Like This And Like That

by Nia Stephens

  “Think this is dry?” Maria asked, holding out her foot toward Gemma.

  Gemma lightly tapped Maria’s toenail and checked her finger. No smears. “Yup.”

  “Cool,” Maria said. “Then let’s get online. Maybe you’ll find a date for this weekend.”

  “Sounds like a plan.” Gemma swung around in her chair and flicked on the computer. Her fingers hovered above the keyboard. She felt a strange mixture of anticipation and apprehension. “Is this crazy?” she asked Maria.

  “What’s crazy is a hottie like you going dateless. Now start typing!”

  “You’re right,” Gemma declared, turning back to the screen. “Time to go shopping!”

  Gemma filled out the profile information and then clicked the join now button. The girls looked at each other, sat back and waited for the computer to make the selections. Is my perfect guy in there? Gemma wondered. Her heart sped up a little.

  Slowly, four names with active links appeared.

  “Here we go!” Maria said.

  Gemma clicked on the first name. “Huh. No photo,” she said as a new window opened.

  “Uh-oh, dude must reside in ugly town,” Maria said.

  “Let me check out his written profile before we kick him to the curb.”

  CHOICE #1

  Name: Drew

  Age: 17

  Birthplace: Orange County

  Height: 5’11

  Weight: 185 lbs

  Likes: Romantic poetry.

  My lady’s presence makes the roses red, Because to see her lips they blush for shame. The lily’s leaves, for envy, pale became, And her white hands in them this envy bred. The marigold the leaves abroad doth spread, Because the sun’s and her power is the same. The violet of purple colour came. Dyed in the blood she made my heart to shed. In brief: all flowers from her their virtue take; From her sweet breath their sweet smells do proceed; The living heat which her eyebeams doth make Warmeth the ground and quickeneth the seed. The rain, wherewith she watereth the flowers, Falls from mine eyes, which she dissolves in showers. —Henry Constable

  I am looking for a girl who loves to be treated right—someone I can pamper and spoil. I want to be a knight in shining armor, a swashbuckling hero. Ladies should be treated like ladies, and chivalry should not be dead, IMHO.

  To me I look like: Not sure.

  “Hey, I like this one,” Maria said. “I think Manny could take some lessons in being a gentleman from this guy.”

  Gemma frowned. “He sounds okay ... but it’s like he’s trying too hard to impress. And what’s with the poem?”

  “What’s wrong with the poem?” Maria demanded. “It shows he’s no dummy. He can actually read.”

  “Let’s just check out the next one,” Gemma suggested. She returned to her main selections and clicked on the link for guy number two.

  CHOICE #2

  Name: Dan

  Age: 18

  Birthplace: Laguna Beach

  Height: 6’3

  Weight: 225 lbs

  Likes: I paint every day. It’s all about seeing, and then sharing what you see with the world. I have been accepted to USC on a full art scholarship and have had several gallery showings of my paintings. I like a girl who is confident in herself. I paint nude models to capture a person’s essence, and I don’t like the distractions of remedial “body art” like piercings or tattoos. I also prefer a girl who loves to read as opposed to watching reality television all day long.

  To me I look like: Omarion

  Gemma glanced back at her friend, who was peering over her right shoulder. “Sounds good, but I have a question. Does this mean he has a bunch of nudie pictures of girls lying around?”

  “Who said anything about girls?” Maria said, laughing. “He just says he likes to paint nude models. There could be a bunch of pictures of nude men. Maybe he’s on the down low.”

  “I didn’t think of that!” Gemma exclaimed.

  When Maria saw the concerned expression on Gemma’s face, she quickly recanted. “Chill out, chica. I was only kidding. It says right there that he prefers a girl that is confident. Relax, will ya?”

  “Check out that picture, though,” Gemma told Maria. Dan’s picture was some sort of abstract drawing. Gemma could barely make out his face. “Just like Drew. No way to know what the guy looks like.”

  “Leave it up to ze artiste to post ze crap picture,” Maria said.

  Gemma shook her head and turned back to the screen.

  “Next!” Maria screamed in Gemma’s ear. Gemma hit the next link. Slowly the picture loaded. Both girls’ jaws hung low as the photo came into focus.

  CHOICE #3

  Name: Ethan

  Age: 18

  Birthplace: Laguna Beach

  Height: 6’1”

  Weight: 220 lbs

  I am looking for a girl who enjoys sports as much as I do. I frequent salsa clubs because I love to dance although I’m

  not the best at it. I am, however, a quick study and would love to learn. I am a power forward for a HS basketball team and considered one of the best in the league (I’m not bragging, my record tells all). I’m looking for someone who likes to work hard as well as play hard. I am into sports all year round and work out six days a week so if you can keep up, let’s hang out.

  To me I look like: the singer Chris Brown

  “I don’t believe it.” Gemma murmured, staring at the screen. Ethan Jackson posted his profile on a dating site? Not possible. And not only that, the computer picked him out as a good match for her.

  “This is it!” Maria shouted again.

  Irritated, Gemma whipped her head around. “Would you stop yelling in my ear, please?” Gemma turned back to gaze at Ethan’s photo. “And if you please, do not have chili cheese fries for lunch,” she added.

  Maria punched her on the shoulder. “Don’t you get it?” she squealed. “This could be a sign. Out of all the guys in this county, the computer picks Ethan Jackson for you.”

  Gemma nodded. “You have a good point there, my friend. The only thing is, I’m on this site to get away from dogs. Isn’t he the biggest one of them all?”

  “Touché,” Maria said. “But remember, those may be just rumors. Next profile.”

  CHOICE #4

  Name: Christopher

  Age: 19

  Birthplace: California

  Height: 5’11

  Weight: 200 lbs

  Likes: Surfing all day long

  I like a hot girl that looks good in a bikini. If she doesn’t surf, she must be willing to learn. I’m not into games, I like a laid-back life, and going with the flow—and the waves.

  To me, I look like: Eminem and Justin Timberlake

  The girls looked at each other, surprised to see a blond, blue-eyed surfer-type pop up.

  “But he’s white,” Gemma announced.

  “Good observation, Sherlock. Did you deduce that from the big color photo attached to his profile?”

  “You know what I mean,” Gemma said.

  “Yeah, but hot always outweighs race,” Maria said. “Besides, he looks like Justin Timberlake with longer hair. And you know you love you some Justin.”

  Gemma cocked her head to the side, peering at the photo. He did kind of resemble Justin. “That’s the final one,” she announced. “And I think the choices are pretty good.”

  Gemma saved the page in her Favorites, and clicked off the computer. Maria plopped back down onto Gemma’s bed and propped her feet up against the wall again.

  “So who’s it going to be—Drew, Dan, Ethan or Christopher?”

  Gemma thought for a minute. “Good question.”

  “Drew sounds nice,” Maria said. “Totally unlike the previous jerks you’ve run into lately.”

  “True,” Gemma conceded. “But there’s something about his profile that makes me feel like he’s working too hard.”

  “What’s wrong with trying to impress the ladies with how well he’s going to treat them?” Maria argued. “Still,
he could be a total bow-wow. No picture, not even a hint about who he resembles.”

  “Though you did say I have to stop being swayed by the guy’s looks,” Gemma pointed out.

  “Dan didn’t give you much to go on there, either,” Maria said. “There’s a reason Picasso didn’t get hired to do passport pictures. The subjects don’t look anything like their portraits!”

  “It might be nice to be with a guy who is into art. He doesn’t come across like a thug wannabe,” Gemma mused. “But how do I act around a guy like that?”

  “Confident,” Maria said. “It says so right in his profile.”

  “How do I act confident with a guy who has such different interests?” Gemma worried.

  Maria shrugged. “So then what about Ethan? You’d know exactly how to work that scene.”

  “Maybe too well.” Gemma sighed. “Might be a matter of been there, done that. He might turn out to be another Nick Simmons.”

  “But he is sooooooooo hot,” Maria said.

  “Quit drooling,” Gemma said, laughing. “I’m not denying his utter, complete hotness. But you know how I feel about basketball players—they’re all high on themselves. And what if it doesn’t work out? We go to the same school. It could get awkward. And he did go out with Angela Rattner.”

  “Oooh, you’re right,” Maria said. “That doesn’t speak so well of him.”

  “Though it’s possible they did break up,” Gemma said. “Maybe he came to his senses. Unless,” she added, “Angela dumped him.”

  “So what about the surfer dude?” Maria suggested. “He doesn’t go to J. Marshall, he hasn’t dated anyone you know, he has a killer bod, is really athletic and is totally cute.”

  “And we may have absolutely nothing in common,” Gemma said. “I’ve never gone out with a white guy.”

  Maria raised an eyebrow. “You said you wanted someone different from the guys you’ve dated before.”

  “True. But is Christopher too different?”

  Maria grinned. “Only one way to find out!”

  “This is hard,” Gemma complained. “They all have good points but they also all have strikes against them.”

  “Gee. You mean like all people?” Maria said. “Nobody’s one hundred percent perfect. Come on, make a decision and let’s get this party started.”

  IF GEMMA PICKS DREW THE GENTLEMAN,

  read on.

  IF GEMMA CHOOSES ARTSY DAN,

  turn to page 83.

  IF GEMMA DECIDES ON ATHLETIC ETHAN,

  go to page 135.

  IF GEMMA PICKS CHRISTOPHER, THE SURFER DUDE,

  skip to page 193.

  Chapter 4

  The Gentleman Gangsta

  “The poem is pretty romantic,” Gemma admitted. Definitely a creative approach,” Maria concurred. “A little mysterious.”

  “But what about the lack of a picture?” Gemma wondered.

  “You never know,” Maria told her. “This guy could look like the next top model.”

  “Or he could look like Dave Chappelle on crack,” Gemma joked.

  “Dave Chappelle looks like Dave Chappelle on crack,” Maria commented. “But don’t forget, Drew sounds like he’s looking for a sweet chica to spoil.”

  Gemma sighed. “It would be nice to find a guy who actually knew how to treat a girl like a lady. Okay, Drew it is!”

  Maria and Gemma spent the next half hour coming up with the perfect IM. She didn’t want to sound too eager, but she didn’t want to sound like she didn’t care if he replied.

  Cuteygirl writes: Hi Drew. Saw u on the site. Wanna c me 2? I’ve given u permission 2 read my profile.

  It only took Drew a few minutes to respond.

  DrewG writes: Greetings! Thank U 4 inviting me 2 view yr profile. U r beautiful.

  Gemma smiled.

  Cuteygirl writes: TU

  Drew asked all about her and what she liked. Not once did he go on and on about himself. That was a definite change from what she was used to. Then she remembered to ask him a question.

  Cuteygirl writes: What made u decide 2 sign up 4 this website?

  No response.

  Still no response.

  “Do you think I scared him off with that question?” Gemma worried.

  Maria shrugged. “Could be he’s embarrassed about it. But that would make him a total wimp. And it would be kind of insulting,” she added, “since you’re on it too!”

  “I didn’t think of that,” Gemma exclaimed. “Does this make me a loser?”

  “Not at all!” Maria insisted. “It makes you a go-getting female, totally empowered and unafraid to go after what she wants.”

  “Maybe ...” Gemma waited another full minute. “Forget this,” she said. She slid the cursor to the log out button.

  A message popped up.

  DrewG writes: Sorry, had 2 let the dog out. 2 answer ur ? my boy said I was moping around too much—lol. Just broke up a few weeks ago.

  Gemma looked over her shoulder at Maria. “He just broke up. Is this going to be a whiner?”

  Maria clapped her hands. “No, that’s good news. That means there’s at least one girl out there who finds him attractive.”

  “Found,” Gemma corrected. “They broke up, remember?”

  “Maybe he broke up with her.”

  “That makes no sense. Then why would he be moping around?”

  “We can analyze this all day long or you can IM him back and set up a date,” Maria said.

  Gemma turned her attention back to the computer screen.

  Cuteygirl writes: My friend told me 2 sign up 2.

  There was another lapse in IMs until finally his message popped up.

  DrewG writes: Glad u did.

  LeBron jumped up onto Gemma’s lap. He circled around a few times, getting in the way of Gemma’s computer.

  “LeBron, pick a spot,” she said. “I can’t see the screen!”

  “Oooh, you just wanna keep looking at his little smiley face,” Maria teased. “Do you think that’s what he looks like?” She reached over LeBron’s tail and tapped the emoticon with her newly painted fingertip.

  “Well, it would be better than Nick’s perpetual sneer,” Gemma replied.

  LeBron finally curled himself into a ball. Gemma reread all of the IMs and smiled. This could be exactly what I’ve been looking for, she thought happily.

  “Have you heard from Mr. Wonderful today?” Maria asked a few days later as they walked down the hall to calculus class.

  Gemma grinned. “Only about ten texts already.” She waggled her Sidekick under Maria’s nose.

  “Oooh, girl, lemme see!” Maria reached for Gemma’s Sidekick, but Gemma held it easily out of her reach.

  Maria crossed her arms over her ample chest and pouted. “No fair using your height to my disadvantage.”

  Before Gemma could respond, Taylor Collins, the six-foot center of their basketball team, walked up. Taylor was the only player in the county with a better record than Gemma’s. Like Gemma she had been accepted to USC on a full scholarship. “Good game the other night,” Taylor said. “Give me a call if you ever want to practice at the Y sometime.”

  Gemma nodded. “Thanks. I will.” After Taylor disappeared down the hall, Gemma turned back to her friend. “She’s the one with the height,” she told Maria. “And she always uses it to my disadvantage.” Although Taylor and Gemma were on the same team, they could get competitive when they weren’t playing against another school. With their well-matched skills, they kept each other on their toes.

  “So you know my pain,” Maria said with a laugh. “Now let me see your love notes!”

  “Okay, check these out.” She handed Maria her Sidekick. For the last few days, Drew had been texting and IMing her short messages like, just thinking about u and wish u were here. He sent her longer e-mails at home.

  “That’s cute, right?” Gemma asked, beaming.

  “That’s adorable,” Maria confirmed. “But when are you two going to actually have a f
ace-to-face?”

  Gemma shrugged. She wondered that herself. Between the lack of a photo and the lack of a date, Gemma couldn’t help thinking that maybe Drew was hiding something. Or wasn’t as into her as his messages implied. It didn’t make sense.

  After a stop at Maria’s locker, they headed to Gemma’s. As they rounded a corner they spotted Nick with a few of his teammates, throwing a football back and forth. “Oh great,” Gemma mumbled.

  “Pay that idiot no mind,” Maria said.

  As Gemma fumbled with her locker, one of the guys threw the football in her direction. It bounced once and landed at her feet. Nick ran up to retrieve it.

  “How ya doin’?” he asked.

  Gemma sighed and said, “Fine, Nick. You?” She decided to take the high road on this one.

  “Cool,” Nick said and shrugged.

  Gemma should have been furious with him because of that party fiasco. In fact, she should send him a bill for one ripped T-shirt. Instead she decided to just let it go. After all, she had Nick to thank for sending her to the website where she’d found Drew.

  Just then a guy in a brown uniform, carrying a huge bouquet of roses in a glass vase, rounded the corner. He stopped and stared down at the piece of paper in one of his hands.

  “Can you tell me where the office is?” he asked Nick. “I’m supposed to deliver these to someone named Gemma Williams, and I think the office is the only way—”

  “I’m Gemma Williams,” Gemma interrupted, confused. She stepped forward.

  The guy handed her the bouquet. “Then these are for you.”

  “Wow, they’re gorgeous!” Maria exclaimed.

  “They are beautiful,” her locker neighbor, Cindy Schull, said. “Now there’s a guy who knows how to treat a girl right.”