Sinister Shadows

by Brittany Cournoyer

  “Don’t say anything. The way you froze up when I tried to give you a little kiss said enough.”

  “Pierce…” Duncan started to argue but trailed off.

  Pierce stood and stalked toward the door. “Save it, Duncan. There’s nothing worse than knowing you can’t stand for me to touch you. A man can only feel his husband freeze up at any touch for so long before it starts to take its toll. I have errands to run, so I’m sure your ungrateful ass will be fine for a few hours on your own.”

  “I’m not ungrateful!” Duncan shouted as his eyes started to sting with tears.

  “Really? Because your actions are telling me something completely different. ‘I want milk, not orange juice. ‘I’m tired of being in this room, so I want to go somewhere else.’ ‘I reinjured my ankle and want to return to the hospital, though we can’t afford it.’ ‘I don’t want you to kiss me, even if it did help me have a memory.’ What next, Duncan? Will you want different food? Clothes? Hell, maybe an entirely different house, even though buying this one put us in financial strain. Maybe being in here on your own will make you realize everything I’ve done for you!”

  With those final words, Pierce left the room, and Duncan could hear the heavy thud as he stormed down the stairs. A few seconds later, the door slammed shut.

  His entire body was trembling, and tears trickled down his face as he sat there in shock. Duncan wasn’t sure what’d happened for things to escalate as they had, but Pierce’s reactions had left him shaken to the core.

  As he sat there on the bed, he wasn’t sure what kind of mood Pierce would be in when he returned, and Duncan was actually scared to find out. Would it be the caring man who went out of his way to help Duncan or the angry one who threw a fit when he didn’t get his way? As he contemplated those thoughts, he realized just how isolated he was in that house.

  Chapter Nine

  Pierce’s foot pressed the accelerator to the floor as he sped down the road, making the needle to the speedometer increase with each revolution of the tires. His grip on the wheel was so tight his hands ached, and his entire body was shaking with anger. But his anger wasn’t at Duncan; it was at the entire situation.

  He’d finally been able to touch—to kiss—his husband, and all he got was pushed away. When would this end and he’d have his husband back? That question caused a whole round of different questions. Would he ever remember? If he did, would he be how he was before? And the biggest question of all: would he still want to be married to Pierce and continue the life they’d been working so hard to build together?

  The unknown was something Pierce didn’t like to think about. It was a place he couldn’t visit, and a thought he couldn’t fathom. With his type-A personality, Pierce was someone who liked to be in control and have his fingers in many different pies. The unknown took away that control, and it left Pierce feeling very unsettled.

  As his car hurtled down the road at top-speed, his mind whirled with countless thoughts, and by the time he turned into the parking lot with his tires squealing, Pierce’s anxiety was at an all-time high. He pulled into the first spot he saw, not caring that his car was at an angle or that he was taking up another space, and he threw the gear into park. Leaning back against the seat, Pierce squeezed his eyes shut and concentrated on his breathing to rein in his emotions.

  This, his anxiety, he could control. His emotions, he could control. His job, and the people who employed him, he could control. But Duncan was a different story. He loved how Duncan was independent, but Pierce wanted Duncan to come to him for help. Pierce wanted to be wanted. He needed to be the person Duncan went to for all his needs. He longed to be Duncan’s husband in every way possible—not just to make him meals and help him to the bathroom.

  Pierce’s arms yearned to wrap around Duncan and hold him close. His lips desired to be pressed against Duncan’s as they parted so Pierce could sweep his tongue inside. His body ached to feel Duncan—skin against skin. Goddammit, he wanted his husband back. This waiting game was difficult, and Pierce was starting to lose his patience.

  And now, because of his outburst, Duncan was going to be even more guarded than he already was, and Pierce was pissed at himself for it. He had to get back in Duncan’s good graces, but he wasn’t sure how to do it. Flowers weren’t going to work because of Duncan’s allergies, and chocolates seemed too cliché. What could he do?

  Taking another few deep breaths, Pierce shut off the ignition and exited his vehicle to head into the store. Grabbing a grocery cart, Pierce made his way up and down the aisles, filling the cart to nearly overflowing with groceries even though he’d already stocked the refrigerator. But, aside from the meals he’d planned, he wanted to make sure Duncan had enough snacks to tide him over while still immobile.

  Heading to the checkout lane, he passed the refrigerated section where the flowers were stored. Beside the colorful blooms, he saw a selection of different stuffed animals and cards. His eyes immediately went to a particular animal, and after grabbing it, he also snagged a card from a slot before continuing to the cashier.

  Once the groceries were loaded into the car, he made a pit-stop at a different store to pick up a few more items, and then popped into a café to grab a cup of coffee for the trip home. While he was waiting for his order to be filled, he felt a buzzing in his pocket. Taking out his phone, he looked down at the display and frowned when he saw who the caller was.

  “Yes?” he asked when his answered.

  “Hey —”

  “Do I need to remind you of the rule?” Pierce asked and grabbed the cup when the barista announced his order.

  “Right, I remember. No names.”

  “Then why do you insist on breaking it?”

  “I forget things easily.”

  “Sure you do. What do you want?” Pierce asked with clipped tones.

  “I have a job for you.”

  “Perfect,” Pierce practically purred as he climbed back inside his car. “You know what to do with the information. I’ll be in touch.”

  Pierce ended the call and started the engine. His phone buzzed again, and he looked down to see he had an email alert. He didn’t have to open it to see who it was from, and after throwing the car in gear again, he sped out of the parking lot to get home. He had a husband waiting for him and some groveling to do.

  The groceries took some time to put away, especially since Pierce wanted to make sure everything was organized by the meals he’d planned. Knowing he’d be the only one getting in the fridge helped with some of his anxiety.

  Once everything was put away, he set to work on writing an apology on the card. The words didn’t come easily, and it took him a while to express what he was feeling. He’d start to write it down, only to change his mind.

  Pierce wasn’t a wordsmith, and he didn’t have a poetic bone in his body. Groveling wasn’t something he was accustomed to doing, and he wasn’t sure how to convey his thoughts onto a card. After starting, stopping, and trying again, he finally settled on something short and sweet.

  I’m sorry I was an asshole. Will you please forgive me?

  Shoving the apology card—decorated with a dog giving huge puppy eyes begging for forgiveness—into the envelope, he grabbed the stuffed animal and carried them upstairs to their bedroom. When he went inside, he saw Duncan was stretched out on the bed watching a movie. Seeing him like that, not even looking in his direction, had Pierce feeling more uncertain than ever.

  “How are you feeling?” Pierce finally asked to break the awkward silence.

  “Fine,” Duncan replied. His voice was short, and he kept his focus on the laptop.

  “Do you need anything?”

  “No.”

  Pierce took a hesitant step into the room. “I, uh, I have something for you.”

  Duncan didn’t look up as Pierce took a few more steps. He knew Duncan was still upset with him and that it was better not to push. Instead, he placed the animal and the card on the table. Disappointment settled in his stomach w
hen Duncan didn’t look in his direction or say anything to him.

  “I’ll go make you something to eat.”

  Turning around, he made his way out of the room. After throwing together a grilled cheese with some chips and a banana, he carried the food back upstairs and was surprised to see Duncan holding the animal with the opened card discarded beside him on the bed.

  “A tiger?” Duncan asked when Pierce moved to set the tray on the bed beside him.

  “We went to the zoo on one of our dates, and the tigers were your favorite part. Seeing your excitement over them, I started calling you Tiger.”

  Duncan looked down at the tiger holding a red heart and sighed. “I wish I could remember.”

  “You will, you just need to be patient,” Pierce said. The words were also something he needed to remind himself.

  “How come you haven’t called me Tiger yet?”

  Pierce shrugged. “I didn’t want to confuse you any more than you already are.”

  “You were an asshole,” Duncan said and jerked his chin toward the card.

  “I was, and I am very sorry.”

  “Don’t let it happen again.”

  “I won’t. I need to remember patience the same as you do. We’ll learn together. The way husbands do everything else.”

  Duncan blew out a slow breath and nodded. “Thank you for my tiger.”

  “You’re welcome. Do you need anything else before you eat?”

  “The bathroom would be nice.”

  “You should’ve said something sooner,” he said with a chuckle before he helped Duncan to the bathroom.

  As they made their way back to the bed, Duncan surprised Pierce by giving him a soft kiss on the cheek. “Thank you…for everything. I know I seem ungrateful, and I need to work on that. I can blame my frustration and wanting to be independent on my attitude, but it’s not an excuse. I appreciate all you’ve done for me. I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you.”

  Pierce’s cheek tingled from the brief touch of Duncan’s lips, and he longed to turn his head to press his own lips against Duncan’s. Instead, he forced that urge back down and opted to give him a smile, instead.

  “It’s okay, honey. We’ll get through this. After all, what are husbands for?”

  Once Duncan was settled back on the bed, Pierce left him to go downstairs and attempt to get some sleep before leaving for the evening. Taking care of Duncan had taken up a bit more time than he’d realized, and he needed a clear head for his new assignment. But Duncan came before anything else, including his new job. Besides, after a nap, he’d be refreshed and ready to tackle the assignment waiting for him in his email—something that’d make his client very happy.

  Chapter Ten

  The grilled cheese had been cooked to perfection, and the banana was ripened exactly how Duncan liked it. He also had a small pile of sour cream and cheddar chips on his plate, as well as his prescriptions and two pills that looked suspiciously like vitamins. Pierce had also given him a glass of milk. Duncan knew the vitamins were to replace whatever he was losing by not drinking the orange juice, and he appreciated Pierce’s attempt to ensure he received his daily dosage.

  After eating until he was full, he took his medication and a few sips of the milk. It tasted funny, and Duncan was sure it was due to the food he’d eaten with it, so he took a few more drinks. The thickness of the milk had him questioning if it wasn’t store-bought, and he wondered if Pierce had bought an organic kind since it would be healthier. That’d be the only other reason to explain the tangy aftertaste.

  The weird taste was too hard to get past, and he couldn’t bring himself to finish off the rest of the milk, so he set the tray to the side with the glass a little over half full. Pierce would probably be upset about the wasted milk, but Duncan just could not bring himself to choke it down. It was worse than the orange juice.

  After settling back against the pillows, he popped in a different DVD and waited for the movie to load. But his curiosity got the best of him, and he minimized the screen as soon as the menu popped up. For once, he wasn’t drowsy, and he wanted to look around on the laptop for some games to play. As he started to navigate the cursor on the screen, he immediately went to the internet icon to try and connect it.

  Duncan furrowed his brow when no Wi-Fi options appeared for him to click on. Frustrated the internet was still down, he started clicking on different folders and was surprised to find them all empty. It was as if the laptop were brand new or had been wiped clean. It was empty except for everything that came standard with a laptop.

  Luckily, there were a few pre-loaded games, and rather than watch the DVD, Duncan clicked on Solitaire. It kept his mind busy enough, but he couldn’t help but feel irritated over the fact they still didn’t have internet. He wanted to message his friends and let them know he was okay.

  He was also starting to go stir-crazy from the isolation. The only person he had to talk to was Pierce, and the only view of the outside was from movies. It’d only been a few days, but he wasn’t sure how much more he could take of this. Maybe he’d ask Pierce again to take him somewhere so he could get out of the house for the day.

  After winning three games of Solitaire, he tried his hand at Minesweeper but got frustrated after losing from a few clicks of the mouse, so he gave up. He finally decided to watch the movie he’d loaded and was halfway through when the bedroom door opened.

  “You’re still awake,” Pierce said in surprise.

  “Isn’t it great? I must be getting used to the pain medication, finally. It’s nice to be awake for longer than a few hours at a time.”

  “Why didn’t you finish your milk?” he asked, rather than respond to Duncan’s comment.

  “It didn’t mix well with the chips. Is it a different kind? It was tangy.”

  “Okay,” Pierce said slowly, the muscle working in his jaw. “So, I take it you didn’t like the milk.”

  “It wasn’t that I didn’t like it. It was just...different.”

  “That’s because it’s goat milk. I read it’s loaded with vitamins and protein. It’ll help with your healing.”

  “Oh, I see.”

  “Being out here, it’s a little hard to buy a lot of different drinks until you find one you like, Duncan.”

  Duncan instantly felt bad for not finishing the milk, especially since he’d asked for it in the first place. “I understand. I’ll try harder to drink it next time.”

  “It’ll help you get back on your feet faster,” Pierce told him.

  “That’s a bonus. Speaking of getting on my feet…”

  “Yes?”

  “Do you think we can go somewhere tomorrow?”

  “I’ll have to check the radar when I get into town. Our internet got knocked out again from an accident, and it’s hard telling how long it’ll take to get it back. But I’m sure we can go do something.”

  “That’d be great. I’m starting to get a little stir-crazy.”

  “I’m sure you are. I’ll get you some snacks, and then I need to get ready for work. We can talk later about going out tomorrow, okay?”

  “Why can’t we talk about it now?”

  Duncan knew he sounded whiney, but he was excited about the possibility of leaving the house, and he wanted to discuss it.

  Pierce grabbed the tray and started to back up. “I don’t have time. I’ll be back with your food.”

  Duncan wanted to argue but didn’t say another word. Instead, he watched Pierce retreat from the room and then heard his footfalls on the steps. He grabbed the stack of DVDs and shuffled through the movies he’d seen numerous times before settling on a favorite. Maybe that could be their jaunt into town—to a store for more movies. He didn’t want to suggest that to Pierce at the risk of sounding unappreciative, but he was going to lose his mind if this continued.

  A few minutes later, Pierce returned with some snacks as well as a glass of red juice.

  “This is cranberry. It’s tart, but that’s because it’s su
pposed to be. Maybe this will taste better.”

  Duncan grabbed the offered glass and gave Pierce a grateful smile. After taking a tentative sip, he found he actually liked it. “It’s delicious.”

  Pierce let out a relieved sigh. “That’s good. I’ll start giving you that until you get tired of it.”

  “Thank you. I know you’re just trying to be helpful. The medication must’ve put my taste buds off.”

  “That’s a possibility. I need to go get ready for work. Try to get some rest, okay? Especially if we’re going out tomorrow.”

  Duncan’s eyes lit up, and excitement bubbled inside him. “Really?”

  “Maybe. If the weather cooperates.”

  “Have a good night at work.”

  “I will. See you tomorrow, Tiger.”

  The nickname didn’t do anything to Duncan, and no memories were jogged—just like the album. Taking a long drink of the juice, he wiggled around on the bed until he was comfortable and then started the movie. The opening credits began to play, and he grabbed a few of the cookies off the tray to munch on. The cookies were tasty but left him thirsty, so he grabbed the juice to take a few more sips. Much to his surprise, the glass was almost empty, and he realized he was much thirstier than he’d thought. But then the movie started to play, and he felt the familiar stirrings of fatigue.

  Duncan tried to fight it off. He sat up and blinked rapidly as he tried to focus on the movie, but it wasn’t possible. His eyes grew too heavy and he could no longer keep them open. Finally giving in to the powerful force of his exhaustion, he laid down on the bed and gave up the fight.

  “I was beginning to wonder if you were going to sleep all day,” Pierce said from the doorway.

  Duncan blinked a few times to clear his blurry vision and glanced around the room in a daze. “How long have I been asleep?”

  “Nearly all day. I tried waking you a few times, but you wouldn’t budge. I was starting to worry, but I figured you needed some rest.”