Going Deep (Imperfect Love Book 2)

by Nikki Ash

  She gives me a confused look, but I ignore it as I stand and head into my room so I can change. When I come back out, she’s put together—she must’ve used my guest bathroom—and checking her cell phone.

  “You ready?” I ask.

  “I actually need to get going,” she says as she pulls her purse over her shoulder. “Thank you for taking me to see my mom today.”

  “Giselle, wait.” I move in front of her so she can’t run. “What happened a few minutes ago…” My eyes dart over to the couch.

  “Was a mistake,” she says, finishing my sentence for me. She pushes against my chest to move me out of her way and saunters out of my apartment, closing the door behind her before I can even argue. It takes me a few seconds to think about what just happened, but once I do, I run out my door and down the hallway to chase after her. Only, when I get to the elevator, she’s already gone. I consider texting or calling her, but decide it’s best if I give her some space.

  Fifteen

  Giselle

  “You seem like you’re somewhere else,” Andrew, my date for the evening, points out. We’re finishing our dessert at a new French restaurant in the Upper East Side. The grand opening is tonight, and Andrew requested me to escort him to the event. It wasn’t until right before he picked me up, I had a chance to read through the specifics and saw the line I was hoping wouldn’t be there: nightcap.

  “I’m okay,” I tell him and then take another bite of my Gâteau au Chocolat. I imagine it tastes delicious, but right now everything I put into my mouth tastes like cardboard.

  The waiter comes over and asks if we would like anything else. Wanting to prolong the inevitable, I order a latte to go with my dessert. I feel Andrew’s eyes on me, but I don’t look at him. Instead, I focus on my dessert like it’s the answer to all of life’s biggest mysteries.

  “Giselle?” I hear my name being called and my head shoots up. I would recognize that voice anywhere.

  “Hey, I didn’t know you would be here.” Olivia’s eyes dart back and forth between Andrew and me. Nick doesn’t say a word, but his glare is enough to tell me he either knows about me escorting or he knows about Killian and me. And I know Killian wouldn’t share my secret, which means Killian told him something happened between us.

  “I’m Andrew Parker, Giselle’s date.” Andrew stands and extends his hand to shake Olivia’s and then Nick’s. “I would invite you to join us, but we’re actually just finishing up. The food is delicious.”

  “I’m Olivia, Giselle’s best friend and roommate, and this is my fiancé, Nick. It’s nice to meet you.” I can tell she wants to say more, ask how long we’ve been dating, but before she can, the waiter comes over and hands me my latte then hands Andrew the check.

  No longer wanting to be here, I ask the waiter if I can get the coffee to go. I feel three sets of eyes on me, so I excuse myself to the restroom. “I’ll meet you out front,” I say to Andrew, then give Olivia a quick hug. “I’ll see you later,” I whisper before I scurry away from the table and down the hall, closing and locking the door to the women’s restroom.

  After going pee and washing my hands, I unlock the door and exit. I scour the room to make sure I won’t run into Olivia and Nick again on my way to the front door. When I see the coast is clear, I hurry through the restaurant and out the door. I feel my phone vibrating in my purse, but I ignore it until I get inside the limo with Andrew.

  Then I quickly check to make sure it’s not my mom’s doctors or my sister. When I see it’s Olivia, I put the phone away. The ride to Andrew’s place is quiet. Had we really been on a date, I’m sure he would have several questions for me, but we’re not. I’m getting paid to go out with him. One of the main reasons men hire escorts is to keep things uncomplicated. That’s why Killian hires them...

  The thought of Killian has my stomach churning. Yesterday was a beyond shitty day. Finding out it’s going to cost thousands of dollars to help my mom get better almost drove me into my own depression. The entire drive home my brain wouldn’t stop trying to figure out how to handle everything. But when we got back to Killian’s place and he helped me focus on something else by watching television with me, I was able to breathe again. And then when I fell asleep and woke up in his bed, my heart felt so full. I can’t remember the last time someone took care of me the way he did. When he kissed me, everything around us faded, and for those few minutes while we made out and Killian pleasured me, I was able to just forget all of my problems and focus solely on him. But all too soon it ended. Because when I checked my phone and saw my schedule for tonight from Bianca, reality hit me directly in the face. I’m an escort, and right now more than ever I need the money my job brings in.

  We arrive at Andrew’s penthouse, and once we’re inside, he doesn’t waste any time. He pushes me up against the wall of the living room and his mouth goes straight to my neck. He sucks roughly on my skin, and I find myself pushing him away.

  When he gives me a quizzical look, I say, “Please don’t leave any marks.” He nods once then focuses on unbuckling his belt. He undoes his pants and pushes them down to his ankles along with his briefs. He doesn’t even notice I’m standing here, immobile. I watch as he grips his cock and my heart speeds up. I can’t do this. I can’t have sex with him. My stomach tightens and I push him out of the way. I don’t know where the bathroom is, so I run to the closest sink I can find—the one in the kitchen—and throw up my entire dinner and dessert.

  “Jesus!” Andrew says with a tone of disgust. I glance up and his pants are back around his waist. “You okay?” he asks, but the look on his face tells me he’s not really asking because he cares, but instead because he’s not sure what else to do.

  “No…maybe it was something I ate.” I feel like the worst person for blaming it on the food when there was absolutely nothing wrong with it. I rinse out my mouth and wash my hands.

  “I’m sorry. I think it’s best if I go. If you call Bianca, she will give you a credit.” I glance over at the microwave clock. “It’s still early…I can see if she has someone else available. I’ll let her know it’s my fault.”

  Andrew waves me off. “It’s fine. I’ll have my driver bring you home.”

  When I get home, Corrine and Olivia’s dad, Stephen, are watching TV. They must be babysitting Reed. Olivia mentioned he doesn’t want to sleep anywhere but here.

  “Hey honey.” Corrine stands and gives me a hug. “How are you?”

  “I’m good. If you guys want to head home, I can keep an eye on Reed. I’m home for the night.”

  “Sounds good. Thank you,” Stephen says. They both say goodbye, and once they’re gone, I grab a quick shower to rinse off. When I get out, I check my cell phone to find a text from Killian: I’m taking you to see your mom tomorrow. Be ready at nine.

  Olivia and Nick must not have had a chance to tell him they saw me on a date. Feeling guilty, I text him back: That’s okay. I need to handle this on my own, but thank you.

  When he doesn’t respond, I put my phone to charge and head out to the living room. Any time I watch Reed, I have a tough time going to sleep. I know parents have to sleep when they have kids, but I feel like I need to be awake until his own parents are back with him. I flip through Netflix and stop on Sons of Anarchy. I consider watching the rest of the episode I fell asleep during, but for some reason it feels wrong, like Killian should be here with me to watch it. Well, in that case I’m never going to finish the series…

  Needing a distraction, I grab my laptop and work on a couple proposals I’m presenting to potential clients this week. One is for an office being completely remodeled, and the other is for a couple who are moving in together and want to merge their homes into one. I smile, remembering how cute they were when they explained they wanted to make sure their home felt like it was theirs instead of his or hers.

  When an email pings through, I click on it and see it’s the medical loan company I applied to yesterday. I was told I would know within twenty-four hours if I�
��ve been approved for the loan. I scroll through the email until I find their answer: Denied

  Unsure of where to go from here, I set my laptop down and allow myself to cry. Of course, as I’m bawling my eyes out, Nick and Olivia walk through the door…and behind them is Killian.

  “Giselle!” Olivia drops her purse and runs across the room to me. She throws her arms around me and hugs me tight. “What’s wrong? Did your date end badly?”

  My gaze flicks to Killian who’s standing next to Nick. His jaw is tight and his eyes are shooting daggers straight at me.

  “No,” I tell her. “My mom…umm…” I don’t usually talk about my money troubles with Olivia because I hate for her to feel bad and offer me money. “She needs long term treatment.”

  “Oh, sweetie. I’m so sorry. But that’s good, right? They will help her get better.”

  “Yes,” I agree. “But…umm…I was denied the loan.” Liquid drops of defeat fall down my face as I come to terms with what I knew the other day when the doctors told me the cost of the facility. I can’t afford it. And I couldn’t possibly borrow that kind of money from Olivia. It’s more than I make in a year…hell, it’s more than I make in two.

  “Giselle…” Olivia’s hands come up to my shoulders as she looks me in the eye.

  “Please don’t say it,” I plead. She sighs in frustration but nods.

  “Can we talk?” Killian cuts in. His words are formed as a question, but we both know he’s not really giving me a choice.

  “Sure,” I say as I stand.

  He heads down the hall toward my room. Before I follow him back, I stop and give Olivia a hug. “I love you. Thank you for not offering.” She gives me a sad smile of understanding.

  When I get to my room, Killian is standing with his back to me. He turns around with my phone in his hand.

  “I wasn’t snooping,” he says. “It went off a few times and I glanced at it to make sure it wasn’t an emergency.” He hands me the phone, and I read the messages he saw. They’re all from Bianca, and she’s pissed:

  This is the second date you’ve messed up! I’m taking it out of your pay.

  You’re going out with Andrew again tomorrow night. You WILL make it up to him.

  I’ll email you the information.

  A simple OK to confirm you’ve received my messages will suffice.

  “So, let me get this straight…not even twenty-four hours after I get you off, you’re out with another man.”

  “I wasn’t out with another man,” I say. “I was working.” I set my phone down and look at Killian. The hurt in his eyes is exactly why I told him I could only be friends with him. This is my fault. I shouldn’t have let him kiss me. I should’ve stopped things when they got too heated. But it felt so good to be with a man who wasn’t paying me to make it about him. Oh, no. Killian made sure it was all about me. Pleasuring me like it was his job. And if I’m honest, it wasn’t just the physical part I craved. Killian has done a complete one-eighty. If he wasn’t an athlete, and I wasn’t an escort, I could see myself wanting more with him. Wanting to explore what could be between us.

  Killian steps forward and takes my chin between his fingers. He lifts my face so I’m looking at him. And as if he can read my thoughts, he says, “I know you warned me we could only be friends, but I thought what happened between us yesterday changed things. Since I was in college and made my decision not to have casual sex, I haven’t wanted to try again with someone until now. I assumed you felt the same way…That maybe you wanted to try too.”

  An involuntary whimper escapes my lips. I open my mouth to speak but the lump in my throat prevents the words from coming out. I swallow thickly and attempt to blink back the tears threatening to spill over.

  “I’m sorry,” I choke out. “In another life…if I wasn’t…my mom…” I can’t even form a damn sentence. I shake my head and the salty drops of devastation fall.

  “It’s okay,” Killian says softly. Then he leans over and gives me a kiss on my forehead. His lips linger on my flesh as the tears continue to roll down my cheeks. And then he releases me and walks out my door.

  Sixteen

  Giselle

  “Killian! Open the door!” I bang on his door with my fist. I was shocked when the security guard allowed me to go straight up, telling me I have permanent access. After I’m done with him, I can guarantee he won’t be allowing me access. My mind goes back to this morning at Serenity, where I learned someone paid for my mom’s treatment.

  “Everything is completely covered for the next sixty days while your mother undergoes treatment at this facility. Should any other charges occur, we have the credit card on file.”

  After my jaw dropped in shock, I picked it back up and demanded to know how it was all paid for and whose credit card was on file. Because it sure as hell wasn’t mine. And I’d be damned if Olivia went behind my back and paid for my mom’s medical expenses. The woman in charge of the accounting department confirmed it was Killian. And are you ready for this? When I asked for him to be removed and to refund him his money, they told me it wasn’t my decision! Because my mother approved it!

  Needing answers, I asked to see my mom. I was then informed she isn’t accepting visitors at this time, but she wrote me a letter. The nurse gave me said letter and told me once my mom is up for visitors she’ll contact me. I made the mistake of reading the letter on the subway while on my way home.

  Giselle, my beautiful daughter,

  I am sorry for everything I have put you and your sister through. I’m not sure how I will be feeling tomorrow or a week from now, but right now I am in a good place. I had the pleasure of meeting your friend Killian, and he made me aware of your struggles. I’ve put so much weight on your shoulders, even from a young age. You are strong and independent and I know you would go through hell to help me get better. But he’s offered to help and I’ve accepted. He’s assured me that when I’m better and have my life together, he’ll accept my making payments to him. When the house sells please use the money to get yourself a place. It’s your time to shine. Focus on your future while I focus on mine. My hope is when I get out of here, I will be healed. Maybe I’ll even go back to teaching. Please don’t be upset that I’m not accepting visitors at this time. I just can’t stand the thought of you worrying or seeing me during my bad days. The next time I see you I want it to be on a good note. I love you. It’s because of you I’m still alive and have this chance to get better. I’ll be in touch soon. Please give Adrianna a hug and kiss from me. I love you both very much.

  All my love,

  Mom

  So, here I am on Killian’s doorstep. What am I hoping to accomplish? I’m not sure. But since I can’t speak to my mom, he’s next in line. I can’t decide if I’m grateful or pissed off for what he did. Right now, it’s a combination of both. I know my mom said she made the decision to allow him to help, but he knew what he was doing when he spoke to her! And God help him if he told her I’m a goddamn escort! He’s going to pay for this. For taking the choice out of my hands. And then an idea hits me.

  Just as I’m about to give up on Killian answering the door, it swings open. And standing on the other side is the man I’m looking for…in nothing but a towel slung low around his waist. His hair is dripping wet, and for a moment I’m frozen in place as I watch the tiny droplets of water run down his tattooed chest and over his delicious six pack of abs.

  He clears his throat, and I force myself to look up. When my eyes meet his, he’s smirking like a cocky fucking bastard. He knows exactly what he’s doing. Well, two can play this game.

  “Everything okay?” Killian asks in a concerned tone. “I was in the shower.”

  Wordlessly, I stroll past him and into his condo. I hear the door close behind him. When I turn around, he’s standing less than a foot away from me with his arms crossed over his chest. I refuse to stare at his body, not wanting to get sidetracked. He might’ve started this damn game by going to my mom, but I’m going to win. I
’m the ice queen when it comes to freezing out my emotions. I have slept with numerous men in the last several months and not once felt a single thing toward any of them. Not a single emotion. Not a single orgasm. Not a single ounce of pleasure. Nothing. And I can do it right now. Killian wants to treat me like a whore then I’ll give him what he wants.

  Stepping closer to him, I make sure my game face is on. The one that has men who are higher up than him falling to their knees and begging for me to pleasure them. His emotions are written all over his face: nervous, wary, cautious. He’s unsure of how I’m going to handle what he’s done. And he should be all of those things, because I’m not about to play fair.

  “Everything okay?” he repeats.

  My hand comes up to his neck and I pull his head down slightly until his mouth is only a breath away from mine. “Everything is perfect,” I whisper against his lips before I kiss him softly. He sighs, letting his guard down. He thinks he’s won this game. Only he has no idea that he was never even a worthy opponent. He never stood a chance against me. You don’t date several multi-millionaires for months at a time and not learn a thing or two about how to play the game.

  Rule number one: make him believe you’ve thrown in the white flag. I deepen our kiss for several seconds before I move my lips over to his cheek and across his jawline. I place kiss after kiss across his flesh, working my way down his neck. When he lets out a low groan, I know I have him exactly where I want him. He thinks I’m thanking him for what he’s done for me—for my mom. He thinks, just like that, I’m going to let go of the fact that he went behind my back. He spent thousands of dollars I didn’t ask him to spend. He thinks I’m going to forget he took my choices away. That I’ll just accept I now owe him. Well, he better think again.

  Rule number two: when he thinks he’s won and his guard is down, get him off balance and bring him to his knees. With my hand gripping his neck, I use my other hand to release the towel covering his bottom half. I feel his hard length bob up and hit the front of my thigh. I wrap my fingers around his shaft and stroke him root to tip, making him even harder. He lets out a growl of pleasure, and I grin on the inside that I’m about to bring Killian Blake straight to the ground. Bending at my knees, I continue to stroke his cock as I guide him toward my mouth. I know from experience, the second my lips are wrapped around his shaft it’ll be game over. He said it’s been years since he’s been with a woman, yet it’s only taken me less than a week for him to break every rule he’s ever made.