by A. M. Arthur
The bedroom door whipped open, and Gavin stumbled backward. He raised the bat like it was a tennis racket. The wide shape backlit in the doorway stood with hunched shoulders, clenched fists and danger in his eyes. Kai Hale was taller than him, with a good fifty pounds of muscle under flab, and the rapid-fire temper of a poked cobra. Gavin knew how fast his meaty hands could move and how hard they hit.
The obnoxious odor of raw onions mingled with the stink of bourbon, and Gavin nearly gagged.
Liquor + Kai = Bad News.
Suddenly the mysterious presence of a raw onion smell in the trailer over the last few days made sense. This wasn’t the first time Kai had broken into their place—but why? What the hell was he looking for? Rage began to overtake Gavin’s fear and squash his common sense right into the ground.
“Stay right the fuck there,” Gavin snarled.
“What are you gonna hit with that, boy?” Kai said. His deep voice was slurred, which only happened when he was an inch from totaled.
“Come at me and you’ll find out real quick.”
“You gonna hit your old man?”
“Repeatedly and with pleasure.”
Kai’s eyes widened a fraction then narrowed. “Where’s my wife?”
“Outside calling the police.”
“What the hell for?”
Gavin snorted. Was he serious? “Breaking and entering, trespassing, probably theft, depending on what they find in your pockets.”
“Trespassing?” He laughed long and loud, a horrible, grating sound. “Lucìa’s still my wife, and what’s hers is mine.”
Gavin hated the fact that Kai wouldn’t give his mother a divorce, which still granted him some legal rights. Just not the ones Kai thought. “Yeah, well, that’s why my name is on the lot lease, asshole. So you’re trespassing. I could probably shoot you dead and no one would care.”
Kai bristled. He came forward, entering the doorframe. Gavin shifted to get a better swing with the bat. Kai slammed one palm flat against the wall, rattling a picture hanging near Gavin’s head. He jumped and was immediately angry at himself for the instinctive reaction.
“I need to talk to Lucìa now! She’s hidden something of mine, and I need it back.”
“Like what? Your balls? Your fucking pride? Too late to get any of that back, Dad.”
For two hundred pounds of slob, Kai was crazy fast. Gavin’s back slammed into the wall before he registered the fist in his shirt, or the arm across his throat. He tried to swing the bat, but Kai’s knee came up and ground his wrist into the wall hard enough that he had to let go. The bat clattered to the floor.
“I don’t have time to deal with you, kid,” Kai growled, his breath hot puffs of overripe air. He pulled Gavin down as his knee came up, and the blow to his stomach knocked all the air from Gavin’s lungs.
He collapsed on the hallway carpet, eyes watering, lungs seizing. His chest and stomach ached, and he couldn’t breathe. Kai stalked down the hall toward the living room, screaming Mama’s name as he went. A trickle of air made it down Gavin’s windpipe and jumpstarted his lungs. Gasping for more oxygen, Gavin scrambled up and stumbled down the hall.
The front door was open. The Jeep horn blared. The plastic top and windows were up, but they wouldn’t stop Kai for long. Gavin charged outside and down the steps, his fury fueled by the sound of his mother screaming for help. Kai was yanking on the passenger door, yelling at her, demanding to know where something was.
Gavin didn’t think. He tackled.
He’d never been very good at football, so his tackle was terrible, but it got Kai on the ground and away from his mother. He counted it as a win, even though Kai flipped him off and onto his back like he was a stuffed animal. Gavin’s spine protested the gravel digging into it, and then his ribcage protested Kai’s weight settling onto it from above.
“Stupid fucking kid,” Kai said, his eyes wild in the light of approaching headlights. Headlights accented with swirling red and a siren. “Think you’re better than me. You’re exactly like me.”
“I’m nothing—” The fist that slammed into his face proved Gavin’s interrupted statement that he was nothing like Kai. His ears rang from the blow and his cheek blazed.
The sirens got louder. Mama was yelling. Kai said something, then his weight was gone.
Gavin blinked at the fuzzy stars above, unsure why he couldn’t focus. Someone rushed past him. Kai was shouting profanities. Then Mama was bending over him, her cheeks streaked with tears, saying his name over and over.
Sight and sound came rushing back, along with a cold wave of fear. He sat up and yanked her into a hug that made his throbbing face hurt even more. “Are you all right?” he asked.
“Yes, yes, I’m fine.” She clutched at his jacket, her plump body trembling.
Gavin tried to take in the scene around him—police car, uniformed officers, Kai on the ground being cuffed—but it didn’t make a lot of sense. He ignored it all and concentrated on comforting his mother.
They booked Kai for B&E, destruction of property, trespassing and assault. According to Detective Kramer, Kai lawyered up when Kramer tried to get him to tell what he’d been looking for. Mama insisted she didn’t know, said she’d swear to it on a stack of bibles. Gavin took it all in from behind a warming ice pack, which had turned his left cheek into an icicle. Every cop at the station seemed to take turns berating him for not staying inside the trailer and congratulating him for protecting his mother. He started nodding at everyone, no matter what they said.
Eventually their statements were taken and they were sent home. Kai wouldn’t be arraigned until morning, and the chances of him making bail were slim to none. For now, they were safe. Even so, Gavin triple-checked all the locks before they went to bed.
He lay awake for a while, listening to his mother cry quietly in her room while his face throbbed and his stomach ached from the knee he’d taken. So many thoughts tumbled around in his mind. He was thankful Kai hadn’t put a single finger on his mother tonight. He’d promised to kill the man if that ever happened, and Gavin kept his promises. He could be pushed to violence to protect the people he loved.
Maybe he was more like his father than he wanted to admit.
He wanted to call Jace to hear a comforting voice, but it was after midnight. Jace was probably sound asleep. Besides, the way the town gossip mill worked, news of Kai’s arrest would make it to Jace’s side of town by ten a.m., give or take.
Gavin startled out of a light doze by the jangling tone of his cell phone ringing. He fumbled for it from its place on his night table and nearly dropped it. Jace’s name lit up the screen. He stared at it a moment, dumbfounded, before hitting Talk.
“Jace?” he said.
“Actually, it’s Rachel.”
He stared at the shapes on his wall cast by his bedroom curtains, confused. “Is Jace all right?”
“I’m not sure. That’s why I stole his phone.”
“You stole his phone?”
“Borrowed it. He won’t notice.”
He sat up, his curiosity soaring. He’d already had the most bizarre day in history, so what was one more thing? “What’s going on?”
“I’m worried about Jace. Really worried.”
“Worried about what?”
“Does he ever eat at your house?”
“Food?”
“No, motor oil. Yes, food, Gavin, what the hell?”
“Sorry, I’m still catching up here.” He scrubbed a hand across his eyes, trying to think. It would be easier if his cheek didn’t hurt so much. “I mean, he talks about the food he’s eaten before he comes over.” He thought back to the veggie wrap at Mineo’s. “Not really, I don’t see him eat much.”
“Much or at all?”
“I don’t know, I haven’t really paid attention. But he’s lost weight since Thanksgiving.” A knot of dread tightened in his guts. “Doesn’t he eat at home?”
“Not much, if anything. He’s been like this since finals, and h
e won’t talk to me. I was hoping you knew what was going on.”
He knew Jace worried about coming out, and he worried about going back to school. Gavin couldn’t imagine those worries being so stressful that they’d make Jace stop eating. He remembered the way he’d devoured his plate of food at Thanksgiving, and then gone back for seconds. He’d snacked from various chip bowls at Casper’s party. What had happened to destroy such a healthy appetite?
“Gavin?”
“Sorry, I’m here.”
“Has he told you anything?”
He hesitated. Jace hadn’t asked him to keep it a secret, but it still felt like a betrayal. If Jace was hurting himself, even without doing it on purpose, then it was worth pissing him off. “I know he’s struggling with going back to school. He thinks college is a waste of time right now, and he wants to quit.”
Rachel was silent for a long time. “He wants to quit?”
“Yeah. He just doesn’t know how to tell your folks.”
“Or me, apparently.”
“He’s in a bad place right now, Rachel. He doesn’t want to disappoint your family by quitting school, and he doesn’t want to disappoint them again by telling everyone he’s gay.”
“He talks to you about this stuff?”
“Yes, he does.”
“You like him, don’t you?”
Gavin pictured Jace’s smiling face, and warmth spread inside. “Yeah, I do. A lot.”
“Then please, keep an eye on him. Don’t let him do anything stupid.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. Jace holds things in and lets them stay bottled up, until they can’t go anywhere except out. He’s always been like that, but this time he won’t tell me what’s upsetting him. He’s never shut me out like this.”
“I’ll do what I can.”
“Thank you.”
“Rachel, one question?”
“Sure.”
“Do you have his roommate’s contact info?”
“Ben? Yeah, I think so. Why?”
“You said Jace changed around finals. Maybe his roommate noticed too. He might have some insight. I’d call, but that might be weird.”
“Yeah, I guess it might.” Rachel sighed, her exhaustion plain even over the phone. “I’ll call him tomorrow.”
“Let me know what he says?”
“Sure. Thanks, Gavin.”
“No problem. Take care of our boy.”
“I will if he lets me.”
Gavin put his phone down. He felt like an idiot for not seeing what was right in front of him. He’d known Jace was acting differently from Thanksgiving—moody, short-tempered, generally ill. Had he ignored it because he didn’t want to see the problems? Maybe. He tended to see what he wanted to see, which had often led him straight into trouble’s open arms.
Not this time. He was walking into this with his eyes wide open. He’d help Jace whether he wanted him to or not. He cared about Jace too damn much to watch him suffer in silence.
11
Jace managed to drag himself out of bed long enough to take a shower and change his clothes. Energy spent, he curled up in his papasan, plugged in his earbuds, and dozed off to the music of Earth, Wind, and Fire. His limbs felt like lead, his head hurt, and he couldn’t find his cell phone to call Gavin. Gavin was the only person he really wanted to talk to, anyway.
No one in his family received that memo, though, because a soft knock on his door came right before it swung open. Not one, but both of his parents came inside. Mom had a steaming mug of something in her hands, and she watched him like he might disappear in a puff of smoke. Dad flanked her, his expression weird and hard to decipher.
“How are you feeling, honey?” Mom asked. She put the mug down on the edge of his dresser, and he caught a whiff of ginger tea.
“Tired,” he replied, which was the God’s honest truth.
“Do you feel up to some dry toast?”
“Maybe later.” The idea of putting anything in his stomach made his toes curl. Something else hit him like a fist to the gut. “Dad, why aren’t you at work?”
His father sat down on the corner of the bed, hands clenched in his lap. Alarm bells went off in Jace’s head. “I took a sick day,” Dad replied. Jace finally placed the look on his face too—unconcealed worry.
“You’re not sick,” Jace said dumbly.
“No, but you are. I used to take off when you were sick as a kid. Do you remember that?”
He shrugged, vaguely recalling a few times when his dad would take him to the doctor for a sore throat because Mom couldn’t get out of work. “It’s nothing. It’ll pass. You didn’t have to take off work because I barfed once.”
“Was it only once?”
Jace’s skin prickled and he felt hot all over. “Did Rachel say something to you? I swear, she has the biggest damn mouth—”
“Jace!” Mom said. “This isn’t about your sister, it’s about you. Honey, we’ve all noticed that you haven’t been eating much since you got home. You haven’t been yourself, and we’re worried about you.”
He glanced at the open bedroom door beyond them. He could make a break for it, but he didn’t have the energy to do more than fall onto the floor. He’d look like a baby, and he wasn’t going to make himself a bigger disappointment than necessary.
“I’m going to ask you a question, son, and I want you to be honest with me,” Dad said.
“Fine.”
He leaned forward. “Are you on drugs?”
Jace snorted laughter, a little relieved that his father was so clueless. “No, Dad, I’m not on drugs. I’ve never even smoked pot.”
His parents shared a look. They’d obviously come to the drugs conclusion together, and now he’d dashed their hopes of a pre-New Year’s Eve intervention.
“Look, I’m not on drugs, I don’t binge drink, and I don’t have an incurable disease, okay?” Unless you think being queer is a disease.
“Then what’s going on?” Dad threw his hands up, clearly frustrated that the conversation hadn’t gone as he’d expected. Typical. “Tell us what’s wrong so we can help.”
“There’s nothing wrong with me.”
“Clearly there is, Jace, or we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
“Fuck it all, I’m not sick, okay?” He lurched out the chair so fast it tipped over and crashed into the wall. The room tilted a little, but he stayed upright. “I’m gay.”
Silence fell over his bedroom so fast he thought someone had stuck plugs in his ears. His parents stared at him with open mouths and wide eyes, and that was all Jace could take. He ran. Right out of his room, down the stairs so fast he nearly fell twice, and out the front door. He didn’t grab a coat, didn’t look for his cell, he just needed to get the hell out before he exploded.
And his heart broke a little bit when he realized no one was chasing after him.
When Rachel’s name lit up his cell phone that morning, Gavin didn’t expect her greeting to come in the form of, “Have you seen Jace?”
His stomach tumbled to his feet, and he was glad he was sitting on the couch, in the midst of tying his sneakers. He had more than enough energy for a run, but ibuprofen wasn’t doing anything for the persistent pain in his cheekbone, so he wasn’t really sure where he was headed yet. “No, I haven’t seen him, why? What happened?”
“Mom and Dad decided he was on drugs, and when that didn’t go over well, he blurted out that he wasn’t on drugs, he was gay, and then he ran off.”
“Why’d he run off?”
“I don’t know. Mom said he got really upset, blurted out he was gay, and while her and Dad were trying to process that, he left. By the time they followed, he wasn’t on the street, and I still have his cell. Dad’s driving around right now looking for him. Gavin, he doesn’t have his coat.”
“Okay, I’m heading out now. Call—”
“If we find him, yeah. You too.”
He hung up and finished lacing his shoes, panic starting to
set in. It was twenty degrees outside, easy, and Jace was running around upset, without his coat. Gavin grabbed his own winter coat off the tree, then took the hoodie he usually wore in warmer weather, just in case.
“Gavin?” Mama asked. She came out to the living room in her bathrobe, her face still sleep rumpled. Neither of them had been eager to attend the arraignment this morning, and Detective Kramer said their statements were enough to present to the judge. They’d both taken the opportunity to sleep in. “Is everything all right?”
“I’m not sure. If Jace comes by, call me. Please?”
“Of course, mijo. Be safe.”
“I will.”
Gavin threw himself into the Jeep. This was absolutely not the way Jace wanted to come out to his parents—any idiot could see that. And his parents had probably been too stunned by the admission to say anything, which would have fueled Jace’s fear that his parents would be disgusted or disappointed by the news.
Fear + Panic = Disaster.
He headed toward the other side of town using the most obvious path, praying with each quarter mile that he’d pass by Jace on the way. Once he got to the Ramseys’ neighborhood, he turned around and went back another way. For nearly an hour, he drove in circles, until his Jeep felt like a prison, and he needed to do something else. Anything else. So he pulled into the Ramseys’ empty driveway and rang the bell.
Rachel yanked open the front door, as upset as he’d ever seen her. She did a double take when she saw his face. “Nothing,” she said before he could ask. “Mom, Dad and Lauren went out to look, and we’ve called a few people so they can let us know if they see him.”
“What are you telling them?” Gavin asked as he stepped inside the warm house.
“We’re keeping it vague. Dad’s a cop, so he can get eyes out there without putting up a serious alarm, you know?”
“Right.”
“I should have told Mom and Dad to back off, but they’re so worried about him.”
“Parents worry. It’s their job.”
“I know, but our parents usually give us so much space that when they start to close ranks, it’s kind of stifling. We just can’t tell them some things.” The hitch in Rachel’s voice suggested another secret far removed from Jace’s sexuality that she was keeping from her parents.