by Faye Avalon
“He tied Willa in the yard with a piece of rope,” she said, snatching breaths. “He muzzled her.”
“It’s okay.”
“He hurt her before,” Erin said, knowing she owed Nathan an explanation and wanting him to understand her need to run from Justin. “He hated that I loved her so much, and he wanted to hurt me. He came home one night and told me he’d arranged to sell her to someone else. That they were coming the next day to collect her.”
The words, the pain of memories, tightened her throat, and she had to gulp down more water. Only the stroke of Nathan’s hand gave her strength to go on.
“I was powerless to do anything. He was right when he said that Willa is legally his. He gave her to me, but he was her owner. I didn’t have a leg to stand on if push came to shove. When the people he’d arranged to sell her to called that night and said they’d changed their mind, that they wanted a younger puppy, Justin went crazy. He said he wasn’t going to spend another day watching me moon over Willa.”
Erin looked down at her dog, currently lying in her bed but watching them curiously.
“He grabbed Willa by her neck and pulled her out onto the balcony. I remember screaming at him, begging him.” Erin stopped to drink again. “He yanked her up by the scruff of her neck and dragged her to the railing. I grabbed for her, clawed at him. Told him I’d do anything, as long as he didn’t hurt her. He glared at me, and, God, I’ll never forget the look in his eyes. Then he flung Willa back onto the balcony floor and kicked her. He kicked her so hard…”
Erin pressed her fingers to her eyes, trying to block out the images that had played in her nightmares for too long. Trying to forget Willa’s painful cry, and the sound of boot leather colliding with precious muscle and bone.
“That’s when I knew I had to leave.” She dropped her hands down and took a deep breath in. “That’s when I came here.”
Nathan took her hands in his. The raw emotion she glimpsed in his green eyes made her breath catch and her heart stumble.
“Did he ever hurt you, Erin?”
She wasn’t going to insult them both by lying to him. She nodded.
“Tell me what happened.”
Erin slipped one hand from beneath Nathan’s but kept the other one in his tight grip. She rubbed her free hand over her neck and collarbone. “The night before I left, the night he hurt Willa, he…” She rubbed her hand over her neck again. “I… I told him I didn’t want him anywhere near me. It was a stupid thing to say, because I knew he’d see that as…as…”
Nathan’s fingers tightened around hers. She looked at his big hand, so steady and supportive. She knew without a single doubt that he would never raise it in anger or use it to hurt her. He was tough, uncompromising. But he was a good man. Reassured by that thought, she felt the strength to continue, to tell him all of it.
“He reminded me of what I’d said on the balcony, that I’d do anything… He kicked the door in.”
Nathan hissed in a breath, his hand holding hers so tightly, she felt her knuckles crunch. He must have realized, because he loosened his hold and reached for her other hand again.
“Afterwards, he left. And I packed up our things and ran. My friend Kay, she helped me. She’d helped me once before, when I walked out on him one evening and said I wasn’t coming back. When I went to Kay’s apartment, he came after me. Tom, the man Kay was living with at the time, told Justin to leave. The next day, Tom was mugged and beaten up badly. He said he didn’t see who’d done it, that it was likely some random thing, but I knew Justin was behind it. Can I have some more water?”
Nathan stared at her so hard, she wondered if he’d heard her. Then he got up and went to the sink. Seconds later, he was back and, after handing her the glass, pulled up a chair in front of her.
He took her hand again. “Go on.”
“Justin was involved in property development and land regeneration, but I knew he had dealings in other things. That he knew people…” She sipped the water. “He told me if I didn’t come back to him, he’d arrange for worse to happen than having Tom beaten up. I didn’t feel I had any option but to go back to him.”
Nathan’s dark look was almost more forbidding than what she was telling him. And it was strange, but in the telling of it, it seemed like a weight had been lifted and she could see things more clearly. The fear had dissipated, and after the confrontation with Justin, she felt lighter somehow, more able to deal with him and what the future might bring. It was like throwing light on a darkened shadow lurking in the corner of a room, and seeing only a bundle of dirty laundry.
“I didn’t want anything more to happen to Kay, didn’t want her involved, so I told her we needed to end our friendship. She’d already finished with Tom, and I still wonder if that had something to do with what happened, but Kay wouldn’t hear of it. She did agree, after much pleading from me, that it was best to let Justin think that was the case. So I told him that after what had happened, she didn’t want anything more to do with me. He must have accepted it, because he didn’t go near Kay when I ran this time. He didn’t know that Kay helped me, that she’d let me use her car, arranged for me to live in her aunt’s holiday rental for a few months. She’s even helping me apply for a new identity.”
“She’s a good friend,” Nathan said.
Erin smiled. “I couldn’t have come this far without her.”
Nathan stroked his thumb over the back of her hand. “Did you mean what you said? About staying?”
Erin drew in a breath, watching that slow, steady slide of his thumb. “Yes.” She brought her gaze to his. “I’m tired of being scared. Of looking over my shoulder. I need to prove to myself that I’m strong and capable of handling things head-on. I’m not going to run anymore.”
Nathan shifted forward, raised her hands to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. “You know something?”
She shook her head.
“I’m not going to run either.” He turned one of her hands and pressed his mouth to her palm. “As long as you’re planning to stick around, why don’t we see where this goes, Erin? You and me.”
Her heart fluttered so sweetly, spreading a delicious warmth through her chest. She extricated her hands from his to slide them up his forearms. “I’d like that.”
He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her to her feet. “Don’t ever think that you’re not capable, Erin. Or that you’re not strong. You did what you needed to do to protect yourself, to protect Willa. You’ve made a new life for both of you. It takes guts to do that. ”
Because he looked so fierce, Erin pressed her hands to his cheeks. “Thank you.”
He kissed her, deeply and with such passion, Erin’s heart gave a full-out stutter. When he pulled away, she fully expected him to whisk her into his arms and take her upstairs, but instead he smiled and smoothed down his jacket.
“It’s setting up to be a fine evening. What do you say we take Willa for a walk? She’s had a crap day. You both have.”
“That would be really good.” Erin looked down at her dog, at her furiously wagging tail. “I hope it’s true that dogs live for the moment,” she said, walking to the hallway for her coat. “It certainly looks as if she’s already put her ordeal from her mind.”
And as Erin slipped her hand into Nathan’s, she was determined to do the same.
Chapter Thirteen
Erin couldn’t believe that she’d been able to stick to her guns despite the full force of Nathan’s argument and persuasive skills. His points were logical and reasonable, but she was determined to stay in the cottage and not move in with him as he wanted her to do.
Being independent and living in her own space was part of her new philosophy to mold her life and make decisions based on what she wanted and not governed by fear and apprehension. She would no longer allow anyone else to dictate her choices.
After she called
Kay and told her what happened with Justin, Kay contacted her aunt and arranged for Erin to rent the cottage throughout the summer. Erin had been adamant she would now pay the relevant rental rate, especially since her new landlady had agreed to Nathan changing the locks.
The thought had crossed Erin’s mind to ask Naomi if she could rent her old apartment, but she had decided to wait a little longer before deciding whether to plant her roots permanently in Bodmin. Not the least of her considerations was Nathan. While life with him had been amazing in the four weeks since Justin had left, Erin wasn’t quite ready to make any permanent decisions about anything.
With each week that passed, Erin relaxed a little more. She was hopeful that Justin had given up on her and decided she just wasn’t worth the effort. While she wanted to believe that, there was a small part of her that couldn’t quite accept it was the case. Justin wasn’t the type to simply walk away. As well as changing the locks, Nathan had wanted to install a full security system, but Erin thought that was taking things a bit far, seeing as it wasn’t her property to begin with. Her refusal had initially prompted Nathan to renew his argument about having Erin move in with him, but she had remained resolute.
The time Erin spent with Nathan in those weeks were some of the happiest of her life. She’d compromised on her decision to remain at the cottage by agreeing to stay over at his place during weekends. Weeknights, he stayed at the cottage with her. He hadn’t much liked her decision, but he’d seemed to understand her need for it.
On their nights at her place, Erin took pleasure in baking for him. She was currently in the middle of rolling out pastry and trying to keep her mind on the task, but it was difficult. Her thoughts kept straying to the two long nights she’d be spending without him. He had a security job in Paris, and he’d asked her to go with him, but she had several commitments over the next few days. Talia offered to look after Willa, saying that it would give her the opportunity to convince Caleb about getting the puppy Talia had her heart set on. But Erin hadn’t wanted to leave Willa, not just yet.
She hadn’t told Nathan of her concerns about Justin not being finished with her. Apart from the fact that she didn’t want Nathan going after Justin, she didn’t want to actually voice her thoughts out loud for fear they would become real. As the weeks passed, it looked less and less likely Justin would do anything anyway.
Mollified by that thought, Erin got busy preparing Nathan’s favorite pie.
* * * * *
Nathan didn’t shift on the weekends. He’d decided it was best not to do so when Erin was staying with him, since he didn’t want a repeat of that time she’d come down in the middle of the night and found him naked after a run. Things were going too well, and he didn’t want to rock the boat.
But shit, how he sometimes wished she were a shifter female. He felt an almost overpowering need to run with her after they’d made love. To have her beside him as they pounded across the moor, while the wind whipped through their fur and the ground thumped beneath their paws. Then they would return home, shift back to their human form and make love until the sun came up.
Shit. He was getting poetic in his old age.
Weeknights, he stayed over at her cottage. He didn’t want her out of his sight any more than necessary because he couldn’t quite ignore the instinct that warned him things weren’t quite over with that asshole Justin Meers. Not that he’d ever tell her. She’d been relaxed of late, and he loved the way things were between them.
He knew that Meers still had the ability to mess with her head. It was early days and it would take a while for her to be rid of the bastard for good. That was if his instincts were wrong and they’d actually heard the last of him.
Just to be safe, he’d put a security detail on Meers. One of his old army buddies who sometimes freelanced for Nathan had agreed to track the man twenty-four-seven until further notice. Nathan intended to know exactly what Meers was up to every minute of the day, even down to when he took a piss.
For ammunition purposes, in case it came to that, Nathan was looking into Meers’s business activities. It didn’t hurt to know your enemy inside out. His initial investigations had indicated the man looked squeaky clean, but that often didn’t mean squat when you dug deeper and dirtier. Which was exactly what Nathan was in the process of doing.
It couldn’t have been a worse time for him to be leaving for the Paris job. Nathan had asked Erin to go with him on the trip, but she’d declined, citing her extra shifts at the coffee shop and interview at the local university to study plant science on their degree program. Despite his disappointment and concern, Nathan had eventually accepted her refusal. He’d asked Caleb and Tynan to keep an eye on her while he was away. He had thought to put one of his security team on Erin while he was gone, the same man who had watched out for Naomi when she’d been targeted by a stalker. But Erin had overheard him voicing his plans to Tynan and had laid into him hard. He understood her need to put what had happened behind her, to start building a normal life for herself and stop living in fear. Which was why he’d eventually given in and promised her he’d lay off the bodyguard. But shit, the woman had the ability to put a few gray hairs on him.
Despite that he knew he’d covered all the bases, it wasn’t enough. What he felt for Erin went deep. So deep that Nathan had called Caleb that morning and asked him to get the ball rolling on the meeting with the Council of Principals.
He couldn’t ignore his true feelings any longer, and he wanted to claim her. She was his mate; he knew that unreservedly. He felt it to his very soul.
She is my mate.
The urge to mark her as his became more urgent each time they made love. He hated that he was forced to keep his eyes shut each time he climaxed. He craved the connection they would share when their gazes met at the moment they joined. But there was no way he could risk her seeing his eyes turn gold again, at least not until he’d found the words, and the right time, to tell her the truth about himself.
He’d sought Caleb’s counsel in that respect. Had asked his friend for the right words, the appropriate actions that would help him explain, that would help her understand. Caleb had told him to take things slow, to drip feed information and gauge Erin’s reaction. But he’d forbidden him to do anything more concrete until after the Council had met to discuss the situation.
Nathan had choked back his response. He knew his friend had to keep the pack’s safety and security uppermost, and he couldn’t fault the man for it. He was their leader, which made their protection his responsibility. Caleb’s fear was always that a human, once aware that shapeshifters lived amongst them, would make it common knowledge. With their existence revealed, the consequences would be catastrophic.
The last time humans had discovered the existence of shapeshifters, packs had been scattered and families ripped apart. Shifters had been tortured and killed. Although that was almost three hundred years ago, Nathan knew that the century wouldn’t dictate the suffering caused by blind terror and fear of the unknown. In that respect, human nature never changed.
While Nathan couldn’t deny that he was fearful of Erin’s reaction, he never for one moment believed that she would put their kind in jeopardy. What terrified him most, he realized, was her rejection. Of him. Her shock and revulsion at what he was. He couldn’t bear that. These last weeks with her had been a revelation to him. Each and every time he saw her, she took his breath clean away, made his heart stagger and his blood heat.
Now, as he arrived at her cottage for what would be their last night together before his Paris trip, he couldn’t shake the feeling of gloom at leaving her, even for three days. And he couldn’t ignore the growing concern that the Council would deny him the opportunity to make Erin his mate. To allow him to reveal his true nature to her, and to accept her into their community.
But he wouldn’t let the worry of that cloud his last night with her, so he buried it. For now. He tapped t
he front door, then used the key she’d given him. It had pleased him no end that she’d learned to trust him enough to do that. After what she’d been through with that asshole, he marveled that she’d been able to trust another man again.
He thanked all that was holy that the man she’d chosen was him.
“Hey.” He walked to where she was drying her hands at the sink. “Something smells good.”
She turned to move into his arms. “Apart from me?”
When she fluttered her eyelashes in an exaggerated fashion, he reached down and tapped her lightly on the ass. “You always smell good. But I was referring to what’s coming from that oven.”
She slipped her arms around his neck. “That would be pecan pie.”
He closed his eyes and sniffed the air. “I’ve died and gone to heaven.”
She laughed. “That will come later. After dinner. I’ve got plans.”
When she winked, gave him a quick peck and tried to move away, he pulled her back. “You don’t get to say stuff like that and walk away, sweetheart. I’ve got my own plans, and they start right now.”
He drew her in for a passionate kiss, his mouth covering hers while her taste exploded on his lips. He let his tongue dance with hers, already feeling the power surging up from his core and demanding he make her his in the most elemental way.
She pulled back and laughed. “Put your plans back in your pants, mister. You’re not spoiling dinner again.”
With considerable effort, he regained control of his need to mark her, but there was no way he would be able to stop it much longer. He steadfastly refused to believe the Council wouldn’t allow him to mate with Erin, which meant he could tell her the truth soon after he returned from Paris. He would use the time away from her to get the words right in his head, rehearse them over and over, until there was no way she would be able to hear them and reject him. He had to do it right. Fuck. It would be the most important conversation of his life, and the last thing he intended was to blow it.