by Jillian Neal
Ryan’s molars began to ache from the fierce clench of his jaw. He glanced at Sienna. Nothing like baptism by fire. If he could talk her into it, she was going to get to meet Evie that afternoon instead of in a few weeks when they’d settled in a little more.
“Where did Alexa go?” How something so sweet had come out of someone so vile still stupefied Ryan. His baby girl was nothing like her mother, and he would see to it that Alexa never got the chance to poison her mind.
“Oh, you won’t believe this,” John huffed.
“Try me.” Ryan rolled his eyes. There was very little that he wouldn’t believe when it came to Alexa.
“New boyfriend whisked her off to Paris for the next two weeks. This won’t exactly stand up in court, but I went through her purse while she was in the bathroom. I took pictures of the plane tickets. I plan to ask her about her whereabouts on the stands.”
Squeezing his eyes shut, he debated exactly how to proceed.
“You know I love Evie Grace, and I’d do anything for you, man, but you gotta come get her. It took me ten minutes to figure out which doll was Elsa. She was crying. It was horrible.”
Ryan’s heart ached. “I’m on my way, John. Tell her I’ll be there as fast as I can. Just let me find some coffee and something to eat on the way. I have a situation here I want you to look over anyway.”
He ended the call and met Sienna’s frightened expression. Certain that sleeping with her and then telling her that he was leaving for Atlanta would bring back every horrible moment he knew he’d put her through, he drew her back into his arms.
“I need you not to freak out, okay?”
“You said you’d be there as fast as you could. Who were you talking to?”
“That was John. Sienna, would you mind coming back to Atlanta with me today? Please. Just for a few minutes, then we’ll head back here. I’m not leaving you again, but I have to go back.”
Her body tensed against his, but he was prepared this time. Her first instinct was always going to be to fly. He just had to keep her grounded for a little while longer.
“I’ll explain everything on the way. Just please say you’ll come with me. There’s someone I really want you to meet, and we can talk to John about Roby’s claims.”
Sienna ordered her mind to think logically. This was not like it was ten years ago. He wanted her to come with him this time. Talking to John about Roby would be the right thing to do. Running away wasn’t. She knew that. She’d learned that lesson over and over again. Trying to locate calm, she drew a deep breath. Her lungs filled with his scent. Sexy Southern pine and that musk that somehow made her feel like everything really was going to be okay.
If he was going back to Atlanta, then she was going to go, too. With a silent prayer that she wouldn’t have to see his horrible mother, she swallowed and opened her eyes. “Okay, I’ll go, if you’re sure you want me to.”
Relief eased the fierce set of his muscles. “Thank you. I do want you to. I need to tell you why I never showed back here after school. I need to tell you what happened. I’m not walking away this time, Sienna, but there are a few major complications that we need to talk about.”
She didn’t like the way major complications sounded at all, but she’d just agreed to go so she extracted herself from the bed and tried to figure out what to do next. Glancing down at her body, she decided clothing would be an excellent first step. As sexy as she’d thought it was the evening before, Ryan having ripped the pocket out of her jeans now posed a bit of a problem.
She held up the tattered denim. She could patch the back pocket, but not here and not now. It sounded like whatever was in Atlanta required Ryan’s attention immediately.
He stood beside her. His tense frown had given way to a slightly cocky grin. He hugged her to him again. “You can borrow a pair of my sweats, but they’re gonna be huge on you. I’m driving you home so you can wear those and I’ll get you inside the Inn without anyone else seeing that sexy ass that I’ve decided is all mine.”
“Oh, have you?” she drawled.
That possessive look in his eyes made her entire body shiver. Heat blossomed from her womb. Her nipples pebbled, though she’d ordered them not to. Her clit twitched in an imploring, hopeful plea to regain the level of attention he’d given it the evening before. She very much liked the sound of being all his.
His thumbs circled the rosy tips of her breasts. “Yes, ma’am, I have, and if what I have to go to Atlanta to pick up was anything else, I’d take you back to bed, have you all over again, and tell Atlanta to fuck off.”
With a hint of reckless abandon that made her vibrate in need, he leaned and kissed her again. His arms left her breasts to draw her back in as his tongue made gentle exploration of her mouth. His kisses had always been so soft they made her feel loved and so predatory that they made her weak in the knees.
Whatever he was going to tell her on the way to Atlanta, she hoped against hope that it would grant her some kind of magic wand that would erase the hurt she’d endured. She wanted so badly to forget that part of her life. She wanted a new life with him. That was all she’d ever wanted. She didn’t want to run anymore.
Fifteen
Having lived with Alexa for far too many years, Ryan was stunned when Sienna took approximately ten minutes to wash up, brush her teeth and hair, throw on long, billowing sundress, add a half dozen bracelets and necklaces, and declare herself ready to go.
“Uh, wow.” He’d settled in prepared to wait endlessly. He’d been given the perfect woman when he was seventeen years old. How the heck had he fucked up and lost her? Everything he rediscovered made him love her all the more. “You look beautiful.”
She wrinkled her nose and looked down at her sleeveless dress. She touched her bare shoulders and then ran her hands down the dress to smooth it. “Really? My mom always says this dress makes my ass look even bigger, but it’s so comfortable, and it’s a long way to Atlanta.”
“Your ass drives me wild, Sienna. Now, let’s go before I get too hung up thinking about it and make it impossible for me to walk or drive.”
Her cheeks colored, and he was rewarded with another one of those intoxicating giggles. She may not require much time to get ready, but he did know of a few things that Sienna Cooper needed to make it through the day.
“Let’s get some coffee and breakfast at Montgomery’s before we go.” He opened the passenger side door for her and helped her in.
“Are you sure we have time? I would really love some coffee.”
“Yeah, we’ll just be quick.”
Mac Montgomery glared at the man dressed in a cheap suit grilling him for information on Ryan McNamara. It wouldn’t have been more obvious what this guy did for a living if he’d worn a sign around his neck that said ‘Private Investigator’.
“Look, I don’t know where you got your facts from Mr…”
“Nesbitt,” the man supplied.
“Um hmm, well, Nesbitt, the McNamaras did own a big mansion on the beach several years ago, but it wasn’t here. It was way down in Hilton Head. That’s where all the money goes. McNamaras wouldn’t have bought up here. This is cheap Gypsy land. Why do you think they call it Gypsy Beach?”
Nesbitt nodded what Mac hoped was agreement. “You said their place is in Hilton Head?”
“Now, I’m not directly sure, see. You know they got into some financial trouble a while ago, and seems to me they sold their big ole’ house and the oceanfront right away.”
“Yes, that’s what I assumed as well. I’m just trying to make certain that my client gets everything she’s owed in the divorce, you understand.”
Mac fought not to roll his eyes. “Well, if I was you, I’d either head on back to Atlanta or go down to Hilton Head and check it out, but there aren’t any McNamaras here on Gypsy Beach, like I said.”
Nesbitt checked his watch. “Yeah, I haven’t come up with anything in the past few weeks. I think this case is about dry. Thanks for your help. I’m heading to
Charlotte for another client now.”
“Well, have a nice trip.” Mac edged the man closer to the door. He breathed a sigh of relief when the man’s Mercedes pulled out of the parking lot approximately two minutes before Ryan’s truck pulled in.
“Well, that was close,” Molly sighed. She and Mac shared a conspiratorial grin when their eyes landed on the girl Ryan had his arm around.
“Well, looks like Ruthie might’ve done her due in the magic making and the love giving departments.”
“Ryan and Sienna were meant to be. I don’t care what his mama or any investigator thinks, and I intend to work a little magic of my own,” Molly decreed.
“Gypsy blood runs deep.” Mac winked at her just as Ryan opened the door and escorted Sienna inside.
After a mildly odd breakfast, where the Montgomerys insisted that they sit in a hidden away corner of the restaurant behind a six-foot stack of foam boogie boards, Ryan and Sienna were on their way.
“Were Mac and Molly trying to hide us?” Sienna quizzed as she settled into the truck seat and they headed out.
“That was very strange.” Ryan shifted the truck into drive and pulled out of the gravel lot. He watched her sip the large to-go cup of coffee that Molly had generously offered her at no additional charge.
Neither of them seemed overly anxious to start the talking portion of the journey. Ryan’s nerves were eating at him. Finally, she kicked off her sandals, propped her feet up on his dash, and let the long skirt of the sundress cascade upwards past her knees. Ryan’s mouth was suddenly drier than the Sahara.
He’d momentarily forgotten how to speak when she sighed. “Okay, so just tell me. I’m going crazy, and I think I’ve had enough coffee to make it through whatever it is you’re about to say.”
Ryan tried to draw a steadying breath. He laced her fingers through his and settled in. “All right, but please know how sorry I am about every single stupid thing I did. I was an idiot, and I just kept screwing up. I don’t blame you if you hate me, but Sienna, I do need you to know that I am now and have always been in love with you.”
Sienna’s eyes goggled. Wow. The “L” word. No hesitation. She hadn’t used that word in ten years. She hadn’t felt the emotion for the same length of time. “I kind of think I might need to wait until the end of this story to tell you that again.”
A deep, wounded pain etched his chiseled face. “Yeah, I get that.” He choked and then blew out a long drawn breath. “Might as well start at the beginning, I guess.” Ryan continued to put off the inevitable. Stop being a coward. “Okay, so you remember how bad I sucked at school? I barely passed much of anything except Shop.”
Sienna nodded. She did recall him getting into trouble over his grades. She just didn’t know what that had to do with her.
“And you know that my parents kind of had my life all planned out from the moment I was born. I never really had much say. I think the ballsiest thing I ever did was quit the track team without their permission. Anytime I tried to do anything that wasn’t exactly what they wanted, they threatened to take my car, privileges, anything involving money of any kind. They lorded it over me, and I guess I just went along with it. It was easier that way.”
Regret so deep it appeared as visible pain slumped Ryan’s entire body. What on earth had his parents done to him? She thought her mother was bad.
“Anyway, I got off the phone that night with you, the last time we talked.” Emotion cinched his throat like a noose, and Sienna couldn’t stand it. She leaned and brushed a tender kiss along his jaw. She wanted him to stop making himself hurt. In that moment, before she’d even heard half the story, she knew that she’d already forgiven Ryan no matter what it was he’d done.
He brought her hand to his mouth and whispered a kiss against her knuckles. “I’m trying not to be a complete pussy and break down in front of you, but I may have to stop talking every now and then. It’s been a lot lately.” His confession was weighted with harrowing fear and deep regret.
“Ryan, it’s okay. I mean, I believe you love me and that you always did.” She wasn’t certain that she did completely believe that, but she couldn’t be the reason he cried. She just couldn’t.
“No, it’s not okay. It’s all my fault, and I’m going to tell you everything. I owe you an explanation.”
With another deep exhalation he began again. “That night, my parents took my cell phone and destroyed it, and my mother had one of her hissy-fits about my grades. They blamed you. Said I was spending all my time thinking about you and not focusing on school. That part was probably true, but I wouldn’t have been able to pass with or without you. Having you in my life was the only thing that made me want to go on, though. They never seemed to get that.”
Sienna felt her own tears prick her eyes. She squeezed his hand and willed him strength.
“So, uh, I kept trying to sneak around and call you, but my mother was relentless. She practically slept in my room. When that didn’t work, I decided that I’d drive to Norfolk and find your mom and stepdad’s house somehow. I snuck out enough times that they reported my car as being stolen. I got arrested three times, and never even made it to the Georgia line. My dad always dropped the charges, but they had the entire fucking Georgia State police department on their side.”
“Oh, my gosh!” she gasped in absolute shock. For all of her mother’s derision and lack of caring, she wouldn’t have done that.
“Anyway, I was determined that I was going to be at the beach the day after graduation, just like we’d planned. A friend of mine agreed to sell me his old truck, but the only time I could’ve gotten out was during my graduation ceremony while my parents were up in the stands oblivious to what was really going on. I had it all planned out; I was going to slip out of the line before we marched in. I figured I had a few hours before they got to the M’s and my absence was noticed, but then I failed English and couldn’t graduate.
“When that happened, my parents went ape-shit. They took me to summer school every day, and my mother would sit in the parking lot until I got out. She’d drive me home, and I wasn’t allowed out of the house until they drove me to Athens that fall. By then, I half convinced myself that you’d never forgive me for not showing up and not calling.
“But I did try. John’s a year older than me, and he was my big brother in our frat. I didn’t rush or anything. My dad was big in Sigma Chi. I had to be, too.” Ryan rolled his eyes. His lip curled in disdain. “Anyway, I talked John into driving to the beach one weekend just before we got out for Christmas break. I came here, and Nana said that your mom had made you go to some women’s college. She wouldn’t tell me where or give me your number. She was understandably furious that I’d done you the way I did you, so she highly advised against me looking for you.”
Sienna’s hand flew over her mouth in shock. Why hadn’t Nana ever told her that? “Oh, my gosh! Did she throw shoes at you?”
Ryan’s laughter filled the truck and her heart. “Yes, she did. She also cursed me, but I totally deserved it. Now that I think about it, that may be how my life go so fucked up after that.”
Whenever someone came near the Inn that Nana didn’t care for, she had a habit of throwing old shoes and curses their way.
“Anyway, I guess I got really, really depressed. I wasn’t doing any better in college than I had in high school. My Dad was furious. I was supposed to join his investment firm, and I could barely add, much less calculate compound interest on stocks.
“I drank all day every day, Sienna. I tried to drink away the pain of not having you. I was drunk for two solid years. A complete disaster. I did a lot of things I regret during those two years, and now I don’t drink very often, and nothing more than a single beer or one glass of wine. I lost too much in liquor. I made too damn many mistakes. I was a disaster, and I convinced myself that you’d never take me back. You definitely deserved better than I was right then, anyway.
“So, like I said, my parents were furious, and my mother is ever
under the impression that she knows how everyone should live their lives, so she stepped in again. She cooked up a plan with my old man and with Alexa’s parents. They were all old friends from the driving club.”
“Is Alexa…?”
“She’s my ex.” Ryan shuddered involuntarily. “She also makes Satan’s hellhounds look like Lassie, but I was too drunk to notice back then.”
“Uh, we started dating per my parents’ orders. And about six months in, she showed up at my apartment, wearing an engagement ring my mother gave her, and…” he stopped abruptly. He didn’t know how she was going to react.
“And…” Sienna was frantic. What else could possibly have happened to him?
He took his eyes off the road and met her concerned stare.
“Please tell me.” She squeezed his hand again and gave him one of those smiles that he would never deserve.
He nodded and drew a deep breath. “And she told me that she was pregnant. She lied to me about being on the pill, and got pregnant on the sly.”
Stone cold shock froze Sienna’s features. She couldn’t seem to speak, and Ryan desperately needed her to say something.
The tears he’d fought for so long welled in his eyes. He clenched his jaw, desperate to keep them locked away by the might of his teeth. “Please say something,” he finally begged.
“Wow,” she managed in a barely audible whisper.
“It gets worse,” he admitted.
“Worse than tricking you into having a kid?”
Of all the scenarios Sienna had imagined in the last ten years as to what on earth might’ve happened to him, nothing compared to the reality he’d been living.