by Janie Crouch
“He doesn’t know the details, all he knows is that she and I were too different to make the marriage work. She’s good for his career and vice versa, so I just let it go.”
“You’re a bigger person than I would’ve been.”
“Once I realized it was my pride that had been wounded much more than my actual heart, it was a little easier to come to terms with.”
She rested more heavily against him. He liked it. Liked feeling her relaxed against him.
“So.” He shifted so they were settled down further into the couch. “We were both betrayed by people we should’ve been able to trust. But we survived and came out of it the other side.”
“The difference being that you made good choices afterward. Some of the ones I made . . . I was more wrong than Nicholas and Cheryl ever were.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“Trust me, you wouldn’t find it so hard to believe if you’d been there. I don’t want to talk anymore.”
He knew not to push. “Then don’t. I think you’ve done your due diligence for today.”
But hand to God, if she brought up condoms again, there was no way he was going to have the willpower to resist.
“I want to hear you talk some more.”
He hadn’t really been expecting that. “You do?”
“I like the sound of your voice. It makes me feel safe.”
She was tired, he realized, the pauses in her sentences lengthening. After what she’d been through today, he wasn’t surprised her body wanted sleep, but she didn’t seem to recognize it.
He made her feel safe? Hell, he’d take that any day. Even over putting the condoms to use.
“Okay then, Green Eyes. What do you want me to talk about?”
“Tell me more about being in the army. I’ll bet that was interesting.”
She leaned more heavily against him. He didn’t want to do anything to draw her conscious attention to the fact that her brain was shutting off and her body was following.
“How about I tell you about the time I almost got us killed rappelling down a building in just my skivvies?”
“Oh, I’m going to have so many questions about this. I want every single detail. Just your underwear?”
“Well, really it’s Zac Mackay’s fault. He was the one who got captured by an East African warlord and—”
She was asleep before he finished his sentence.
20
Lexi blinked her eyes open, trying to remember exactly where she was. This wasn’t her apartment. It was too dark and—
“Good morning. Well, actually evening.”
Gavin. And her face was buried in his ribs. She sat straight up, still trying to get her bearings. “I fell asleep.”
“You did.”
She couldn’t remember the last time she’d fallen asleep like a normal person. Usually, she was either battling with her mind, trying to convince it to let her rest, or had worked until her body could no longer stay conscious.
“How long have I been asleep?”
“About seven hours. You conked right after the power went out.”
“No I didn’t.” Had she? “We were talking about your time in the army. Something about rappelling in your underwear.”
He let out a chuckle. “Yes we were. And how much of that story do you actually remember?”
None of it. She couldn’t remember a single thing he’d said. “I—”
His lips moved gently against her forehead. “That’s because you fell asleep.”
She felt so much different than she normally did. Usually after she woke up, she’d only been asleep an hour and it hadn’t been enough rest, or she’d fallen into one of her exhaustion comas, slept fifteen hours, and felt like a zombie. Right now, she just felt . . . good.
Except for the fact that she’d evidently fallen asleep in the middle of talking to him. “I’m sorry if I was rude. I promise it wasn’t because you were boring me.”
“You can fall asleep on me anytime, for any reason. Besides, I probably shouldn’t have told the whole skivvy story anyway.”
She sat up straighter and smacked him gently on the chest. “You know you’ll have to tell me now. Don’t be a tease.”
“It will cost you a little something if you want to hear the whole thing.”
“Let me guess, more information about myself?”
If only she could see his face, but she didn’t have to. She knew what his expression would be. Solving problems was in his nature. He liked having all the details about everything. But she didn’t have any more facts she could give him. She’d said too much when they were talking earlier.
This was probably going to be the end of the easy peace between them. Something in her grieved at the thought of him pulling away because she couldn’t—wouldn’t—give him any more details about herself.
It’s better this way.
The thought didn’t comfort her like it should have.
“I had an epiphany while serving as your full-body pillow.”
She pulled a little farther away and tucked her legs underneath her. Did she really want to hear this epiphany? None of hers had ever been in time to help her. “Well, you make an excellent pillow. I can provide recommendations if you decide to leave your law enforcement and Linear Tactical days behind you.”
“I’ll remember that.” He paused for a moment. She could feel his eyes on her. Was his night vision better than hers? Because it felt like he was taking in all the details of her face. “Don’t you want to hear my epiphany?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure that I do.”
“It involves you.”
“Then I’m really not sure I want to hear it.”
His fingers trailed up and down her back. The front of her was so warm under the blanket and next to him, but her back was colder from sitting up straight, away from the warmth.
The soothing circles of his fingers eased, urging her to relax, but she couldn’t quite seem to do it.
“I’m still going to tell you.” He spoke slowly, his deep voice resonating inside her. “I realized that if I want to be with you in any sort of way, I’m going to have to allow you your secrets. And that I’m okay with that. You don’t owe me anything, Lexi.”
“Except for two hundred and eleven dollars.”
He chuckled and his fingers kept moving on her back in those sexy little circles. When had circles become sexy? “Not even two hundred and eleven dollars. You’ve served me that much in obnoxiously named drinks over the past two months.”
She gasped as his arms folded around her, picked her up, and draped her across his lap, blanket and all.
His lips fell to her ear. “You’re allowed your secrets, Lexi Johnson,” he whispered. “It goes against my nature to not try and figure them out, but I’m going to stop.”
A shudder ran through her whole body as his teeth bit gently on her earlobe. “I’m here any time anything gets too much for you to handle on your own. If you decide your secrets are too much for you to sustain, I’m here to help share that burden too. I’ve got wide shoulders. I can carry a lot. Whatever it is you’ve been through in the past, I’ll help if you need me.”
She closed her eyes against the tears welling in them. He thought she was a victim. Of course he did. He was a protector. And maybe she was partially a victim, but she was also the villain. She could never forget that.
It was the part he’d never be able to accept, and she couldn’t blame him.
“Gavin, my secrets aren’t what you think—”
His teeth nipped at her ear again. “It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what your secrets are, doesn’t matter what happened in the past. My epiphany was that I want to be with the Lexi Johnson who is here and now. So, if you want to hear the underwear rappelling story again, the price is not some of your secrets.”
“What is the price?”
“A kiss.”
That deep voice low in her ear was doing things to her insides she would’ve sworn were not possib
le without a physical touch. She didn’t want to talk anymore—not even a story about this man traversing down the outside of a building with most of his sexy body on display.
“I’ll kiss you on one condition.”
“What’s that?”
She let out a tiny moan as his lips began to work their way down her jaw. “That you tell me the story much later, not now.”
She didn’t wait for his response. She sat up and hitched her legs on either side of his, straddling him. Both of them let out a groan as his fingers gripped her hips and pulled her firmly down onto his lap. She threaded her fingers in his thick hair at the back of his head, fisting it, holding him where she wanted him.
And brought their lips together—a melding of mouths, hot and honest and raw.
Surrounded by darkness, in the snowstorm raging outside, there was nowhere else to go and nothing else to do but enjoy each other. Devour each other.
She would’ve kissed him like that in the darkness for hours and not gotten tired of it. The way his tongue teased and dueled with hers? The way he nipped at her bottom lip, then soothed the gentle pain with his tongue? She wanted to stay in his embrace forever.
But her body had other plans. It remembered how it felt when he’d pressed her up against that wall outside the Eagle’s Nest and the orgasm that had ripped through her. She wanted that again. Wanted him inside her when it happened.
The blanket slipped off her shoulders but she didn’t feel any cold. She let go of his hair to pull his shirt over her head, slipping hers underneath it off also.
She hadn’t worn a bra. Hadn’t planned to be doing anything today but hanging out as the storm passed.
She sucked in her breath as his fingers trailed up over the naked skin of her back and shoulders and moved around to cup her breasts. His own breath came out in a hiss as his palms, then fingers trailed across her hardening nipples. Teasing them, toying with them.
He wrapped one arm behind her back, his fingers cupping her shoulder and leaning her back, holding her weight as his lips moved down to tease her breasts the way his fingers had.
Her fingers grabbed his hair at the back of his head again, keeping him clutched to her.
“Gavin,” she whispered. There was no need for him to force her to say it this time. She definitely knew where she was and who she was with.
But soon, his talented mouth wasn’t enough. She wanted more. She wrapped her arms around his neck, then pulled them both back up until she could reach his shirt.
“Off,” she demanded as she tugged at it. She wanted to feel his naked chest against hers.
“Yes ma’am.” His arms moved away from her as he shrugged off his long-sleeve shirt and the T-shirt beneath it. Both of them hissed out a breath at the feel of skin on skin.
His fingers were once again trailing up and down her back as his lips moved to her throat and his hips thrust up against hers. His voice was gritty. “I wanted to take this slowly, but you’re making it damned hard to do that.”
His open-mouthed kisses along her throat were making it difficult for her to breathe, much less form coherent sentences. “I don’t want slow. I want to feel you inside me right now.”
She let out a moan as his arms yanked her up, so her weight was on her knees, his lips finding her breast again. He bit at her nipple, hard enough to make her squirm and moan against him.
“Yes. Harder.”
“You’re going to be the death of me, woman. Where are those condoms that brought on this whole brouhaha?” He nipped at her again, sending lightning straight to her core.
“In the pocket of my jacket. I’ll find them. You get undressed.”
He helped set her on her feet, then stood himself. She should be feeling the cold, but she wasn’t. All she could feel was the need to get close to him once more. It only took a few seconds to find the condoms, especially when the flashlight flipped on to help.
“Found them.” She spun around holding the condoms package.
She swallowed as she got a good look at a fully naked Gavin Zimmerman in the dim light. He was every bit the specimen she’d known he would be from the moment she’d seen him across that bar in Reddington City. Strong, fit, and capable. And so very, very sexy.
And, God. Redwood indeed.
She wanted to say something, something flirty and fun, but all thoughts slid away as her gaze moved back up to his face.
He was looking at her like he was a starving man and she was the last meal in the world.
“You have too many clothes on.” His voice was so deep as he grabbed her, it was almost unrecognizable.
She reached for the button of her jeans, but he moved her hands out of the way.
“Let me.”
She nodded but wasn’t expecting him to drop down on his knees right in front of her, kissing along her abdomen as he unbuckled and unzipped her jeans.
“Beautiful.”
His lips trailed the same path the clothing took as he peeled her jeans and underwear down her legs. Teasing her just enough to suck all the breath from her body, but not enough to give her what she really wanted.
He kissed down her thighs and her knees before pulling her jeans and lace panties the rest of the way off. He kissed back up her thigh to her outer hip while tapping her socked foot. “We’ll leave these on so those toes don’t get too cold.”
She let out a small laugh. “That’s not very sexy.” Then she gasped as his lips trailed back across her stomach and down her navel once again.
“Your well-being is more important. Besides, there’s plenty of sexy here.”
Her hands tunneled into his hair. Oh God, wasn’t this how she’d gotten into this whole mess to begin with? Because she’d wanted someone who’d wanted to take care of her and look out for her well-being?
She’d wanted someone who wanted to know Lexi, who was not the same as Alexandra.
But then, every thought in her head fled as his lips stopped messing around and decided to really drive her crazy. All she could hear was the sound of her own cries as he drove her body relentlessly higher with his lips. His tongue torturing her.
“Gavin, I want you inside me. Please.”
Without a word he kissed back up her body, taking the condom she’d all but crushed in her fist out of her hand. She couldn’t stop watching as he rolled it over his length, then sat back on the blanket on the couch.
He held a hand out. Immediately she straddled his legs once again and lowered herself onto him. His deep groan echoed with the same sort of desperate need she felt as he filled her completely. His hands threaded into her hair and pulled her in for a kiss as her body adjusted to the feel of him.
It wasn’t long before she needed more. Needed more of Gavin. More of them together.
Her lips left his as she raised and lowered herself on him, her hands clutching at his shoulders. His hands found her hips and increased the pace, sending streaks of heat spiraling through her.
“Lexi.”
She loved the sound of her name on his lips, and their rhythm became wilder. Her fingers gripped his shoulders as she ground down against him, the friction pushing her over the edge, pleasure washing over her in waves.
The moment she fell apart, he snapped, gripping her hips, thrusting deeper from underneath her. She threw her head back and allowed herself to drown in pleasure as he called out her name in his own release.
She collapsed against him, feeling their heartbeats thundering in tandem, as they both attempted to regain their equilibrium.
She should wake up this way every day.
21
By dawn, the storm had blown itself out. Their first sign was that the power had come back on.
Despite the use of two more condoms, and her once again falling asleep in his arms—or maybe because of those things—Lexi looked decidedly uncomfortable once they got word from Sheriff Nelson that the roads had been cleared enough for them to make their way back to town. Baby Bollinger would get a tow truck out to rescue Mac’
s truck.
There wasn’t much talk between them as they packed up all their stuff and cleaned the small office as best they could. He would definitely be sending a cleaning service to the office. Because as much as the thought of him having Lexi bent over that desk still turned him on, the respectful thing to do was to have the place thoroughly cleaned before the gracious owners got back in there.
He hated that he was so unsure how to handle Lexi. What was going on in that mind of hers as they finished in the office and walked out to his SUV?
But what else was new? He never knew exactly what she was thinking.
They made mundane small talk about the recovery process after a blizzard. Wyoming certainly knew how to get things up and running again as soon as possible or else they’d never be able to function during the winter.
Lexi kept touching her face. She’d opened the visor from her perch on the passenger side and looked at herself twice in the ten minutes since they’d left the warehouse.
Yes, her makeup was smudged, and her hair was a mess. They both needed showers. But Lexi obviously wasn’t thinking about the amazing sex they’d had. Or if she was, her reaction was very different than his.
He finally reached over and grabbed her hand where it was balled into a little fist in her lap. He had to at least try and see if she would talk about whatever she was thinking. “Hey. You okay? Wished that you’d chosen to talk about yourself rather than use those condoms?”
The thought that she might regret what had happened, when it had been one of the most amazing nights of his existence for multiple reasons, twisted his guts into knots.
But she smiled at him. “No, I’ll choose condoms with you any day.”
She squeezed his hand. Okay. That was a start. “You sure you’re all right?”
She nodded but then brought her other hand up to touch her face again. “I need to get home. Get to my stuff. Take a shower.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to come hang out at my house? You won’t be able to open the Eagle’s Nest today anyway. And believe it or not, I have relatively decent shampoo and conditioner if you want to use it.”