Violet’s Bucket List

by Embers, Tuesday

  Slowly, and with a few false starts, I leaned up on my toes, my fingers snaking up his shirt to the collar. I gave the stiff white material a tug, bringing him closer this time, instead of trying to get away. “Eli?” I whispered, my voice quavering in time with my knocking knees. Though we’d already kissed, this one felt different – like we would be promising each other something more permanent than a fleeting flirt. I couldn’t help the question that tumbled out of me, but I had to know. “Are you real?”

  His eyes were kind enough not to laugh at me, instead drinking in my inexperience with men and deciding I was the right fit for him. “Aye. I’m real, and I’m yours, if you’ll have me.” He ran his freshly shaved cheek up and down against mine, setting my nerve endings on fire and sending me to a level of bliss I wasn’t sure I deserved, or could handle with any sort of grace. “Kiss me, Violet. I’m dying for it. It’s been too long I’ve lasted without ye.”

  I wanted to run, but I knew I couldn’t deny his lips when they were so close to mine. Like two thirsty magnets, our mouths met timidly at first, lapping at the satisfying connection neither of us could seem to shake.

  The kiss grew in its fervor – two hungry people dying for a taste. He was the only one who could satiate the ache that only kept coming the longer we were apart. My fingers threaded through the short hairs at the nape of his neck, bringing him closer to deepen the kiss. His tongue didn’t bother teasing. He took what he knew I wanted to give him, but was too shy to ask. His hands gripped and stroked my back, as if holding onto the edge of a cliff that he knew our passion might push him clean over. Though he was clearly out of my league, he made the same frightened noises under his breath that I did. We were attempting something far more harrowing than a simple stab at a relationship.

  When we finally crested however many elongated minutes and whole time-zones later, we kept going in for little nips. Eli was an addictive drink, and I couldn’t stop longing for everything that was him. Both exciting and relaxing, he was the beauty that had been missing from my life. I’d never known it was possible to ask the universe for a man like him, but somehow, there he was, begging to be explored.

  He cursed under his breath. “Shite. I’m going to be late for work if I don’t leave now.” He kissed me again, and I melted as if it was the very first one we’d shared. “I’ll be home after three in the morning. Go to sleep early tonight, Mouse. I’ll be sneaking into your room when I get back to steal myself another kiss.”

  I nodded, reaching up to kiss him again and again. “How dangerous is your job? Like, does your boss get attacked often?” A second fear shot through me. “Does he get shot at?”

  “Nah. Only when he runs his gob.” Eli paused to suck on my lower lip, as if he’d forgotten the taste of my cherry lip gloss. “He has guards, so no one thinks to try anything. It’s mostly for his peace of mind. I open the door for the lad and keep the women at the clubs away when he’s working.”

  “Be careful,” I begged. A whole new set of worries began to plague me. “It matters if you come home or not.”

  Eli pressed his forehead to mine, his nose sweeping back and forth across my own. “Tell me you’re my home.”

  “I’m your home,” I declared with sudden boldness, latching easily onto the idea he presented, “so come back to me in one piece.”

  He pressed his lips to mine once more. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

  18

  007 in Bed

  I awoke well before my alarm went off, sleepily aware of a second body in my bedroom. Something rough bristled against my cheek, making my toes curl in that delicious way only the sexiest of men can do. Caty had fallen asleep either in Brady’s room or on the couch, leaving the whole double bed just for me. My heavy eyelids opened to a sight that was too heavenly to be real. Eli in a suit, yet again. Twice in one night was just overkill, stretching the limits of how handsome a man could be to its brink. I yawned and stretched, scrubbing my eyes to see if that might clear away the vision that roused me. “Eli? ¿Que pasó? Am I dreaming?”

  “Do ye often dream of me?”

  I nodded guiltily, reaching to the nightstand to turn on the lamp. “Only if I’m very lucky. What time is it?”

  “Three-thirty. I shouldn’ta woke ye up. Ye were sleeping like an angel.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, and it was then I realized that he was staring at me in the same way I gaped at him. My hands flew over my tank top and shorts under the covers, double-checking that I’d remembered to wear pajamas. He opened his mouth like he wanted to say something important, but closed it again.

  “Come here,” I offered, finally being the brave one. I blame it on the early morning hour.

  Eli’s shoulders relaxed, and he slid off his suit jacket, folding it over the footboard. “Well, what sort of lad could say no to an offer like tha?” He loosened his tie and unfastened his top two buttons, letting me see the perfect model a little disheveled.

  Even sexier. I don’t know how he did it.

  I scooted over to give him room to sit on the edge of my small bed, rolling onto my side to face him. My body curled around his hip without me telling it to, and the sigh that wafted out of my mouth was inadvertent. I was so content to have him in my space. Perhaps it was because it was three-thirty in the morning, and I wasn’t firing on all cylinders. I probably should’ve been worrying if I’d left dirty laundry on the floor or something, but in that quiet pre-dawn moment, I couldn’t be anything but enraptured that this was the direction my life had finally taken. If only my mother could see me now.

  I gazed up at the perfect vision that was Eli, and noticed his pensive stare. “What’s on your mind?”

  “Have ye ever been to the opera before?”

  I shook my head through a yawn. “No, but it sounds fancy. Was it nice, or did you have to spend most of the show working?”

  “I want to take ye to the opera someday. I think you’d like it. I thought it’d be boring, but it was… I don’t know. I can’t shake it. I had to come home and see your face. I needed something beautiful, and there ye were, hair laid across your pillow like an angel sent just for me. Violet, I…”

  I couldn’t imagine what drugs he must be on to think that I should be anywhere near his hotness radar, but I didn’t argue with the blessing that surprised me with its luster and candor. He had an earnest look in his eyes, but the words seemed delayed, somehow stuck inside of him, working uphill against the mill to eke their way out. “Yes, Eli?”

  He cleared his throat. “I want to meet your parents. I want them to know I’m around, and that I’m not going anywhere.”

  More perfect words had never been spoken before in the history of the English language. Of all the things he could’ve said to me, that was the best one a man could say to a woman. However, the sweet sentiment surpassed where I sat on the sidelines of life. “I’m sure my mother would’ve loved that, but she’s not around anymore. Died last year. Breast cancer.” I shrugged, as if the whole thing wasn’t a hole in my chest that gutted me from time to time. “And I don’t know who my father is. Split when he found out my mom was pregnant.” My eyebrows furrowed together as I scratched an itch on my shoulder. “I think maybe his name was Javier, because my mother would flinch every time someone said that name. I get the feeling he wasn’t a good guy.”

  Eli closed his eyes and cupped the side of my face, gripping my cheek, as if my old wounds cut him. “How’d ye turn out so well, losing your mammy like tha? Were ye close?”

  “The closest. Still hurts sometimes. At least she got to see me graduate from college, and go on to use my degree.” A sentimental smile swept over my face as I stared at nothing in particular. “I’m the only person in my family to ever get a degree. She got herself a new dress for my graduation. It was white with pink poppies along the hem. Pretty. Got all dolled up because she wanted everyone to know that her daughter was a college graduate, and our family was going somewhere. She was a housekeeper up until I took over the bills when she was too sick
to work. Immigrated from Mexico to give me better opportunities. I got to show her that all her sacrifices weren’t for nothing.”

  “Is tha why you’re such a hard worker? To make your mammy proud?”

  I nodded, my eyes wetting. “More like I wanted to be like her. No one worked harder than my mom. Scrubbing toilets and floors all day, and then quizzing me on my homework at night in a language she had a hard time learning.” I refused to let the tears fall. I’d cried enough in Brady’s arms and Caty’s. No matter how many tears came, they never brought her back, so they were useless to me. My mother knew I was in good hands with Caty and Brady, and I wasn’t about to wreck it all by falling apart every time I felt sad. I’d never get out of bed if that was the case. My mother got out of bed and went to work no matter what. I would be my mother’s daughter if it killed me.

  Some days, the pain was so biting, I thought it just might.

  Eli grimaced. “Jays, Brady and your mammy must’ve been diagnosed around the same time, then. Tha must’ve been terrifying.”

  I rolled onto my back and picked a point on the ceiling, exhaling out a steadying breath. I didn’t speak until I was sure the tears wouldn’t explode out of me. I was quite familiar with the pain of suppressing my agony, so I could keep my head up through another day. “It was the worst and second worst news of my life, right in a row.”

  “How’d ye get through it?”

  I shook my head slowly, not wanting to admit that I wasn’t through it. Every time Brady winced in pain or caught a cold, it set my heart racing and twisted my stomach into knots. “It’s not about me. Brady needed Caty and me, so we were there. Every doctor appointment, every sleepless night. The stretch of time he had to take off work because he was too sick to get out of bed, we covered the bills and took care of him. It’s why he was so eager to offer to foot the bill for Caty to start over again. He’s always trying to give us money to pay us back for those six months.” I scoffed and rolled my eyes, the moisture pooling, but thankfully, never falling. “Like we want a dime. All we want is for him to stay healthy. I’d give all the money in my savings for that without a blink.”

  Eli watched my face carefully, studying the hardness and the softness that make a woman unique. When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet and respectful. “I think your mammy would be proud to see how ye take care of your own.”

  I cleared my throat, eager to get the spotlight off myself. “Tell me more about you. I can’t talk about myself this much. Too painful.”

  “I like hearing it,” he said simply. Then, when I didn’t say anything to shift the attention away from him, he started off with great reluctance. “’T’was my Da and my brother Seamus growing up. Da worked on the family farm, raising sheep and growing vegetables, but ye already knew tha.”

  “Growing up on a farm sounds way cool. I’m sorry it didn’t suit you.”

  “Da didn’t really know what to do with us boys when Mum died with us so young. Twins can be a handful, especially boys.”

  I sat up, my hair disheveled and my tank top twisted around my torso. “Hold the phone. You’re a twin? Please tell me he looks nothing like you.”

  Eli quirked an eyebrow at me. “Identical to the smallest toe. Why? Ye thinking of trading me in?”

  “Well, that’s just unfair to the rest of the world. I can’t fathom the universe with two of you in it. It’s too much sexiness for one planet.”

  Eli chuckled at my totally serious comment. “Aye, well the similarities stop there. Seamus is a drunken fool. He gambled away part of his inheritance, so he’s stuck working it off on the farm with Da. He doesn’t believe in the military, and I knew I couldn’t stay at home and herd sheep for the rest of my life, so we parted ways. The day I enlisted was the last day I’ve spoken to my brother, same time I stopped speaking to my Da.” Eli’s voice quieted, and he reached for my hand, looping his fingers through mine so he had something to focus on. “He said if I left for the Service, tha I shouldn’t come back. Tha I was choosing the brotherhood over my own brother.” He cleared his throat. “If my family was a family, I’d take ye home to meet them first thing.” Finally, a small smile introduced a hint of longing to his features. “Da would be taken with your brown skin. You’d be treated like the daughter he always wanted, but never got.”

  “You’d want me to meet your family?”

  “If they were one, yes. I haven’t…” He glanced around my room, as if just seeing the details for the first time. “I haven’t belonged anywhere in a long time, but I like it here with ye.” He shook his head, as if to clear the admission from the air. “I came in for a kiss, and now I can’t shut my stupid gob. I haven’t talked about my brother to anyone in years. This Hot Girl Blurts thing, is there a cure?” He started to bite his nails.

  I shook my head with a sheepish smile. “I’ll let you know if I ever find one.”

  “I’ll let ye get back to sleep. I’ll be on the couch if ye need me.”

  “The couch?”

  “Aye.” He jerked his thumb toward the door. “Caty’s asleep with Brady in his bed. Thought they might like some privacy. Seemed kinda intimate.”

  When the next words tumbled out of my mouth, they were so quiet, I was surprised Eli heard them. “Stay with me tonight, then.”

  Eli seemed to swell with emotion, needing the invitation as much as I needed to find the boldness inside of me to offer it. “I’d like tha.”

  “Just sleeping,” I clarified, knowing I would faint if I saw him naked this early in the game.

  He stood and held up his hand in a pledge. “Aye. Ye won’t get no funny business from me. I’ll just be dreaming about it.”

  “In your dreams, you might want to dress me in something sexier than an old tank top and shorts.”

  He leaned over and kissed the vulnerable part of my neck, letting out a low “mm” when my head lolled back with sheer delirious pleasure. So strange that he was able to summon the butterflies inside of me on command. “I think I’ll dream about ye exactly as ye are. It doesn’t get much better than this.” He pressed his lips to mine just once, savoring the kiss that made us both sigh. “I’ll go change and be right in. Keep the bed warm for me, Mouse.”

  Eli’s brief absence gave me time to do a quick sweep of my bedroom, picking up anything that might turn him away and choose the couch as a better option than my bed. The box of Lucky Charms he’d given me was safely tucked in my closet, still with the bow atop the box. I’d taken the vase of mums he brought home for me into my bedroom earlier. The loveliness brightened the whole space with hope and elegance.

  When he came back in navy flannel pajama pants and no shirt, I feared my Hot Guy Blurts might ruin the night. Luckily, Eli took charge, sliding into the narrow bed and turning the lamp off.

  I’m not sure if I kissed him, or borderline attacked. His body was too sexy, juxtaposing nicely with his bashful smile. He should’ve been cocky to command a firm body like he had, but he was humble, sweet and eager. Our lips met in a crash we were both ready for, but it somehow still caught us by surprise.

  The lights were off, which took away my desire to keep the pacing tame. I didn’t hold back, letting the feathery moans come as they wished. My nerve-endings delighted in his hands that roamed under the sheets, grabbing my butt far more possessively than he ever would in the daylight. We were hungry for each other, starving for more, and still more. When Eli bit down on my lower lip with a greedy growl, I knew he’d been holding back for my sake. I needed both sides of him – the gentleman who brought me flowers and held my hand in the supermarket, and the boxer who slid the hem of my tank top north, leading the way to a more frantic entanglement.

  Oh, how loved being tangled up in Eli.

  He pulled me atop him, my thick thighs straddling his hips. When I pressed my torso flush to his, his hips couldn’t stop slowly bucking, undulating against me to let me feel just how infatuated he was.

  But… But I was supposed to be the earnest lover who couldn’t get
enough. I was the one in bed with Irish Channing Tatum, yet he was caressing my curves as if I was the elite. He was ravenous, but firm, his frantic movements cresting into a man who knew what to do with a woman on the verge.

  Eli gripped my thighs and rolled me over so he was on top. His hands slipped to my open knees, anchoring me to him so he could nip at me in a pattern of biting, and then licking to soothe the playful assault. He peppered my body with the sting, followed by tenderness, mixing my emotions until I was a trembling mess beneath him.

  I lost all sense of time, my breath coming in husky pants as my eyes rolled back in sheer delirium. I was incoherent, my body feeling like pure silk that had some sort of electric current running through it every time Eli bit at a new part of me I left open to his perusal.

  It was nearly five in the morning when we finally exhausted each other, my brain a perfect mess of incoherent sentences from sensory overload.

  He flopped on his back and rolled me onto my side, waiting the three seconds it took for my body to give in to its desire to curl around his. My leg draped over his thigh, and my head rested on his shoulder. My hand found its solace atop his chest. My fingers played in the light tufts of hair, exciting and relaxing us both.

  “I want ye every night, just like this.”

  I couldn’t form words – he’d demolished me into a puddle of barely awake murmurings. I wanted to tell him, “That was fantastic. Yes, tomorrow night I’ll have the same thing, and the night after that. Screw sleep, and please, please screw me.” But of course, I’m never that clever when Eli’s near, especially at five in the morning.

  Eli pulled the blankets up over us, cocooning our entwined bodies in the warmth that felt like decadence and comfort rolled into one. His arm moved under the sheets until his hand found my knee. The light teasing he did to the underside of my thigh kept me from drifting off.

  Eli’s voice was quiet in the darkness. “Mouse, are ye sleeping?”