Be My Baby Lite

by ANDREA SMITH

  I moved away from him taking a seat on the sofa. He came and sat beside me, taking one of my hands into his. He was gazing at me quizzically.

  “What did you do to your hair?” he asked.

  “I don’t know. I guess I felt it was time for a new look maybe.”

  “I liked your old look just fine.”

  “Trey, you didn’t come all this way to discuss my hairstyle, I’m sure.”

  “Tylar,” he said with a sigh, “I want you to come home. I want us to work this out. I want to do whatever it takes to get our life back like it was before.”

  I shifted away from him; pulling my hand from his.

  “Before what Trey? Before I caught you making out with Amber? Before we lost our baby? How about we go back to before I lost my sense of identity the minute I fell in love with you?”

  “What are you saying?”

  “I guess I’m saying I’m not at all sure I want to go back to the way it was before. It seems to have led us to where we are right now which is apart.”

  “That’s my fault. I take total blame for us being apart.”

  “Come on, Trey, we both know it takes two to make a marriage work and two to make it fail.”

  “Is that how you see this, Tylar? Do you believe our marriage has failed?”

  “I believe our marriage is in trouble. I’m not sure what to do to fix it, I guess.”

  Trey stood up and nervously raked a hand through his hair as he walked to the mantle. When he turned around to face me again I could see the pain in his brilliant blue eyes.

  “It was a kiss Tylar; it was wrong I know, but please put this into perspective. It was a kiss.”

  “You might as well have fucked her. Betrayal is betrayal.”

  “Are you serious?” he asked incredulously. “You can’t possibly put a kiss right up there with intercourse for Chrissake!"

  “I can and I do. That’s how I feel. Besides that, who’s to say it would've stopped with a kiss? After all, when you spotted me at the window, it kind of killed the mood, didn’t it?”

  “You saw that I pulled away from her. You can’t believe that I would've let it go any further.”

  “I can’t believe for all the love you've professed for me you let it go as far as you did. But then again, I give Amber credit. She did give me fair warning I suppose.”

  The more that I recalled that incident with Amber the angrier I was at myself for not letting Trey know exactly what she'd said. I hadn’t wanted him to think I was a whiney, insecure wife but in all honesty maybe that's exactly what I was. Maybe that's why Trey had been drawn to Amber. She was everything that I wasn't.

  Trey was back beside me on the couch.

  “What do you mean?” he asked.

  “I mean that after the services for Marley she came up to me with her condolences. She was extremely sincere in extending her sympathy. She even patted my hand telling me things like this happen for a reason. She said she knew how cliché it sounded, but in my case it would make our divorce easier.”

  “What the hell are you saying?” Trey yelled.

  “She said she had every intention of making you hers.”

  “No she didn’t,” he replied, dumbfounded.

  “Yeah, okay. I’m a liar, I guess.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me this at the time?”

  “Probably because it would've prompted the same response I got just now. I really wasn’t worried about what she threatened to do because that was when I still had faith in your faithfulness.”

  “Tylar,” he said with a hint of exasperation in his tone, “how do you expect us to work on our problems when you're in Baton Rouge and I'm in Atlanta?”

  I stood up now putting a little distance between us because I knew that he was not going to like what I had to say.

  “For right now I’m not up to working on anything other than healing from the pain of losing the baby; and the pain of your infidelity. If you want to call me self-serving or immature or uncooperative go right ahead, but it’s the truth. I just don’t have it in me right now to deal with anything other than seeing to my own needs.”

  “I don’t understand what that encompasses,” he remarked. “Are you saying that you want a separation?”

  “Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying.”

  “I see,” he said, standing up and walking closer to me.

  Oh God. Please let me stay strong here! Please give me the strength not to succumb to his demands for once. I was surprised when none were forthcoming.

  “How separated do you want to be?” he asked.

  “Geographically or otherwise?” I countered.

  “Well, since you've asked - both,” he replied tersely.

  “I want to stay in Baton Rouge with Dad. Matthew’s case is coming up and I want to see what happens with the murder charges.”

  “What about Preston?” he asked.

  “I'd like her here with me.”

  “When exactly am I supposed to see my daughter?”

  “I’m sure we can work something out. I mean the only time you really have are weekends and with that case you and Amber have been working on, even your weekends have been fairly tied up.”

  “That case should be wrapping up in a few weeks. Why don’t we play it by ear? Maybe I can fly down every other Friday and get a hotel room and keep her with me.”

  “Trey,” I said softly, “Dad’s estate is huge. You won’t need to stay in a hotel suite, unless of course, you want to.”

  He studied me for a moment.

  “I don’t want any of this,” he replied, “but it appears this is the way you want it for the time being. I guess you have that right after what I’ve done.”

  “Please don’t look at this as a punishment for you. I’m in pain here for several reasons. I need this. Has Preston been asking about me?”

  “Of course she has. Gina’s been keeping her and she's very confused. I'll fly down with her this weekend. Do you have clothes for her?”

  “A few Gina packed when I came down here. I can buy more unless you plan on cancelling my credit cards. I mean you can if you want. I guess I’m no longer ‘earning’ my keep with you.”

  Trey was totally incensed with me at that statement. He grabbed me by my arm yanking me against him and tilting my face up to look into his angry blue eyes as he responded.

  “What kind of a man do you think I am? What? I dole out an allowance to you for taking care of my child, my home and my sexual needs? My God, Tylar, marriage is a partnership. I thought that’s what we were?”

  “So did I. But things have changed, not the least of which I discovered just recently when you and Amber made it perfectly clear that you were ‘hot’ for each other in the family room of our home.”

  “God damn it, Tylar, you're twisting things out of proportion. Suffice it to say, I'm not cancelling your credit cards. What I have is yours.”

  “Well just so you know I'm starting to work with the horses here at Dad’s. I insisted on earning my keep here. Besides that, it's my passion.”

  “I thought your family was your passion?” he countered.

  “It is,” I replied coolly. “Dad's family too, you know.”

  “So,” he continued as if he hadn’t heard my response, “what about the “otherwise” portion of our separation?”

  “Hey, if you're chomping at the bit to fuck Amber what's stopping you? I mean, you’ve had almost two weeks to bed her. Are you waiting for my permission?”

  “I don't want to bed her!” he seethed, grasping my hands into a vice-like grip against him. His eyes were blazing with rage. I didn’t understand why. I'd just given him permission to take this opportunity during our separation to fuck her or anyone else he so desired. He just wasn’t going to be fucking me. Somehow this wasn’t sitting well with him.

  “I want you to promise me - promise me,” he repeated, “that you won’t be sexually involved with anyone else. In return, I'll do the same.”

  “What are you
so worried about?”

  “I can’t fathom the thought of another man touching you.”

  “Oh, so that’s how you roll. Well here is how it is Trey; we're separated. That means there are no restrictions. It’s kind of like the military, ‘Don’t ask - don’t tell.”

  I turned from him to exit the room and found myself hauled back by his strong arms. He wrapped his arms around me and crushed me backwards with his strength. His lips found mine as he captured me in a passionate almost violent kiss that left me reeling.

  “You are mine,” he hissed releasing me.

  Our eyes locked with one another’s. His look was possessive; mine was defiant. We shall see I thought to myself as I watched him collect himself and head toward the entry hall to exit.

  “Preston and I'll be here on Friday,” he said without looking back.

  CHAPTER 7

  Edie and I'd spent the day getting Preston’s nursery ready. We'd added a potty chair in my bathroom. I was going to see if she was ready to start toilet training. My father was equally excited about her coming to stay with us.

  I'd gone shopping to get more clothes for her since it seemed as if she grew in leaps and bounds. I'd not seen her for three and a half weeks. I'd bought more puzzles and storybooks for her because she loved to be read to and we'd make a game of putting the puzzles together each taking turns.

  When I heard the bell ring downstairs, I flew down the steps as Margo the new head of staff answered the door.

  Trey was standing there with Preston in his arms. She had her thumb in her mouth looking incredibly sweet in her new winter coat with her knit cap and matching mittens.

  “Mamma,” she squealed seeing me at the bottom of the staircase. She leaned away from Trey holding her arms out to me. I was right there to take her into my arms, holding her close.

  “My sweet baby,” I breathed cuddling her to me.

  She immediately wanted to nurse, tugging at my sweater with her hands. She'd not nursed in months. How strange was that that she'd still remember?

  “No, honey,” I said. “You’re a big girl now. You drink from a cup.”

  “Num-num,” she whined squirming unhappily in my arms.

  I looked at Trey and caught his look of disapproval. Oh, I guess now I was a piece-of-shit mother because I couldn’t breastfeed on a whim. He was the one that had wanted her weaned as I recalled.

  “Let’s go get a cracker and some juice,” I offered to appease her.

  “Cacker,” she repeated happily.

  I took her off to the kitchen while my father came out to greet Trey. Once there, I got her coat, mittens and hat off and sat her in the high chair. I got a graham cracker out and a juice box from the fridge.

  “Have you been a good girl for Aunt Gina?” I asked.

  She smiled up at me showing her dimple.

  “Uh huh,” she said, nodding her head up and down chewing on her cracker.

  I could tell Preston was deep in thought about something. She looked so adorable. Gina had pulled her silky dark hair up into a high ponytail and then braided it. It was getting so long. She had a ribbon intertwined with the braid. I appreciated how well she'd cared for my baby girl.

  “Baabby,” she babbled.

  I wasn’t sure if she was referring to Reese or the one that used to be in my tummy. I presumed it was Reese.

  “Baby Reese is your cousin,” I said.

  She was watching me now not really understanding my comment. She finally smiled at me as she drooled cracker crumbs from her mouth.

  “Uh huh,” she answered nodding her head once again.

  Her vocabulary was rather limited, but I enjoyed our conversation nonetheless. Our little mother-daughter chat was interrupted when my father came into the kitchen totally delighted to see his grand- daughter. He lifted her from her high chair commenting on how big she'd gotten. She put her chubby little arms around his broad shoulders as he carried out to the living room where her huge crate of toys resided.

  “Tylar,” he said quietly to me, “I had Margo prepare the guest suite for Trey. It makes no sense to banish him to a hotel.”

  “Dad, that's fine,” I answered. “I suggested the same thing to Trey myself.”

  “Good,” he replied. “I’m glad we're on the same page.”

  He went off to play with Preston while I went upstairs to see about Trey. It would be totally strange to have him here in a separate room. I passed Margo in the hallway and she pointed out which room was his. I knocked softly on his door.

  “Come in.”

  Trey was sitting on the bed with his iPad. He was probably checking his emails. He looked over at me expectantly.

  “I just wanted to thank you for bringing Preston to me.”

  “I believe a child of her age needs more time with her mother. I know that she has missed you. Gina said she's been incredibly fussy while she had her.”

  “I need to call Gina. It seems I’ve been remiss in keeping in touch with her as well. How's Reese?”

  “He's fine. Mom called earlier today. She's going to come down to visit her grandson next week. I guess Nigel and Tess’s baby's due in a few weeks.”

  “I bet she's excited to have all of these grandchildren to fuss over now,” I commented smiling at him. “So, what did you tell her about our situation?”

  Trey pulled me over to where he sat on the bed so I was next to him. I felt my heart flutter with his nearness. I knew I still loved Trey with all my heart. I just didn’t like him at the moment.

  “I told her the truth,” he said. “She's understandably furious with me. It doesn’t have to mar the relationship that you two have. I hope that it won’t.”

  He had his arm around me pulling me closer to him. I didn’t turn my head to face him. I was afraid to be that close to him. He ran his fingers through my dark shiny locks. He lifted my hair away from my neck. I felt his warm breath on my skin sending shivers up through me.

  “Why did you change your hair to look like Amber’s?” he whispered against my neck softly.

  “Don’t you like the look?” I asked.

  “You're much more beautiful than she could ever be. Don’t you know that?”

  His lips brushed the back of my neck; he started planting soft kisses on my skin. His lips were warm and soft; all I could think about was the memory of watching Trey’s lips and mouth thoroughly kissing Amber’s that day. The memory caused a wave of nausea to run through me. I jumped up from him quickly. Trey reached for me to pull me back to him.

  “Tylar, for Chrissake, I’m your---”

  Just then Trey’s cell phone rang with a pre-set tune. It was Carrie Underwood blaring out the song, “Before He Cheats.”

  “What the hell?” he asked looking down at his cell genuinely puzzled.

  “Hello?” he answered frowning. “Why are you calling me about that?”

  There was a short pause while whoever was on the other end of the phone apparently explained why the call was made.

  “No, the Motion in Limine was filed the day before yesterday. If you can’t locate the file-stamped copies they are on Pacer by now to access. Tonya can get e-copies for you.”

  Another pause.

  I was freaking curious by this time.

  “I can’t really talk now. This can all wait until I'm back on Monday.”

  Trey ended the phone call. I had to know who it was though I suspected that I already knew.

  “Your girlfriend Amber?”

  “My colleague Amber,” he retorted obviously annoyed.

  “By the way, I really like the personal ring tone you set up for her, ‘Before he Cheats,' really, Trey?”

  “Hey,” he snapped grabbing me once again, “I don’t even know that fucking song. She must've programmed it to my phone.”

  “Really? And when would she have had the opportunity to do that?”

  “Tylar, for the love of Jesus, I don’t know!”

  He was exasperated by the line of questioning. So what? I would dam
n well like to know when she would've had access to his phone.

  As if reading my mind he'd given it some thought.

  “Hell, I lose that damn phone on a daily basis. It was likely just a prank.”

  “If that's true,” I countered, “how would she have known your password in order to download the tune?”