of his pocket and went large and very toothily in charge. It was growling softly, but I knew it could growl a whole lot louder. Cox, to his great credit, neither screamed, ran, nor wet himself. Stripes didn’t, either, but he jumped up onto my shoulder and hissed.

  “Harlie, it’s me. It’s Kitty. It’s okay, Stripes. Harlie is a good Poof, it’s just protecting Alfred.”

  The Poof gave a confused growl. “I don’t know you,” Alfred said. He sounded unlike what I was used to in that he didn’t sound happy, funny, charming, or in charge. He sounded frightened.

  It was time to talk quickly before Harlie decided snackage was the better part of valor. “Alfred, there’s a multiverse out there. I’m in the wrong universe. In mine, all your people live on Earth, and I’m married to your son, Jeffrey. You’re my father-in-law. Due to a lot of factors, when I had your granddaughter, Jamie, I got A-C powers in a kind of feedback loop. I can run at hyperspeed, am stronger than most humans, have fast regeneration, and have most of the other bells and whistles, too. We also have Harlie with us, along with an absolute tonnage of other Poofs. I’m trying to fix things here and get home. And I think I need your help.”

  “How did you find me?” Alfred asked, still sounding frightened and suspicious.

  “We have these tunnels in my world, too. They were created by the Z’Porrah. The Z’Porrah aren’t our friends but we can still use what they riddled our planet with if we can find them. There’s a lot more, but, um, could you please ask Harlie to relax? I don’t want to become Poof Chow before I can save the day. And all that.”

  Alfred patted the Poof and it relaxed, but it remained large. “You . . . you said I had a son?”

  “Yeah. You and Lucinda have five daughters and then Jeff, who’s the baby of the family. He’s the most powerful empath in the galaxy, possibly the universe. Well, my universe. I have no idea how powerful he is in this one.”

  Tears rolled down Alfred’s face. “Lucinda is alive where you come from?”

  Got the proverbial bad feeling in my stomach. “Um, yeah, yeah she is. Can you call Harlie off and can we come in? I’ll fill you in and then I think you need to fill me in. Because I’m just spitballing here, but it sounds like things are very different in this universe than they are in mine.”

  He nodded. “Your military escort?”

  “Lieutenant Commander William Cox, sir, U.S. Navy. I’m on Kitty’s side. And I think that means we’re on your side, too.”

  “And this is Stripes. He just joined the team a little before Cox did, which is why I don’t have him fattened up to fighting weight yet.”

  Alfred nodded again. “Come in. I have food for the cat, if it’s hungry.”

  We trotted inside and Alfred closed and locked the door behind us. Was glad I hadn’t tried opening it or breaking it down.

  The room was similar to the one in my world in that the equipment in it was clearly decades old. It was also highly functional and, in some ways, highly advanced. In other ways it was highly irregular—there were things I was pretty sure were coffee cans and similar attached to power tubes and so forth. Alfred was the rare A-C male who had strong science, technology, mathematics, and medical aptitude. And it was clear from the setup that he had all of his aptitudes going full bore here.

  The door that in my world led into the Meat Locker of Horror here led into an apartment. Had the distinct feeling that this apartment had been created over time—nothing matched and everything seemed cast off, as if Alfred had scrounged it from somewhere. And yet, there were cell phones and such in this world.

  In full light Alfred looked even less like what I was used to. In my world there was no way anyone could mistake Jeff as anything but Alfred’s son. Here, however, it would take convincing. Alfred was still a tall, broad-shouldered man, but he was sort of stooped, much thinner than I was used to, and he had a scared and furtive demeanor. And he seemed overwhelmingly sad. I’d just seen this with Dad, but Alfred’s sadness radiated off of him, as if it was his overriding and possibly only emotion.

  I couldn’t help it, I hugged him. “What happened to you?”

  “It’s a long story.”

  “We have time, sir,” Cox said. “And I think we need your story as much as you need ours. Fate of the world could depend on it.”

  Alfred sighed. “It always does, doesn’t it?” Harlie went down to small but stayed perched on Alfred’s shoulder. Harlie totally did not trust us yet. Alfred gave the Poof and Stripes both some meat. Cat and Poof jumped off their particular shoulders and the animals eyed each other. They ate with one eye open, so to speak. “Can I offer you two anything?”

  “Only if you’ll be offended if we say no.”

  He managed a weak smile. “No, that’s fine.” He led us into his apartment and sat on the edge of his bed. There was a small loveseat and Cox and I sat on that. “I don’t know where to begin.”

  “In my world, Ronald Yates was exiled here. Is he still on Alpha Four in this world?”

  Alfred looked shocked. “No. He’s dead.”

  “Well, he’s dead in my world because I killed him.” Alfred looked freaked out. Went on quickly. “He was like a Renaissance Man for Evil in my universe. From your expression, I take it he was a good guy on your world?”

  “Yes,” Alfred’s voice shook. “He was a religious leader . . .” He took a deep breath. “I fell in love with his daughter, Lucinda, and my cousin, Terry, fell in love with her brother, Richard. They were a different religion than the rest of us on our world, and my family forbade the marriages.”

  “Because you were part of the Royal Family and you, specifically, were heir to the throne.”

  He nodded. “Ronald was making headway—those of his religion were always considered lower citizens. But they had such strong scientific aptitude . . .”

  “The ozone shield didn’t stop the parasites?”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about. How could an ozone shield stop a parasite?”

  “I don’t mean little bugs, or microbes. I mean Jellyfish From Space. You didn’t have those?”

  “No, nothing like that was on our planet. And we didn’t create an ozone shield. The Exonerates wanted to, but they were overruled by my father.”

  “Adolphus?”

  “You know of him?”

  “We’ve met.” Contemplated what to say. “Um, he attacked me and the Poofs ate him.”

  “Really?” Alfred sounded shocked. “The Poofs turned on him?”

  “Ah, yeah, yeah they did.” So if there were
no parasites, there was a good chance this meant that Mephistopheles hadn’t blown up his solar system in this universe. Which was a good thing. But the way things were going, had a feeling this was going to be the lone item in the win column. “So, the Exonerates are what Ronald’s religion is called?”

  He shot me a suspicious look. “Why wouldn’t you know that?”

  “It’s literally never come up. Richard just refers to it as ‘their’ religion.” And me, being Ms. Observant and Interested, had never asked what they called themselves when they were on Alpha Four. I was batting a thousand in terms of paying attention. Apparently my other sterling qualities had won Jeff over, because my interest in so many normal person things was clearly not up to snuff.

  “Richard? He’s alive?”

  “Yes and wow. I want the rest of your story, right now. Please and thank you.”

  “Ronald was making headway with our people, and the Exonerates were becoming more integrated into society. But my father felt that was an insult to our proud way of life. Our religion isn’t based on mercy or forgiveness.”

  “Right, you toe the line or you go to Hell, correct?”

  “Correct. But the line being toed is determined by the king. And if your king is bad, and my father certainly was, then the people are led to do terrible things. My father, he . . . he had Ronald murdered.”

  “And he managed it? Because in my world, he tried twice and Yates survived each one. Those incidents were part of what turned him to the Dark Side.”

  “No,” Alfred said quietly. “The first attempt worked. It was during the Exonerates’ most holy day of the year. There were so many killed . . . Ronald and all his family weren’t the only ones slaughtered.”

  Let that one sit on the air for a moment. “So, Richard and Lucinda and Gladys?”

  “Richard and Lucinda, yes. I don’t know a Gladys.”

  “Okay, you not knowing Gladys makes sense. She was the daughter from Yates’ second marriage.”

  “Ronald was only married once. And his wife died that day, too.” Tears filled Alfred’s eyes. “Terry . . . Terry was empathic. She was already in love with Richard and Lucinda was her dear friend. So she felt their deaths, and the deaths of all the others. She couldn’t handle the pain, the overload. She died that day, too, in mental and physical agony. In my arms.”

  “Alfred . . . I’m so sorry.” So, all the bad guys who wanted to hurt me and Jamie to get to Jeff all had the right idea for how to destroy him. I had to get home to be sure none of them ever succeeded. But first I had to fix what I could here.

  Alfred’s eyes flashed. “I started a rebellion, right then. And I might have been able to sway the people. But my father was too crazed with power.”

  The reality dawned. “You’re who they banished. That’s why you’re here. They sent you to Earth because it was far, far away, but close enough that they could keep an eye on you, and you looked like us.”

  “But I am not one of you.”

  “Just like Superman,” Cox said quietly.

  Alfred nodded. “But I’m not a superhero. I’m a scientist. And everyone I loved was murdered or stripped away from me.” Harlie bounded over and jumped into Alfred’s lap. “All but one. They couldn’t stop Harlie from coming with me. We’re both alone here together, but at least we have each other.”

  No Lucinda, White, or Terry meant no Jeff and no Christopher. And all the others in the Martini clan were gone, too, wiped out before they could begin. I was here, and because I was, so was Jamie, but that was it. “What about Stanley Gower?”

  “Stanley was executed for treason—he wasn’t as close to the throne as I, so he was made the example of what would happen to anyone who tried to follow in my footsteps.”

  “Charming, but so like your father.” My throat was tight. “We have an enemy that’s trying to do the same thing to my mother—to get rid of all those who supported her, and all her bloodline. He’s killed her, and pretty much everyone else, other than three guys from her team and my father. In my world he’s bent on Total World Domination, and we’re pretty sure he wants that here, too. That’s who we’re trying to stop.”

  Stripes sauntered in, rubbed up against Alfred, then jumped into my lap and started purring.

  “I don’t know what I can do. I can give you weapons, I suppose. I provide things to the governments, things they need. I tinker, to keep my mind active. When I create something new, something helpful or fun, I let them know. I get paid in bearer bonds, they get what they want.”

  “And they don’t know where you live?” The last thing we needed was government interference.

  Alfred shook his head. “I make arrangements through a variety of scientists I sought out. They handle things, discreetly when necessary.”

  “You have some of the scientific community working as your fences?”

  “In essence. They know they can’t find me and that I can escape if they try to capture me. Besides, I let them claim credit for certain inventions, so it’s in their best interests to continue to help me. They’d rather get the credit or their finder’s fee than stop my ideas from coming. And if I were betrayed, no more ideas, and none for any of them, specifically.”

  Knowing human nature, that made sense. Mostly. “But what if one of them decides turning you in is more worthwhile financially?”

  He shrugged. “They have no idea what I can really do, so they have no defenses against hyperspeed or increased strength. They all just think I’m an eccentric genius and they humor me because what I provide makes that humoring worthwhile.”

  “Don’t they try to find you, just out of curiosity?”

  “They may. But in all this time no one’s found these tunnels, and since I enter them at hyperspeed, no one can see me doing so. I wouldn’t have found the tunnels without Harlie. Harlie found them when we first got here—we use them to get all over the world. I have underground safe rooms like this one all over by now. They can’t find me—nothing on Earth can penetrate whatever is lining these tunnels—and I want to keep it that way. If they knew I was an alien . . .” He shuddered.

  “We won’t let them know, sir.” Cox cleared his throat. “I’ve lost everyone here who mattered to me. In a small way, sir, I do understand what you’re going through. But some things are still worth fighting for. And saving innocent people from someone like your father is one of them. You were right to try to fight. I understand why you didn’t once you arrived here. But right now, sir? You’re not alone anymore. At least, you don’t have to be.”

  “You lost your family, son?” Alfred asked.

  Cox nodded. “My parents and all my friends. I’m an only child. I understand feeling alone. But if we don’t help her,” he nodded toward me, “then all the sacrifices become worth nothing. She’s come from another universe to try to save what she can of our world. I’d say that’s worth revving up the fighting spirit for.”

  Alfred stroked Harlie, clearly thinking. “If you will tell me about your world, about my family there,” he said finally, “then I’ll give you whatever help I can.”

  “I’ll be glad to. Even if you don’t want to help us, I want to tell you about the life another you is living, because it’s a good life, filled with love and success and happiness. It’s the life you deserved here that was taken from you, but for whatever comfort it’s worth, that better life is out there, and you’re living it to its fullest.”

  Alfred smiled, a real smile for the first time since we’d met him. “That sounds like a gift, a true gift, and one I’ll treasure forever.”

  CHAPTER 54

  MARTINI AND I RACED OFF to Charles de Gaulle airport. This time when we went into the men’s room I made him check under the stall door right away. We zipped right out again, never slowing down to anything resembling slow.

  “There’s another dead body in there,” he said, voice tight, as we left the airport as
fast as we’d come. “And I’m sure it’s one of our Secret Service men. That’s too much of a coincidence.”

  “We call it a frame-up where I come from.”

  “We call it that here, too. But who the hell could be framing us? I mean, who knows that we were coming here?”

  “Well, half of the Embassy, basically.”

  “They’re all trustworthy. And I say that based on the fact that Chuck has everyone swept and searched for emotional overlays and the like regularly and randomly, and there isn’t a human without an emotional overlay or blocker on them who can lie to me.”

  Tried really hard not to think of the one human who was fooling and lying to Martini and Charles both on a regular basis, but there wasn’t any music around for me to focus on.

  Martini headed us into a deserted alleyway in an industrial area and stopped. “The Mastermind is a human and you’re sure that he’s lying to me on a regular basis. Just tell me this—is it Chuck?”

  “What the hell? Are you high?”

  “We’re deadly allergic to alcohol and we don’t do drugs as a rule, so no.”

  “No. The Mastermind hates Charles. Chuckie, sorry. Both, really, in my world and yours. And Malcolm and I both confirmed that to you already. Why are you even asking this?”

  “Because you’re thinking of him, of Chuck.”

  “Because the Mastermind is fooling him and you both. And therefore he’s fooling everyone else.”

  Martini stared at me. “Oh. God.” He looked pale. “I hope I’m wrong, but I know I’m not.”

  “Crap. Did you just read my mind or my emotions?”

  “No, actually. I just thought about what you said. There’s really only one person who Chuck fully trusts aside from Kitty, and that would mean only one person who could, therefore, fool him.” He swallowed. “And the Secret Service reports up to him. And that means if one of them did some kind of random check, then they’d discover we weren’t in our rooms, badger Christopher, Amy, Len, and Kyle, and they’d tell them where we went, because we trust those people. We’re not telling them about you, but telling them about our mission to save the day? They’d tell them that.”