Weight of Silence: (Cost of Repairs #3)

by A. M. Arthur

  Jordan gave up on his first target. His hand slid around to push under the waist of Jace’s slacks. Fingers dug into the muscle at the top of Jace’s ass. Phantom pain stabbed him in the guts. Memories from that afternoon, kneeling on the rough carpet of his dorm, while Jordan held his hair and bore into him from behind. Pressing his fist into his mouth and taking it long enough for Jordan to get off, when his body was screaming at him to get away, get it out, make it stop. He couldn’t say no that time. He’d been forced to say yes.

  Never again.

  “I said no!” Jace reached blindly behind him and raked his fingernails across the first bit of soft flesh he touched.

  Jordan yelled, and another voice joined the sound, this one full of rage and surprise.

  Gavin.

  The weight holding Jace down was gone, and the bed bounced. He un-tucked his slightly numb right arm and rolled onto his back in time to see Gavin land a hard blow to Jordan’s face. Jordan tumbled to the floor with a yelp. Jace slid to the edge of the bed, blood buzzing with adrenaline, ready to attack if Jordan came up swinging. He didn’t. He blinked up at the ceiling, a little dazed, blood trickling from a split lip. Three long gashes ran the length of his right cheek, courtesy of Jace’s nails.

  “Jace, you all right?” Gavin was in front of him, touching his hair, trying to make him look up.

  He stood so he didn’t have to crane his neck so much, then met Gavin’s wild, worried stare. “I’m fine.” And as he said the words, Jace knew they were true. Jordan had startled him, but he wasn’t scared of him anymore. Jace was disgusted by him, and he hated him, but he was done being cowed by him. “Jordan was just leaving.”

  Jordan made a disbelieving noise. Jace stepped around Gavin, then pressed his foot down on Jordan’s crotch. Hard enough for Jordan to grunt and go perfectly still. “We’re done, you hear me?” Jace said. “You don’t contact me or my sister again. Swear to me it’s over, or I scream rape right here and now.”

  “You wouldn’t,” Jordan said, his voice reedy and pained.

  Jace pressed harder; Jordan’s eyes widened. “You wanna take that chance with your balls at my mercy?”

  “Fine, it’s over.” When Jace pushed a little more, Jordan said, “I swear!”

  He considered giving Jordan’s junk a good stomping on anyway, but reigned in the impulse. They’d made a bargain after all. He wasn’t altogether positive Jordan would abide by it, but he needed to believe it or he’d never be able to walk out of this bedroom and face his sister.

  “Your face is bleeding,” Jace said flatly. “You should be more careful about walking into doors, Jordan.”

  Jordan snuffled but didn’t reply. Gavin stepped around Jace to squat next to Jordan. He spoke too softly for Jace to hear, but the way Jordan’s eyes widened in fright got the point across. He didn’t need to hear the threat to know Gavin would follow through if Jordan made himself an issue ever again.

  They walked into the hall together, and in the shadow of the next doorway, Gavin yanked him into a tight hug. Jace returned the embrace, his entire body vibrating from his ebbing adrenaline rush. He was proud of himself for not panicking during the altercation. He’d stood up to the devil and the devil backed down.

  “Did he hurt you?” Gavin asked.

  “No, not this time.”

  “I’m sorry—”

  “Don’t. This was all on Jordan, so don’t you dare apologize for anything. You got here just in time, hero.”

  “He won’t bother you again.”

  “I know.” Jace pressed a kiss to the side of Gavin’s neck, grateful for him and unable to express how much. “You ready to get out of here?”

  “God, yes.”

  On their way through the downstairs of the house, a new level of excited chatter had broken over the party participants—so much so that Jace forgot all about leaving. People were texting or talking on their cell phones, and he heard snippets of conversations that made no sense. He led Gavin into the kitchen where he cornered Molly near the extra bags of chips.

  “What’s going on?” Jace asked.

  She glanced at Gavin, eyes wide. “You haven’t heard?”

  “Obviously not, Mol.”

  “Lucy got a text from Vanessa, who was at Casper’s big party in Harrisburg tonight, and Vanessa said that the police broke the party up less than ten minutes ago.”

  Gavin tensed. Jace reached back and grabbed his hand without thinking. “Why did they break up the party?” Jace asked.

  “They arrested Casper.”

  “For?” Gavin asked. He looked dazed. He and Casper were friends, and this night had been one crazy shock after another for him.

  Molly bit her bottom lip. “I’m not sure, but it’s something to do with the Laundromat fire back in May.”

  Gavin had his cell phone out and was dialing before Jace caught up to the action.

  Gavin knew before the call connected. He didn’t know how, but he did. He knew it before Detective Kramer answered and confirmed Gavin’s suspicions: the flash drive Kai Hale bargained to the police contained information linking Anthony “Casper” Blonsky to the fire that burned down part of a town block six months ago. Kai was hired to start the fire, paid by Casper to do it professionally and then leave town—half the money ahead of time, half the money in six months as long as the police didn’t catch on. When Casper refused to pay the rest of the money he owed Kai—because God only knew what kind of parties and drugs Casper had spent it on—Kai decided to get the flash drive so he could force Casper to pay up.

  Kai was getting a deal for providing the information, but he’d still face at least ten years in jail—which meant Mama could divorce him on fault grounds without worrying about Kai hurting either one of them.

  Jace drove them over to Dixie’s Cup in the Jeep while Gavin processed everything he’d learned. His sperm donor wasn’t only a deadbeat dad, an abusive husband, and a mean drunk. He was also a paid arsonist. And a guy Gavin had defended, who he’d known since grade school, had turned out to be a first-class fuckup. Casper had been part of a horrible crime and Gavin had never even suspected. What did all that say about Gavin?

  He didn’t know what to think, so he didn’t think at all until they got to the Cup. Mama was working a night shift, but the look on her face when he and Jace walked into the diner said she’d already heard.

  Only two people were eating at the counter while Old Joe read a magazine, so she sat in a booth with him while Jace served them all coffee. Several times, he caught Mama wiping away silent tears. He reached across the table and held her hand while they sat together.

  At a few minutes until midnight, Jace pulled out his phone and found a live stream of Times Square. They gathered around the phone and listened. Old Joe joined them during the countdown to midnight.

  Gavin rang in the New Year by thoroughly kissing his boyfriend. Mama hugged Old Joe and cried happy tears. This year they were all starting over. Mama could have her life back. Jace was deciding what to do with his. Gavin would ride the waves, as he always did, until he coasted to the next stop on his journey—wherever that might take him.

  Chapter 15

  “Look at the bright side,” Jace said as he pulled the zipper on his over-packed suitcase. “You’ll probably have the room to yourself for a while.”

  “Yeah, and then they’ll stick me with a sweaty science nerd who farts constantly,” Ben replied. He smiled, though, so Jace knew he wasn’t upset about anything.

  Jace had called Ben a few days ago to tell him he wasn’t returning to Temple, and that he’d be by to pack up his side of the dorm. Ben had been great about it, even though he’d given him shit about quitting to follow an idiotic pipe dream. Then Ben had teased him about staying home to chase ass, instead. Jace hadn’t minded the ribbing. He genuinely liked Ben and would miss him.

  He’d also taken Gavin with him to Temple that day to collect his things. He didn’t think Jordan would be stupid enough to stop by while Jace was there, but
he wasn’t taking any chances. And going back to that dorm again after so many weeks away, when the last clear memory he had there was of Jordan’s abuse, he was grateful to have Gavin to support him. They’d packed his remaining clothes, his books, and his small collection of personal belongings. The suitcase was the last thing they needed to take down to Gavin’s Jeep, and then they’d hit the road back home.

  After a few stopovers along the way in order to test their new project.

  Jace had negotiated a deal with his parents: He could live at home, rent-free, for one year while he pursued what he jokingly referred to as the Starving Artist Career Path. He already had a part-time job at his mother’s real estate agency so he could sock some money away in the meantime, and to pay for the one- and two-day trips he planned to take with Gavin to begin his research. He needed content for the new blog, after all.

  Gavin had agreed to take part in the project by providing illustrations that he’d receive compensation for—the physical kind for now, with potential financial compensation if the project actually took off. He’d also helped Jace along by suggesting that Jace tailor his blog articles to include a gay slant.

  “Gay people go on trips and vacations too,” Gavin had argued. “Tell them what’s fun and what’s friendly.” He was already toying with designs for the website and blog, and he hoped to have something up by the end of the week. He was also getting them set up on different social media sites—all they really needed to do was settle on a name for the site. They had time, and they had ambition. The project suited them both and came with the added bonus of working together. And if it was as successful as Jace hoped, it would allow him to be his own boss and eventually get them both away from Stratton for longer periods of time.

  Or they’d fall on their faces and have to try something else. They were young and had time to figure all of it out.

  “If you get a roommate who farts a lot, I’ll send you a case of air deodorizer,” Jace said with a snort of laughter.

  “Gee, thanks, man,” Ben replied.

  “Just doing my duty as your former roommate.”

  “You could do your duty by staying.”

  Jace smiled. “Can’t. The open road is calling to me.”

  “Yeah, well, don’t pick up any hitchhikers, okay?”

  “Not even cute ones?” Gavin deadpanned. He’d moved to stand by the door with Jace’s suitcase, giving them a moment to say goodbye.

  Ben pulled a face. “If you both end up on the evening news as missing persons, I’m going to say I told you so.”

  “Nice to know you care.” Jace drummed up a casual tone as he said, “I’m surprised Jordan didn’t stop by to say bye.” He didn’t actually give a shit, but Jordan staying away meant he was taking Gavin’s undisclosed threat seriously and sticking to their agreement.

  “Hard to do when you’re in lockup.” Ben rolled his eyes.

  “He’s where?”

  “Asshole was stupid enough to try and blackmail some chick in exchange for sex, except she had a cop brother or something, and anyway, they got Jordan on tape trying to blackmail her. If the charges stick, he’s facing time.”

  “That’s crazy,” Gavin said in a mild tone. “Maybe this will teach him not to fuck with people.”

  “We’ll see.”

  “Yeah,” Jace said. That last band of worry that had been squeezing his chest shattered. Jordan wasn’t going to pop out of the closet like the bogeyman and scare him one last time. Maybe this time, Jordan would get what he fucking deserved.

  Jace stuck out his hand. “See you, Ben.”

  “You too.” Ben grabbed his hand and yanked him into a quick hug, slapping his back with his free hand.

  Jace left him in the half-empty dorm room, and he followed Gavin back down to where the Jeep was parked along the street. The air was crisp and cold, and the ground was covered in a thin crust of ice and melting snow. He gazed around this side of campus while Gavin shoved the suitcase into the backseat with the rest of his things, and he realized something.

  “I’m not going to miss this place,” Jace said. “Not even a little bit.”

  “Sounds like you’re making the right decision, then,” Gavin said. He walked around to Jace’s side of the Jeep, stamping his feet in a dramatic show of being cold. “Ready to go?”

  “Yeah, I am.”

  They climbed inside, and Gavin immediately cranked the heat up to its highest setting.

  “You know, for someone who’s genetically inclined toward warm weather and hates the cold,” Jace said, “you have lousy choices in cars.”

  Gavin gazed at him in mock horror. “Don’t diss the Jeep, Ramsey. You’ll love it in the summer when the top’s off and the sun is glaring down on your shoulders.”

  The idea certainly had merit. “You think you can put up with my neuroses long enough to make it to summer?”

  “Definitely.” Gavin leaned across the console and caught him in a long kiss that promised summer and beyond. “With one condition.”

  “Oh?”

  “When this blog writing thing we’ve got takes off, the first place we hit to celebrate is someplace warm and tropical. I’m thinking Bermuda or Brazil.”

  Jace worked up a convincingly crestfallen frown. “Really? I’d rather go to Alaska. I hear it’s gorgeous up there, even in the spring.” Gavin stared at him until Jace couldn’t keep a straight face anymore and started laughing.

  “Very funny.” Gavin took a gentle swipe at him.

  Jace caught his hand and squeezed. “How about we compromise and go south for the winter?”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  Gavin shifted into gear and pulled out into traffic. Jace helped him negotiate their way back out of Philadelphia and toward the road that would take them to the turnpike. As the city passed by around them, Jace felt his entire world opening up, expanding into something he never imagined it could be. Until today.

  Until Gavin.

  Today he was happy. And hungry.

  Jace shifted in his seat to smile at his boyfriend. “So, where do you want to stop for lunch?”

  Epilogue

  Six Months Later

  “Good God, it’s sweltering out there.” Gavin flopped dramatically onto the small built-in bench that doubled as a couch in their shared camper. “I’m going to melt.”

  Jace laughed at his boyfriend’s antics from his spot at the tiny dinette table, where he was going over his notes from today’s trip. “Says the one who is predisposed to tropical climates?”

  “Whatever. I suddenly miss winter. That’s what the deep south is doing to me.”

  “What if I told you tomorrow is going to be a beach day?”

  Gavin jerked upright. “I take it back, I love the south.”

  “Dork.”

  They’d driven down to Daytona to spend three days at a new resort that advertised itself as being gay-friendly, and they both wanted to test the truth of that statement. In the five-plus months since their travel blog had gone live, they’d picked up enough traction that they could afford to take longer, more extensive trips.

  For the first two months, Jace had worried every day that he’d made a mistake. That all he was really doing was taking day trips and mini vacations, and not actually accomplishing anything. At the same time, Gavin had started an Instagram feed for their trips, and his photos, along with his sarcastic commentary, had gotten them a following. A following that grew, and grew, and soon bigger blogs started paying attention to them.

  They even had fans of themselves as a couple, and not just for their blog, which was weird, but Gavin was hella hot, so Jace didn’t mind it so much. Gavin loved the attention. And he was getting attention as an artist for his pencil sketches they posted online. A few of the places they’d visited and positively rated even asked about purchasing the originals, which gave Gavin extra income, since he was now part-time at Dollar Mart.

  An email alert popped up on the laptop screen. Jace’s pulse jumped at the name of the
sender. He opened it quickly and scanned the contents, his heart beating faster with each word.

  “I sold it! Holy shit!” Jace leapt up from the table’s bench seat. “I sold the dairy farm article!”

  “Awesome, I told you so.” Gavin stood and lifted him off his feet with the force of his hug. “You need to believe in yourself more.”

  “I know, but this is my first freelance article.”

  The article had been a fluke idea, written after their trip to an organic dairy farm that did tours and talked about their products. Jace had interviewed one of the owners after the official tour, getting more personal about why they went organic, and taking extensive notes. After researching potential outlets for the article, Jace had tailored it to a popular organic food blog. He’d crossed his fingers and hit send six weeks ago.

  The pay wasn’t a lot, but it was exposure. And it was a huge fucking accomplishment.

  “If this keeps panning out, you might want to look at some online journalism courses,” Gavin said.

  “Yeah, probably.” He kissed Gavin hard. “This makes me so happy. And kind of horny.”

  Gavin perked up. “I will never turn down sexy times with you, especially when you’re pumped about something. I like the way you fuck me when you’re riding a high.”

  Jace bit his lower lip. He’d given this next request a hell of a lot of thought recently, but he was still nervous to ask. Nervous because Gavin might think he needed to protect Jace by turning him down. Also nervous, because what if Gavin said yes? Gavin was versatile, and not once in their seven-month relationship had Gavin pressured Jace to switch.

  Time to change things up.

  “No fucking?” Gavin asked. “I’m cool with whatever you want.”

  “I know, you always are.” Jace held both of Gavin’s hands and squeezed. “I want something different tonight, Gav. Something we haven’t done yet.”

  “Double-fucking our Fleshjack?”

  Jace busted out laughing at the mental image of them both trying to squeeze their dicks into that thing. He’d bought it for Gavin as a joke birthday present, but Gavin loved fucking into it while Jace fucked him. “No, that’s not it, even if we hadn’t left it at home.”