The Goldfish Boy

by Lisa Thompson

  “Actually, could you do something for me now, Mum?”

  I reached into my back pocket and took out the tiny piece of wallpaper that I’d put there to keep safe. To keep me safe.

  “Can you throw this away?”

  I placed the Wallpaper Lion’s eye on her open palm.

  “What is it?” she asked as she studied it.

  I sighed.

  “It’s nothing. I don’t need it anymore.”

  I smiled at their puzzled faces and then went upstairs to my room.

  I knew the answer to Dr. Rhodes’s question now, the one about my hopes for the future. I turned to the back of my notebook and started a blank page.

  My Hopes for the Future, by Matthew Corbin

  One day I want to walk downstairs, put my arms around my mum, and give her a big hug. She’ll start crying, I expect, so then I’ll leave her to pull herself together and go and find Dad. I’ll give him a big slap on the back and say, “How about that game of pool now, eh?”

  Mum will cook us her finest roast dinner, popping her head into the conservatory every now and then to see how the game is going. We’ll sit at the table to eat as Nigel purrs, brushing himself against my legs, so thrilled to see me. Afterward, stuffed with food, we’ll collapse together onto the sofa and watch some old comedy film that makes us all laugh.

  That’s my ambition.

  That’s how I want my life to be.

  I want to go downstairs and rejoin the living.

  I could hear the laughter from my bedroom.

  Every now and then a wisp of gray smoke wafted past my window and then dispersed into nothing. Sue’s barbecue celebrating Teddy’s safe return was in full swing.

  An empty stroller sat in the shade of a tree in Hannah and Mr. Jenkins’s backyard. Baby Maxwell had arrived three weeks early on Sunday night, weighing a healthy seven pounds and ten ounces. The couple were over the moon, Hannah’s face now permanently fixed in a wide grin. I’d watched as she’d carefully wrapped her newborn son in a thin, white blanket before they headed to the party.

  Mr. Charles had left about twenty minutes ago and Mum and Dad not long after that. Of course they tried to get me to go with them, but I said I’d rather skip it.

  All those people.

  All those germs.

  I just couldn’t do it.

  Wednesday, August 6th. 7:02 p.m. Office. Sunny.

  Melody and her mum have just come out of their house. It looks like they are going to the party at number five. Claudia is carrying a bottle of wine and Melody has a tray of chocolate brownies.

  Melody had put her hair up, which I’d not seen her do before. She was wearing a pale yellow dress and brown sandals. She looked nice. They walked up Jake’s driveway and went around the side of the house toward the back, and then there was a screech of delight from Sue. I looked around for something else to note, but I wasn’t really in the mood, so I put my book down.

  The door to the Rectory opened and Old Nina appeared carrying a small bunch of flowers that she must have picked from her garden. She walked down her path, looking around nervously and patting at her hair. Stopping at her gate, she looked right up at me. I stared back. There was fear in her eyes. Then she put her elbows out at right angles and did a funny little shimmy.

  What’s she doing?

  Her face flushed pink. She was embarrassing herself, but she carried on doing her weird little jiggle. When she stopped, she looked up at me and smiled, then walked toward her neighbors and the party.

  I got it.

  She was dancing.

  I thought everyone was going to turn around when I walked into the yard, but apart from a few raised eyebrows, no one really reacted.

  “Oh Matthew, it’s so lovely to see you! Thank you so much for coming. Would you like a drink?” said Sue.

  I shook my head, my hands tucked neatly under my arms.

  “No, no thank you,” I said.

  Mum was talking with Mr. Charles and she looked over and grinned at me. Dad was helping Jake’s older brother, Leo, with the barbecue and he raised a hand and waved at me through the smoke. Old Nina put the flowers on a table and gave me a nod, and then she turned and headed down the side of the house, back toward the Rectory. It didn’t look like she was staying.

  Melody appeared in front of me, bouncing on the spot.

  “Matthew! You came!”

  “Hi, Melody.”

  “Do you want something to eat? They’ve got some amazing burgers!”

  She rolled her eyes when she said amazing and I laughed.

  “No, I’m good, thanks.”

  Jake came over, his face bright red as he held baby Maxwell wrapped in his white blanket.

  “Hannah just plonked him on me! What am I supposed to do?!”

  He bounced the baby up and down gently.

  “Nothing! You’re doing fine,” said Melody, laughing.

  “But what if he wakes up?” Jake said, looking more and more panicked. “What if he starts crying?”

  Mr. Jenkins was standing by the fence. He had one eye fixed on his new son. I doubt he was very happy that Jake was holding him.

  “It looks to me like you’re doing a great job so far,” I said.

  Jake stared down at the sleeping baby.

  “I dunno. His eyes keep flickering. Does that mean he’s got gas? I don’t like the look of it. I’m gonna take him back to Hannah.”

  Melody and I laughed as he carefully picked his way around the guests and outdoor furniture, bobbing the baby as he went.

  “He’s all right, really, isn’t he?” said Melody, wiping her mouth with a napkin. “I think he just wants some friends. Don’t you?”

  “Yeah, I think you’re right,” I said. “He just needs another chance.”

  We watched as he carefully passed Maxwell back to Hannah, laughing as he got his arms in a twist. He looked back at us and smiled, shaking his head as he walked toward the barbecue to get more food.

  I didn’t want to stay long. I just wanted to say hello to Melody and Jake, and show Mum and Dad that I was trying to change.

  “And how about you, Matthew? How are you doing? Are you going to be all right?”

  I swallowed as I looked around at everyone eating and laughing together. These people were my world, my neighbors, my friends.

  I turned and faced Melody.

  “I think I’m going to be fine,” I said.

  Lisa Thompson worked as a radio broadcast assistant, first for the BBC and then for an independent production company, making plays and comedy programs. During this time she got to make tea for a lot of famous people. She lives in England with her family. The Goldfish Boy is her first novel.

  Copyright © 2017 by Lisa Thompson

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  Cover design by Christopher Stengel

  e-ISBN 978-1-338-05394-4

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