Ignited

by Suzannah Daniels

  “I’m glad to hear you’re keeping a positive outlook.”

  “I just wish a big gust of wind would come in and clear them out. I loved my fiancé, and I never want to forget him. I’m a better person for having known him, but it’s been several months. I want to stop focusing on the bad stuff and remember the good stuff.”

  “You will.” I thought about all the things that I could say to her to try to make her feel better, to reassure her that she would be happy again. But it would be pointless. Everyone grieves in his own way, and nothing anyone says can make the process easier.

  So I remained silent. Instead, I hoped to help her discover for herself that she could be happy again, that even though he was no longer here, the world still needed her, that she needed to live.

  “Why don’t you let me take you somewhere? Somewhere that’s safe. I don’t think you should go home tonight.”

  “I’ll be fine. Besides, Gracie needs me.”

  “I could take you to my house or to a hotel, and then I could go by and feed Gracie.”

  “I just want to go home.”

  “Okay. If you’re sure….”

  “I am.”

  I walked her to the passenger side and held the door open while she climbed in, and then I drove her the short distance to her duplex.

  Following her to the porch, I kept a watch on the street to make sure no one had followed us.

  She opened the door. “You want to come in?”

  “Why don’t I take a look around? Just to make sure no one’s inside?”

  I saw that same expression of panic cross her face, and I realized that the thought hadn’t even occurred to her.

  “That’s a good idea,” she said, nodding in agreement.

  Gracie ran toward us from the kitchen, and I couldn’t help but imagine her waiting beside the cabinet door that held the food. She meowed loudly and rubbed against my pant leg.

  “Traitor,” Amber said lovingly to her as she bent down and scooped her up.

  As I reached out to rub Gracie under the chin, my allergies kicked in. My eyes burned, and my throat felt scratchy.

  “Is it okay if I check all the rooms? The closets?”

  “Yeah, have at it.”

  Already being familiar with the kitchen, I started there. I checked the back door to make sure I saw no sign of entry. Noticing Gracie’s food bowl was empty, I knew she’d be making Amber fill it soon. Crossing the room to the pantry, I opened it, ensuring that no one was in there. I turned my head to sneeze. After rubbing my eyes, I glanced inside again, surprised to find it fully stocked with a lot of the same things I would see in my mother’s pantry: bags of flour, sugar, spices—the kind of ingredients that were used when making things from scratch. None of this stuff had ever even seen the inside of my cabinets, and I wouldn’t have known what to do with most of it if the grocery store were giving it away for free.

  When I walked back through the living room, Amber sat on the couch with Gracie crouched across her lap. Every time Amber stroked her back, Gracie’s butt would lift into the air. Then she’d lower it back down, and the entire process would start over again.

  I checked the small bathroom in the hall, tugging the shower curtain back to make sure the tub was empty. The fixtures were outdated but clean. As I pulled the shower curtain back into place, I noticed a hamper filling the only available wall space.

  Moving on to the bedrooms, I opened the door to the one at the front of the apartment. The room was small with the same outdated blue carpet as the living room and a single blind-covered window on each of the outer walls. Other than two good-sized boxes lined up against one wall, the room was empty, and so was the closet.

  That left her bedroom. As I passed back through the hallway, I heard her in the kitchen opening a cabinet and talking to the cat, and I knew without even looking that Gracie was demanding that her food bowl be filled.

  I opened the door to Amber’s room, pausing at the threshold as I peered inside. Her bedroom suite was old and scuffed, the glossy finish long since worn away. The bed was neatly made with a new pale blue comforter, simple and inexpensive. A pair of lacy black panties lay in the floor in a crumpled heap, and I imagined her getting ready in a hurry this morning and having since forgotten that they were there.

  In an attempt to respect her privacy, I crossed the room and checked the small closet, which was stuffed with clothes and shoes. No matter how much a man wanted to hide inside, there wouldn’t have been room. Turning back to the bed, I dropped to my knees and peered underneath. There was nothing, not even a shoebox.

  Other than her panties, nothing was out of place. The room was simple and clean with no trinkets, no photos, no clues to her life before Creekview.

  Joining her in the living room, I sneezed twice.

  “Bless you.” She rose from the couch and approached me. “You shouldn’t have come in here with Gracie.”

  “No big deal. I just wanted to make sure you were safe. In fact, I still don’t feel good about you being her alone. You sure you don’t want to come back to my place?”

  “That’s really not necessary.”

  I frowned, wondering how I could convince her to come with me. If something happened to her because she stayed here alone, I’d never forgive myself.

  “I have cookies.”

  A small grin broke across her face. “Cookies? Did you really just try to entice me with cookies?”

  I realized it was the first time I’d ever seen her smile.

  “Not just any cookies. My mother’s homemade chocolate chip cookies.”

  “So your mother made you cookies?”

  I shrugged. “She didn’t exactly make them for me. I stopped by a couple of days ago, and she was pulling them out of the oven. Who can turn down homemade cookies?”

  “They sound delicious, but I think I’ll stay here just the same.” Her smile slipped away, and the momentary glimpse of her happiness vanished.

  “What if this person knows where you live? You don’t even have a phone.”

  She didn’t immediately respond, and I hoped she was thinking about the truth of what I’d said. “I could stay here. Sleep on the couch. Or out in my car.”

  Her eyes shot to my face. “There’s no need, Hawk. I’ll be fine.”

  “Okay,” I finally relented, not wanting her to get the wrong impression. “Do you have to work in the morning?”

  She nodded. “I’m usually off on Sundays, but one of the other girls needed off. So I’m filling in for her.”

  “What time do you have to be there?”

  “Eight.”

  “I’ve got to be at the station at seven. Why don’t you call me after you get to work? Just to let me know that you’re okay.”

  “I can do that.”

  “You still have my number?”

  “I do.”

  “Good. I’ll unload your bike. Where do you want me to put it?”

  “You can just park it by the porch in the back.”

  I turned to go out the door.

  “Hawk?”

  Glancing over my shoulder, I answered her, “Yeah?”

  “Thank you. I know you went to a lot of trouble tonight, and I appreciate it.”

  “I told you to call me if you needed me. I meant it. Good night, Amber.”

  “Good night.”

  After parking her bike by the porch, I called my brother, Jace.

  “Room service.”

  My mouth twitched into a grin as I slid in the driver’s seat and started home. “You couldn’t come up with something more original than that?”

  “Hey, it’s getting late, and my brain’s tired. What’s up?”

  “I want you to do me a favor.”

  “What?”

  “Could you check the Missing Persons report tomorrow and tell me if you see Amber Lawson’s name on it?”

  “Whoa! Is that the chick from the car fire?”

  “It is.”

  “And what makes you think she�
�s missing?”

  “Something she said. I don’t know that she’s missing, but I wanted you to check.”

  “Are you still talking to her?”

  “Yeah. She’s new in town and doesn’t really have anyone. She called me tonight because she thought someone might be following her.”

  “Did she file a report?”

  “No, she said she wasn’t sure they were following her, but she was definitely freaked out about it. It makes me think she could be in trouble or something.”

  “Damn, that’s weird. You may be getting yourself mixed up with a psycho or something.”

  “I don’t think so. I think she’s just going through a lot of shit right now. Her fiancé died a few months ago, and she’s taking it pretty hard.”

  “I’ll check the report tomorrow.”

  “Thanks.”

  “No problem.”

  After I hung up, I wondered what was really going on. Was she just being paranoid?

  Ventilation was an important tactic when fighting fires. Proper ventilation would assist in clearing smoke and heat from a burning building, making it easier to rescue victims and extinguish the fire.

  Amber had actually smiled tonight. Much like releasing smoke from a burning building, I was going to carefully expel her sadness one friendly gesture at a time, one joke, one happy moment, one smile. One was a powerful number.

  But I also had to remember that if ventilation wasn’t timed just right, it could actually increase oxygen to a fire, causing it to spread uncontrollably. Like most things in life, timing was everything. If I pushed Amber too hard, she’d mostly likely run again, and the despair that she harbored could rage out of control.

  I would take my time, constantly reevaluating the situation. For now, I would just be there for her, watching, listening. And when the time was right, maybe I could convince her to go out and do something fun as friends.

  She’d tried going to a party once, and it had ended in disaster—not because of the wreck, although that was a disaster in itself, but because in the end, she’d just gotten drunk and depressed.

  She hadn’t been ready.

  She hadn’t had someone looking out for her.

  When I thought of the melancholy that surrounded her the night of the accident, it troubled me. I’d had a glimpse of her smile, and it had illuminated her face. In that moment, she had taken my breath.

  Now that I’d seen the briefest hint of happiness cross her features, I knew that it was possible to reignite her enthusiasm for life.

  And if it hadn’t been already, saving Amber had just become my top priority.

  Chapter 8

  Scuttle Hatch

  Amber

  I lay awake most of the night, straining to see if I heard any unusual noises and wondering whether I had really been followed. When I wasn’t torturing myself with the day’s events or the misery of my situation, my thoughts drifted to Hawk.

  I’d settled in Creekview because no one knew me and no one was likely to find me, but after meeting Hawk, I had to admit that I was glad I had someone in my life, someone who hadn’t been part of my past.

  He was exactly the kind of guy one might imagine finding in a small town, courteous and considerate and clean cut. He was handsome, too, although, I tried not to concentrate on that thought too much.

  I’d been afraid to let him stay, even though I would have slept much better if he’d been here. It just seemed strange having another man around, one who wasn’t my fiancé.

  Exhausted, I stroked Gracie who purred gently beside me. After checking the time on my alarm clock all night, time was up. My opportunity to sleep had slipped through my fingers like grains of sand, and now I had to get up if I was going to get to work on time.

  Forcing myself from bed, I zombie-walked to the shower and let the hot water wash away some of my fatigue. Wrapping a towel around me, I walked around my bed to the dresser to grab some underclothes when I saw them. The panties that I’d taken off yesterday morning were lying directly in the path between the bed and the dresser. I groaned when I realized there was no way Hawk could have missed them.

  “Thanks, Gracie,” I hissed as she lay on the bed staring at me with boredom. “If you hadn’t been pitching a fit to be fed yesterday morning, I would’ve remembered to pick these up. Now I’ll never be able to face Hawk again.”

  I snatched them up in my fist and glanced at Gracie to see if she looked repentant. She yawned and licked her paw.

  After making sure all of my dirty clothes were safely in the hamper, I dressed, pulling on a pair of khakis and a red pullover with Boone’s Pharmacy embroidered on the left side of the chest.

  When I was finished getting ready, I filled Gracie’s food bowl and stepped out on the back porch to get my bike. As I tossed my small handbag in the basket, I noticed a flash of red against the white basket. Moving closer, I leaned over the basket, surprised to see a small bag of candy. Fishing them out, I read the small yellow sticky note that clung to the front of the Skittles package.

  Thought you might need a rainbow today.

  Hawk

  Warmth spread through my chest as a smile spread across my face. He couldn’t possibly have known just how much this small gesture would mean to me, and I felt the sting of hot tears at the corners of my eyes. Blinking them away, I gently squeezed the package, feeling the small round, colorful candies beneath the wrapper. I read his note again, taking notice of his manly and slightly messy handwriting.

  Frozen in place, I read the note two more times before I finally tore a small corner off the package and squeezed a red and green Skittle into my palm. After popping them in my mouth, I tucked the opened package of Skittles into my handbag and pedaled along my gravel driveway.

  My mood was lighter than normal when I locked my bike on the bike rack behind Boone’s Pharmacy. Hurrying inside, I immediately went to a phone tucked in the back where I knew I could make a phone call without being interrupted.

  I dialed Hawk’s number and waited for him to answer. When it switched to voicemail, I couldn’t suppress the feeling of disappointment that washed over me. Not wanting him to worry, I left a message that I had made it to work and that nothing out of the ordinary had happened last night.

  When I hung up, I dumped out a few more colorful candies into my palm and read his note again.

  I did need a rainbow, and even I hadn’t known just how much.

  Hawk

  I was in the middle of a crew meeting when I got the phone call from an unknown number. I assumed it was Amber, and even though I couldn’t answer it, I was relieved just knowing that she had called.

  Once the meeting was over, I’d listened to her message. Not only had she let me know she arrived at work safely with no incidents but she also thanked me for the candy. When I hung up, I joined Mercury who was completing the checklist on the truck while I checked the cardiac monitor and medications. Once our morning duties were completed, we changed into shorts and started our work-out.

  He spotted me while I bench pressed.

  “You want a grab a beer when our shift’s over?” Mercury asked as he stood over me, his gloved hands on his hips.

  “I can’t today.”

  “Man, you always have a beer after work. What’s going on today?”

  Gritting my teeth as I strained against the heavy weight, I slowly straightened my arms, pushing the barbell up and dropping it into its resting position.

  “Wait a minute.” He grinned at me, crossing his arms over his thin frame. “It’s that girl, isn’t it? The one you were talking about at the training convention?”

  “Yeah, but it’s not what you’re thinking. I just want to go check on her after work.”

  “Check on her, huh? You playing doctor? Putting those paramedic skills to good use?”

  I shot him a look, and he laughed. “Don’t act like it hasn’t crossed your mind.”

  “She’s a nice girl.” I stood from the bench and motioned for him to take his turn.


  After adjusting the weight, he lay back on the bench. “Does she have any sisters?”

  I couldn’t recall her ever mentioning a sister. “I don’t know.”

  “Find out. We’ll take them out for a double-date.”

  “I’m not dating her.”

  “Yet,” Mercury emphasized. “You’re not dating her yet.”

  The thought hit me that not only did I not know whether she had a sister, but I really didn’t know much about her family at all.

  “What’s a matter? Is she not into you?” Mercury gripped the barbell and lowered it to his chest.

  “I told you it’s not like that.”

  “I’m calling bullshit,” Mercury said as he pushed the weights back up.

  “You don’t understand her situation.”

  He was quiet for a minute. “Is she married?”

  “No.”

  “Got a boyfriend?”

  “No.”

  “Attractive?”

  “She is, but….”

  “Yeah, I’m still calling bullshit.” He pushed the weights back onto the stand. Sitting up, he turned to look at me. “If she’s not into you, wear your uniform to her house. Chicks love uniforms.”

  “I don’t need to wear a uniform.”

  “So she is into you?”

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “Find out if she has a sister.”

  Giving up, I just shook my head, amused by his tactics.

  But I couldn’t help but wonder if things were different, would Amber consider dating me?

  ***

  During the next two weeks, I checked in with Amber periodically. She hadn’t experienced any more strange incidents, and while she didn’t seem overly happy, her demeanor had subtly changed. She usually greeted me with a smile, although I wasn’t sure whether it was because she was more comfortable with me or whether her melancholy was lifting. It seemed a change in geography had done her good, but she still had a long way to go.

  She frequently filled my thoughts, and she weighed heavily on my mind one Sunday afternoon as I was preparing to go to my parents’ house for dinner. I wondered what Amber’s family was like, whether she missed them.