Redwood

by Janie Crouch

  She looked out the window. “Rain check? I need a minute to regroup. I’m not sorry about last night, I promise. It was amazing and everything I wanted and needed.”

  Don’t push. You promised to give her what she needed. If that’s space, so be it. He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed the back of her palm. “Ditto.”

  “Thank you for understanding.” A shadow fell across her face, a look that bordered on despair.

  “Hey.” He kissed her hand again. “You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?”

  As soon as the words came out of his mouth, he wondered why he’d said it. Of course she wouldn’t tell him if something was wrong.

  Don’t push.

  But his instincts screamed the opposite. Told him to make a stand right here and demand every piece of information from her. That it was the best way for them to move forward—maybe the only way.

  But he’d given his word. He’d let her keep her secrets unless she wanted to share them.

  “Sure, I’d tell you if something was wrong,” she whispered.

  They both knew she was lying.

  Over the next week, Gavin found out that a person could see you every single day, have sex with you a couple of those days, and still avoid you. Lexi had it down to an art.

  Twice in the past week, she’d come over to his house after her shift at the Eagle’s Nest. And though their lovemaking had been as mind-blowing as it had in the warehouse office, he hadn’t been able to talk her into spending the night with him afterward.

  She was struggling with sleep again. He told her he didn’t mind if she stayed awake—she could eat anything in his fridge, wander around any room, or his personal favorite, keep him awake for more sex.

  She’d smiled, but she’d still left. And he’d let her go. He’d wanted to help—especially now that he knew more about the history of her insomnia and how it was tied to her guardians’ twisted use of medication. She’d been conditioned not to sleep, to be dependent on others. He wanted to help recondition her brain to feel safe enough to sleep.

  But that was going to take trust, and trust took time.

  So all he could do was let her know he had a place for her in his life and hope she would slowly learn to fit herself into it.

  But here he was on Christmas morning about to pressure her yet again. He wanted her to come with him to Dad’s house. To spend the holiday with his family—his brothers and sister and two little nieces.

  He didn’t want her to be alone. But more than that, he didn’t want to be without her. Insisting she join him was as much for him as it was for her.

  He’d invited her last night when he’d seen her, but she’d said she had plans.

  So here he was, back to his old ways, sitting outside of her apartment waiting to see if her “plans” were what he thought they were: going over and hanging out at the Eagle’s Nest by herself. He hadn’t seen her so far, so maybe she’d been telling the truth.

  Maybe Mac had invited her to spend the holiday with him and his family. Or maybe Wavy had invited her over for the Bollinger family festivities—they pretty much invited everyone who wanted to come. Wavy was the only person he’d ever seen Lexi talk to outside of the bar. Lexi’s friend—to the degree Lexi had friends.

  But if his hunch was right, even if Mac or Wavy had invited Lexi, she had turned them down, not wanting to intrude on a family holiday.

  Not wanting to get too close.

  Sure enough, not a minute later, she came bounding out of her apartment and turned toward the Eagle’s Nest.

  He shook his head. That little liar. She was so good at telling people what she thought they wanted to hear. At pretending and playing a role.

  He sighed and gripped the steering wheel. He should leave her alone. He’d told her he wasn’t going to press and would let her keep her secrets.

  But damn it, nobody should be alone at Christmas unless that was what they really wanted.

  He got out of his SUV and followed along behind her, telling himself if she really wanted to be alone, he would let her with no pressure. But she was going to have to convince him of that first.

  At least she was wearing the matching hat, scarf, and gloves set he’d gotten her for Christmas. He’d wanted to get her something more—something beautiful and much less practical, or more practical, like a high-end coat suitable for Wyoming winters—but knew she wouldn’t accept any of those things. So he’d start with what she would accept and move from there.

  He was learning that lesson with damned near everything about her.

  He reached her before she got inside the bar only because she walked all the way across the parking lot to get the bar’s mail from the mailbox. She was staring at a letter in her hand as he approached from behind.

  “I never believed you for a second, you know.”

  She spun around, obviously in a panic. There wasn’t a bit of color on her face. “Wh-what?”

  “Jesus, Lexi, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” He took a step toward her to steady her, but she moved back so quickly she almost stumbled. Her eyes were huge in her face, her movements jerky.

  “Wh-what did you say?”

  He wanted to grab her, pull her into his arms, and tell her he’d been kidding, but instead he forced himself to stand absolutely still. Moving toward her right now was the wrong thing to do. “I was making a joke. A really bad one. I was saying I didn’t believe it yesterday when you said you had other plans. I’m sorry.”

  “I . . . Other plans?”

  “You know, Christmas? I invited you for Christmas brunch with my family?” A little bit of the color was coming to her face now, thank God. He took a step toward her, profoundly relieved when she didn’t back away.

  “Right. You didn’t believe I had other plans. That’s what you meant.” The words were as stiff as her shoulders.

  He was such a dumbass. “Lex, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have snuck up on you. I wasn’t trying to, but that’s no excuse.”

  She looked down at the letter she had clutched in her hand. “No. I overreacted. I . . .” She held up the mail. “I got startled by the mail.”

  “The mail? Not the dumbass sneaking up on you?”

  She laughed weakly. “Maybe that too.”

  “Merry Christmas, Green Eyes.” Slowly, very careful not to make this situation any worse, he pulled her into his arms. “I like seeing you wear the stuff I got you.”

  She wrapped her arms around him, and he could finally breathe. “I like being nice and warm in them. Merry Christmas. What are you doing here?”

  “As I not so gently stated, I knew you were fibbing yesterday about having other Christmas plans. Catching you in the act and dragging you off for the holiday seemed like a good idea right up to the point when I scared you to death.”

  She stiffened again. “I promise I wasn’t trying to lie. I—”

  “You’ve been emotionally avoiding me since we made love at the warehouse, and having Christmas with my family would be a step in the wrong direction if you’re attempting to put distance between us.”

  She shot him a surprised look.

  “Am I right?” he asked.

  “You’re not wrong.”

  “I know I said I would give you space, and I will if that’s what you really want. If you want to spend the day alone in peace and quiet, and not be around my family—which is very definitely neither quiet nor peaceful—then that’s totally fine. But I want you to do that because that’s what you really want.”

  “Gavin . . .”

  He kissed the tip of her nose. “There’s plenty of time to put more distance between us tomorrow. It’s Christmas today, come be with me.”

  She looked back down at the mail again like it was going to give her answers, then finally looked back up and nodded.

  “Okay. I’ll come with you.”

  22

  She’d made a huge mistake. She knew it as soon as they pulled up in front of the house in a gated community
in the outskirts of Reddington City a little over an hour later. House wasn’t the word for it, more like stately manor.

  She probably wouldn’t have said yes at all if that letter hadn’t thrown her into a panic, coupled with Gavin’s innocent, yet untimely words about not believing her.

  No one had believed her last time she’d gotten a letter from the stalker right before he’d found her and almost killed her. For a brief moment, she’d been thrown back in the middle of that. Discombobulated enough to say yes to his invitation.

  That, plus the fact that she’d been keeping her distance for the past week and he had ever so gently called her out on it. She hadn’t expected him to realize she was holding herself apart. He was getting sex, so he shouldn’t have noticed if she kept her emotional distance.

  But he had. And she had to admit she was impressed. So she’d said yes.

  When Gavin had walked her back from the Eagle’s Nest and explained that his family dressed up for brunch, that had actually made sense to her. Every place she’d traveled on Christmas Day had a more formal dress code.

  He’d assured her that the dress she’d been wearing the night they met, the one she’d found at a thrift shop and repaired herself, would be fine. He looked so ridiculously handsome himself in his dark pressed pants, white collared shirt, and blazer.

  For just a little while, driving here had felt so normal, like from her old life. Granted, her old life hadn’t included much Wyoming. But dressing up to go out to a nice holiday brunch? No work or money or stalker problems hanging over her head? That was a part of the old life she’d gladly visit again. A nice meal with good company at a restaurant that would serve delicious food.

  They weren’t at a restaurant or a country club. They were at his father’s house, which was large enough to tell her she wasn’t the only one who’d been keeping secrets.

  “Actually, this isn’t Dad’s main house,” Gavin said as they drove past the front of the house to turn down the driveaway.

  “This isn’t his main house?” The size of this house shouldn’t affect her at all. She’d owned a house bigger than this in Los Angeles, although she’d only actually gone to visit it half a dozen times.

  And at the end, she hadn’t really owned it at all—it had been in Nicholas’s and Cheryl’s names.

  “No.” Gavin turned into the long driveway. “Dad’s . . . business is more in Cheyenne than here.”

  “Evidently, business is booming.” She turned to him with eyes narrowed. “You haven’t told me everything, Sheriff Redwood.”

  He shot her a sheepish look. “The important thing is, you’re going to like my family. My baby sister, Lyn, is here, and she’s possibly the kindest person on the planet. My brothers, Trouble Twins Part One, are going to flirt with you, not only because you’re super sexy, but also to drive me insane. Andrew’s daughters are too adorable to survive in this world. And you’ll love Dad, because, well, everybody loves Dad.”

  He was talking faster than she’d ever heard him. He was nervous. She’d seen him drive through a freaking whiteout with more aplomb than he was showing now.

  She reached over and wrapped her fingers around his wrist where he gripped the steering wheel. “Gavin. Are you sure you want me here?”

  “What? Yes, I promise you’re not the problem. We’re going to have a great time. You’ll see.”

  Was he trying to convince her or himself?

  “Shit,” he muttered. “It looks like Dad also invited my ex-wife and her husband for the festivities.”

  He pulled up in front of one of the six garage spots and punched a code in on his phone. The door opened, and they pulled inside.

  “Are you . . . okay with that?”

  He shrugged as he turned off the SUV. “It’s not like I want to spend time with her, but I’ve accepted that she’s attached to Dad because of their . . . business.”

  Lexi shook her head and studied him. There was something he wasn’t telling her. “You know I don’t understand, right? Whatever it is you’re not telling me—I’m not able to put the pieces together on my own.”

  He raised an eyebrow that fairly screamed touché. She chuckled at that. She had to admit, being kept in the dark was frustrating. She had a new respect for his restraint in not demanding answers from her.

  He picked up her hand and brought it to his lips. “I’m glad you’re here with me and that we get to spend this time together.”

  She smiled, ignoring the warmth spreading through her chest at his words. “Me too.”

  They got out of the car and walked into the house through a side door. That told her a lot—not entering through the formal front door like they were guests. Gavin took her coat and hung hers beside his on hooks by the door.

  Lexi wasn’t exactly sure what she’d been expecting inside the stately manor, but Alvin and the Chipmunks blaring a Christmas song was not it. Neither was the sound of children laughing hysterically.

  “My nieces, Trouble Twins Part Two, Caroline and Olivia. Two and a half years old.”

  “Oh, I didn’t realize either of your brothers was married.”

  Gavin shook his head. “They’re not. Andrew is a single dad.”

  “Uncle Gabbin! Uncle Gabbin!”

  Two curly-headed waifs, one dressed in red and the other in green, barreled toward Gavin, obviously ecstatic to see him.

  Something in Lexi’s heart clenched at the sight of him picking up those two little girls and letting them kiss him all over his face.

  “There’s my chipmunks. I missed you so much. This pretty lady is Miss Lexi.” He bounced the red-dress girl. “This is Olivia.” Green dress. “This is Caroline.”

  They waved but weren’t nearly as interested in her as they were their Uncle Gabbin.

  Caroline patted him on his face with her tiny hands. “Come see my new dolly.”

  “I got a football, Uncle Gabbin,” Olivia chimed in.

  He set them down. “I want to see! Let’s go.”

  Lexi grinned at him as they followed the girls into the huge, high-ceilinged living room that opened to a dining area set with a giant buffet of food across the table.

  “Gavin!” a huge male voice boomed. “I didn’t think you were going to make it, but I’m glad you did. And you brought a friend. Thank God, now maybe you won’t be so cranky.”

  “You didn’t tell them I was coming,” she murmured, elbowing him in the stomach.

  “Does it look like there’s not enough food?” he whispered back.

  That was definitely true. The spread on the table in the dining room could feed most of Oak Creek.

  The girls had run to their huge pile of toys over in the corner, Gavin forgotten as they revisited their treasures.

  Gavin led her further in with a hand on her back. “Merry Christmas, Dad. Everybody, this is Lexi.”

  Lexi looked around the room, smiling and giving a little wave. “Merry Christmas. Thanks for having me.”

  There wasn’t time for an awkward pause before one of the twins—the adult male, just-as-sexy-as-Gavin twins, she wasn’t sure which one—winked at her.

  “Now that Sheriff Pain-in-the-Ass is here, can we please eat?” winking twin said. “I call the seat by Lexi. She’s obviously more interesting than anybody else here.”

  There was a bout of laughter.

  “Yes, let’s eat, then we’ll talk more with Lexi about her questionable life choices, like hanging out with my son,” Mr. Zimmerman said with a good-natured grin. He looked around the room. “I’m thankful to have all of you here, thankful all of you are safe.” The big man reached over and wrapped his arm around a woman who looked like a miniature version of Gavin. That had to be Gavin’s sister, Lyn. “I’m thankful all of you are healthy.”

  A member of the house staff—Lexi wasn’t at all surprised to see them here, this food had obviously come from somewhere—brought around a tray of champagne flutes and everyone took one.

  Gavin’s dad held his up. “To family. To old friends. T
o new friends. All are welcome in this house. Merry Christmas.”

  “Merry Christmas,” they all responded.

  They all clinked their glasses, then Gavin’s brothers made a rush for the table. Lyn hugged her dad, then walked across the room to kiss a man who’d been standing near the window, silent but smiling. That must be her husband, Heath. He had that same aware gaze as Gavin, the one all the Linear guys had.

  “Hungry?” Gavin whispered in her ear.

  “Always.” He winced at her words, and she realized that probably wasn’t the right thing to say given his feelings about her empty pantry. “I mean . . .”

  He wrapped an arm around her and kissed her temple. “I know what you mean. And you’re welcome to eat everyone under the table here. Although good luck beating my brothers.”

  He winked at her, his face so soft and playful, she couldn’t help but reach up and touch that strong jaw. He was relaxed here with his family. He might not agree with all the choices his dad had made, but he didn’t need to be on guard here. That was what family was supposed to mean.

  When they finally looked away from each other, everybody in the room was staring at them.

  Gavin ignored it and took her hand, pulling her toward the buffet table. His dad was filling a plate. “Dad, this is my friend Lexi. She lives in Oak Creek.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Zimmerman.”

  “Please, call me Ronald. So happy for you to be here with us today. So tell me, are you a registered voter in Wyoming?”

  “Dad . . .” Gavin warned.

  “Just trying to figure out if I’m courting a voter or being myself today.”

  Gavin rolled his eyes. “Aren’t they the same?”

  She took the plate Gavin handed her. “No, I’m not registered to vote in Wyoming.”

  Ronald winked at her. “Good. Then I can be myself.”

  “You’re in politics?”

  Ronald glanced at Gavin, then back at her. “I dabble.”

  A woman dressed impeccably in a pleated vintage Halston dress walked up to the other side of the table, taking some fruit from a bowl. “Your toast was beautiful and eloquent as always, Governor.”