Ignited

by Suzannah Daniels

We sat in comfortable silence. I was glad that he didn’t feel the need to say anything. “I have days when I think about death. Most days, I would never say something like that out loud, but I’d been drinking. I guess the alcohol stripped me of my inhibitions. Someone like you matters. People trust you. People admire you. People need you. Someone like me?” I shrugged my shoulders. “I could vanish right now, and it wouldn’t make a difference.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “Isn’t it?” I asked, the pitch of my voice higher than usual.

  “If something had happened to you that night, it would have made a difference to me.”

  I pursed my lips to keep them from quivering.

  “I know that sometimes life sends people to a place so black that it seems inescapable,” he said softly, his voice filled with understanding, “but it only takes a single candle to disperse the darkness.”

  “A candle does me no good if I have no way to light it.”

  “Then let me light it for you.”

  Moved by his generosity, hot tears flowed down my cheeks, and I quickly swiped them away. If I’d had any doubts before, I was pretty sure that Hawk had sealed my impression of him by his willingness to help a total stranger who was stumbling in the dark.

  I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that there was no oxygen in my darkness, that there was nothing that would allow a flame to take hold and burn.

  In my world, there was nothing but blackness.

  Chapter 4

  Pike Pole

  Hawk

  Her sadness was palpable. As a firefighter, I was trained to use a pike pole to pull down ceilings and walls, looking for hidden fires, to break out windows for ventilation. I’d even used it once to pull a man who had fallen in flood waters to safety.

  Amber had been engulfed in sorrow. I didn’t know why. Not yet. But much as I poked and prodded with a pike pole to assist in fighting fires, I would use the same technique to tear down the walls around her. I would figure out what was necessary to rescue her from the bleak environment in which she found herself. I’d made saving people my mission in life, and come hell or high water, I was going to save her.

  For me, there was no other option.

  I reached out and touched her shoulder, noting how thin and frail she felt beneath my gentle grip. “Does your neighbor have a phone? I meant it when I told you that you could call me if you need me. Even if it’s just to talk.”

  Sniffling, she wiped her eyes again and nodded as she attempted to regain her composure. “Yeah, she does.” She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. It’s been a difficult week.”

  I released her. “No apology necessary. I mean it. Call me. Day or night.”

  Turning toward me, the corners of her mouth lifted ever so slightly. “Thank you.”

  “I have a training conference this coming week. It’s in Chattanooga, so I won’t be back until Thursday afternoon.”

  “Would you do me a favor while you’re in Chattanooga?”

  “Sure, if I can.”

  “I’ve got a letter I need to mail. If I give you the money for a stamp, do you think you could mail it for me? I bet the hotel could even take care of it for you, so you wouldn’t have to go to any trouble.”

  “I’d be happy to.”

  “Let me grab it.”

  She hopped up and went inside. A couple of minutes later, she came back with the letter and some change.

  “I’m not worried about the money,” I assured her as I accepted the envelope.

  “Take it.” She held her hand out, waiting to drop it in my palm. When I made no effort to get the money, she spoke again. “Here. I insist.”

  I lifted my hand, palm side up, and she dropped the money in it. I stuffed it in my front pocket.

  “Maybe I could swing by and check on you when I get back in town,” I suggested, pushing myself off her porch and standing in her front yard. “We could even grab a bite to eat, if you want.”

  “That’s sweet of you, but I’ll be fine.” She squinted as she looked down at me from her position on the porch, her hair gleaming like liquid fire in the sun’s brilliant rays.

  Resisting the urge to rub my eyes, I blinked a couple of times before I focused on her once more. “I’ll let you get back to your company.”

  She gave me a small wave, and with a nod of my head, I turned around and headed toward my vehicle.

  By the time I slid behind the wheel, she was gone, and I caught a glimpse of the front door as she closed it.

  After laying the envelope on the dashboard, I opened the console, pulled out the bottle of eye drops, and opened them. I leaned my head against the leather headrest and liberally squirted the soothing liquid into each eye. After several rapid blinks, I wiped away the excess liquid and tossed the bottle of drops back into the console.

  Noticing a half-used sheet of stamps, I plucked them from the miscellaneous items that filled the console. I peeled off a stamp, stuck it to Amber’s envelope, and threw the rest of the sheet into the console and snapped it shut.

  Glancing at her neat handwriting, I noticed that the letter was addressed to Deborah Lawson in Gulf Shores, Alabama. I briefly wondered how Deborah was related to her as I tossed the envelope into the seat next to me and left.

  The Creekview Post Office was on the direct route between Amber’s house and my parents’. Since I’d no longer have to buy a stamp, I steered into the convenient pull-off in front of the old brick building and fed her letter to the blue metal box.

  Relieved that her envelope was now safely in the hands of the postmaster, I headed to my parents’ house. My mother cooked dinner every Sunday evening, and skipping it without a damn good reason wasn’t advised. Besides, I knew she’d have my favorite—chicken and dumplings.

  Chapter 5

  Forcible Entry

  Amber

  On Monday morning, I got ready for work early, so I would have time to walk to Boone’s Pharmacy. I usually rode my bicycle, but I’d gotten a ride from a coworker to the party on Saturday, leaving my bike chained to a bike rack behind the building.

  By Tuesday, I‘d fallen into my normal routine. The swelling on my forehead was slowly going down, leaving a nice purple bruise in its place.

  I shouldn’t have gone to the party, and I really wasn’t sure why I did. I’d done a good job of keeping to myself. When my coworker had asked if I wanted to go, part of me did. Part of me wanted to forget all the misery, to put it behind me and purge it from my mind, even if it was just for one night. After some heavy drinking, all I really wanted to do was get back home. I was in no mood to socialize. I wasn’t ready. Some days, I didn’t know if I’d ever be ready.

  On Thursday afternoon after my shift at the pharmacy, I bought Gracie a new toy, a cute little mouse that squeaked when it was squeezed. It was strange to admit that my best friend was a fur-covered critter who ate spiders for sport, but as pathetic as it sounded, it worked for me. Gracie showered me in unconditional love. She kept me company with no drama and no demands.

  I craved quiet, and I’d found that my solitude offered me just that, even if I didn’t yet feel peace. I hoped as time passed, I would begin to feel like my old self, but for now, I’d take comfort in the fact that if no one knew where I was, I could sort out my life without further complications.

  Pedaling along the back roads, I took joy in the late summer weather. The days were cooler now with the promise of autumn just around the corner. I loved the freedom I felt as the wind caressed my hair and the sun warmed my skin. It made me remember what it was like to feel that all was right with the world, even though I knew it was only a façade.

  When I reached my duplex, I turned down the driveway, the smooth pavement giving way to rough gravels that sent vibrations through my body. I clenched my teeth together to prevent them from rattling together with the movement. Coming to a stop at my tiny back porch, I locked a cable around my bike and the metal handrail.

  Grabbing the small bag from the basket attache
d to the handlebars, I let myself in the back door.

  “Gracie!” I called as I walked through the tiny kitchen into the living room.

  I spotted her in the windowsill, soaking up the warmth of the sun as she watched a robin land in the front yard to begin its search for worms.

  “Guess what I got you, Gracie?”

  She turned her head and looked at me as she stretched her front legs, her hind end poking into the air. Lazily, she jumped down. Once she was on the floor, she ran in my direction, meowing as she rubbed against me.

  Sitting down on the couch, I pulled her toy from the bag as she gracefully jumped on the cushion next to me, smelling the bag.

  I removed it from the packaging and squeezed it rapidly, forcing a high-pitched squeak from the mouse. Waving it in front of her face, I tossed it across the room, and she darted towards it, batting it between her paws before she finally sank her teeth into it, eliciting the mouse’s reward of a shrill yelp.

  “You like that?”

  With the toy clutched in her jaws, she turned her yellow eyes on me as if to answer.

  “I knew you would.”

  A soft knock sounded on the front door. Expecting Natalie, I swung the door open, getting ready to tell her about Gracie’s new toy.

  My mouth had started to form the words when I realized it wasn’t Natalie.

  It was Hawk.

  “Hey.” He grinned at me, but it was his eyes that drew my attention, the color of them reminding me of summer and lakes and the marbles that my little brothers stuffed in their pockets.

  “Hi.” Obviously, he was finished with his training, and while he had mentioned stopping by, I hadn’t encouraged it and really hadn’t expected it.

  With his hands clasped behind his back, he shifted his stance, backing up as I stepped onto the porch and closed the front door behind me.

  “How are you?” he asked.

  My fingertips automatically found what remained of the bump on my forehead. “I’m good. My knot’s almost gone.”

  “I’m glad to hear it.” His mouth tilted up in a sad smile. “Now,” he said, pausing a moment, “how are you really?”

  “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “I mean how’s the girl who didn’t want to be saved.”

  I shrugged. “She’s still here trying to get through one day at a time.”

  He pulled one hand out from behind his back and offered me one perfect red rose. “This is for you.”

  Taking it from him, I rubbed my fingertip along the petals. “It’s very pretty.”

  He lowered his eyes to the flower in my hand. “I thought so. Sometimes, I think one single flower is even prettier than a vase filled with them. You can appreciate all the nuances of it.”

  I nodded in agreement. “It’s definitely made my day a little brighter.”

  “Good. I was hoping it would.”

  Pursing my lips, I lifted my eyes to his face.

  “I don’t know what’s made you so sad,” he said softly, concern evident in his voice. “I’ve been thinking about the accident all week, and I can’t get your words out of my mind.”

  I lowered my eyes, hating that in a moment of drunkenness I’d allowed a total stranger to glimpse my desolation.

  “Did you know that one is my favorite number?” he asked.

  I shook my head.

  “A lot of people underestimate the power of one.” He watched me intensely, his voice soft and soothing. “I don’t know if you have anyone in Creekview you can talk to, but if you don’t, let me be your one, let me be the one person who can help you, the one person who can make a difference. If you have someone else that can fill that role, then by all means, let them. If you don’t, just know that you’re not alone, that you have me.”

  “But you don’t even know me.”

  “I know enough.”

  I lifted the rose to my nose and inhaled deeply as I thought about his words.

  “Why don’t you let me take you to dinner?” he asked.

  I rubbed my palm across my face, suddenly feeling extremely tired.

  “That’s a pretty ring,” he said.

  Lowering my hand, I gazed at the large emerald-cut diamond on my ring finger as it reflected the brilliant rays of the sun. The ring fell sideways, a side effect of my losing weight, and I pushed it back in place by lifting my pinky next to it.

  “Is that an engagement ring?” he asked. “Because if it is….”

  “He died,” I blurted.

  A flash of understanding crossed Hawk’s face, and he nodded as if everything made sense now. “I’m sorry.”

  I swallowed the lump that was quickly forming in my throat. “I am, too.”

  “If you want to talk, my offer for dinner still stands.”

  I studied his face, and in his features, I saw strength and kindness and concern. His dark brows drew together over brilliant eyes, creating a crease between them. His angular jaw was set as if awaiting my answer was of the utmost importance.

  “I can’t.”

  “I understand.” He cupped his nape with his hand, his muscles flexing with the movement. “Well, give Gracie a scratch behind the ears for me.”

  “I will.”

  He trotted down the steps, and then stopped, looking over his shoulder at me. “Bye, Amber.”

  I waved, and after he turned back around, I slipped into the house, collapsing against the back of the door as I closed my eyes. I’d come to Creekview with the intention of keeping to myself. Going to the party had proven to be a terrible idea. Now Hawk was all but forcing himself into my life, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.

  Running my thumb over the large diamond that rested on my finger, I thought about my deceased fiancé. He had been my first and only love, and I had devoted myself to him, consumed by the desire to be Mrs. Carrington Reed, III.

  Since I hadn’t come from the same social circle as the Reeds, his parents hadn’t approved of me, but Carey hadn’t cared. And neither had I. We were in love. We weren’t out to please the world, to do what society demanded of us. We wanted to be happy, and that meant being together.

  But now he was gone.

  My loyalty to him remained strong, and Hawk’s attention made me feel in some ways that I was betraying Carey.

  Hawk had been nothing but a gentleman, and he hadn’t indicated that he had an interest in me other than being my friend. But still…it just felt wrong.

  An irritating voice kept bubbling to the surface, reminding me that Carey wasn’t coming back and I didn’t want to be alone forever. It’d been several months, and I still missed him desperately. I kissed the ring, knowing it was as close to him as I’d ever be able to get again.

  A rapid knock sounded at the door, and I pulled it open.

  Natalie smiled at me, her hair pulled into braided pigtails. “Hi, Amber.”

  “Hey, Natalie. Did you have a good day at school today?”

  She shrugged. “It was okay. I only got in trouble for talking once.”

  “Well, that’s good, I guess.”

  “My friend had to go to her brother’s piano lesson. I thought I might play with Gracie until she gets back.”

  “Of course you can. Come on in.”

  She spotted the rose in my hand. “Ooh, pretty! Can I smell?”

  I handed it to her, and she drew in a deep breath, puffing out her chest as she inhaled.

  “That smells so good,” she said, her eyes closed with the rose poised right under her nose.

  “It does, doesn’t it?”

  “Where’d you get it?”

  “A friend of mine brought it to me.”

  “Why? Is today your birthday? My dad always gets my mother flowers for her birthday.”

  “No, it’s not my birthday. He was just being nice.”

  She handed it back to me. “You should put it in some water. That’s what my mother does. Then you can watch it bloom.”

  “That’s a good idea. Why don’t I put it in some wa
ter while you find Gracie?”

  I walked into the kitchen and trimmed the stem, so that it would fit in a coffee mug full of water. Natalie was calling Gracie when I came back to the living room and placed the mug in the center of my scarred coffee table.

  Unable to resist the temptation, I lifted the rose to my nose one more time and breathed deeply, comparing the sweet fragrance of the rose to Hawk’s sweet gesture.

  It had only taken the briefest of moments for him to see my misery. It seemed odd that someone who knew virtually nothing about me actually knew more than some people who’d known me my entire life. Of course, my family knew that I’d been suffering after the death of my fiancé. They just didn’t know to what degree.

  The rose petals were soft beneath my fingertips, and they were just beginning to open, hinting at the beauty the bloom promised. Hawk was sending me a message not to give up.

  And I hadn’t realized until this moment just how much I needed to hear it.

  Chapter 6

  Evacuation

  Hawk

  Mason poured multiple shots simultaneously from a single tin as Cade and I grabbed the two empty bar stools next to Seren. Three couples sat in front of him fixated on his performance as the liquid that filled each shot glass was a different color. When he was finished, the six shot glasses in front of him were a rainbow of colors from blue to orange.

  “What a freaking show-off,” Cade grumbled under his breath.

  I chuckled. “Jealous much?”

  “Jealous he’s not pouring all those shots for me.”

  “You wouldn’t share with us?” Seren asked Cade, raising her eyebrows as she glared at him.

  “I’d share with you,” he replied, “but Hawk’s my designated driver. No shots for him.”

  “That leaves more for me.” Seren shot me a grin.

  “Are you driving?” I asked her.

  “Yes,” she drawled out. “I was just teasing. I’m going to finish my Pear Martini, then I’m switching to water.”

  “Hey, guys!” Mason called, twirling coasters at us. “What’ll it be? The usual?”