Quest

by Shannah Jay

  'What?'

  QUEST Shannah Jay 89

  'Say the fifth verse. The one after our meeting.'

  She took a deep breath and recited quietly,

  Like tempered steel, those two shall learn,

  Through hardship, pain and woe.

  No ease, no peace, though they may yearn,

  Small respite from the foe.

  'It's coming true already! My Katia, shall we be strong enough to face such a future? Hardship, pain and woe?'

  'We must be.'

  'Then we can't let this death, which we both hate, overset our reason and imperil the Quest. Can we?'

  Her eyes were brimming with tears again, but she didn’t allow them to fall. 'No. No, we can’t, my Davred.' She sighed and leaned against him for comfort.

  'And who knows how many lives we've saved by killing such a man?' he said, thinking aloud.

  Katia jerked abruptly away from him. 'That's their reasoning! It justifies the killing. We must never do that.'

  'What would you say instead, then?'

  'I'd say - I'd say we lost the chance to save that man - his soul, his - whatever your people cal it. There was an evil in him that I've seen occasionally before in Those of the Serpent. Herra can sense them because of it, you know.' She looked at him sternly. 'Say, rather, my Davred, that you saved me by a most abhorrent expedient, because I'm vital to the Quest. But even that sort of reasoning does little to heal the pain I feel at being responsible for someone's death.'

  'You aren't responsible; I am. And I'd kill him again without hesitation. I couldn't have left you in his power. The way he taunted you . . . ' He pulled her fiercely into his arms. 'You're my Katia! And twice in the last few minutes you've called me your Davred. Come to me, Katia! Let us become man and wife now.'

  'At such a moment?' Horror etched shrillness into her normally soft voice. 'It would ruin our love.'

  'It would make us whole again.'

  'I can't. I must not.'

  He jerked away from her and went over to stand at the front of the cave. As he turned to gaze out at the hillside, the shadow of a cloud crept towards the cave. Katia shivered. Davred stood motionless, staring blindly at the rocky slope.

  Gradual y, the conviction grew in him that this was a special moment. The sensation of knowing crawled up his spine and made his temples tingle. Unconsciously, he straightened up and threw back his head. ' The God whispers within me,' he said, and even his voice was different. Power was lambent within him.

  A cold breeze whirled round the cavern. Katia stared in amazement at the rigid figure silhouetted against the returning brightness outside.

  Davred raised his hands in a salute to some invisible presence. ' The God speaks through me.'

  Katia filed what was happening into prime memory, every nuance of every sound. She would record this later in the Archives. The first prophecy of the Lord Davred. She was filled with awe.

  Slowly Davred turned to face Katia. His face seemed slightly luminous, although it should have been shadowed, since his back was now towards the light. 'I know the rightness of what I’m saying. I speak the words of the God of our Quest.'

  She bowed her head. 'I hear you, Lord Davred.'

  QUEST Shannah Jay 90

  'My Katia, now, in this cave, we must begin our life together. We shall be as one, body and soul, linked in the service of our God. This is our time. Go and wash your body! From this day shall our first daughter spring – a life to replace the life we took.' His voice echoed back from the fractured surface of the rocky walls. His eyes glowed with certainty.

  Katia recognised the look in his eyes. It was the same as that in Herra's whenever she prophesied. The God in him had indeed spoken. She bowed her head as his certainty washed over her and began to cleanse her of guilt. A life created for a life taken. It was right.

  He led her to the back of the cave and helped her to remove her robe. With gentle hands and almost ritual gestures, he washed her bruised body. Her pulse began to beat more rapidly and her breathing quickened to match his. When he had finished, she helped him to remove the blue suit and wash his body in turn. His limbs gleamed palely in the darkness.

  When they were ready, they lay down on her robe beside the spring, and she closed her eyes with a sigh, for she too was now caught up in the hands of the fate they were to share. This was their time for union. It wasn’t passion, but destiny, which drew them together this time. The power of the God was within them. But from their union, passion grew. At Davred's touch a fire began to burn in her body and a trembling made her cling to him. His kisses drowned her in such sweetness that she began to forget the evil of the day.

  At the front of the cave, Herra smiled slightly in her sleep, as if she could sense that things were happening as they should.

  * * *

  Soo had kept watch on Davred every moment she could, though Robler had decreed that she and Mak were not to be trusted alone with that duty.

  'Is that our Davred, our cold logical Davred, who has always made it quite clear that he isn't interested in even temporary pairings?' Soo stared at the tiny com-screen area in her quarters, wishing the visual radius of the tracer Herra carried allowed her to see what was happening at the back of the cave, instead of broadcasting only the voices of Davred and Katia. 'He doesn't even sound like the same person!' she said. 'I know it's his voice, but . . . ' She couldn’t put the difference into words.

  'He doesn't look the same, either,' said Mak. 'He’s always seemed - I don't know, a trifle colourless. Special only in his intellect. Pleasant, but detached. Now he's vibrant with life. And if that prophecy about a daughter comes true, then we'll have further proof of the powers of the Sisterhood to send to Confex.'

  'Robler will call it coincidence. Mak, I'm glad we're not able to record what they're doing. It would be wrong. It would spoil the beauty of the moment.'

  Soo took Mak's hand and began playing with his fingers, wondering if he would ever suggest that they become permanent partners. It seemed to her now that the two of them had wasted several years together on the satellite.

  Davred had not been the only cool and logical person in the group. Mak had been notorious for his lack of emotion, and Soo herself had been so engrossed in her work that she had kept her colleagues at arm's length. Now it seemed that they were all changing, coming to life. Was it the influence of this planet?

  'Robler spoils everything he touches nowadays,' said Mak. 'He's become sour and twisted, and he's spreading that sourness over us all. He's taken Davred's defection as a personal insult and I'm beginning to believe that he's become unsuited to manage this project. Has he found out yet that you've rigged up your own private com-board in here, Soo?'

  'No. He hasn't enough technical knowledge to check things like that. And the privacy laws forbid him to enter anyone's quarters, unless invited - except in emergencies. Even then, he couldn't get in here. I've made myself a very special lock, keyed by several things, impossible for anyone else to open, except by brute force.' She reached out suddenly and switched the transmission off. 'I think this is one time when Katia and Davred deserve total privacy, don't you?' She erased the last few moments of the recording.

  Mak put his arm round her. 'They aren't the only ones to deserve a little privacy.' He kissed her, and though his eyes were soft with affection, his expression was even more serious than usual. 'I'm becoming very fond of you, Soo. I've never been able to enter into even a short liaison lightly, but I think I'm coming to love you in a permanent way. I didn't QUEST Shannah Jay 91

  believe such love was possible, let alone desirable, but now . . . '

  She smiled at him. 'And I love you, Mak. Is love contagious, do you suppose? Does it come from the Sisterhood and their ways?' She spoke without thinking, but the idea made them both stop and wonder.

  He looked down at her, so fragile and tiny against his chest, and he frowned, his sandy brows a straight line across his pale freckled skin. 'I don't know. But then, love is something w
e in the Confederation don't know much about, isn't it? No one teaches our young about it. It's rarely mentioned at all. Only sex is taught. Love is something I've never experienced before. On Delta Macros, it didn't seem to occur.'

  'No. Nor on Tiangan.' It was her turn to frown. 'In the Confederation, everything else is carefully researched - but not love. We know only about satisfying our physical needs, and I'm beginning to think that sexual gratification is not nearly enough.' She stood on tiptoe and kissed the beautiful lean planes of his face gently. 'I think we can learn a great deal from the people of Sunrise.

  And in the meantime, I would like very much to research the topic of love with you - my Mak.' She used the words of Sunrise deliberately, and he echoed them.

  'I too, my Soo.'

  #####

  Chapter 15: HERRA RENEWED

  It wasn’t until early in the morning six days later that Herra began to show signs of recovery, by which time her attendants were extremely worried. It was Davred who first noticed the change in her. 'Katia, come and look! Herra's breathing has speeded up, and she's got some colour in her cheeks. Is she going to wake up, do you think?'

  Katia came rushing from the back of the cave to join him, her hair still dripping wet. She knelt by Herra, felt her pulse and checked the Elder Sister's body signs carefully. 'I think it'l be at least an hour before she regains consciousness. She has to speed up her body functions first, and exercise her internal muscles.'

  What the Sisters thought normal would be considered miracles of self-control by the scientists of the Confederation, thought Davred. One day he hoped to pass on this rich fund of knowledge to Confex. He felt no disloyalty about his dual allegiances, either to his old col eagues or to his new allies. He now considered himself a part of both worlds and he intended to unite them both in the struggle to stamp out violence. He knew that was his destiny. As Herra would say, the God within him had spoken. 'How shall we tell her about us?' he asked.

  'I think she'll know without telling, my Davred.' A week of enforced seclusion had made them grow together more quickly than ever they ever could have done under normal conditions. Briefly Katia's hand went out to touch his. 'So, there is time for your leg exercises while we wait.'

  'You're a hard taskmistress.'

  'First exercise. We have a long walk ahead of us.'

  But as Herra's muscular movements became more marked and some colour returned to her face, Katia went to sit by her with water and glowberries ready on a big leaf. Davred fidgeted around, first looking out of the cave, then coming to stand by Herra, then fiddling with his pack.

  Eventually Herra's eyes fluttered open. She saw Katia, looked around for Davred, and sighed with relief. 'Ah, you're both safe! Well done, child.'

  Katia helped her to sit up and drink the water, then proffered the fruit. As Herra began to eat slowly, she beckoned to Davred. 'Come and sit with us, Lord Davred.'

  QUEST Shannah Jay 92

  He sat down next to Katia and the look that passed between them made Herra's hand pause on its way to her mouth. Katia flushed under her searching scrutiny and Davred automatically put his arm round her shoulders.

  'The prophecy is being fulfilled quickly, Elder Sister,' he said with quiet confidence. 'It was the right time.'

  'You're able to feel such moments, Lord Davred?'

  'It seems so. Since I came down to your world, I am, at any rate.'

  'It isn't usual for a man to possess that Gift, even here.'

  'Davred is different from other men, Herra. He's long been practising the simpler Disciplines, after watching us do them. I've begun correcting his efforts and teaching him the next steps. He learns quickly and has a distinct aptitude.'

  'I used to try out your exercises in my quarters on the satellite,' Davred admitted, 'but you really need someone to check your breathing for you and correct the tiny details of posture and muscle control, especially in the early stages.

  And the pseudo-gravity would probably have made a difference, too. I didn't make progress then the way I'm doing now.'

  'Satellite?' queried Herra.

  Together Katia and Davred explained about Davred's people, taking over smoothly from each other at points one was better able to explain than the other, in a way that astonished Herra. Already they were a couple, rather than two separate people. The tale led inevitably to a ful explanation of all that had happened since Herra began the Discipline of Renewal, including the confession of how Davred had killed Katia's attacker. This left Katia in tears, as usual.

  'Stop! Why have you not Cleansed your Spirit?'

  'I didn't dare leave Davred alone. I - I estimated that it would take me at least a day, if not two.'

  'You were ever the most tender-hearted of my Sisters. Well, now that I'm awake and feeling in excellent health again, we shall attend to your needs. Do you also feel burdened with guilt about the killing, Lord Davred?'

  'No. It was the only thing to do. We couldn't have kept a man like that prisoner with the few amenities we have here. I hated to do it, but it was necessary.'

  'The minor Discipline, then, will be enough for you. You shouldn't leave a killing to stain your soul, however necessary it was. Katia, how do we stand for food?'

  'I'll need to gather more before I begin.'

  'And I'l need better exercise for my larger body muscles than is possible in this cave. I'll come with you, in case of trouble, and we shall leave you here, Lord, in the minor Discipline of Cleansing the Spirit. This is how . . . '

  They left Davred semi-conscious. He was breathing slowly and looking very relaxed. Herra set further wards across the entrance gap to keep him safe, then breathed in the air with great appreciation. 'Ah, the air never smells this good in Tenebrak!' As they walked down into the woods, she began a series of exercises using the trees and running across level stretches until she was glowing with health. She looked ageless again.

  The gathering of food went smoothly, and although Herra sensed the presence of other people in the woods, none came near them.

  'Shal I be able to sense such things one day?' asked Katia. 'Is it a Discipline or a Gift?'

  'Both. All Gifts can be enhanced by the correct training. You'll be gifted in many ways, but your Gifts won't ripen all at once. They never do.'

  'Yes.' Katia raised troubled eyes to the Elder Sister's face and took a deep breath. 'Herra - before we go back - you must tell me. Have I done wrong to become Davred's wife? Wil it affect the Quest and my duties to the Sisterhood?'

  'Of course it will affect them . But it will also enhance your contribution to the Quest. If you were a fully-committed temple Sister - like Cheral, for instance - you couldn't love him as you do. I think, child, that you will spend the greater part of your life outside the temples.'

  QUEST Shannah Jay 93

  'I don't want to - to shirk my responsibilities.'

  'It won't stop you from serving our cause, or from being a true Sister. I think - no, I know that it's vital for you and Davred to have children. That's very important. In your descendants lies the future of our world.' She scrutinised Katia, then gave a little nod, as if satisfied at a correct prognosis.

  'He said we'd created our first daughter - the first time we shared love,' Katia confessed.

  Herra studied Katia's face and body carefully, then nodded again. 'It could be so. Time will tell.' She nodded. 'He is indeed the Manifestation of the God, if he can sense that. And first daughter,' she repeated with satisfaction,

  'means you'll have others.'

  Katia's sigh of relief echoed across the clearing.

  Herra touched the younger woman's cheek briefly in a caress. 'Child, why do you worry so? Trust our Brother to help you find your path.'

  'I'll try. But it feels selfish to have found such joy at a time of trouble.'

  'Revel in it! Our Brother doesn't ask us to be miserable when we serve him. And now that you've rid your soul of part of its burden, and gathered some food as well, we can return to our cave and complete y
our healing.' She suddenly froze in her tracks. 'Wait. Someone's coming.'

  A few minutes later a man entered the clearing and paused to pick some fruit. At the sight of him, Katia turned a ghastly white. 'It's the man we killed! How can that be?'

  Herra's hand came across her mouth too late. The man turned towards the sound. He pulled out a dagger with the swiftness of long practice. Carefully he moved towards the bushes behind which they were hiding and reached out to pull them aside.

  Herra stood up, but to Katia's surprise, she didn't still the man. 'What are you searching for, friend?'

  'Such as you!'

  'And?' Herra's voice was compelling.

  'And my twin brother, who vanished several days ago. Have you seen him, you witches? He looks very like me.'

  Katia drew in a painful breath that was more like a sob and the man's eyes narrowed. 'Your young companion would seem to know something. If you've harmed him, you she-devils . . . '

  ' Put away your knife, friend, and we shall discuss the matter.'

  As his hand moved of its own accord to sheath the dagger, sweat stood out on the man's brow, but he couldn’t stop the movement, or even slow it. When he looked back at Herra, fear was behind the loathing in his wide brown eyes and his tanned face had taken on a paler tinge. 'Serpent watch over me!' he exclaimed. 'I didn't believe their tales of what you devil's spawn can do!'

  'Shall you sit down of your own accord, or do you require my help?' Herra asked, her voice more menacing for its sweetly reasonable tone. Katia remembered that voice chastising novices who had committed misdemeanours, and the way they had writhed under it. Cheral's loud scolding had been as nothing compared to Herra's soft reasoning.

  The man sat down reluctantly and the two Sisters followed suit.

  'What's your name, friend?'

  'I'm no friend of yours, you . . . '

  Herra raised one hand and he flinched. 'We haven't offered you insults and we don't merit them from you. If you prefer, I'll put a compulsion upon you to speak to us with respect . . . '