A Winter's Wish Come True

by Lynsey James

  ‘It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,’ she says, wiping her eyes with her free hand. She fishes out her car keys and unlocks the door.

  ‘Look, I know today was a bit overwhelming and Wilma was pretty full-on,’ I say, putting my hand on the door to stop her pulling it shut. ‘But you don’t have to be alone in this. I know Adam’s an absolute shit and Steve’s not around either, but I can help you if you let me.’

  Amanda looks at me for a moment, more tears threatening to spill down her face.

  ‘You can’t help me with this,’ she says, her voice trembling. ‘Nobody can. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to the hospital because I think there’s something wrong with my baby.’

  *

  Scott and I manage to beat Amanda to the hospital. We’re waiting outside for her just as she pulls her car into the car park. When she sees us, her eyes widen.

  ‘What the hell are you two doing here?’ she asks, her jaw almost on the floor.

  ‘Did you really think we were going to let you come here alone?’ I reply. ‘We’ve been here so often they’ll probably invite us to the staff Christmas party!’

  She sighs and lets out a weak chuckle. ‘Thank you guys. I’m really scared. I’ve been having some cramps and spotting, and I don’t think the baby’s kicked today.’

  I put an arm round her and lead her inside. ‘I had some cramping not long ago; it turned out to be Braxton-Hicks contractions and everything was fine.’

  She nods, but I can tell how terrified she is. I’ve been there myself and can conjure up the feeling easily. I put a protective hand over my bump, hoping nothing happens to my little girl while we’ll here.

  The receptionist’s smile falls away when she sees me. ‘Back again, are we?’

  ‘Not for me this time,’ I reply. ‘My friend’s in the third trimester of her pregnancy and she’s been having some cramps and spotting.’

  ‘Sit down and I’ll get a doctor to come and see you,’ the receptionist says.

  ‘So you’ve been a pretty regular attender,’ Amanda chuckles as we take a seat.

  ‘You could say that,’ I reply. ‘I had a threatened miscarriage when I was around fourteen weeks and I was in here recently thinking I was going into labour! If they did loyalty cards, I’m pretty sure I’d qualify for one.’

  Amanda’s silent for a moment as she stares around her. As I watch her, I can appreciate how Scott must’ve felt when we were here. He did his best to try and keep everything together while I was falling apart.

  ‘I was really excited when I found out I was pregnant,’ she admits, breaking the silence. ‘I thought Adam would stick by me and we’d be a family together. Then everything went wrong. I thought about not going ahead with the pregnancy, you know. Didn’t think I could be a mum by myself, but … When I saw that twelve-week scan, Cleo, I just fell in love. It just made everything so much more real, you know? God, if anything happens to the baby I don’t know what I’ll do.’

  I feel a lump rise in my throat, but take a deep breath to keep it at bay. ‘Amanda, there could be any number of reasons why you’re having cramps and spotting. It could be an infection or something else they can treat really easily.’

  She lets out an empty chuckle and bites her lip. ‘This is my punishment. I deserve this for what I put Steve through. If I hadn’t had that stupid affair with Adam bloody Hartwell, everything would be OK!’

  Scott gets up from where he’s sitting and crouches down at her feet. ‘Listen … I know how scared you are right now. Cleo and I have both been here and it’s terrifying to think that something’s going to happen to your baby. I can’t promise you that everything will be absolutely fine, but the doctors here are amazing and they’ll do everything they can for you. And whatever happens, you won’t be alone.’

  She smiles. ‘Thanks Scott, I really appreciate that.’

  As we wait for the doctor to arrive, I can’t help but feel scared myself. I take a look at all the other people waiting to be seen and feel my nerves begin to fray.

  ‘It feels like tempting fate being here,’ I whisper to Scott. ‘Like something’s about to happen to our baby.’

  He shakes his head and gives me a hug. ‘Nothing’s going to happen, don’t worry. Since it looks like we might be waiting for a while, why don’t we have a chat about baby names again?’

  I groan. ‘Let’s not get into that just now, eh? It’ll only end in yet another argument because you don’t like anything from this century.’

  ‘Have you guys still not agreed on one?’ Amanda asks with a smile.

  I shake my head. ‘We can’t seem to find one we both like, except Violet of course. I want to have a shortlist before she’s here though, in case she doesn’t suit Violet.’

  ‘Well, don’t call her Amanda, whatever you do! My name hasn’t brought me much good luck in the past.’ She chuckles and tucks a lock of blonde hair behind her ear. ‘I’m not sure what to call this little man either, to be honest. Definitely won’t be Adam after his dad though.’

  ‘Have you heard any more about him going for sole custody?’ Scott asks.

  My jaw drops and I swat his arm. ‘Don’t bring that up right now, for God’s sake!’

  ‘It’s OK,’ Amanda replies. ‘Nah, I haven’t. I think it was just an empty threat because he was angry. Adam wouldn’t be able to handle bringing up a kid, and I think he’s probably realised that by now.’

  Doubt flashes across her face, but she wipes it away in an instant. I can tell she’s trying to keep her mask in place, to hide how terrified she really is.

  ‘What names do you like?’ I ask, hoping to bring the conversation back to a lighter topic. ‘You must have some you think are nice.’

  ‘I like Evan,’ she replies. ‘And Carter. Carter Best sounds a bit like a law firm though, doesn’t it?’

  I shake my head. ‘No, I think it sounds nice! Evan Best is nice as well. Adam doesn’t deserve to have his surname in the mix after the way he’s treated you.’

  Some heavy footsteps followed by raised voices attract our attention. I look up to see a familiar figure waving his arms and arguing with the receptionist.

  ‘Oh my god,’ Amanda murmurs. ‘Adam’s here.’

  ‘How did he know you were at the hospital?’ Scott asks, clenching his fists in preparation for what could be about to happen.

  ‘I … I phoned him from the car,’ she admits, throwing her head into her hands. ‘I was scared and I didn’t know what to do! I didn’t think he’d actually turn up here.’

  ‘Shall I tell him to get lost?’ Scott offers.

  She shakes her head, rises from her seat and smoothes her navy maternity dress down. ‘No, I called him so I’ll deal with him.’

  Adam comes bounding over after he finishes arguing with the receptionist. I feel a little vindicated to see that he looks just as scared as Amanda does. The anger and bravado seeps away as he’s confronted with the mother of his child.

  ‘Hi,’ he says with an awkward little wave. ‘A-are you OK?’

  ‘I’ve been better.’ Her voice is as crisp and chilly as the weather outside. ‘I didn’t think you’d come.’

  A little bit of the bravado comes back, and he shrugs. ‘Yeah, well it’s my baby and everything isn’t it? I didn’t want you to be by yourself.’

  ‘You didn’t seem to mind that I was by myself when you threw me out onto the street!’ Amanda frowns and sighs. ‘You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to, Adam. If you’re here to prove a point or something, just go.’

  His gaze falls to the floor and I feel a little spark f joy to see him hanging his head in shame.

  ‘I’m not here to prove a point, Amanda. When I got your message, I could hear how scared you sounded and, well, I wanted to be here. I know there’s probably no chance we could try again, but whether we like it or not, we’re going to have a child together. And we should probably find a way to get along with each other. I’m sorry for how things ended between us, I was absolutel
y horrible to you. You didn’t deserve that.’

  Her face is still contorted with rage as she looks at him. ‘What about all the threats you made? You said you were going to take our son away from me!’

  Something changes in Adam’s expression. It’s softer now, and I’d even go so far as to say he’s shocked. ‘W-we’re having a boy? You didn’t tell me.’

  I feel a pang of déjà vu as I watch them try to work each other out. It wasn’t so long ago that Scott and I were in the same position. As I take a sideways glance at him, I can tell he’s thinking the same thing.

  ‘Do you think they’ll get there?’ I ask, careful not to let them hear me.

  ‘As a couple, probably not,’ he replies. ‘But as parents, I don’t see why not.’

  *

  Everything turns out to be fine with Amanda’s baby. After a scan and examination, it’s found she has an infection that can be easily treated with a course of antibiotics.

  ‘Thanks for being here with me,’ she says to Scott and me as we walk across the car park. ‘I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.’

  I open my arms to hug her. ‘You’d have done the same thing for me. Let’s hope the last few weeks go smoothly for us eh? Are you off home now?’

  She nods. ‘The midwife says I need to get plenty of rest, so I’m going to try and take it easy. I’ve been trying to get the house sorted and the nursery decorated, it’s no wonder I’ve run myself down really.’

  I look over her shoulder to see Adam standing outside the hospital, hands dug deep into his pockets and shifting from foot to foot.

  ‘And what about Adam?’ I ask, pointing to where he’s standing. ‘What’s he going to do now?’

  She turns round to look at him and heaves a sigh. ‘I … I don’t know. He’s apologised over and over again for everything, but … I don’t know if I could ever trust him again. It wasn’t like he just freaked out at the idea of becoming a dad. He threw me out with nowhere to go.’

  I watch them look at each other, and exchange a knowing grin with Scott. ‘Sometimes you just need to give each other a chance.’

  I remember Natalie saying the same thing to me when Marilyn was in the hospital, and her less-than-convincing promise that she wouldn’t tell Scott she still loved him. A note of panic runs through me, but I bat it away. We haven’t heard from her in over a month, so there’s no chance she’s going to declare her feelings now.

  Is there?

  As I watch Adam and Amanda approach each other with caution, I wonder if my own happily-ever-after is hanging by a thread. Natalie could come back at any time, like my very own Ghost of Christmas Past.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Before we know it, we’re in December. The more pregnant I become, the more determined I am to get everything organised. Mum calls it ‘nesting’, Dad terms it ‘a pain in the arse’, while Scott decides to sit on the fence for his own safety.

  ‘Are you sure the kitchen really needs cleaned again?’ he asks as I scrub the cupboard under the sink for the fourth time in a week.

  ‘Yes, I’m sure. You can grab a sponge and help me if you want?’ I reply as sweat drips down my face. There’s something intensely satisfying about cleaning, even if I don’t actually have to.

  ‘I forgot to tell you,’ he says as he watches me put every ounce of elbow grease I have into scrubbing. ‘Natalie’s Christmas plans fell through, so she asked if she can come to Silverdale. What do you think?’

  My cleaning mission grinds to a halt and I almost knock over the bucket of soapy water at my feet. Every fibre of me screams at me to say no, to make up some excuse about why she absolutely can’t join us for Christmas.

  It seems my brain has other ideas though.

  ‘Yeah that sounds great,’ I say through gritted teeth.

  ‘Awesome, I’ll let her know. I think this is going to be the best Christmas ever,’ says Scott.

  It’ll definitely rival the Eastenders Christmas special for drama, that’s for sure, I say to myself.

  *

  I’ve always loved winter. A lot of girls my age enjoy summer because it gives them an excuse to wear pretty dresses and shorts while they go out to enjoy the sun with their friends. However, autumn and winter give me the chance to do the exact opposite. Although I’ve left my weight issues behind me, I’m still very much a comfy jersey and leggings sort of girl.

  Now that I’m heavily pregnant, I’m embracing the cold weather even more. Today, I’ve dragged Emma out Christmas shopping with me. She’s a last-minute shopper and it’s not unusual to find her buzzing around the shops on Christmas Eve picking up bits and pieces she’s forgotten on previous trips.

  ‘There’s still ages until Christmas,’ she says as we head round a huge department store. ‘We could do our shopping another day. How about we head to a nice coffee shop and grab one of their Christmas lattes?’

  I chuckle, although her offer’s tempting. My ankles are more swollen than ever, and the thought of trailing round more shops fills me with dread.

  ‘You’ll thank me when you don’t have to do any of your last-minute Christmas Eve shopping. Remember that year you were too late and ended up giving everyone stuff from the all-night garage?’

  Emma cringes and squirms with discomfort. ‘Ugh, don’t remind me! All right, we’ll do it your way this year. I can’t really argue with you when you’re thirty weeks pregnant, can I?’

  I shake my head, quite liking having a trump card to play in a variety of situations. ‘How about we go and have a break? There’s a café in here somewhere.’

  ‘That’s the best thing I’ve heard you say all day,’ my best friend replies with a grin.

  We make our way to the department store’s café, which is slammed with customers. Luckily, Emma spots a table becoming available and grabs it just in the nick of time. I waddle across and collapse onto a chair with a deep sigh.

  ‘Christmas shopping doesn’t really go well with being seven months pregnant,’ I say with a chuckle. ‘At least we haven’t had any hospital dashes today though!’

  Emma taps the wooden tabletop and winks. ‘Let’s not tempt fate, eh? Just think, this time next year you’ll have, what, a ten-month old?’

  My heart races at the thought of spending next Christmas with my little girl. ‘Yeah, she won’t be quite old enough to know about Santa yet, but she’ll be able to enjoy the presents.’

  A picture pops into my head: Scott and I with our baby, opening presents on Christmas morning as snow falls outside. She claps happily as we help her open her presents and her eyes light up as she takes in her new toys.

  Very different from this Christmas, which we’ll be sharing with Scott’s stunningly beautiful ex …

  ‘Earth to Cleo!’ Emma chuckles, waving a hand in front of my face. ‘You looked like you were half a world away.’

  ‘I was just … thinking about what Christmas with the baby will be like next year,’ I admit.‘It’ll be amazing. We’re having Natalie over this year; her Christmas plans fell through, according to Scott.’

  ‘You don’t sound too happy,’ Emma says with a grimace. ‘I thought everything was OK with you two. You’ve always said how nice she is.’

  I sigh and run a hand through my hair. ‘She’s lovely, and I can’t take that away from her. It’s just … You know what, never mind. It’s not worth mentioning.’

  ‘What isn’t worth mentioning?’

  Damn. I’ve piqued her interest now, so I’ll have to tell her. Oh well, I say to myself, here goes nothing.

  ‘When Marilyn was in the hospital after her car accident, Natalie showed up to see her. Donald called her and told her what was happening, so she came to the hospital. Anyway, when Scott and Donald went in to see her after her operation, it was just Natalie and me out in the waiting room. She … she told me she’s still in love with Scott.’ Saying it out loud makes my insides twist into knots. ‘So I’m not really thrilled at the idea of spending Christmas with her in case she de
cides to tell him.’

  Emma raises her eyebrows and sinks back into her chair. ‘Wow. It must’ve taken some guts for her to admit that.’

  I scoff. ‘Not really the point, Emma! I mean, yeah it must’ve taken a lot for her to tell me, but I’m terrified she’s going to tell Scott and he’s going to realise he wants to go back to her.’

  Emma waves a hand and snorts. ‘That won’t happen, for God’s sake! She could lay herself out on his bed in some lacy underwear and he wouldn’t take any notice of her. He’s in love with you, remember?’

  I nod, knowing my best friend is right once again. ‘I know that, it’s just … Well, he’s always kind of had unfinished business with Natalie, hasn’t he? I mean, it wasn’t his choice to break up with her. He’d have stayed with her if she’d let him, but she wanted to get help for her eating disorder. Then by the time she was ready for a relationship, he’d moved on with his life.’

  Emma reaches over and puts her hand on top of mine. ‘Exactly, he’d moved on. If he wanted to be with her, Cleo, he would be. I know you two have had a rough year, but you’ve got so much to look forward to. You’re having a baby in a couple of months, and things between you are great now. Honestly, you’ve got nothing to worry about.’

  I swallow hard and repeat that to myself over and over again. I have nothing to worry about. Natalie, the drop-dead gorgeous model with a sparkling personality, won’t take away my lovely, caring boyfriend.

  I hope.

  *

  When I get home, I’m in for a surprise. There are boxes in the hall, containing all manner of Christmas decorations and ornaments. I smile as I see all my Disney ones nestled amongst some chunky gold tinsel. If ever there was a sign that my favourite time of year is on its way, this is it.

  ‘Decided to get decorating underway early this year?’ I say with a chuckle as I slip my boots off. ‘And you say I’m obsessed with Christmas!’

  I pause as I put my boots next to Scott’s trainers. A pair of designer boots is nestled next to his and they definitely don’t belong to me. It takes my brain a second to work out who they belong to, but my heart sinks when I do.