My cheeks flushed a deep red. He smiled and tentatively reached out to stroke my face. His hand froze as if he was afraid to touch me. His brown eyes were fixed on my face, testing my mood.
"Nick," I chided gently. I grabbed his hand and placed it against my cheek, sighing as his cool fingers cupped my face delicately. "Don't ever be afraid to touch me."
"I thought you'd be disgusted by what I am. I atone for my mistakes every day. I never have or will forget what I've done. If you pushed me away, I'd understand, Savannah. You're one of a handful of humans that know my secret. I could care less about how any of them feel about me. None of them matter except you."
"I'm not going to lie and say I'm not shocked and more than a little pissed off. You left me last night and made me figure it out on my own and threaten my godfather to find out the truth." I sighed and moved to straddle his lap. "It wasn't easy to figure out. I've seen you in the sun, and I've seen you even drink. It was the blood that made it click. It was what made everything fall into place."
His bowed his head. His voice was barely perceptible when he spoke. "You're not afraid of me?"
Placing my index finger under his chin, I raised his face so I could look into his brown eyes. "I think we covered that earlier. Are you going to hurt me?"
Anger darkened his handsome face. "I never want to hurt you, Savannah." His tone was adamant, his dark eyes flashing. "I'd rather die myself. I just worry about your happiness."
He lifted me from his lap and walked to the living room window. He pushed the heavy curtains aside and peered through the darkness.
"This life…it isn’t easy. Are you going to be happy knowing I’m waging a constant fight over the burning in my throat when you’re with me? Knowing what I’m capable of doing? What I’ve done? I’m not sure you understand what a relationship with me entails," Nick stared into the darkness and ran his fingers through his pitch-black hair. "It's sort of a deal breaker. I'm a killer, Savannah. I've killed people just because they happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time…”
My fingernails cut into the palms of my hands as I listened to him. He was right of course. He was a killer. Past tense. "Listen to yourself talk, Nick. You were a killer. You choose every single day not to be that person anymore." I blew out a long breath. "Life isn't perfect and it doesn't always make you happy. Define happy for me, Nick. For me, happy is when you take what you have and make it what you need it to be."
Nick's eyes snapped to mine. His intense stare was almost unnerving, his chiseled face aloof. "You have no idea what you're saying.”
Rising from the couch to stand beside him at the window, I crossed my arms defiantly. If there was one thing I didn't like, it was being dismissed as if my opinion didn't matter. "Why am I unqualified to have an opinion? Because I'm not an immortal creature? Because I'm some frail human woman that needs to be rescued? Please. I may be young and human, but I know you can choose to be happy, or you can choose to be okay with what you have to work with. You're a vampire. You didn't choose this life, it was chosen for you. Deep down, you feel. You love. And no amount of abuse inflicted on you was able to totally remove that redeeming quality from you. Even when you finally broke away from the vampire that created you and you still hunted humans, you went after the worst of the worst. It's likely you saved more lives than you took during those years."
"Savannah…"
"And to be honest, this whole ‘I worry about your happiness’ routine pisses me off. You pursued me. You swept in this very house last night and chose to make love to me. You fought what you are to be with me then. You can’t have it both ways. Either you’re not good enough for me to be with you or you are. So you can wallow in self-pity and regret or you can man up. What you told me didn't make me run screaming. I’m still here." I cocked an eyebrow and rose up on my tiptoes to grasp his face in my hands. "Besides, I grew up in Hollywood. Not much can shock me."
If it was possible for his face to go paler, I think it just did. “You’ve accepted this? Accepted me? I want to be with you Savannah. More than anything.”
I smiled and ran my hands over his tense shoulders. "Then it's settled."
Nick eyed me warily. "It's that easy?"
Turning my head to the side, I rolled my eyes. "I'm not saying it's easy or I won't have a moment where this all hits me and I fall apart. You've told me the truth so I can deal with that."
I could almost see relief flooding his body and all of the tension leaving him. He smoothed my hair with his fingers, lacing his hands in my thick hair. "I want to kiss you."
I cocked my eyebrow. "What are you waiting for?"
"Your approval."
“It’s yours,” I breathed. Clasping my face between his hands, he traced my cheeks with his thumbs. Even after my impassioned speech, I wasn't sure I how I'd feel. But the second that his lips touched mine, I felt the invisible threads binding us together. He poured everything he had into that single kiss; it was filled with softness, love and unspoken promises. There was no more fighting the draw that I had to him and there would be no more holding back. Any lingering apprehension I had melted away and I knew there was no way in hell I'd ever be able to forget him or leave him behind. I'd sealed my fate with this kiss.
"That should have been our first kiss. Is it too late for that?" His forehead pressed to mine and his eyes closed tightly. His deep voice sounded hoarse, his raspy breath cool against my face.
I grinned despite his serious tone. "I think we're past a lot of firsts. But we can try to make this work."
His eyes swirled from brown to black. My name was all he murmured before his lips were on mine again. They were cool and firm and when his tongue claimed my mouth. I could do nothing more than surrender to him...although it almost felt like he was surrendering to me.
I dragged my lips from his. “Nick, I want you.”
Without another word, he swept me up into his arms and I wrapped myself around him. I buried my face into his neck, breathing a kiss there.
His deep voice rumbled against my lips as he spoke. "Savannah...you know what that does to me."
Running my nose down his neck, I left wet, open mouth kisses against his throat. I pulled back and started into his dark eyes. "Why don't you show me?" I batted my eyes innocently.
”No self-preservation," he panted. His eyes grew even darker than before as he licked his lips. "Love...I...I just...I need..." He gave a frustrated groan and shook his head. "I just need you."
“Then take me to my bedroom, Nick. Please.”
He carried me up the stairs and we tumbled to the bed, our arms and legs tangled around each other. His mouth all but consumed me in a rush of frantic kisses, each one raw and unapologetic as they were seductive. A moan escaped him at the same time his hips surged forward against my own. "Being with you breaks every rule I set for myself. I vowed to never drink from a human again. And you willingly offer yourself to me in every way.”
"Only because I trust you," I murmured. I pressed my open lips to his, kissing him with a hunger the contradicted my outward calm. "What's not to understand about that?"
“Love…” he muttered. That simple word caused a delightful shiver of want to run through me.
"Nick, I feel something for you...something I've never felt. I can't let you walk away." I tightened my arms around him, locking myself into his embrace.
"Does this mean you're coming with me to Europe?" Nick asked. I could hear the hopefulness and doubt in his voice.
"Did you fire me since last night?" I purred in his ear. "You aren't getting away that easily.”
His laughter of relief resonated through him. “Can I...can I stay with you?"
Nodding, I disentangled myself from his arms. I stripped out of my jeans and cardigan, dressed only in skimpy boy shorts and a bra. I felt the weight of his eyes on my body as I turned to face him. They were caressing me as intimately as if they were hands, taking in every curve and swell. His fingers dug deeper into my duvet cover, his nose
flaring as he inhaled sharply.
"Nick?" I slipped into the sheets and watched the muscles of his back tense as he remained sitting on the edge of the bed. Moving slowly, my hands crept up the sculpted planes of his back until they were on his shoulders. "You can do this. It’s no different."
"I have to be so careful with you. You tempt me in every way. If it isn’t your body, it’s the scent of your blood." He sighed and twisted so our faces were inches apart. His fathomless eyes clung to my face. "God, you're beautiful. You're my personal heaven and hell. If I hurt you..."
Shifting closer to him, my lips were touching his as I spoke. "Nick, you worry too much. Just kiss me."
His handsome face relaxed into a shy smile. His fingertips ran over my lips and cradled my cheek. My heart thrummed with the contact, fluttering wildly in my chest. And his eyes...they were a gorgeous brown, brimming with tenderness and passion.
"I've never wanted anyone the way I need you." Nick lightly threaded his hand into my hair and brought my face to his. What started as a sweet kiss slowly built like a fire, burning hotter and hotter. He glided his tongue slowly over my bottom lip and when I opened my mouth to him, our tongues met. The taste of him was like coming home.
Our kisses before had been intense, but they'd never meant this much. Everything was on the table. There were no secrets lingering between us, and the simple awareness added to the complete desperation of every touch, every kiss.
Our lips only parted long enough for his sleek body to press me back into the pillows. He hovered over me, letting his body align against mine. He paused for a moment, looking deep into my eyes. In the slowest of movements, he lowered his head to recapture my lips. The forceful demand of his kiss sent spirals of ecstasy coursing through my veins until I had to break away.
Without taking our eyes off each other, my hand snaked around to my back and unclasped my bra. The straps fell loose on my shoulders, but I kept my hand on the front, clutching the lacy fabric between my breasts. Even though Nick had seen every inch of me, I suddenly felt shy.
“Let me see you, love.” Nick’s fingers traced over my arms, easing the lacy straps aside. He slid it off and dropped it to the floor. "You’re perfect," he murmured. His palm came back to rest over my heart. His ragged intake of breath disarmed me. "Your heart…I can feel it. Oh god, I can feel it."
My hands fumbled with his t-shirt, pulling it over his head. His own fingers flew over the front of his jeans, pushing them down his legs with a swift shove. I fell back down onto the bed, dragging him with me. I needed to feel his skin on mine. He felt like cold fire and satin-covered steel. And I was burning alive from every touch.
He took my wrist, stretching my arm above my head. He reached for my other and clasped them both in his hand. I felt my back arch as he pulled on my arms, pushing my breasts closer to his face. His eyes swept over me and his mouth began a torturous descent down my body. “You mean everything to me.” Between each word, he planted kisses on my neck and nipples until I struggled against his hold.
In an instant, he had rolled to his back and I was straddling his hips. "I need you to be in control right now, love. Your skin..." His hands swirled over my stomach, his fingers reaching between us to seek out my swollen clit. My hips rose up and my head fell back under the sheer ecstasy of his touch.
"Nick, so good. Don't stop," I cried out. My slick folds rubbed over the length of his hard cock and his loud hiss of approval urged me on. Before he could utter a word, I'd impaled myself on him, groaning at the sensation of being filled so thoroughly. For a moment I couldn’t move, the pleasure was pure and explosive. It wasn't until I felt his hand on my hips that I began to move, gently setting the pace.
Leaning over him, I braced both of my hands on either side of his head in the pillows. I was lost in the symphony of our moans and cries of pleasure, in the perfection of our bodies moving together as one. My hair spilled around us, shielding us from the outside world. All that mattered was the absolute bliss that was coursing through me and the feel of the beautiful man beneath me.
I barely felt his hands tighten against me, the sharp pinch of his fingertips on my hips as I plunged myself relentlessly over him. It was as if I was starving for his touch alone. Nothing else would do.
His long fingers grasped the back of my neck, our lips meeting in a series of teasing, passionate kisses. I let out a soft moan and gently sucked his bottom lip into my mouth. My teeth scraped over it and his thick, sweet blood trickled into my mouth.
I wasn’t prepared for his feral reaction.
I was abruptly flipped to my stomach, pinned beneath his strong body. "In all my long life, no one has taken my blood." His soft mouth traced over the curve of my ass, splaying his hands over the small of my back. I attempted to rise up on my arms but his firm hand pressed against me, pressing my breasts against the bed. "Stay there, Savannah. God baby, the things I want to do to you…"
His firm hands pulled my hips back towards him. The head of his cock teased me, barely entering me. "Tell me you want this…that you want me. I need to hear it, love."
My hands fisted into the pillows, burrowing my head into the bed as my body twitched wildly. "I want this…I want you more than anything…”
His hard cock slid into me at an almost agonizingly slow pace. When he was fully sheathed inside of my hot depths, he stopped for a moment. He pulled back and slammed back in, his thrusts shallow.
I shoved back against him. I needed more. “Nick…”
He began to move in earnest and his deep guttural moans were answered by my loud, violent cries as our flesh met.
"Nothing will ever be the same. Fuck," Nick groaned. His chest met my back and his hand roughly palmed my breast. "And I don't want it to be."
I tensed around him, my body preparing to shatter around him. Anticipating my climax, he plunged inside of me with long, hard strokes. As I fell over the edge, I was almost incoherent. I shouted out his name like a mantra, my inner walls clenching him tightly. It was then I felt him shudder, his body trembling as he came.
He wrapped an arm around my waist, bracing himself around me. As he turned me in his arms, I noticed he was shivering. His pale skin seemed sallower, his brown eyes as black as pitch. And those very eyes were transfixed on my throat.
Nick was gone. It was then I realized he'd pushed his limits too far.
I'm sure I was emanating fear from every pore. Afraid to move too quickly, I gently stroked his face. My voice came out as a soothing murmur. "Nick?”
After a few moments, his onyx eyes refocused. But I could see life behind them now. He was back in control, but for how long?
"Do you see? This is what I tried to tell you, Savannah. I can't trust myself. What if…"
Cutting him off, I rubbed my thumb over his cheekbone. "What if you bit me? You stopped before, you can stop again."
He eyes were incredulous. "You can't be serious."
Turning my head, I gathered my hair to fully expose my neck to him. "I'm offering. Because…because I trust you."
Chapter 7
Fix You
In retrospect, it probably wasn't the best idea to blatantly offer your neck to a vampire that was struggling with bloodlust. I'd seen him as a human for so long that I thought his struggle was exaggeration. I could see now how wrong I was.
His nostrils had flared and in a flash he'd plastered himself against the opposite side of the room. He'd stopped breathing and his eyes had glazed over in his need for blood. I'd pushed Nick too far with my belief and ignorance.
I edged off the bed, treading barefoot over the thick carpet. I stopped a foot away from him, reaching out for his hand. “You won't hurt me, Nick. I trust you.”
Nick swallowed hard and his eyes never left mine. His hand was slack in mine, laying limp in my grasp. His handsome face looked tortured, his brown eyes wide and his dark brows were narrowed into two angry black slashes. He still hadn't spoken.
I decided to try again. "Nick, at least sit
down. C'mon." I tugged on his hand and he reluctantly followed behind. I pointed to the bed. "Sit down. I'll stay over here."
He sank to the bed and watched me with wary eyes as I stood a distance away from him.
Not only was he still silent, he also hadn't breathed.
"I know you're worried. I'm scared too, but I trust you. You… you can do this." I offered him a smile of encouragement. I hope I sounded more confident than I felt.
He swallowed again, his throat bobbing. "You don't know what you're asking me to do. I haven't fed from a live being in years. What if I lose control?"
"You stopped earlier," I reminded him softly. I took tentative steps closer to him. "If this is going to work, you can't hide what you are. When you're with me, I want you to be yourself. Can you do that?"
His tense shoulders slumped and he ran his long fingers through his tousled black hair. He hung his head in defeat. He didn't look up when he spoke. "Come here. I have to see your face, Savannah. It's the only way I can stay in control."
"Okay." Slowly approaching him, I placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and I moved to stand between his legs again. "How do we do this?"
He looked up at me with an expression that if possible, could have ripped my heart from my chest. It was filled with reluctance and fear. He drew in a shaky breath and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, his chocolate eyes were clearer. He reached for me and placed me on his lap sideways. "Sit here. Normally, I'd love to bite you here." His nose burrowed the crook of my neck seductively. "But I need to see your eyes. I need to remember whom I'm with…and what I'm doing. I can't get lost in the bl...in the moment. I'm going to bite you on your wrist. Not my first choice, but it’s the safest option. I think I can manage this if I can maintain eye contact."
Now it was my turn to swallow with apprehension. I'd been brave when I was convincing him it would be fine. But now that the moment was here, nervous butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I watched his pale fingers stroke the veins in my wrist longingly. "Okay…"
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