by Jillian Neal
“Yeah, much worse.” He sighed. “I went insane. Told my old man that I hated him and my mother and threatened to end it all. They certainly couldn’t have a son that committed suicide. I mean, what would the Piedmont Driving Club think of that? So, they made me a deal. If I agreed to marry Alexa, I got to drop out of school, and my Dad would finance my construction company. I told myself that was the best I was ever going to get, that you were long gone and deserved someone so much better than me. All I’d wanted to do since before I finished high school was build things, so I opened the business and tried to ignore Alexa as much as I could. Not an ideal marriage, but I was as happy as I felt like I deserved to be.”
“So, you have a kid? Like a little kid?” Sienna just couldn’t wrap her head around Ryan being a father.
“Yeah, her name is Evie. And I know this is an insane story, but she’s all I’ve been living for, Sienna. That’s who we’re going to get.”
When he said her name, every abhorrent wrong that had marred his handsome face a moment before seemed to ease. But Sienna still had no idea what this meant for her and Ryan.
“Anyway, my parents were very accustomed to being one of the wealthiest families in Atlanta. There was nowhere that they went that the red carpet wasn’t rolled out for their arrival. I never wanted any of that, but Alexa loved it. She and my parents were thick as thieves, and Evie and I just did the best we could. So, fast forward a few years, and the stock market crashed. My company held on. I’d actually managed to make a name for myself, and I was still getting big contracts. The only problem was that I’d never legally separated my company from my old man’s. And when his clients were out of money and no one was investing, he got greedy. My mother had to have her new Lincoln every fucking year, after all.” Ryan’s sneer was laced with fury. It was almost hatred. Sienna didn’t want him to feel that way about his family.
“So, your dad…”
“Was arrested for fraud and embezzlement. His company became property of the great state of Georgia, and my company with it. Eventually, my name was cleared. My Dad did testify that I had no idea what was going on. I sold off everything to pay his bail and most of their debts. He got off with an ankle bracelet for a year, but Alexa wasn’t going to stick around while my family went down. When stores started denying her charge cards and her checking account was overdrawn, she left.”
“I’m really sorry, Ryan.”
He turned to Sienna shocked at her apology. “Well, don’t be sorry she left. That’s the only good part of this whole shitty tale.” He winked at her and somehow elicited her adorable grin.
“Evie and I moved into my parent’s pool house, and just when I thought maybe I could figure out a way to actually start over and make a better life, they came and took my baby girl away. Alexa figured out that whoever had primary custody of Evie got her as a tax deduction, and that if she had her that I would have to pay most everything I make in child support for the next fourteen years. So, that’s why I’m not divorced. That’s the one line of the decree I refuse to sign. I will not lose my daughter, Sienna. I can’t. I cannot let that bitch raise her. So, Evie is the major complication here, but it makes me sick to think of her like that. I guess I’m asking if you think you could get to know Evie, and maybe share me with her, sort of. If you want?”
Sienna tried to force her mouth to move. She’d never heard Ryan sound so terrified. She couldn’t believe what had happened to him. She couldn’t believe that Nana never told her he’d come by. Nana and that temper and that damn Gypsy blood. Ugh!
“I… I… love you, Ryan. I always have, but I don’t want Evie to have to share you at all. I grew up with a mom than never wanted me around. I don’t want to be in the way with you and her.”
Ryan swallowed back another round of tears. “Evie is growing up with a mom that doesn’t ever want her around. Alexa took off for Paris this morning and dumped my baby girl at John’s. As long as Evie knows that you want her there when she’s with us, then she’ll be fine. That’s all kids really want to know — that they’re loved and wanted. That’s how it’s supposed to work. I know you don’t know her yet, but maybe someday you could love her, too.”
Sixteen
Sienna sank back against the seat and tried to see into the future. She tried to imagine what Ryan’s little girl might look like. She tried to discern if she could help him take care of a child. She was just kind of getting used to making adult decisions herself. “Ryan, I don’t know anything at all about kids. I might screw everything up.”
“Hey, I’ll be there with both of you the entire time, and Evie’s pretty easy. You will probably have to watch Frozen more than any human being should ever be forced to, but if you’re willing to just give us a try, I’ll help you do anything at all.”
Sienna laughed. “Well, I do own the blu-ray copy, and I may have belted out ‘Let it Go’ more than once in the shower.”
Her ability to make Ryan laugh made some of the mind-boggling fear evaporate from her soul. Her mind was still spinning, though. She had no idea what to do with a four-year old. She tried to remember being four. She had a few recollections of kindergarten, but not much before getting sent to time-out for sticking her tongue out at her teacher when she’d informed Sienna that her coloring had to stay in the lines.
Another part of his story trickled back through her consciousness. “Can I ask you something?”
He changed lanes and then studied her. “Of course.”
“Why did your parents always hate me so much, and are they going to be okay with us, with this?” She gestured her hand between them.
“My parents have had several generous helpings of crow pie as of late.”
Sienna’s brow knitted tightly, and Ryan gave her another one of those heart stopping grins. “Sorry, in Norfolk they probably eat humble pie. Crow’s probably a deep South thing.”
Sienna laughed, but she definitely wasn’t looking forward to seeing the McNamaras anytime soon.
“The point of that whole stupid story that was my life is that I don’t give a damn what my parents want or what they think anymore. They know they screwed me over big time. They don’t want to accept you, then they can watch me take their only granddaughter and walk away. I don’t owe them anything else. I’ve given them my entire livelihood, my blood, my sweat, and an ocean full of tears, so they can take or leave it. I’m done.”
“Is John going to make sure that you get Evie? How are you going to keep Alexa away?”
“John’s doing his best. Taking custody away from the mother is pretty rare so I’m fighting an uphill battle, but I’ll never stop fighting for her. Alexa dumping her this morning is just one thing on a long list of mistakes that will be thrown in her face in court. I’ll even pay her monthly, as long as I can still afford to take care of Evie, just to get Alexa to walk away. It’s a disaster, and I’ll never have the kind of money that I had before, Sienna. I can’t give Evie or you much of a life, certainly nothing like what I had growing up. I mean, if you ever wanted to consider having a life with me.”
The humility and the fear that haunted his words touched the deepest wells of her heart. She swallowed down another round of tears and prayed that somehow he would get to keep his little girl, but she wasn’t leaving him. To the bitter end, he wasn’t going to have to fight for her. She couldn’t guarantee him Evie, but she could promise him her love from then on.
“I think what you said was right, Ryan. All Evie or I really need is to know that we’re loved and that we’re wanted.”
Letting the implication of her words flood through him like a healing balm, Ryan was finally able to draw a full breath. “Well, I love both of you more than life itself, and if I can somehow get to keep both of you, then everything I’ve been through will have been worth it.”
Aware that she was more than willing to stand right there beside him, Sienna was too afraid to even imagine what would become of Ryan McNamara if his ex-wife managed to take his little girl away from h
im. She’d never hated someone she’d never even met before, until that moment.
“Ryan, you have me, and I want to help you get Evie, too.”
That did it. All of the terror he’d tried for so long to manage inside the ample musculature of his body broke free from the fissures of his heart. His body convulsed against his own fierce commands, and tears poured from his eyes. “Thank you,” he managed in a heartbroken vow.
“What does Evie look like?” Sienna didn’t know why she cared. It certainly didn’t matter, though if she took after her daddy she was probably gorgeous. She was trying to ward off the initial shock of meeting his child, she thought.
Ryan drove his thumb and fingers into his eyes to halt the tears. He wiped away the remaining ones and dug his cell phone out of his pocket. “She’s the only thing I ever take pictures of. I don’t want to forget one single thing. You know, in case…” He choked on the terrorizing fear again.
Heartbroken from his reasoning, Sienna took the phone and began flipping through pictures of Ryan and Evie at the zoo, at the park, in the swimming pool, and hanging out on the couch. As an anecdote to the pain of it all, she laughed hysterically when she got to a shot of Ryan complete with a princess crown, painted fingernails, play make-up, and jewelry with Evie beaming beside him.
He joined her laughter at his own expense. “Probably should take that one off my phone, at least.”
Sienna shook her head. “You’re an awesome Dad, Ryan. Really.”
“I sure as hell try.”
Still attempting to keep her nerves at bay, Sienna studied the Atlanta skyline in the afternoon sunlight. “It’s really pretty.”
Ryan considered her perspective. Atlanta was a beautiful city. It had lost a little of its appeal as of late, but he shouldn’t blame Alexa and his parent’s mistakes on the city that had raised him, he supposed.
“Yeah, it has its perks, but I really prefer a little eclectic Gypsy beach town, I think.”
“Yeah, me, too.” Sienna beamed up at him, and Ryan had no idea how he’d managed to make such a thing possible, but he drank in every soft sigh, every grin, and every giggle that she proffered him on their journey.
After they’d sat in endless lunch-hour traffic, Sienna sighed. “The traffic kinda sucks, though.”
Ryan laughed and nodded his agreement. Soon enough, they were headed up 400 and into the pretentious neighborhood of Buckhead, where everyone who was anyone wanted to live. Ryan and Alexa’s old house was just a few streets over from the condominium where John resided.
Before she knew it, Ryan was pulling through a grand wrought iron gate that had opened when he entered a code. Her eyes goggled at the posh complex. They passed two pools and tennis courts on the way to John’s building.
At seventeen, the knowledge that Ryan’s family had a lot of money was very abstract. He never acted stuck up, so she never thought much of it. She tried to use her best manners when she was around his parents, but it seemed she always fell short of the mark.
She was still lost in her ponderings when she followed Ryan’s lead and slid out of the truck. He wrapped his arm around her and led her onto an elevator. Before he could knock on the slick black door, it flew open and the little girl from the pictures on his phone seemed to materialize from thin air.
“Daddy!” She raced into his arms, and he lifted her up and squeezed her tightly. Sienna beamed. The love between them filled the very air around her.
“Hey, baby girl.” Ryan didn’t seem to want to let her go, even though she’d pulled away to smile at him.
“John said I could dress myself, and I wanted to wear this shirt, and this shirt, and my tights and my skirt, and my Elsa panties and my Belle panties, and my purple socks, and my boots, and all of my necklaces. John helped me with my boots.” She pointed out each of the shirts she’d pulled on, one long sleeved under a short sleeved t-shirt, along with a dozen necklaces made of plastic beads. Sienna swooned. Nothing she’d put on matched, but Sienna had never seen anything more beautiful. She had blonde hair and dark brown eyes. Her peaches and cream complexion must’ve come from her mother, but her features were all Ryan’s. Sienna didn’t have to get to know her. She loved her right then.
“You look beautiful, baby. I want to introduce you to someone, okay?” Ryan studied his daughter. She gave him an exuberant nod. Sienna doubted she ever denied her Daddy much of anything.
“Evie Grace, this is my friend, Sienna.”
Evie gave Sienna one of her broad beaming grins. “Hi, Sienna, my name is Evie Grace McNamara, and I’m four years old. Mommy says that I can only wear my one fancy necklace that matches my outfits, but Daddy always says I can wear all of my princess necklaces if I want to because I love them. And I like all of your necklaces, too.”
Sienna leaned and brushed a kiss on Evie’s rosy cheek. “Well, I think your Daddy is really, really smart.”
“I think so, too!” Evie seemed very pleased with Sienna’s proclamation. She gave Ryan another fierce hug. “And I get to go to the beach with you, and I don’t have to go back to mommy’s house for a long time.” The hopeful light that beamed from her entire little body cut Sienna to the quick. Another round of tears played just behind Ryan’s eyes as he managed a nod.
“That’s right, baby. You get to come back to the beach with Daddy and Sienna, I promise.”
John had joined them at the door. He was staring at Sienna like he couldn’t quite believe she was real. He extended his hand. “You’re Sienna? Like the Sienna? This is the Sienna?” He turned to Ryan for the last question.
Ryan laughed. “The one and only.” He reached back and wrapped Sienna’s hand up in his left while he carried Evie in his right arm.
Sienna tried not to gawk at John’s condo in complete bewilderment. Evie didn’t seem to think there was anything odd about the sheer size of her godfather’s home. She wiggled down from Ryan’s arms and grasped Sienna’s hand. “Daddy got me an Elsa doll. Come on! I’ll show you!” When she tried to walk she tugged at her many layers of clothing to maneuver around the wad of cloth between her legs, giving her the appearance of being slightly bowlegged.
Ryan chuckled. “Evie, baby, come to the restroom with Daddy. I think maybe we should wear the Elsa panties today and the Belle panties later, and let’s pull your tights up so you can walk, okay?” Evie screwed her face up in consideration, but finally nodded and let Ryan carry her to the bathroom.
“I’m sorry I keep staring at you. I just can’t believe you’re here. Did he know you were gonna be back at Gypsy Beach? Is that where you met back up after all these years? Did you plan this?”
Sienna noted the inquisition in John’s tone. He was very good looking, but there was a lethal edge to John, one she was certain probably came out in the courtroom.
“Uh, no, I’d just moved back. It was a complete coincidence.” There is no such thing as a coincidence, Sienna Rose. Sienna glanced around the massive great room, filled with bookshelves, mildly concerned that she wasn’t the only one that had heard Nana’s echoed voice.
John glanced down the hallway where Ryan had carried Evie. “Look, I’m not sure how long the panty situation will take him to fix, but I gotta tell you, he’s been in love with you forever. He drank himself stupid over you. He’s been a disaster for years. I swear, I’m not trying to be an asshole or anything, but he’s my best friend. I love him like a brother. I don’t want to see him get hurt like this ever again. Alexa nearly killed him. If you’re planning on breaking his heart just because he was a stupid kid and never showed up at the beach that summer, please, just don’t. I don’t think he’ll survive another blow like that.”
Sienna supposed she should have been offended, but she found herself deeply appreciative of the fact that John cared so much about Ryan.
“I know everything that happened. I know how horrible Alexa is, and I promise I have no intention of breaking his heart.”
Her deep sincerity seemed to convince him. He nodded his relief. “I’
m an attorney, so I’ve seen it all. I guess I’m a little jaded.”
Before Sienna could assure him again, Ryan and Evie returned. Evie appeared to be moving with more ease. She danced her way into what looked like a gourmet kitchen nearby. Ryan was carrying a tiny, folded pair of Beauty and the Beast panties, a pair of pink knit pajama shorts, and a pair of teal tights in his hand.
“This might be why four is a little young for dressing herself,” he chastised John.
“Hey, Alexa’s always bitching at her about what she wears. She’s a kid, let her wear fifteen pairs of pants if she wants.”
“Thank you for watching her,” Ryan conceded. “There’s just one thing I need to ask you about before we get out of your hair.” He pulled the paperwork, such as it was, that Roby had thrust in Sienna’s face from his bag and handed it to John. “Guy’s making a claim on the Inn Sienna’s grandmother owned and operated for years. The Inn she just inherited and intends to open come Memorial Day. The Inn I’ve been redoing for her.”
John came to the diner napkin that bore Ted Roby and Nana’s signature and he sighed. “Seen this before. You’d be shocked how often this happens. Do you have a deed at all, Sienna?”
“Well, they thought the original deed must’ve been destroyed, so they made me a new deed when I paid off the taxes on the Inn, but that man says he has the original.”
Ryan’s stomach churned. He recognized that look in John’s eye and the slight tensing of his shoulders that said this could be trouble.
“Okay, you get Miss Evie off to the beach. I will look into this, and I’ll either give you a call this weekend or I’ll head up there. Ryan, you need to photograph everything you touch. Take before and after shots to show that you’re making improvements on the hotel and that she hired you to care for it. That will go a long way if this ends up in court. I’ll let you know what I find out.”
“Thank you for doing that for me.” Sienna decided that the small part of John that she found so intimidating might work well for her if Ted Roby pushed this ridiculous thing much further.