Out of the Ashes

by S. M. Lynn

  Once I hit the sidewalk in front of the building, the anger and frustration I’m holding in pours out of me the only way it can, in tears. Once I’ve composed myself enough that people on the street are no longer staring at me, I check my watch. I still have over an hour to kill before I’m supposed to meet Gavin at Prestige so I decide to find the nearest FedEx store and log some computer time before heading over. I haven’t had the time or really even thought of doing this in the last few months.

  There was a time when the first thing I thought of in the morning was Lauren and what happened to her. I was obsessed, yes obsessed, with making sure my secret was never found out. Daily, I’d go to a computer lab on campus and search to see what information had been found on her case. Luckily the only evidence they ever found was exactly what was planned for them to find and eventually the case went cold. Over the last year, it seemed that Lauren went further and further from my mind. I’ve grown lax in making sure everything stays buried but life’s been so good lately I haven’t felt the need to keep looking over my shoulder. That should’ve been my first clue that trouble wasn’t far off.

  Once inside, I rent one of the cubes. Glancing around, I pull up the search engine. I type in “Natasha Carmichael” and “Dean Marcus” and am immediately hit with various pictures of them at events. They look good with Natasha on Dean’s arm. I click a link to one of the articles and am immediately astounded at what I see. Dean Marcus to wed Natasha Carmichael. Scanning the article there’s only a brief mention of Lauren; it simply states that the two of them became close when they had to rely on each other after the abduction and presumed death of Lauren Carmichael. No mention that Dean had been engaged to Lauren before she went missing; nothing about Natasha, who’s 13 years older than Dean, being Lauren’s mother.

  Clearing that search and growing slightly bolder, I type “Lauren Carmichael”. There are still quite a few articles even though it’s been more than three years. Most are from conspiracy theorist that got caught up in the case early on and refuse to let it go. The rest are a result of the announced engagement bringing the disappearance back into the spotlight. The last articles that interviewed anyone from the police are over a year old and those all say the same thing. There are no new leads, no new evidence; it appears to have been a kidnapping gone very badly, resulting in Lauren’s death. The case remains open but without any new information, it’s a cold case. And that means the odds of finding out exactly what happened grow slimmer as more time passes.

  I’m glad to see that there is nothing new to report. I really don’t know why I torture myself like this. No wait, that’s not true, I do know why I do it. I have to make sure they never find out what really happened to Lauren because if they did the life I spent the last three years building would come crumbling down like a house of cards.

  My thoughts are filled with Lauren and what could have been for her. It all feels like so long ago, a lifetime ago. After digesting all the information I’ve just seen, I glance down at my watch. Oh my god, have I really been sitting here for over an hour? I will have to hurry if I’m going to make it on time for drinks with Gavin.

  ~

  I rush into the restaurant hoping that I’m not too late. “Sorry lost track of time.” I’m sure I look disheveled between the earlier crying routine and now nearly running 13 blocks because I couldn’t find a taxi. Gavin gives me a curious look. “Excuse me for one moment, while I run to freshen up.” I take a few minutes in the bathroom to run my fingers through my hair, wipe my face with a cool towel and then apply some lip-gloss. There at least now I can be seen in public.

  “So what was that all about?” Gavin says now that I have given him time to talk.

  “Nothing, just had a bit of a rough afternoon,” I say picking up the drink menu. “A few of these will cure anything that’s ailing me though.”

  “Did the interview go badly? I thought you had the job handed to you on a silver platter.”

  “No, that’s fine. I accepted the job.” Gavin let’s out a small squeal but I continue anyway. “The end of lunch or maybe it would be more appropriate to say the middle of lunch, Ian turned cold and claimed he had some calls to make and just left me there. Then when I went to HR to get things set, the lady there… Well let’s just say she’s not the friendliest of HR managers and won’t be joining the Celeste Brooks fan club anytime soon. She looked like she wanted to strangle me and basically insinuated the only reason I was hired is because of how I look. I felt as if she somehow knew I’d slept with him.” I let my mind wander; if they were close or together would he have admitted to her what happened between us? “But then come to think of it, Ian did say in his reasons that he thought I was stunning.”

  “Whoa, stop right there. Mr. Hot Boss told you he thinks you’re stunning. Well, guess we already established he thinks you’re hot since he fucked you until you couldn’t see straight then stole your panties. I guess him liking how you look isn’t something that’s really debatable.”

  I do have to laugh about the panties because really who does that? Though in all fairness, I couldn’t have worn them again anyway. “Really, out of everything I just said, that’s the part you focus on. God Gavin, what if he just hired me because he thinks the way I look will help persuade clients his way? Or because he thinks I’ll do for them what I did with him?”

  “Celeste, was that the only reason he gave for hiring you?”

  “No, but…”

  “No buts. If the man said there were other reasons and your stunning good looks were only one of them then I’m sure that’s not the only reason he hired you. We men are pretty literal creatures.”

  “Not sure if I would throw you in the class of men but I get it. It’s just so… inappropriate. I could hardly focus on anything else after he said it and the worst part is I want him to find me attractive. God, the man is my boss. Maybe I should just quit while I’m ahead. I can always go back to KPMG.”

  “You’ll do no such thing! I’ve listened to nothing but Jacobs Enterprises this and Jacobs Enterprises that for the last two and half years and I won’t listen to anymore. You’re keeping this job if I have to dress, drive, and drop you off there every day. No more arguments about it!”

  “What would I do without you? Promise me when some hot young thing snatches you up, you’ll still have time for me.”

  “Always, doll!” He smiles his million-watt smile at me as the waiter approaches to take our order. I haven’t had anything since the sandwich at lunch but am really not in the mood for food. I’d rather drink my dinner tonight. Besides other than finding a dress, I don’t have to be to work until 1:00 tomorrow.

  “Oh, I forgot to mention, Ian’s taking me to charity function tomorrow night and has given me the morning to shop for a dress. Care for a little outing.” I say wiggling the black AmEx, which I took from the envelope Rebecca had given me, in front of him.

  “Bitch!” He blurts loudly and some of the restaurant patrons turn to see what the commotion is all about. “He gave you your own card? I thought it was just a stipend.”

  “I’m sure it has a limit.”

  “Darling, do you not realize what you are holding there? That card is the most exclusive of the exclusive; the only limit on that thing is there is no limit.”

  Holy shit! “They’ll probably keep a close watch on what I buy with it. Anyway, I have to get a dress and all the accessories tomorrow and then be in the office by 1:00. So are you up for it?”

  “Hell yes, you couldn’t keep me away. We’re going to do you up right. The man thought you were stunning after just seeing you a few times, wait until he sees you tomorrow night! He won’t be able to keep his eyes, and probably his hands, off you. I’m so jealous; just so you know.”

  “Gav, I don’t want him to… Oh never mind. What’s the use? I don’t know what I want.” After the other night, I would almost give up the job just to be with him again but it doesn’t seem like that’s what he wants. “It doesn’t really matter what I wa
nt anyway. Despite a few innuendos, he was completely professional and seems to really want me to join the company.”

  “Celeste, I’m sure this is all very confusing for you but how many times have you told me about this dream job? Couldn’t he be your dream man too?” His face darkens and turns serious, “I’ve gotta throw out a warning though. Don’t give up your future for a man. I know that better than anyone.” Oh no, Gavin, I want to say; I know it too, learned it the hard way as a matter of fact.

  Returning to his playful self, Gavin grins at me over our drinks that have just arrived and holds up his glass. “To hot bosses, hot dresses, and stunning roommates.” He always knows how to bring me out of any funk; and my earlier tangled emotions over the end of my time with Ian, the meeting with Rebecca and the news about Natasha and Dean are forgotten as I reach the bottom of my third glass.

  After a couple more drinks, Gavin stands and indicates that it’s time to begin our rounds at the clubs. “Can we run home for a couple minutes first? I’m not exactly dressed for a night out.”

  “Sure but no taking hours to get ready.” He winks at me.

  I rush to the apartment when we step out of the elevator and run into my room. I have already had way too many at the restaurant and no dinner to top it all off. But what the hell! I want to get out, have some drinks, and dance my ass off. I slip into the black and silver sequin banded dress and the black studded Louboutin’s Gavin brought home for me. They are sky high and I’ll probably be on my ass by the end of the night but they look hot. Hooking my stockings into my garter, I step into the shoes and then quickly run into the bathroom to check my makeup. Despite my earlier episode, my face doesn’t look too bad. Dabbing a little highlighting cream under my eyes and then some lip-gloss, I am ready to go. I grab my earrings off the dresser and put them in as I walk into the living room to find Gavin waiting for me.

  “Holy hell, woman. Are you trying to give all the men at the club a heart attack? We all know how this turned out last time. Maybe we should find a sack or something for you to wear. Then again it probably doesn’t matter what you wear, a hot woman is a hot woman.” He winks at me and I roll my eyes in return. “Hey, gorgeous when you’ve got it, you’ve got. And you, Celeste, you definitely have it. If I was straight… Well let’s not get into fairy tales, but you know what I’m saying.”

  The night with Ian made me more fearless and in my alcohol fueled state, I felt emboldened and ready to take on anything. Maybe even find me a hot man of my own to bring home for the night, no that thought needs to be erased from my brain. There was no way I was EVER making that mistake again. Once is enough for me; thank you very much.

  I turn to the door. “Are you just gonna stand there or are we gonna go shake our asses?” Giving my ass a shake for good measure.

  Gavin lets out a long whistle and then is right beside me at the door. “Let’s go but I can see I’m going to have a keep close eye on you tonight. Now no running off with any hot men, least of all ones you will be working for the next day.” He nudges my shoulder with his and gives my ribs a tickle, feeling very playful tonight.

  Chapter 6

  When we arrive at the club, the line is around the corner; I figure there is no way we are ever going to get in. Instead, Gavin walks straight up to the security guard. “Hey Brett,” he says with a wink. The large bouncer gives him the once over then smiles. “Hey, Gavin. You going to be here long tonight? I don’t finish until close but if you’re here, make sure you find me before you leave.” And with that, no paying cover or anything, he pulls the cord back and lets us through, staring at Gavin’s backside as he walks past.

  Staring in disbelief at Gavin, he just shrugs. “I met Brett last week at the gym and we hit it off. He mentioned that he works here as a bouncer and that I should stop by some night if I had time. And since this is one of the hardest clubs in New York to get into, I thought what better night than tonight. Now it looks like the night just got better because not only do I get to dance with the hottest woman here and make all the straight guys jealous; I’m going to go home with that hot piece of ass. Oh but don’t worry, I’ll be home in plenty of time our little shopping excursion.” Then with a wink, he’s gone up to the bar for drinks.

  Handing me a vodka and cranberry, we scan the crowd. This place is packed, and I can tell why. The DJ is awesome and in the VIP section you can actually catch a peek of some real celebrities, not that they’ll be coming out to mingle with us but it’s still pretty fucking awesome. Once I have downed my drink, I grab Gavin and drag him to the dance floor. The music is thumping and I lose myself in the rhythm. Gavin’s right there with me.

  The dance floor is packed and it’s not long before I feel a strong pair of hands come around my waist and turn me toward their owner. Gavin glances at me to make sure I’m okay and I give him a nod looking toward the stranger. He’s cute in a rugged sort of way; looks like he could use a shave but the look works on him. We dance a few songs with his hands at my waist and then they start to slip lower and he uses the leverage to pull me into him. I can tell he’s really interested; no, I can feel on my stomach how interested he is. Well, we have been grinding on each other for the last twenty minutes, so what did I expect? He hasn’t really said much but it’s wonderful to just get lost in the sea of bodies and have this hot guy with me.

  His embrace tightens and he turns to lead me off the dance floor. Oh no, this definitely isn’t what I had in mind. I shake my head at him indicating that I intend to stay out and dance some more. His tugging becomes more insistent. I look around for Gavin but can’t see him the crowd. I try to shout over the music to the guy who now has a death grip on my waist but he either can’t hear me or is completely ignoring me. I try to push him off hoping that will get his attention. All it gets me is a tighter grip to the point my feet aren’t really on the floor and he is carrying me off the dance floor. Holy shit! Panic courses through me and I think I’m in serious trouble here.

  Suddenly the tight arm around my waist is a little more relaxed and I’m back on my own feet. The guy carrying me has stopped moving and he’s trying to look casual, like we were mutually in agreement to leave the dance floor. He tries to step to the side around whatever is blocking his path and finally, I see what stands in front of us. There is Ian Jacobs flanked by two of the largest men I have ever seen and Connor is directly behind them. What the hell? That seems to be becoming my new mantra this week.

  “I don’t think the lady is ready to leave the dance floor, sir.” One of the bouncers says.

  The guy with his arm on me just smiles. “Oh, I’m pretty sure from the way she was dancing with me just now she’s more than ready to leave the dance floor.”

  “Miss, did you want to leave with this gentleman?” Unable to speak at the sight of Ian, I simply shake my head no.

  Turning back to my captor, the bouncer goes on, “Sir, I must ask you to let go of the lady and leave the premises immediately. If you cannot comply then we’ll be forced to escort you out.”

  Stubble guy looks confused for a moment; he looks down at me like a child who is about to have his candy taken away. After several long minutes his gaze drifts back to the security guards trying to gauge how serious they are. Apparently, he hesitates a little too long because the guards are on him in a second and now he’s the one being carried to the front door.

  Ian and Connor continue to stand in front of me. Ian hasn’t said a word and the look on his face is one of pure rage. Is he angry with me or stubble guy? What did I do? I just wanted to dance; it’s not my fault stubble guy couldn’t handle that dancing was all I wanted to do. Seeming to recover, Ian acknowledges me with a tip of his head and a small smile, not the panty dropping one, and walks back toward the VIP section, where I see him join a group of people. Repeat mantra, WHAT THE HELL?

  I go up to the bar to order another drink and take a few minutes to bring my heart rate back within a normal range. As the bartender hands me my drink, Gavin appears out of the crowd. �
��Where the hell have you been? I’ve been looking all over for you. You started dancing with that guy and then suddenly I couldn’t find you anymore.”

  Oh shit, I’m in trouble now. I thought Gavin had moved off to dance but in actuality, stubble guy had purposely led me away from him. Gavin’s expression isn’t as severe as the one Ian was sporting a few minutes ago but I can definitely tell he’s not happy with me. “Then I see the bouncers dragging his sorry ass out of here. What the hell, Celeste?”

  Yeah, that’s pretty much been my thought all night. “I’m sorry Gav. The guy picked me up off the dance floor and was trying to make his way god knows where, to do god knows what with me.” Oh, I didn’t even want to think about that right now. I down the other half my drink in one giant gulp and signal to the bartender that I want another. I need to get my mind off of what almost happened, what could have happened. “Then suddenly,” I continue, “Ian, Connor and two of the biggest bouncers I’ve ever seen were blocking his path. The bouncers, um, escorted him out of the club. Sorry to have caused a panic.”

  I give him my sorry eyes hoping that will alleviate some of his anger. For a moment his eyes narrow, he’s obviously thinking about what could have happened. Then his gaze softens. “I really need to keep a better eye on you. No leaving my side for the rest of the evening, understand?”

  “Yes, dad.” I try to joke but can see it’s lost on him. He doesn’t need to tell me that, there’s no way I’m going to let him out of my sight for the rest of the night. The bartender arrives with my drink but as I reach out to grab it, Gavin swoops in and drinks it down in one drink. “Hey!” I protest loudly.

  “Oh no, babe, I am cutting you off. We can stay and dance but it’s water only for you for the rest of the night. I should have insisted that you eat something earlier.” He says shaking his head. Gavin always seems to know when I need to be taken care of without taking it too far and making me feel like a child; it’s been that way since we met.