A Winter's Wish Come True

by Lynsey James

Mum lifts a hand to her mouth and her eyes widen. ‘Oh Cleo … you must’ve been absolutely terrified. Come here.’

  She draws me into her arms and hugs me tightly to her chest, kissing the top of my head. It’s a little odd at first because she’s never been much of a hugger, but I relax into her embrace and give her an affectionate squeeze.

  She pulls back to look at me, worry etched into her face. ‘Why didn’t you phone me, sweetheart? I’d have driven you to the hospital and stayed with you.’

  She puts a finger under my chin to bring our eyes level. ‘I didn’t want to worry you,’ I reply. ‘I was terrified I was going to lose the baby and … I panicked, so I called Emma.’

  I see some of my mum’s trademark fire leave her eyes. Her shoulder slump and she sighs. I can tell I’ve really hurt her and my heart wrenches.

  ‘Tea?’ she asks.

  ‘I’ll make it,’ I say, taking a step towards the kitchen. ‘You go and sit down.’

  Mum grabs my arm and blocks my path. ‘No, darling, you go and sit down. You need to rest.’

  The look on her face tells me not to argue with her and I slink back to the living room without protest. She returns a few minutes later with two cups of tea, passing me one and keeping the other for herself.

  ‘How are you feeling?’ she asks. ‘Have the symptoms gone?’

  I nod. ‘I’m not bleeding or cramping anymore, so that’s good. My midwife said to give her a ring if it got worse, but I think the worst of it’s over.’

  ‘You know, Cleo … I know I’ve not always been the best mum.’ She puts up a hand when I open my mouth to protest. ‘I’m overbearing at times, I don’t know when to mind my own business and I haven’t always given you the support you deserve. That’s probably why you called Emma last night when you needed someone instead of me. And that really hurts, but I understand it.’

  ‘Mum, not calling you wasn’t a bad reflection on you. It doesn’t mean that I don’t trust you to be there for me, or that you’ve been a bad mum. You’ve been brilliant, even if you do drive me up the wall sometimes. I panicked when I saw I was bleeding and didn’t know what to do. I called Emma because I needed to get to the hospital quickly and I know she doesn’t mind breaking the speed limit on the odd occasion.’ I joke. I smile and go over to give her a hug. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I know you would’ve floored it as well. You know how to use that right foot when you want to! I just panicked and called the first person that popped into my head. It just so happened to be Emma.’

  Mum pulls me down onto her lap and wraps me in another tight hug. This definitely isn’t standard procedure for her, but I can’t pretend I’m not enjoying it.

  ‘It should’ve been me,’ she says, pretending to be in a huff with me. ‘I’m going to be the grandma, not her!’

  My eyes widen and I burst out laughing. ‘I’m sorry, did you just say grandma?! I thought you wanted the baby to call you Nina?’

  ‘Yes, well I’ve had a change of heart,’ she replies with a small smile. ‘Maybe I could get used to being called Grandma after all.’

  ‘I’m going to mark this on the calendar! Today, Mum finally decided she doesn’t want her grandchild to call her Nina.’

  ‘Very funny. You know I love you, don’t you? Even if I wasn’t your first choice of emergency contact.’

  I sigh and chuckle. She’s not going to let me forget this in a hurry. ‘What did I do to deserve you?’

  ‘Something wonderful, no doubt. Now, get back under that blanket and I’ll make you something to eat. You won’t be lifting a finger today.’

  I’m about to point out that I’m absolutely fine and haven’t been confined to bedrest, but she shoots me that infamous look of hers. The one that says don’t mess with me, Cleopatra Jones.

  So I do as I’m told, snuggling under the blanket and reaching for the remote to indulge in a Netflix binge. Maybe a duvet day on the couch won’t be so bad after all.

  *

  Mum spends most of the day treating me as though I’m recovering from a serious illness. She makes her famous chicken soup for me, along with numerous cups of tea, and even goes over to the bakery to buy me some red velvet cake. We snuggle up together on the couch and watch some films on Netflix while she strokes my hair. It’s a lovely, lazy sort of day and I don’t want it to end.

  She heads home just as it’s getting dark. I walk her to the door and hug her tightly as she prepares to leave.

  ‘We should do this again soon,’ I say into her hair. ‘Today’s been amazing.’

  ‘Well, you’ve still got to get started on baby shopping,’ she says. ‘Why don’t we go to Manchester soon and make a day of it?’

  I smile and feel tears well up in my eyes. ‘That would be brilliant!’

  A pair of headlights to my left almost blind me until the driver turns the engine off. A moment later, Scott steps out onto the street, carrying two huge pizza boxes. He smiles in my direction as he approaches the cottage. A swarm of butterflies release themselves into my stomach as he draws nearer. Our flirty texting from earlier pops into my mind and suddenly I can’t take my eyes off his arms. The ones that have held me tightly so many times and made me feel safe and wanted …

  Calm yourself down, Cleo!

  ‘Hi Nina,’ he says with his trademark grin. ‘Been taking care of Cleo today then?’

  It amuses me how he can be so flirty and almost sexual with me yet he plays the perfect boy-next-door with my mum. I can see her start to blush, although she hides it well.

  ‘Yes, we’ve been having a mother-daughter bonding day. Are you here to take over?’

  He looks at me; his dark eyes are glittering and a playful grin lights up his face. I can tell he’s thinking about our texts from earlier too.

  ‘Yeah,’ he says. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of her.’

  I’ve got no idea what that means, but if there’s pizza involved and the possibility of him holding me, I’m down for it.

  ‘Well I’ll leave you two to it,’ Mum says, raising her eyebrows at me in a knowing gesture. She heads off back towards her cottage, leaving Scott and I standing outside in the cold.

  ‘Let’s get inside,’ he says, his voice slightly huskier than usual. ‘It’s freezing out here.’

  We go inside, shutting the door behind us to keep the world out. Instead of heading through to the living room to devour our pizzas, we stand in the hall looking at one another. The only noise I can hear is the sound of our breath getting heavier by the second.

  ‘So …’ he says, putting the pizza boxes on the floor. ‘… You dare me, do you?’

  My head tilts to one side. ‘You’re a bit late to pick this up now, don’t you think?’

  He chuckles and shakes his head, putting his hands up in defeat. God, I love those hands. I’ve forgotten just how much until now.

  ‘Fair enough,’ he says. ‘I’ll back off. Now, what are we watching on Netflix?’

  A part of me wants to slap him for being such a smartarse, while the other part wants to pounce on him and kiss him. Our gazes lock and it’s clear what we’ve started here: a war of wills to see who’ll kiss who first.

  It’s a game I intend to win.

  Chapter Thirteen

  If there’s one thing I’ve learned about Scott Robinson in the time I’ve known him, it’s this: when it comes to games, he doesn’t play fair.

  As we pretend to watch some awful car chase film on Netflix, I feel his eyes flick across to me multiple times. I don’t have to look at him to know he’s giving me his signature sexy look. His lips will be slightly pouted, his eyebrows slightly raised and those eyes will be dark and sultry.

  And that’s exactly why I’m not returning his gaze.

  That look can get me to do just about anything and I’m not about to let him win this game. Well, I probably will but I won’t make it easy for him. Winning isn’t fun if it comes easy, is it?

  ‘So … how was work?’ I ask. ‘Did you put your clients through their paces
?’

  ‘Yup, I worked them really hard,’ he replies. ‘Had them doing burpees and all sorts. One of them even called me cruel. I can die a happy man now.’

  My brain conjures up an image of him telling his clients what to do. He can be really commanding when he wants to be and although I know he has a friendly, relaxed training style, I can’t resist picturing him being demanding.

  ‘Was Kayleigh in today?’ I ask. The name comes out in a slightly high-pitched voice, like I’m making fun of her.

  ‘Would it matter if she was?’

  Damn. He always knows the right questions to ask. I can play this one of two ways. I can either admit that the thought of them working out together makes me insanely jealous, or I can shrug it off and pretend to be casual.

  ‘Nope, it wouldn’t matter at all. It’s nothing to do with me who you train with,’ I reply, adjusting myself on the couch and pretending to be really interested in the film’s umpteenth car chase.

  ‘OK Cleo, I’ll pretend to believe you mean that. The answer’s no, by the way, she wasn’t in today. In fact, I won’t be training her anymore.’

  My head snaps round and I nearly send my pizza box flying. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘She’s moving to London in a few weeks to start a new job,’ he says with a shrug. ‘It’s no big deal.’

  Oh.

  ‘Well, that’s …’

  The next word that follows will be absolutely crucial. If I say something like great or fantastic or super-duper, I’ll look like the paranoid pregnant lady who can barely contain her joy that her ex’s beautiful client is moving away. On the other hand, if I say something like too bad or a shame, I’ll come across sarcastic and schadenfreude-esque.

  ‘… Interesting,’ is what I eventually opt for. I’m almost ashamed at the amount of thought I put into it.

  ‘Is it? She’s moving to be a department head at a really good school, that’s all. I know she made you a bit jealous though, so I guess it is interesting in a way.’

  I can hear the humour in his voice, but I’m not quite ready to admit how much the idea of him going out with her bothered me. I hate how relieved I feel that she won’t be around anymore, especially since nothing actually happened between them. She was just so jaw-droppingly stunning – with seemingly great taste in animal videos – that I couldn’t see any reason why Scott wouldn’t fall for her.

  ‘It’s a shame she’s moving away,’ I say, picking apart a slice of pizza. ‘I know you’ve been working hard to build up your business and get repeat business. And I wasn’t jealous, by the way. Just curious.’

  Scott edges closer to me and for a second, I think he’s going to pull me into him. Instead, he picks up a slice of my pizza.

  ‘Losing one client won’t bankrupt me. I’ve got a pretty solid stream of regulars now, so I’m not worried about my business going down the pan just yet. And you were jealous, Cleo. Just admit it, it won’t kill you.’

  I’m backed against a metaphorical wall now. He knows, I know he knows, and he knows I know that he knows. There’s no use in denying it anymore.

  ‘Fine,’ I admit, ‘I didn’t like the idea of you going out with her. Happy now?’

  ‘Ecstatic,’ he replies, not missing a beat.

  He looks at me with that signature look of his and goosebumps rise on my skin. I edge closer to him, letting his arms wrap themselves round my waist as I trace his jawline with a finger.

  ‘Hey,’ he says softly, his voice a sexy drawl. ‘I’ve missed you.’

  I’m about to lean in and kiss him – winning the game isn’t important to me anymore – when a loud noise that sounds like a balloon deflating stops me in my tracks.

  Oh bugger.

  That noise came from me.

  ‘Oh my god.’ I clap a hand over my mouth and back away from him. ‘I’m so sorry, I didn’t know what was going to happen!’

  Scott can’t reply because he’s bent over laughing at me. His face has gone the colour of a tomato and I’m fairly sure he can’t breathe.

  ‘It’s OK,’ he says when he manages to compose himself. ‘Lisa did say you might be a bit … gassy from time to time!’

  I whack him with a cushion then use it to hide behind. ‘Pregnancy is not as glamorous as they make it look in movies! Why can’t I be like Cameron bloody Diaz in What to Expect When You’re Expecting?’

  He slides across the couch to me and gently prises the cushion away from me. ‘Because you’re Cleo bloody Jones, that’s why. Anyway, didn’t Cameron Diaz’s character throw up on national television?’

  I give him my best ‘I’m judging you right now’ look. ‘You know that movie way too well, my friend. And yeah, she did throw up on national TV, but she also got to marry Will from Glee so it all balances out in the end.’

  Scott strokes my hair and lets me lean into him. ‘Well, I can’t help you marry Will from Glee but I can give you a cuddle if that helps?’

  I think about seizing the moment and kissing him like I planned, but after my bum’s unexpected musical interlude, I figure the moment’s probably gone. So I snuggle into Scott’s shoulder and watch the rest of the film until I feel sleep begin to overtake me.

  *

  I wake up a little while later, tucked up in bed with a glass of water on my bedside table. I tear up when I see it; although it’s only a little gesture, it means a lot to me. Either that or my pregnancy hormones are playing up again. I take a stretch and climb out of bed to see where Scott’s got to. He’s probably gone home, but I decide to check anyway in case he hasn’t.

  I find him on the couch looking at one of the twelve-week scan pictures. He turns around when he hears me approach and looks a little embarrassed.

  ‘You OK?’ I ask with a smile.

  He nods and looks back at the scan photo. ‘Yeah, I was just … looking at this. It could’ve all been over last night, Cleo. I didn’t let myself think about it at the time because I wanted to be there for you, but … Man, it really hit me a few minutes ago.’

  I join him on the couch and place his hands on my bump. ‘It’s not over though. The baby and I are absolutely fine and there’s nothing to worry about. We’ve got that other scan tomorrow to see where the bleeding came from, but I haven’t had any symptoms today. No bleeding, no cramps, nothing. I know it was scary, but I think we’re out of the woods.’

  He nods and gives an uneasy smile. ‘I know, it’s just … Like you said last night, it made me realise how much I want the baby. I mean, we were kind of thrust into this pregnancy with no warning and at a really bad time, but I really can’t wait to be a dad now. I wasn’t ready before, but I am now.’

  ‘You’ll be a great dad,’ I reply.

  ‘I hope so.’ He pauses for a second and puts the scan photo in his jeans pocket. ‘I was thinking, how about my mum goes baby shopping with you and your mum? She’d absolutely love to see you, plus she’s dying to buy stuff for the baby.’

  The prospect of spending a whole day with the terrifying force of nature that is Mrs Robinson sends a note of terror running through me, but I style it out with a smile.

  ‘Sure! That sounds great,’ I reply. ‘Do you think we should wait until after the twenty-week scan? We could find out the sex and then we’ll know what to buy.’

  If Scott knows I’m playing for time, he doesn’t show it. ‘Nah, you can just buy a load of neutral stuff and when we find out the sex, we can have another shopping trip. I’d better head off anyway. The scan’s at eleven tomorrow, right? I’ve moved some clients around so I’m free to take you.’

  I nod and walk him to the door. ‘Thanks for the pizza and for putting me to bed. You even remembered the glass of water.’

  Scott shrugs. ‘You don’t forget the important things. Goodnight, Cleo.’

  He wraps me in a tight hug, but something feels different when he lets go. The energy between us is different yet familiar. Both of us know what’s about to happen and there’s a sense of anticipation in the seconds leading up t
o it.

  The events of the next few seconds happen in quick succession, yet seem to be in slow motion too. Scott and I reach for each other, our hands exploring everywhere as we reacquaint ourselves with one another. Our lips crash together with a frenzied heat, both of us desperate to indulge our craving for the other. His fingers trace my skin with a delicacy that makes me shiver.

  ‘Cleo …’ he murmurs against my lips.

  I wind my arms round his neck and we press our foreheads together.

  ‘I can stay if you want me to?’ he offers, gathering me to his chest. I feel him breathe me in and tighten his grip on me as his head rests on my shoulder.

  ‘We’ve got the scan tomorrow anyway,’ I reply. ‘It’d be silly for you to go back to your flat when you’ll be coming here again in a few hours.’

  His flat isn’t a million miles away from here, but the urge to feel him close to me is stronger than it’s ever been.

  ‘Exactly,’ he says. ‘If you think about it, we’re doing our bit for the environment. Less petrol being used and all that.’

  It’s the flimsiest excuse for staying over that I’ve ever heard, but I decide not to question it. Instead, I smile and kiss him again.

  Within minutes, we’re lying in bed together, our limbs tangled in one another. Scott revels in his role of big spoon, his strong arms wrapped around my waist and one leg hooked over mine. The even rise and fall of his chest comforts me and his soft breath tickles my neck. As I feel myself drift off to sleep, it feels like this is how things are meant to be.

  I know that at some point, Scott and I are going to have to get our shit together and figure out what we’re doing with each other. We can’t keep kissing each other whenever we like (even if he is a fantastic kisser). For the baby’s sake, we need to make a decision one way or the other.

  For now though, it’s time to sleep.

  *

  The next day at the scan, we get the news we’ve been longing for. The baby is absolutely fine and there’s nothing to worry about.

  ‘It was cervical bleeding from the looks of things, which is nothing to worry about,’ Lisa says with a smile, handing me some tissue paper to wipe my belly with. ‘It’s actually more common than you might think, although it’s understandably scary. Hopefully we won’t see you back here for another week or so! Did we book in your sixteen-week appointment?’