Possessions

by Judith Michael

  She began, but almost immediately Ross took over, explaining how the house and its wall of windows followed the contour of the tree-covered hill, facing south above the panorama of English Bay, Vancouver and Vancouver Island.

  "But the view," Tobias said to Katherine. "How do you have a view with all those trees?"

  'They're so tall," she said absently, preoccupied with her thoughts. "We look between them; they're like pillars, holding up the sky."

  Derek looked up sharply. Tobias, too, looked surprised that she had said something interesting. "A pleasant fancy," he murmured.

  "Don't you love the trees?" Ann asked. "In Maine we live at the edge of a forest."

  "Craig helped clear them when we built the house," Katherine said, remembering his triumphant smile when he and the crew finally pulled out a large tree that was dying but still stubbornly clinging to the earth. "He liked—likes—heavy work."

  "But aren't you tired of the forest?" Tobias asked Ann. "Fifteen years of peace and quiet: so excessive. Why don't you move back here?" There was a glint in his eye. "Jason could rejoin the company and we'd all be together again."

  Slowly Derek turned in his chair. "Have you taken up family planning, Tobias?" he asked evenly.

  Melanie laughed. Tobias looked amiably vague and Claude changed the subject, and at that moment Katherine knew what was wrong with the evening. No one was excited about Craig. Jason seemed almost angry, and the others—even Victoria and Ann, who did seem to care that he was alive—were so restrained it was as if they had no feelings about him at all.

  POSSESSIONS

  TheyM asked questions, all except Derek, but at the table everyone was behaving as if this were an ordinary family dinner, with nothing unusual to discuss.

  She cleared her throat. Her heart was pounding because she was afraid of making them angry. But after all, she was here to find out about Craig. "Why did Craig disappear fifteen years ago?" she blurted into the murmuring conversations.

  The conversations stopped. Everyone looked at Victoria. But Melanie spoke first. "Why," she drawled. "Most likely for the same reason he ran out on you."

  "Melanie, be silent," Victoria snapped. "You don't know what you're talking about."

  '*They weren't married then, you know," Tobias explained to Katherine. "Melanie and Ross, that is. So she never met Craig."

  "Superb roast beef," Derek said pleasantiy to Victoria. "Perfectly rare. Have you hired a new chef?"

  "I hired him," said Tobias. "But Claude found him."

  "I also found the orchid," said Claude, touching the plant in the center of the table, its arching stems of white flowers mirrored in the mahogany. "Like the roast, it is quite rare."

  "Do you grow flowers?" Victoria asked Katherine. "Or vegetables? I confess I know nothing about the cUmate of Vancouver."

  Katherine put down her fork. She was Victoria's guest, and hopelessly inferior to all of these wealthy, self-confident people, but she was desperate to learn about Craig. With her eyes on the orchid, she said, "I was trying to find out why Craig ran away fifteen years ago. I thought you would help me. With—"

  "Money," said Melanie brightly. "And didn't we all know that was coming. You said I was wrong," she told Ross. "Well, who's wrong now? The minute she found out her husband had a wealthy family— ''

  "No," he said flatly. "I invited Katherine, and she came— "'

  "For her share of the wealth." Melanie looked steadily at Katherine's lowered eyes. "Right? Veteran's pay. Or maybe— if Craig wanted to come back for a piece of the company, wouldn't it be smart to send a sweet wife to test the waters?"

  Victoria was watching Katherine. Letting Melanie do the dirty work, Katherine thought. "*Blow, blow, thou winter

  POSSESSIONS

  wind!'" Tobias intoned. "Melanie, you are cold and unpleasant."

  "Or," Melanie persisted, "hush money. Not to broadcast Craig's latest mess and whatever else he did in the last—"

  "God damn it!" Ross pushed back his chair.

  "We don't know why he disappeared," Tobias said hastily. "Fifteen years ago. We have trouble talking about it," he added. "Partly because we don't know. Claude worked with the police—"

  '*We thought he was dead." Claude spoke directly to Katherine. "It never occurred to anyone that he might deliberately have disappeared."

  "We've thought and thought—" Ann exclaimed.

  "Lack of information—" began Tobias.

  'Trust!" stormed Jason. "Lack of trust! If that young fool had come home and told us what happened—"

  "What did happen?" asked Katherine.

  "He wasn't a fool!" Ann protested. "He was clever and dear and gentle ..."

  So was Craig, Katherine thought.

  "The golden boy," murmured Derek.

  "Who wasn't a hero," said Jason. "So he ran away, to keep from facing us."

  "More likely," said Ross quietly, "he ran away because he couldn't face himself."

  "Why?" Katherine's voice was frustrated.

  "Cowardice!" Jason boomed, but Ann cried out, "He died trying to—" as Claude's courtroom voice rode over them: "It seems he didn't die."

  "That is quite enough!" Victoria stood at the head of the table, her eyes blazing. "I apologize," she said to Katherine. "My family is behaving like a raucous mob." She swept them with her gaze. "It is unforgivable." At her gesture, the butler, wheeling in the dessert cart, stopped in the doorway. The room was still. Slowly, Victoria sat down and nodded permission to the buder to circle the table, offering a selection of desserts. The maid poured coffee. When everyone was served, Victoria said to Katherine, "Ross told you nothing about the sailing accidentT'

  Uncertainly, Katherine said, "Only that there was one."

  Victoria nodded. "We do find it difficult to talk about. Even 51

  POSSESSIONS

  after so many years. And especially now . . . with the ending changed. But you shall hear the story." She took a sip of coffee and looked around the table. "Claude will tell it."

  "Of course," Claude said easily. Why? Katherine wondered. He wasn't there. Ross said it was the four of them.

  "The four of them," Qaude began. "Craig, Jennifer, Derek, and Ross, were sailing home across the bay. It was dusk. The bay is often unpredictable, particularly at that time and especially near the Golden Gate; I am told great concentration is needed to sail it safely. But they had been at a party in Sausalito, with a great deal of drinking, and none of diem was capable of such concentration. There was a sudden change in wind direction and the boom swung across the boat. It struck Jennifer, knocking her unconscious, and she fell overboard. Craig immediately jumped in to save her. Ross and Derek— though neither was an experienced sailor at that time—^managed to turn the boat around and return to Jennifer. They found her dead. Craig, of course, was gone."

  Again the room was still. Katherine glanced at the closed faces of Ann and Jason, trying to imagine what it would be like to lose both her children on the same day. But it was unimaginable: her thoughts skidded from the idea and she wondered if that was why they had moved to Maine.

  **Odd," Tobias ruminated. "I thought there was something more to it. Of course I was living in Boston, but I seem to remember hearing that besides the wind, there was also a disagreement, one might say a quarrel, that distracted—"

  "You heard, Tobias?" Eterek asked coldly. "You never told us you heard voices. Do you also see visions?"

  "Katherine should hear the whole story," Tobias said quietly.

  "Craig was quarreling?" Katherine asked. "What about?"

  **They'd been drinking," said Claude. "There were conflicting, and, I gather, belligerent opinions on the best way to sail the boat. P^r some reason, rumors about a quarrel, even a fight, cropped up afterward; no one knew why. I think it would be unwise to resurrect any of them at this late date."

  There was a pause. Melanie's fingernail rang nervously against her wine glass. "If you please," said Victoria, and Melanie's fmger was still.

 
"So," Claude went on. "Apparently Craig made his way to

  POSSESSIONS

  Vancouver. Most likely hitchhiking. Did he ever tell you, Mrs. Fraser?"

  Startled, Katherine said, "How could he? I told you he never talked about—"

  "Yes, I keep forgetting. Where did the name Fraser come from?"

  She looked at him blankly. "I don't know."

  "A suburb of Vancouver, perhaps? On the southern edge of the cityr'

  "Named Fraser?" Ross asked. "Is there one, Claude?"

  "Not far from the U.S. border. I found it on a map. I suppose he passed through it when he was running."

  "Did Craig keep up his carving?" Tobias asked Katherine. "I always loved those little people he made—so realistic."

  "He went through a stage," Ann recalled, "of wanting to make carving his career. Can you imagine?"

  "I can't at all," said Tobias. "I thought he was anxious to go into the company with Jason and Curt. My, my; so Ross wasn't the only one who wanted to break away."

  They had done it again, Katherine thought: moved on to small talk. She turned to Tobias. "You mean you think he left to break away? You see, I'm trying to find out what kind of person he was—is—"

  "You married him," Melanie said sweetly. "You must have known what kind of person he was."

  "Is he dead?" asked Tobias. "I didn't know we'd decided that."

  "No—!" Katherine burst out.

  "It's hard to know," mused Derek. "With Craig."

  "It is hardly a decision we can make," Victoria said. All through dinner she had been intent on the conversation, her eyes following the rest of them. The only time she spoke out, Katherine realized, was to stop an outburst that might have revealed something about Craig. "Port and cognac in the living room," Victoria added, and stood up.

  Not everyone had finished coffee and dessert. Katherine understood that she was hurrying them through dinner. Because she wants me gone.

  It was simple; it was obvious. Why had it taken her so long to see it? Ross had asked Victoria to give a dinner and she had done it, but not because she wanted to. None of them wanted

  POSSESSIONS

  this dinner; none of them wanted Katherine to be there. None of them wanted to talJc about Craig.

  Or maybe they did, but they could not confront the evidence that he had been ahve all these years. And since they could hardly evade it with Katherine there, she was an mterloper. And so is Craig, she thought. Even though he's not here.

  What did he do, that his family can't rejoice that he's alive?

  As clearly as if he sat beside her, she heard Craig say. Most families are rotten. He had said it often, when they were first married, adding that theirs would be different. Now he seemed so close she thought she could touch him. Rotten, his voice repeated.

  "Please," Katherine said loudly as the others pushed back their chairs. "Please wait." They looked at her.

  "In the living room," Victoria ordered.

  "No, please," Katherine insisted; as long as they were together at the table, she might get them to listen to her, "I don't understand you. I have so many questions about Craig's Ufe before I knew him, and I thought you would want to know about his life the past fifteen years. I thought we could share what we know because he never put his two lives together; he kept them separate—"

  *That's all you want?" Claude asked. "Knowing what you do about the Hay ward family and the company—^"

  "I don't know anything about them! Don't you understand? I don't know the man I married; I barely know his family; I don't know what to believe—^I don't even know if I understand myself. Eton't you see?" No one answered. "Well, then, there is something else. I thought you'd be so happy to know Craig is alive you'd do all you could to find him. You have so much wealth and power" —she ignored the triumphant look Melanie gave Ross— "I thought you might hire investigators, put advertisements in newspapers, call people you know in other cities where he might have gone ... I thought you'd help me look for him. And I thought perhaps the reason he vanished before might be connected with why he's gone now, and if we knew that we might find him together much faster than I could alone."

  No one spoke. They looked out the window or at Katherine or at the white orchid reflected in the dark mahogany table. Laughter from the library reached them faintly, but the dining room was silent.

  POSSESSIONS

  Katherine stood up. She felt light-headed and dizzy, but, strangely, almost excited. She had to handle it alone, without Craig's help. And if they became angry and turned their backs on her—she would handle that alone, too.

  "And I did think you might help us with a loan, just until Craig gets back, because we don't have much money and I don't know what we're going to do. But I wanted a loan, not a gift, and one of the things I wanted to do with it was hire detectives to look for him. Because we have to find him and help him—^" She stopped briefly. "If we can; if he's still alive. I don't know what's happened to him, he may be in trouble, or hurt, but you act as if you're the ones who are hurt, that he's insulted you because he—" She stopped again. No one had mentioned embezzlement and she would not be the one to bring it up. "He's been—he is a wonderful husband and a wonderful father and I love him and I won't turn my back on him, even if you do, and I don't understand how you can talk about flower gardens and wood carvings and orchids when Craig—"

  Victoria raised an imperious hand. "We do not need you to tell us how to behave. You know very little about us— "

  "I'd know more if you'd tell me!"

  "Do not interrupt me! We opened our home to you and your children; you have little cause to criticize us."

  "I didn't want to." Katherine's eyes filled with tears. "But I think you'd be happier if you'd never heard of Craig Fraser at all."

  "Katherine," Tobias chided, looking at Victoria's tight lips. 'Too much, too much. Don't say more than we can forget."

  "You don't want us here," she went on doggedly. "You don't want me and you don't want Craig. But of course it was very kind of you to invite us." She hesitated, then turned to leave.

  "Young woman!" Victoria's icy voice stopped her. She heard Tobias lament, "Oh, Katherine," and Melanie murmur, "How charming; no one walks out on—" as Victoria said, "How dare you turn your back on me! And where do you think you are going? You have no one else to help you."

  Katherine half-turned to see her—so beautiful in her regal anger it seemed nothing could touch her. "You don't want to help and I don't need you. Craig and I have gotten along by

  POSSESSIONS

  ourselves for ten years, you haven't existed for us, so why should I come to you now? Til find him . . . and we'll be all right." Quickly she left the room, trembling so violently she thought she would fall.

  But suddenly Ross was there, his arm lightly around her shoulders as they walked through the drawing room. "I think you should stay," he told her. "What you said about us was partly true, but Victoria was right: there are many things you don't know about us. And there's no question that we'll help you financially. I apologize for my wife's insinuations—"

  "You have nothing to apologize for. But I don't want any help from your family. All I want to do is go home, where I belong, and find my husband."

  He started to say something, then changed his mind as they came to the Ubrary. Jennifer and Carrie were locked in a computerized race with Todd and Jon on the television screen and it was a few minutes before Katherine was able to pry them loose. "They have a million games, Mom!" Todd said as they all walked down a long gallery.

  "They aren't ours," said Jon. 'They're Great-Grandma's. But she lets us play any time we want, and when you come back—"

  "Are we coming back?" Jennifer asked, squinting as she tried to read her mother's face.

  "No—" Katherine began and that single word, louder than she had intended, met Victoria and Tobias, who were waiting in the entry hall.

  Tobias took Katherine's hands in his. "We've all behaved badly; I'm quite ashamed of eve
ryone. But you will come back, of course you will, now that we've met, now that we consider you part of the family—"

  But it was clear he wasn't asking them to stay. Katherine stepped back. "Goodbye," she said to Victoria. "I'm sorry."

  "So am I," Victoria responded unexpectedly. But then she said to Ross, "Are you driving them to the airport?"

  The last of Katherine's fears of angering them dropped away. **That isn't necessary," she said bitingly. "We can manage on our own. We wouldn't want to disrupt your life—I mean your dinner —any more than we already have. Todd, do you have your jacket? Jennifer?" She opened the carved oak door and

  POSSESSIONS

  urged them ahead of her into the small vestibule. "We'll get a cab downstairs, for the airport. We're going home."

  As she pushed the elevator button, she saw Ross gesture to Victoria and Tobias to stay behind. He followed her into the vestibule. "Your luggage is at the Fairmont," he said. "We'll pick it up on the way to the airport." 'There may not be a flight for Vancouver tonight." "We'll find out." The elevator arrived and the uniformed doorman slid open the door. Katherine held out her hand to Ross. "Thank you again. When Craig comes home, would you like us to let you know?"

  There was a barely perceptible pause. "Of course," he said. "But I'll call in a day or two to see how you are."

  "Your family wouldn't approve." Her courage exhausted, Katherine shepherded her children into the elevator and nodded to the doorman. The last thing she saw as he pulled shut the iron grille and started down was Ross, shaking his head, contradicting her, and Carrie and Jon, who had run out to the vestibule, peering through the grille to shout a farewell to Jennifer and Todd.

  Chapter 5

  j!jLFTER the golden splendor of Victoria's apartment, the house in Vancouver seemed a cool and earthbound haven. But as soon as they opened the door, Katherine knew it was not. Driving home from the airport, listening to Todd and Jennifer imagine their father waiting for them, she had almost let herself be convinced, until they walked in and Todd called, "Dad! We're home!" and they came up against the silent emptiness of the dark rooms. The house was exactly as they had left it, nothing out of place, nothing changed. "God damn it!" Todd yelled, stomping down the staire after searching the bedroom. Katherine let him. It was better than keeping it locked up inside.