by Lynsey James
Gladys’s facial expression doesn’t waver even a fraction as she moves the transducer over my stomach.
Scott steps forward and takes my hand in his. ‘Are you sure you don’t want to find out now? The party’s not until this afternoon and that’s a long time to wait. Emma doesn’t have to know.’
I chuckle and shake my head. ‘I’ve waited ten weeks for this; I can wait a few more hours. Plus Emma’s putting loads of effort into this party and I don’t want to spoil it for her. Wait a minute …’ I say, trailing off with a grin. ‘Are you a little bit excited to find out if it’s a boy or girl? I thought it didn’t matter to you.’
He looks down and blushes. ‘OK, you got me. I’m a bit curious to find out what we’re having. I don’t mind if it’s a boy or girl, just as long as …’ He trails off and looks away from me for a moment, debating with himself. ‘… As long as they’re like you.’
I feel a lump rise in my throat and squeeze his hand. ‘You’ve set my pregnancy hormones off now!’ I chuckle, reaching up with my free hand to wipe away some tears.
Scott runs his thumb over my cheek, leaving it there a little longer than he should. He swallows hard and diverts his attention to the monitor.
‘Wow,’ he says. ‘Look at the baby, Cleo.’
I take in the sketchy figure in front of me and feel a rush of love. The outline is much clearer than before, with the hands, feet and torso more defined than last time. The head is much bigger too …
‘God,’ I say with a gulp. ‘The baby’s a lot bigger than at the twelve-week scan, isn’t it? H-how am I supposed to give birth to a baby that big, Scott?’
He chuckles, but Gladys decides this is the perfect moment to chime in.
‘If you think the baby’s big just now, wait until you get to term. You’ll know all about it then. My advice, take all the pain relief you can get.’
I feel a cold sweat wash over me. ‘I … I … I mean I knew I was going to have to give birth, but … Wow. H-how does the baby get out of, well, there? There can’t be enough room surely?’
I’m aware I’m babbling, but I can’t stop myself. The reality of actually having to give birth to a full-sized baby has hit me like a train.
Gladys conducts her checks, looking at the bones, brain, heart, kidneys and spinal cord in detail. After telling us there’s nothing to be concerned about, she prints off some scan photos for us and puts the gender in a sealed envelope, ready for our party.
‘Now might be a good time to sign up for antenatal classes,’ she suggests as we get ready to leave. ‘You’ll want to be as prepared for the birth as possible. Some mums say you forget the pain. They’re all liars.’
Somehow, I’d rather Phoebe Buffay’s scary painting was the one handing out birthing advice.
*
Now that I’ve been suitably terrified by Scary Gladys, the four of us make our way back to Silverdale for the gender reveal party. Emma’s organised the food and just needs the all-important envelope so she can order pink or blue balloons.
I stare at the envelope, wondering if I should open it or not. The fact my best friend will know before me is driving me crazy, even though it’s for the best of reasons.
‘It wouldn’t hurt to take a peek inside, would it?’ I ask my fellow passengers. ‘I do a really good shocked face; she’d never know the difference.’
Mum snatches it from me and puts it into her bag. ‘You’ll do no such thing, Cleopatra! That girl’s put a lot of effort into organising this party for you. Don’t let all that go to waste by spoiling the big moment.’
I nod, even if the suspense is killing me. I get my phone out and give Zara a quick text to let her know the scan went OK, not sure if I should expect to hear back or not. She’s been pretty absent throughout my pregnancy, despite saying she was happy for me. I text Emma to let her know we’ll be back soon to give her the envelope and to meet us at my cottage. As I lean my head against the window and close my eyes to take a nap, I feel a strange sensation in my stomach. It feels like butterflies but a lot stronger.
‘Oh my god!’ I yelp, putting my hands on my bump.
Scott pulls over at the side of the road and unclips his seatbelt. ‘What is it? What’s wrong? Is it the baby?’
‘Kind of,’ I say, my voice shaking. ‘They just kicked for the first time! Here, feel.’
I grab his hand and put it on my bump. Mum and Marilyn join in moments later and there’s a weighty silence as we wait to feel another kick. Cars pass us and honk their horns, but we don’t pay any attention to them.
After what seems like an eternity, it happens again.
‘There it is!’ Scott exclaims. ‘This baby’s going to play for Liverpool one day.’
Both Mum and Marilyn tear up as they pull their hands away. They even hug for a brief moment before pulling away and pretending it never happened.
‘Our baby,’ I whisper, looking at Scott.
He smiles at me, keeping his hands on my bump. For the tiniest second, I think I see a spark of something in his eyes. Maybe it’s the old magic we used to share. Maybe that never truly went away. Or perhaps he’s just excited to feel the baby kick for the first time.
After clearing his throat and collecting himself, he starts the car back up again. I replay the moment he wiped my tears away at the scan and feel my heart wrench.
What on earth is going on between us?
*
I deliver the envelope containing the baby’s gender to Emma the second I arrive back in Silverdale. She does a little squeal of excitement and jumps up and down.
‘Oh my god, I can’t wait to see what this says!’ she says, throwing her arms around me. ‘This is going to be the best gender reveal party ever, I promise.’
‘You know you’re the best friend in the world, right?’ I say with a smile. ‘Hey, have you heard from Zara recently? I texted her to let her know the scan went OK, but I haven’t heard back from her.’
She rolls her eyes. ‘She’s too busy having the romance of the century with Craig, I think. Won’t be long until it goes south again though; it always does. She said she’s coming to the party though.’
I raise an eyebrow and shake my head. ‘I’ll believe it when I see it. I’ve hardly heard from her since she found out I was pregnant.’
‘Don’t worry about her,’ Emma insists. ‘Go home and get ready for the gender reveal party. It’s going to be amazing. I think you’ll really appreciate the entertainment.’
An hour or so later, it’s time for the party. Scott, our mums and I make our way over to Emma’s house, Honeysuckle Cottage – my dad and Donald are meeting us there. Two bunches of white balloons sit outside her door, just in case anyone was in any doubt about where the party is.
‘OK,’ I say as we walk up the garden path to the front door. ‘Last minute predictions – is baby Robinson a boy or girl? I know I asked in the car, but we’re about to find out for real.’
Mum: Girl.
Marilyn: Boy, without a doubt.
Scott: Girl.
Me: Boy.
I knock on the door, feeling a heavy sense of anticipation. I can’t wait to find out what I’m having; it’ll just add to the excitement I’m already feeling about meeting the baby.
Emma throws the door open and envelopes me in a hug. ‘You’re here! Now we can get the party started! Come on inside, everyone’s here.’
I follow her through to the living room and find all my closest friends there, including people from my Carb Counters group. There’s also a surprise addition to the party: Amanda. No sign of Zara though.
‘Oh my god, thank you so much for coming everyone! Are you all ready to find out if baby Robinson is a boy or girl?’
A huge ‘yes’ erupts from the crowd, followed by whoops and cheers. Emma leads Scott and I over to a huge white box that’s sitting on her coffee table. She looks fit to burst with excitement.
‘Before we open the box …’ she says, ‘… I’d like to say something. Cleo, you’ve
always been the strongest, most amazing woman I’ve ever known and I’m ridiculously proud and lucky to call you my best friend. It’s safe to say we were both shocked when we found out you were pregnant – although probably not quite as shocked as Scott!’
The gathered crowd chuckles and I see two pops of colour appear in his cheeks.
‘You two are going to be absolutely brilliant parents,’ Emma continues. ‘This baby is the luckiest baby in the world. And I’m going to be the best auntie I can possibly be. I’ll buy them toys, try not to give them too many sweets and help them out when they need it. Oh, and I’ll teach them all my worldly wisdom, which includes how to get from Manchester to London for less than twenty quid!’
More laughter follows and I feel a burst of pride for my best friend. She really is amazing. I reach over, hug her and whisper ‘you’re the best’.
‘Let’s find out, shall we?’ I say, putting my hand on the box lid.
Scott puts his hand on the opposite side and we lift it off together. A fleet of pink balloons comes floating out of the box, making their way towards the ceiling.
Pink.
We’re having a girl.
Chapter Eighteen
Scott and I are going to have a daughter.
I’m completely overcome with happiness. I clap my hands to my mouth after a squeal of joy escapes.
‘We’re having a girl,’ Scott says, wrapping his arms around me. ‘A little mini-you.’
I let out a shaky chuckle. ‘Is that a good thing? I don’t think the world could cope with two Cleo Joneses!’
He squeezes me and ruffles my hair. ‘Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re not that bad! I guess this means we should start discussing names.’
Before I get the chance to answer, our parents swarm on us to offer their congratulations. Mum and Marilyn are teary-eyed messes, while the dads clap Scott on the back and murmur congratulations.
‘A little girl,’ Mum weeps. ‘How exciting!’
‘I always wanted a daughter,’ Marilyn admits, throwing her arms round me.
‘Cheers Mum,’ Scott replies with a chuckle. ‘Good to know!’
She runs over to him and assures him she loves him with all her heart, sobbing into his shirt as she does so.
‘Congratulations Cleo.’
My head turns the second I hear Amanda’s voice. I smile and she returns it.
‘Thanks,’ I say. ‘I’m really excited. Have you found out what you’re having?’
‘Not yet,’ she admits, folding her arms across her bump. ‘I think I might keep it as a surprise actually.’
‘What does Steve think you’re having?’ I ask. ‘He must be excited to find out.’
A curious expression crosses her face, but she manages to check it within seconds. ‘Oh yeah, of course he is! He can’t wait to be a dad.’
There’s something she’s not telling me, but I can’t put my finger on what it is. I look into her eyes, but she’s giving nothing away.
‘I’m looking forward to meeting Steve actually,’ I say with a smile. ‘How are you two getting on anyway? Still as happy as ever?’
Her shoulders tense and her smile falls from her face. ‘I’m perfectly happy, thank you very much. Everything’s going great between us. What about you and Scott?’
I look round at him as he chats away to my mum and dad, feeling that all-too-familiar ache in my heart.
‘We’re not together anymore,’ I reply. ‘We’ve decided to just stay friends. It’s a lot better that way.’
‘That’s not how it looked when you were opening the balloon box together,’ Amanda counters. ‘You still looked like you were crazy about each other to me.’
I feel my cheeks heat up and I stammer out a response. ‘Y-you’ve got it wrong! We’ll always care about each other, but as far as getting back together goes, it’s not going to happen. Do you … do you really think he still loves me?’
She nods. ‘Cleo, he’s always loved you. And he always will, if you let him.’
Could she be right? Could Scott, the one who suggested we just stay friends in the first place, really still love me?
Gosh, I hope so.
*
About an hour into the party, there’s a knock at the door.
‘Ooh, who could that be?’ Emma says, faking ignorance as she goes to let the person in. ‘Let’s see, shall we?’
Moments later, the entire house fills with pounding R&B music as the ‘entertainment’ makes his way into the living room. My jaw drops when I see a muscular man dressed in nothing but a pair of tight leather trousers and a cowboy hat start grinding his hips and winking at the gathered crowd. His thighs look like they could crack walnuts and his rippling six-pack reminds me of an Action Man doll I had as a kid. Behind him, I see Emma looking utterly mortified. I raise my hands in a what the hell is this gesture and she shakes her head.
I find the source of the music – a mobile phone placed on one of the side tables – and shut it off as quickly as I can.
‘Excuse me,’ I say, not wanting to offend our new guest. ‘But who are you?’
‘Name’s Lesley, but you can call me Mr Wiggles,’ he replies, extending a hand that I reluctantly shake.
‘OK, erm … Mr Wiggles, what are you doing here? This is a gender reveal party,’ I say. ‘My gender reveal party, in fact.’
‘Congratulations love! I take it you’re having a girl,’ he says, gesturing to the pink balloons.
‘Thank you, but … I think there’s been some mistake here. My friend here was in charge of the entertainment and … well, I don’t think an exotic dancer was really what any of us had in mind.’
Emma comes rushing to my side when she hears me mention her. ‘I thought you were a magician! That’s what it says on your website. I didn’t know you were an exotic dancer!’
‘That’s one of my acts,’ Mr Wiggles explains. ‘I come in dressed in my cloak and top hat, then I show everyone my magic wand.’
This tips me over the edge and I burst into fits of uncontrollable giggles.
‘I, er, I’ll be going then,’ he says, picking up his phone and heading for the door.
‘I don’t suppose you have any talents that involve keeping your clothes on?’ Marilyn ventures, stepping forward to take charge like she always does.
‘Now you come to mention it, I do a bit of singing,’ Mr Wiggles replies.
*
For the remainder of the party, Lesley – or Mr Wiggles – keeps us all thoroughly entertained by belting out soul classics like My Girl and Sitting on the Dock of the Bay. We all end up dancing for hours thanks to him. He even does a little stand-up comedy that leaves everybody in stitches.
‘Thank you for an amazing party,’ I say to Emma as I head for the door. ‘You’ll have to top this with the baby shower, you realise!’
She gives me two thumbs up. ‘Don’t you worry; I’ve already got my thinking cap on. Listen … I’m sorry Zara didn’t turn up. She told me she would; I don’t know what’s got into her recently.’
I shake my head. ‘Don’t worry about it; I had a great time and I’ll try and catch up with her before the next Carb Counters meeting.’
I thank Emma again, give everyone another round of hugs and head off into the night with Scott. We walk in companionable silence back to my cottage.
‘What a night,’ I say with a chuckle as I close the front door. ‘Mr Wiggles was a talented bloke, wasn’t he?’
‘He told me he’s going to audition for next year’s X Factor,’ Scott replies. ‘He’s been rejected three times and booed off Britain’s Got Talent, but after today he fancies having another go.’
We collapse onto the couch with contented sighs. The excitement of the day begins to catch up with me and I feel my eyes grow heavy.
‘I think I’m going to head to bed in a minute,’ I say. ‘I’m beat.’
Scott puts his hand on my bump just as I’m about to get up. ‘Sorry, I just wanted to see if I could feel her kick again
.’
Her.
It sounds so good to hear that.
‘What names do you like?’ I ask, making myself comfortable. Bed can wait a bit longer.
He screws his face up in thought for a moment. ‘I’m not sure really. What about Evie? That sounds nice, Evie Robinson.’
I nod slowly, rolling it around in my head. ‘That does sound nice. I’ve always liked flower names: Daisy, Rosie, Violet.’
‘Violet’s pretty,’ he replies with a smile. ‘How about we go really out there, you know like Princess Consuela Bananahammock on Friends?’
I burst out laughing. ‘Scott, as much as I love you, I’m not naming our daughter Princess Consuela Bananahammock!’
Oh, hell.
I said it.
I told him I love him.
He looks startled for a moment and doesn’t react. His hand stays where it is on my bump as his mouth moves without making a sound.
‘Cleo …’
‘Forget I said anything,’ I babble. ‘It just came out, that’s all. I know we’re just friends who are having a baby together. Like Ross and Rachel, actually! Except I’m not hopping on a plane to Paris any time soon.’
Please stop, Cleo. You’re making this way worse than it needs to be.
Scott’s mouth opens and closes a couple of times before he settles on a response. ‘Exactly. We talked about this and we agreed it was for the best, didn’t we?’
‘Yeah, and it is.’ I don’t mean a word of that, but it’s better that he thinks I do. ‘We’re doing the right thing.’ I open my mouth wide and let out a very exaggerated yawn. ‘I’d better get off to bed. Too much excitement for one day.’
I haul my pregnant ass off the couch and make my way towards the stairs. Scott’s eyes burn into me as I start to climb them.
‘Cleo!’ he shouts, coming into the hall.
I turn back and come down a few steps. Is this it, I wonder? Is this the ‘I got off the plane’ moment I’ve been waiting for?
‘Yes?’ I say, willing him to say the words I’ve been longing to hear.