In Love with John Doe

by Cindy Kirk

  “I know it’s hard for me,” Nick said in a husky voice. She’d barely turned off the ignition when he reached over and took her hand. “I don’t want to leave Addie. Or you.”

  Her heart turned to mush. For a second Lexi feared she would lose control. But she swallowed a couple of times, blinked rapidly for several seconds until the urge to break down and sob subsided.

  “I don’t want you to leave, either,” she said finally when she found her voice. “But it’s the right thing to do. Just like having Addie meet her father.”

  His thumb caressed her palm. “Even while I’m gone I want to stay involved in those negotiations.”

  “Are you sure?” Lexi sputtered, finding it difficult to concentrate with his nearness assaulting her senses.

  “Just because I’m leaving town for a little while doesn’t mean I no longer care.” He glanced at the courthouse then down at his watch. “I’d better go inside.”

  “Good luck with—”

  Suddenly his lips were on hers. The hard, fierce kiss left her head spinning.

  “I’ll be back,” he said. “You can count on that.”

  The phone rang just before Addie’s eight o’clock bedtime.“It’s Jack.” The child scrambled up from her seat in front of the television to grab Lexi’s cell. “I mean, Nick.”

  Lexi prayed it was him calling. Not only because she wanted to hear his voice but because her daughter’s heart would be broken if he didn’t call as promised.

  “Hello.” Addie’s face lit up like a hundred-watt bulb. “How was your daddy?”

  Lexi let out the breath she’d been holding. Nick had called.

  He’d kept his promise.

  She leaned back against the sofa, her knees weak with relief.

  “Put him on speaker, Addie.” Lexi couldn’t keep the smile from her lips. “I want to hear all about his day, too.”

  “How are my girls?” Nick’s rich baritone filled the room.

  “We’re fine,” Addie answered. “’Cept Mommy cut her finger. She cried and cried.”

  “Are you okay, Lex?” Even across the airwaves, his concern came across loud and clear.

  “It was nothing. I was slicing some French bread and nicked my finger.” It had hurt a little. But once she’d started crying it had been hard to stop. And though she wasn’t about to admit it aloud, she knew most of the tears had little to do with the cut finger. “No big deal.”

  “What about your dad?” Addie pressed, returning to her original question.

  “I had your locket in my pocket when I went to meet him,” Nick said. “I kept thinking about you two as I walked up the steps to his home.”

  “What is he like?” Lexi asked.

  “He seems nice. It was strange to meet someone who’s my dad and not know him at all.”

  “Did you like him?” Addie probed.

  “I think so,” Nick said. “But it’s like what you and I talked about that day in the gym. Sometimes it takes time to get to know someone and like them. It doesn’t always happen right away.”

  They talked for a while longer before Lexi sent Addie off to bed and switched the phone off speaker. “How is Ellen?”

  “Well, for starters she’s not my fiancée.”

  “Oh, Nick, please tell me you didn’t break off the engagement already. You didn’t even give her a—”

  “We were never engaged,” he said quickly. “She told the sheriff that because she thought it would give her more credibility when she called.”

  Lexi collapsed against the back of the sofa. “Were you even dating?”

  “We were,” he said. “Apparently we’d been dating for six months. Both of us agreed it was time for things between us to either move to the next level or call it quits. I remember coming to Jackson Hole to ski and make some decisions about our future.”

  “It seems odd you wouldn’t be making that decision together.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “Where were you staying before your accident?” Lexi propped her feet up on the coffee table. For a second it was easy to believe he was simply away on a business trip and calling home to check in. “The sheriff couldn’t find you registered at any of the motels in the area.”

  “I was using a friend’s condo in Teton Village,” Nick said. “Tony picked me up at the airport, gave me the keys to his place then after dropping me off, he headed to Europe.”

  “What about the money?” Lexi asked, trying to think of all the questions that had puzzled them both. “Why did you have so much on you?”

  “I’ve always liked to carry cash,” he said. “I never was one for credit cards.”

  “What about the stone building with the bell tower?” she asked. “Was that an old high school or college?”

  He laughed. “It’s the church we attend. And the wedding I remembered was of some mutual friends. Ellen was a bridesmaid. I was the best man.”

  “Sounds like you’re starting to remember more,” Lexi said, her heart clenching at the realization of how closely his and Ellen’s lives were intertwined. They might not be engaged but they were on the verge of formalizing their relationship before he left Texas. “Returning to Dallas has been a good thing.”

  “I miss you, Lexi,” he said. “I can’t begin to tell you how much.”

  Me, too, she wanted to say, but pressed her lips together instead.

  “Tell me what’s on the agenda for tomorrow,” she said.

  “Church and brunch with my father and Ellen. I’m not sure what else,” he said. “I’ll call you tomorrow night and tell you how it went.”

  “You don’t have to—”

  “I want to.” His voice lowered to a husky whisper. “I love you, sweetheart.”

  “Nick, don’t.” But she was so greedy to hear the words that her protest sounded weak even to her own ears.

  “Don’t what? Love you? That’s not possible.”

  “Good night, Nick.” She knew he was waiting to hear the words from her lips but kept her mouth shut. Words could be chains. She wanted him to be free to find what made him happy without feeling tied to her and the promises he’d made.

  But when his end went silent and she was certain he’d hung up, with the phone cradled in her palm, she poured out all the words she couldn’t say minutes ago.

  Nick sat on the bed in his luxury condo in downtown Dallas and flipped open Addie’s locket. He smiled. When he and Lexi had first spoken tonight, she’d seemed a bit distant. But right when their conversation appeared to be over, she’d finally started talking—about how much he meant to her and how hard it had been for her to let him leave. He’d opened his mouth to respond when it suddenly struck him that she didn’t know he was still there. She was saying all those words she couldn’t say because she was afraid it would influence the way he felt about Ellen, about Dallas, about his old life.Silly woman. She didn’t realize that she and Addie were his life now. The only place he wanted to be was with them. Still, because it was important to her, he’d stay in Texas until he got all his memory back. Then he’d be hopping the corporate jet back to Jackson Hole and the woman he loved.

  They’d figure out the rest…together.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “I s it coming back to you?” Ellen asked when they’d returned to his office that Monday after a tour of the entire floor.

  Nick just smiled.“And what about me? Am I a little more familiar?”

  Nick let his gaze linger. With honey-colored hair to her shoulders, big blue eyes and long shapely legs, Ellen was an attractive woman. He could see why a man would be attracted to her. But when she stood close—like she was now—there wasn’t even the slightest spark of electricity between them. Very puzzling, especially considering they’d been dating for six months. “It’s coming,” he said with a grin when he realized she expected an answer. “At a snail’s pace, but it’s coming.”

  He glanced at his mahogany desk. “I remember sitting in this office, making calls, working on cases and looking out th
e windows over the Dallas skyline.”

  “Well, I guess that’s something,” she said with a rueful smile.

  “Let’s go to lunch.”

  Her perfectly arched blonde brows drew together. “It’s only eleven.”

  “We’ll beat the crowd,” he said. “You pick the place.”

  “Hanabi is good.” Penny, his secretary, waltzed into the room and dropped a stack of files on his desk.

  “Hanabi?”

  “It’s sushi,” Ellen said. “You don’t like sushi.”

  Like a comet a memory flashed, shining brightly for a second then fading just as quickly. “But you like it. Right?”

  Ellen hesitated. “Well, I—”

  “She’s eaten there every week since you’ve been gone,” Penny said then shut her mouth at Ellen’s warning glance.

  “Let’s give it a try,” Nick said.

  “Before you both leave,” Penny said. “I want to remind you that Mrs. Rediger’s retirement party is today from eleven to one in the large conference room.”

  Nick waited until Penny had left the office before turning to Ellen. “Mrs. Rediger?”

  “She’s been your father’s secretary for thirty years,” Ellen explained. “His right arm.”

  “Will my dad be there?” Nick had spent most of Sunday with his father catching up. Awkward at first, by the evening they were fairly comfortable with each other. Only now did Nick realize they hadn’t discussed if his father would be in the office today.

  “Mrs. Rediger told me he’s in Austin today.” Ellen lowered her voice to a whisper. “I think she was disappointed he was going to miss her reception, especially since he’s back from London.”

  “Well, then, we’d better stop at the reception before we leave for lunch,” Nick said.

  “Are you serious?”

  Nick took her arm. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

  Nick had shut off all the lights in his condo and now sat in the darkened living room with the shades open and the lights of the city spread out before him. He’d just finished telling Lexi about his day.“I bet his secretary was thrilled you came to her party,” Lexi said.

  “She seemed happy.” Nick couldn’t understand why Mrs. Rediger kept thanking him, when she was the one who’d given thirty years of service to the firm. She’d started to cry when he’d told her as much.

  “What did you do after that?” Lexi asked.

  “Ellen and I went to lunch at this sushi place not far from the office.”

  “It surprises me that you like sushi.”

  “That’s what Ellen said, but I remembered she did, so I thought I’d give it a try.”

  “That was…nice,” Lexi said, a catch in her voice. “How’d you like it?”

  “Ugh,” he said, smiling when Lexi laughed. “If I ask you a question, will you tell me the truth?”

  “You can ask me anything. I’ll always tell you the truth.”

  “Do you think I’m a nice person?”

  “Of course you are. Why do you even ask?”

  “Well, Ellen seemed surprised that I’d go to the sushi place with her.”

  “And?”

  “Mrs. Rediger and the rest of the staff made such a big deal that I’d come to her party. It was as if they didn’t expect to see me there.” Nick paused and reminded himself that this was Lexi. There was nothing he couldn’t say to her. “I’m getting the feeling I wasn’t a very nice guy.”

  “I don’t for one minute believe that,” Lexi said, her indignation making him smile. “You have a good heart, Nick. That’s not something that changes.”

  Her words buoyed his sagging spirits. He took a sip of wine. “Enough about me. Tell me what’s going on in your life.”

  “You’ll never guess who’s back in town.”

  “Who?”

  “Mimi and her new husband. I ran into them at the supermarket.”

  “How’s she doing?” Nick took another sip of wine and relaxed against the back of his chair. He’d looked forward to this call all day. Even talking about day-today things with Lexi was special.

  “Mimi seems happy,” Lexi said. “And her new husband appears to be a genuinely nice guy. I don’t think she regrets wasting money on those flowers and invitations one bit.”

  “Speaking of invitations,” he said. “My secretary, Penny, is getting married. I told her about the Web site we’d found and she checked it out. It sure brought back the memories.”

  “I had a lot of fun picking out those invitations,” Lexi said with a sigh then yipped. “I didn’t realize it was this late. I’d better get to bed. Take care, Nick.”

  “I love you, Lexi,” he said, but she’d already clicked off and the words fell into dead air.

  Nick continued to call Lexi and Addie every night for the next two weeks. Each day more and more of his memory was returning. By the end of the second week all of it had come back with the exception of his relationship with Ellen.He remembered spending time with her but the emotional aspects of their relationship still eluded him. Lexi had told him to stay in Dallas until he knew who he was, but he was impatient to return to Jackson Hole. Addie was set to meet her father for the first time next week and he wanted to be there to support both her and her mother.

  Lexi had been quieter than usual on the phone and he sensed her insecurities were playing with her head. He worried that it wouldn’t be long before she’d start pushing him away to protect herself.

  Nick wasn’t about to let that happen. He glanced at his watch. Five o’clock. It was time to pay Ellen a visit. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of this earlier. While the thought of kissing a woman other than Lexi felt wrong in so many ways, he had to give it a try. He needed to go home to Lexi a free man. There was only one way to do it.

  Ellen’s outer office was deserted so Nick opened her door and stuck his head inside. She stood alone, gazing out the window. Since he’d returned she’d been at his side constantly, helping and encouraging him. But he sensed her heart wasn’t in it. Or maybe it was that his heart wasn’t in it. “May I come in?”

  She turned and smiled at the sound of his voice. “As if you need to ask.”

  He moved to her side, then took his time, determined not to rush. Reaching up, Nick gently touched her face, pulling her chin and her mouth up to his. He brushed his lips against hers in a chaste kiss. When she didn’t pull away, he kissed her again, still gently but with a question, waiting for her to respond, waiting for his body to react.

  “Get away from her.”

  Strong hands jerked him back. Strong hands that belonged to Steve Laughlin, one of the attorneys in the firm.

  “If you think you can walk away from her like she doesn’t matter then come back and pick up where you left off, you’re wrong. Ellen is too good for you.”

  Out of the corner of his eye, Nick saw Ellen’s eyes begin to shine. He smiled.

  “You think this is funny?” Steve’s voice rose. “You—”

  “I think my experiment worked,” Nick said.

  “What experiment?” Steve and Ellen said in the same breath.

  “I like Ellen and I admire her,” Nick said. “That’s all. When I kissed her I realized I’d never felt anything more for her than friendship. That’s why I couldn’t remember loving her because those feelings were never there.”

  “They were never there for me, either. I cared about you. I liked you. But I didn’t love you,” Ellen said. “So it looks like you can go back to your dark-haired woman in Jackson Hole with a clear conscience.”

  At his look of surprise she smiled. “I saw the way you kissed her in the car before you came into the courthouse.”

  “I love her,” he said. “Just like you love Steve.”

  Ellen’s cheeks pinked but she didn’t deny it.

  Jack smiled. The past had been addressed and put to bed. Now he could finally do what he’d wanted to do for the past two weeks…head back to Jackson Hole and Lexi.

  Chapter Seventee
n

  “W hat do you mean you don’t need me to work today?” Lexi stood at the door to the Wildwoods kitchen dumbfounded to see that Coraline already had the breakfast preparation well in hand. “This is my Saturday to work. And I’m completely free. Mary Karen called last night and picked up Addie this morning for a nature walk around Jenny Lake.”

  Coraline’s lips curved upward as if she found Lexi’s protests amusing. “Go home and clean your house, then. Or give yourself a manicure. I’m sure you can find something to keep you busy.”Lexi raised a hand to her head. While most people would kill for a day off, she needed to keep busy. Last night she’d talked to Nick. That in itself wasn’t unusual, since he’d called every night since he’d left Jackson Hole. But he’d been happy, almost euphoric. Before he’d gotten off the phone he’d let it slip that he was going out with Ellen and a bunch of friends from the office.

  That’s when Lexi knew he’d made his decision. It wouldn’t be long before he quit calling and embraced his new life fully.

  No, her heart argued, he loves me.

  “Lexi.”

  She looked up to find Coraline standing beside her, a concerned look in her eyes. “Are you okay?”

  “I— It’s just been hard since Nick left,” Lexi admitted. “It helps if I keep busy. So is it okay if I hang around and help you this morning?”

  “Honey, any other time would be fine,” Coraline said. “But today I feel like being alone in the kitchen. You understand.”

  Lexi nodded, though she didn’t understand at all. “I guess I’ll check and see if they need help in the dining room.”