by A. M. Arthur
Right now, he didn’t care. They needed to find Jace and make sure he was okay.
“What happened to your face, Gavin?”
“Long story.”
“Uh huh.”
He ignored her tone of voice. At this moment, he didn’t care how she thought he got the bruise. He had to find Jace—everything else came in a distant second. Jace hadn’t gone to Gavin’s house. If he wanted to be alone he’d stay away from familiar places like Dixie’s or Mineo’s. And he was on foot, so Carter’s Lake and other remote areas were out. Maybe he hadn’t gone as far as they—
“Damn,” he said.
Rachel gave him an alarmed look. “What?”
Gavin opened the hall closet door and yanked out the first thick coat he found. “Stay here a sec, I have an idea where he might be.”
“But—”
“Trust me, Rachel, I don’t want to spook him.”
“Fine.”
He felt her glare on the back of his head as he ran into the kitchen and through the sliding glass doors. The morning frost had long since melted, removing any trace of feet heading across the backyard, but his confidence grew as he drew closer to the tree house. He threw the extra coat over his shoulder, then climbed the shaky ladder without pause. He shoved the floor hatch open, then popped his head up inside the frigid space.
Jace was curled into a tight ball near the far wall, under one of the windows. Vapor puffed away from his pale face, and his entire body was shaking from the cold. He was dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt, and a pair of fucking slippers. He didn’t turn his head to see who’d found him.
“There you are.” Gavin climbed into the tree house, barely mindful of his tall body in such a cramped space. He draped the coat over Jace, then pulled the entire bundle into his lap. For a moment, Jace didn’t react at all. He remained a limp, shivering lump. And then his arms shot out and wrapped tightly around Gavin’s waist, and he tried to bury himself in close. Gavin held him, so relieved his eyes stung and his throat hurt with it.
“This where you ran away to when you were a kid?” he asked after a while. “All the way to the tree house?”
Jace snorted laughter, the sound tickling Gavin’s chest. “Sorry.”
“For what? Giving everyone who cares about you a collective heart attack?”
His body shifted in what Gavin guessed was a shrug. Without moving too much, he retrieved his phone and sent Rachel a quick text: In tree house, warm some blankets, coming down soon.
Almost immediately she sent back a smiley face and several exclamation points.
“Can you walk, babe?” Gavin asked.
“Think so. Why?”
“Because unless you’re up for rappelling, we need to climb down the ladder so we can go warm you up. It’s fucking freezing in here.”
“You’re predisposed to warm climates.”
“Yeah, and you’re practically naked. Come on.”
Jace was also slightly out of it from the cold, and Gavin wished he knew the signs of hypothermia. They inched their way to the hatch, then paused long enough for Jace to shrug into the coat—his father’s coat, apparently, because it was about five sizes too big on him, but it was thick and warm. Gavin positioned himself on the ladder, then pulled Jace down, keeping them only one rung apart, Gavin’s body pressed close in case Jace fell. It took a while to get all the way to the bottom, and Rachel was waiting with a wool blanket still warm from the dryer.
She tucked it around Jace. His legs gave out. Gavin scooped him up before he fell—not the easiest thing in the world to do, despite how it looked in movies—and carried him into the house. By the time they had Jace on the couch, wrapped up in several warmed blankets with his feet under a heating pad, the front door burst open. Rachel raced down the hall to shush them and give a report before the mob could descend.
Gavin knelt on the floor next to Jace’s head, being a presence even though he couldn’t touch him through all the blankets. Jace was awake, which was a good sign, but he wasn’t talking. He looked exhausted and ashamed, and Gavin didn’t know how to make those things stop. He was also a little nervous about facing the rest of Jace’s family when they arrived, and his shiner wasn’t making him feel any less like an outcast. How was he supposed to explain what happened with his sperm donor last night without sounding like the trailer trash he was?
He caught Jace staring at his face, and he winked. “Looks worse than it is,” he said, which wasn’t quite true. Being out in the cold had made his cheek throb more, not less, but he didn’t need to throw last night’s episode of “Trailer Park COPS” onto Jace’s shoulders right now. Jace had enough of his own shit to deal with first.
Keith and Becky Ramsey came into the living room as a unit, moving slowly like hunters afraid of startling a deer. Becky looked ready to burst into tears. They acknowledged Gavin with nods, but their direct attention was on Jace. Rachel and Lauren lingered behind them in the archway, clutching each other’s hands. Gavin knew he was in the middle of what should be a family moment, but he couldn’t make himself move from Jace’s side.
“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry,” Becky said. She circled around to sit on the edge of the coffee table, across from Jace. “I’m so sorry about this morning. We never meant for you to feel judged.”
Jace’s gaze shifted from his mom to someone behind her, then back to the floor.
Keith came closer. “I’m sorry, Jace,” he said. “We were worried and we handled it wrong. You surprised the hell out of us.”
Some humor lit up Jace’s eyes when he looked at his dad. “Surprised myself a little. Didn’t want to tell you like that.”
Keith squatted down to eye level, and the serious tension in his face made Gavin squirm. “It’s true, then?”
“It? Use your words, Dad.”
Gavin bit back a smile.
He glanced at Gavin, then looked right at Jace. “Are you gay, son?”
Jace didn’t hesitate. “Yes.” Gavin’s heart swelled at the confidence in that statement. Jace was exhausted, malnourished and freezing, but he knew who he was.
Keith and his wife shared a look. Becky seemed dazed by the confirmation. “How long have you known?” Keith asked.
“A while. More than a year, for sure. I didn’t really tell anyone until this last month or so.”
“Is this the secret that’s had you tied up in knots since you’ve been home?”
This time Jace hesitated long enough for Gavin to notice. “Mostly. School stress is the rest of it.”
Gavin looked over at Rachel, who gave him a knowing nod. She didn’t say anything, though, about Jace wanting to quit Temple. That was his secret to tell. One big announcement at a time was probably all their parents could handle.
“So are you…?” Becky trailed off as her gaze jumped from Jace to Gavin and back again. “Are you two…together?”
Jace’s hand sneaked out from beneath the cocoon of blankets and reached. Gavin clasped the warming hand tight in his, glad for the support and the honesty. “Yes,” Jace replied.
“This is a lot to take in.”
“I know, Mom. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Well, be sorry you scared us all to death, but not for this. It’ll take some getting used to, for all of us.”
“Yeah.”
“Can we, uh—” Keith cleared his throat. “Can his mother and I speak with Jace alone for a few minutes?”
Gavin gave Jace’s hand a supportive squeeze, then he took his cue. He followed the girls into the kitchen. Lauren turned on a radio, which filled the room with Christmas carols—the best they could do for privacy, apparently. Rachel filled the teapot with water from the tap and put it on the stove to heat. Neither of them looked directly at him, and the cold shoulder was starting to irritate, especially from Rachel.
“You know, Jace is the same guy he’s always been,” he said when the silence had lasted beyond his tolerance. Plus he hated long, awkward pauses. “He’s always been gay, you just
didn’t know.”
The sisters looked at each other and grinned. Rachel took a folded bill out of her pocket and handed it over to Lauren with a growled, “Fine, you win.”
“Huh?” Gavin said.
“Lauren bet five bucks the first thing you said would be in Jace’s defense.”
He turned to stare at Lauren, the Ramsey with whom he’d had the least amount of interaction. She was a younger version of their mother, with a strong resemblance to Rachel too. She smiled at him with perfect calm, and maybe even a little gratitude.
“Thank you for caring about our brother,” Lauren said.
“Um, you’re welcome,” he said, a little dazed at her quick acceptance of him in Jace’s life.
“He can be hardheaded and super-stubborn. He needs someone to check him on his bullshit once in a while.”
“Sounds like a full-time job.”
“Probably is. You up for it?”
He glanced at the archway leading out into the living room. He was definitely up for the challenge of being with Jace; he only hoped Jace felt the same way.
Jace hadn’t wanted Gavin to leave the living room, but he totally owed his parents an honest conversation after the crap he’d pulled. Running away, disappearing, scaring the hell out of everyone. Shame swamped his already upset stomach.
He was still a little cold and stiff, but he sat up anyway, allowing some of his blanket cocoon to fall away. “I’m sorry.”
“For what, honey?” Mom asked.
“Scaring you guys. I should have handled the conversation better instead of running, but I haven’t really been myself recently.”
“We’ve noticed. It’s why your dad and I decided to finally talk to you about it. We give you kids a lot of leeway and try not to meddle, but we knew something was wrong.”
Jace’s lips twitched. “Bet you’re glad it’s not drugs.”
Dad chuckled. “Very glad. I had a whole speech prepared, though, if it was. I suppose I don’t understand why you thought you couldn’t tell you’re gay. Have we ever said or done anything to make you think we wouldn’t accept you exactly as you are?”
“Not really. You’ve always been pro-marriage equality, and you’re friends with Samuel and Rey. It’s just…” Jace wasn’t sure how to phrase it. “Dad, you’ve always told me to think about my future, to get a good education, a solid job, and build a life so I can take care of my family. Support a wife and kids, like you did.”
“I have said that, over and over. Maybe I was driving the point too hard, but it’s only because I want my kids to have the best life possible. Better than I had growing up. I made something of myself, and I said my kids would never want for love or material things. I never realized that those pep talks could come across badly.”
“They were good pep talks, I just…I’m not like Rachel and Lauren. I’ve spent three semesters in college, and I still don’t know what I want to do with my life, but whatever it is, it’s not at Temple.”
Mom startled. “What do you mean?”
Jace took deep, bracing breath in order to lob this little truth bomb. “I want to quit school.”
“What?”
“Why?” Dad asked.
“I’m not happy there,” Jace replied, cautiously optimistic about their curious questions, instead of being told he was absolutely not quitting. They wanted to hear his reasons. “I was never excited by the idea of going to college, and I applied to Temple because Rachel wanted to go there, and I thought it would be easier if I was close to my twin. But I don’t feel as if that’s where I’m supposed to be right now. Maybe I’ll go back to college later, but I don’t want to be there now.”
Dad frowned. “Does this decision have anything to do with dating Gavin?”
“Absolutely not. I’d been thinking of quitting since summer break, months before I met Gavin at Dixie’s Thanksgiving dinner.” He’d considered it, but he’d wanted to go back and keep an eye on Rachel—a decision that he both regretted and completely stood by. It was an odd way to feel about the choice that had altered Jace’s life so dramatically.
“What will you do if not school? Get a job?”
“Probably. I honestly don’t know what I want to do yet, but it makes more sense to figure it out now, than to keep spending money on a degree I might not even use.”
“That’s a very good point,” Mom said. “A responsible one, too. This is what’s been eating at you all break?”
“Pretty much. I’ve been stressing myself sick over everything. I didn’t want to disappoint you guys by quitting school, and then adding on that I’m gay felt kind like too much, but I needed to tell you both secrets. And I’m glad I did.” Jace felt lighter for having finally confessed these two huge parts of himself.
Lighter, but not completely free. He wouldn’t be free until he moved his stuff out of his dorm room and left Temple University—and Jordan Burns—behind for good.
12
Jace came awake slowly, pulling himself out of a warm haze of rest and no dreams. He stretched his arms and legs in a tingling, wonderful full-body exercise that woke him up the rest of the way. He rolled onto his side and peeled open his sandy eyelids. The sight of Gavin asleep in his room—albeit, curled up in his papasan chair, instead of in bed with him—made him grin like a fool. A curling heat settled in his stomach as he recalled the unflagging support he’d gotten from Gavin ever since they met, but especially today.
Gavin had looked for him. Gavin had found him, brought him down and stayed by his side. Jace didn’t know what to call the things he felt for Gavin, only that he treasured the feelings.
Running away had been stupid, and he’d realized that pretty quickly. Hiding in the tree house hadn’t been his most intelligent plan ever, either. But his family had forgiven him for scaring them. Talking to his parents about everything afterward had been terrifying; knowing Gavin was close by gave him the strength to be honest about almost everything. Mom seemed more upset about his desire to quit school than Dad. He mostly wanted assurance that the choice had nothing to do with staying close to Gavin, and Jace promised that wasn’t the case—although it was definitely a check in the plus column. They made a plan to sit down and discuss his post-school plans at length after New Year’s. Jace could handle that.
The only thing still left unresolved was Jordan.
Gavin made a snuffling noise, then woke with a start. He sat up so fast he nearly toppled the chair, which wasn’t super stable to begin with. He grabbed hold of the sides and held tight, like a sailor afraid of tipping a lifeboat, and Jace laughed. Gavin’s head snapped in his direction. His startled expression shifted into something warmer, happier.
“Hey, you,” Gavin said.
Jace untangled himself from the pile of blankets that had been heaped over him when he came upstairs to nap earlier. Gavin crawled across the bed and became the only blanket Jace needed. They wrapped their arms around each other, creating a tangle of limbs and body heat that Jace never wanted to lose. Gavin’s face pressed into the crook between his neck and shoulder, his breath warm on Jace’s skin.
The knots of anxiety that had turned his stomach inside out for the last few weeks were breaking apart, letting go. That wouldn’t have happened without Gavin in his life, and Jace didn’t have the words to say thank you. He hugged him instead, hoping his body said what his mouth could not.
They relaxed into the pillows together, facing each other. “Where is everyone?” Jace asked.
“Your mom went into work for a few hours, and your dad said something about errands before he was due in at the station. I told them I’d stay here in case you needed anything. How do you feel?”
“Better.” He was still tired, but his energy would return once he got up and ate something. The idea of some soup or toast made his empty stomach grumble for food. The noise made them both smile. “Not top shape, but a lot better.”
“Good.”
Jace brushed his fingers over the hollow of Gavin’s cheek, right below
the purple swelling.
“You gonna tell me about this now?” he asked.
Anger sparked in Gavin’s eyes. “My asshole of a sperm donor showed up at the trailer last night.”
“He hit you?”
“Yeah.”
“Son of a bitch.” Something rose up inside Jace like bile, only darker and more deadly. It heated his chest and made his heart pound. His hand started shaking with the force of it.
Gavin grabbed his hand and squeezed tight. “Hey, it’s fine. The cops arrested him.”
“What did he want?”
“I’m not sure. He was raving about Mama having something of his, but Mama had no clue. I really don’t care as long as he stays the hell away from us both for a long, long time.”
“I wish I’d been there.”
Gavin shook his head, a fierceness in his eyes that startled Jace. “I’m glad you weren’t. If he’d hurt you or Mama, I’d have killed him.”
“But he hurt you.”
“This is a mosquito bite compared to when I was a kid. I didn’t know how to fight back then. Didn’t think I was supposed to. For a while, I thought hitting was what real men did.” He snorted, then rolled his eyes—at himself, at some memory, Jace didn’t know. But he wanted to hurt Gavin’s father for ever laying a hand on Gavin.
“What do you think real men do now?”
Gavin rolled them so Jace was on his back, looking up. Gavin gazed down at him, his dark hair hanging over his forehead. “Real men protect what they love,” he said.
The words stole Jace’s breath away. His heart swelled with their meaning. He pulled Gavin down into a tender, lazy kiss, enough to put Gavin’s taste back in his mouth. Gavin settled into the kiss, the long length of his body a weight and warmth that Jace wanted—needed. Everything felt right with Gavin here like this.
Jace allowed his hands to wander, instinct inching them around Gavin’s waist, then under the hem of his shirt to touch warm skin. His dick finally took notice of the action above and an unexpected shudder of arousal rippled through his abdomen. Gavin deepened the kiss, his tongue darting into Jace’s mouth, licking lightly, more a question than a demand. Jace was exhausted and hungry, but he wanted something—wanted it more than rest or food, and he wanted it from Gavin.