Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 11

by Fujino Omori

  “He’s the worst.”

  “An enemy of women everywhere!”

  “Go screw yourself, Rabbit!”

  Ahhhhhhhhh…!!

  I’m too scared to even glance in Aiz’s direction.

  “I’m not letting you go until you’ve answered every single one of my questions!”

  “What? That’s—?!”

  Eina takes my arm, and once again I find myself pressed against a woman’s body.

  I turn beet red, then white—my elbow is touching Eina’s chest and all the adventurers are glaring at me. But also because of my idol’s gaze burning into the back of my head.

  It’s like some kind of divine punishment. This must be the price of making Eina cry that day.

  It’s…another woman again…?

  Aiz was acutely aware of Bell’s meeting with Eina.

  ……All women, no men.

  She sunk into a silence that reached the depths of her heart. As she sat with her arms wrapped around her knees, her eyes relentlessly bored into the boy’s white head. She could make out phrases such as just some woman you used.

  He turned red, then white, as rapidly as a quick-change artist. He looked restless.

  Aiz cocked her head to one side, her golden hair spilling over her shoulder.

  “Is Bell…a jerk?” she whispered to herself.

  A moment later, Bell’s cry split the night sky.

  “I’ve been hearing Bell screaming for a while now…” Haruhime said fretfully.

  “I know. I want to warn him not to make so much noise, but since we’re separated, there’s nothing I can do,” Hestia answered, crossing her arms over her chest.

  The boy’s wails were coming from the oculus. Hestia and the kimono-clad Haruhime were in the southwest section of Daedalus Street, practically on its border with the Pleasure Quarter. They had taken up a position on top of an empty tower with a good view of the city.

  “And, Haruhime, please be careful about talking near the crystal because it’ll pick up the sound.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry!” the renart girl said, pressing both hands to her mouth and jumping back from the oculus.

  A number of oculi were lined up on the roof, and beside them was spread a map the size of a carpet. THE LEGACY OF DAEDALUS—its name—was inscribed in one corner. The original Sage had walked the area on bony feet to create the drawing of the Labyrinth District. I wasn’t able to get out much, but I did manage to survey the area, the mage had said. Despite this modest claim of having missed some of the hidden alleys and doors, the map included routes that even residents of Daedalus Street didn’t know about. The hundreds and thousands of figures noted on the sheet—from the widths of streets to the number of potential bottlenecks—made Hestia feel faint the first time she laid eyes on it.

  There was one more important point about the map.

  A number of names was written on it, and they were moving about as if they were alive.

  “Let’s see…it looks like Bell and Supporter are in the south section as planned…”

  “But over in the west, Lady Mikoto and Master Welf haven’t met up with the Xenos yet, it seems.”

  Hestia was on all fours on top of the map, while Haruhime bent over it with her hands on her knees. They were following the various names as they moved around, and Hestia traced after them with her finger.

  The map had been sprinkled with Seeker Powder, one of Fels’s magic items.

  The powder was kept in a large jar. To use it, one would drip blood onto it and sprinkle the reddened substance onto the map. If the donor of the blood was in the area the map showed, their name would appear, along with their location. Hestia and all her familia members had dripped their blood into the jar before giving it to the familiar owl, along with the oculi, to deliver to the Xenos. After the monsters added their blood, the owl brought the jar back to Hestia. She sprinkled the powder onto the Legacy of Daedalus she had received from Ouranos, and the magic map was complete. It allowed her to see at a single glance where her familia members and the Xenos were located.

  The only drawback was that the powder could be used only with maps Fels had created with specialty handmade paper. This magical paper had to be instructed in the proper routes. A carelessly drawn map would not do.

  The huge map of the Labyrinth District displayed everyone’s name in bloodred Koine, except for Fels and Gros, who had no blood to give. Perhaps Fels had been feeling playful, as the words appeared to have been written with a feather pen and moved like chess pieces.

  Haruhime picked up the twin of Welf’s oculus.

  “Master Welf, Lady Mikoto, uh…Please turn at the third corner,” she said.

  “There will be a sewage drain running along the left-hand side of the road. That’s where the Xenos are hiding,” Hestia added.

  “Got it.”

  “Thank you, Lady Haruhime and Lady Hestia!”

  The power of the Seeker Powder and the oculi—which together allowed Hestia and Haruhime to instantly determine everyone’s location and communicate with them—had turned the rooftop into an outdoor command and combat operations center. What happened here would determine the destiny of the Xenos, who would need to make their way through the convoluted maze of Daedalus Street and then into the underground Knossos.

  Since Hestia had zero fighting ability, she was charged with directing the operation from behind the scenes. Haruhime served as her assistant and, in case of emergency, would sortie to give Bell and their other fighters a level boost.

  “Now if only this told us where the enemy was, too, it would be perfect,” Hestia said.

  “That is true…If that were the case, we could get through this whole thing without bumping into Loki Familia at all.”

  Hestia moved off the map, sat down cross-legged, and gazed out at the central part of the Labyrinth District, where she suspected Loki Familia had located their headquarters.

  Of course we can’t ask them for their blood…

  The image of a certain goddess’s face floated in her mind, and her thoughts jumped back in time.

  “Loki. I want to talk to you about the armed monsters.”

  It was the previous day, and Hestia and Bell had just separated in Daedalus Street. Those were the first words out of her mouth after he left.

  “Now, and alone.”

  “…Sure, whatever. As long as it doesn’t take too long.”

  Perhaps there was something in Hestia’s serious expression that made Loki agree; she followed her to an oval courtyard with a fountain in it.

  “The monsters who appeared on the surface are called Xenos. They are intelligent,” Hestia said.

  She went on to explain everything she knew about the Xenos and her familia’s connection to them. It was a gamble. Knowing Loki, it was quite possible that she would find the information amusing and broadcast it to the whole city. But if she knew the truth about these recent events, it would surely have some impact on Loki Familia. Hestia spoke with the hope that Loki would act with some semblance of a goddess’s character.

  “Wow…Monsters who can communicate.”

  Loki didn’t seem especially surprised by Hestia’s words. She narrowed her vermilion eyes.

  “So now that you’ve spilled the beans, what do you want from me?”

  “…I want you to help us live peacefully with the Xenos. Maybe that’s too much—if you would just ignore them for the time being—”

  Loki interrupted her with a mocking laugh.

  “What are you, an idiot?”

  With those five words, she dashed Hestia’s hopes.

  “…!”

  “Little girl. Do you know who the leader of our faction is?”

  “…Braver, Finn Deimne?”

  “And what’s the name of our faction?”

  “…Loki Familia, the strongest faction in the city?”

  “You’re damn right it is. Finn is the hope of the prums and the star of Orario. It’s kind of a pain, but we’re the top familia in th
e city. Do you have any idea what people would do if we sided with the monsters?”

  Hestia could find nothing to say.

  “If I tried to force my cute little children to do something like that, they’d laugh me out of town. They’d say, ‘Loki, you’ve taken your jokes too far. Time to quit your fun and games.’ They might even turn against me and leave. As for Finn, he’s been in this for his own interests from the start—he wouldn’t think twice about deserting me.”

  Contrary to her comment about Finn’s coldly calculating attitude, Loki actually seemed to be enjoying herself.

  “What Finn wants is fame for reviving a familia. He’s not gonna do anything to mess up his own reputation. He can’t. So making nice with monsters is out of the question…Your kids are proof enough of what would happen if people found out.”

  “…”

  “Finn’s ambitions are never going to match up with what you want.”

  There was no way Loki Familia under Finn’s leadership and Hestia Familia seeking to protect the monsters were going to reach an understanding. Strangely enough, Loki was saying exactly what Hermes had told Bell.

  “Anyway, Finn already has a pretty good idea what those Xenos things are like.”

  “!”

  “But he hasn’t told Aiz and the others much. You know why?”

  Since Hestia hesitated, Loki went on.

  “Because it will slow them down. It might make his cute little underlings hesitate before acting. And most of all…if the truth about the Xenos came to light, it would shake the foundation of Orario.”

  Telling everyone about the Xenos might be their salvation, but it also posed a risk to people’s lives.

  Could Hestia honestly say that all the adventurers who learned about the Xenos would remain able to slay other monsters without a moment’s hesitation? She could not. And a moment’s falter would put their lives at risk. That could be fatal for Orario, the city that flourished thanks to the Dungeon’s existence. Finn knew that.

  Hestia did, too. When the fighting between Loki Familia and the Xenos had broken out in the Labyrinth District, neither she nor Fels had broadcast the fact that these were intelligent monsters. They feared taking the irrevocable risk of causing chaos throughout the mortal world.

  Fels also probably knew that Finn would not listen to any of their pleas. If any townsfolk were watching, he would unquestionably kill the “monsters,” even if he knew they were harmless. That was the kind of unwavering spirit and extreme ambition he had.

  “Basically, it’s impossible, right? The idea of our children living together peacefully with monsters,” Loki said.

  “That depends…”

  “A lot of us idiotic gods would probably see it as a mystery or a bit of entertainment. But the children are a different story. They hate monsters with their hearts and souls. That’s why I’m afraid.”

  Loki sighed before continuing.

  “What was that sickness that killed a whole bunch of the children…? Oh yeah, the Black Death. If that sickness wreaked its havoc and then came along saying, ‘Hey, I want to make friends with mankind; I promise I won’t kill anyone else,’ do you think our children would just shake hands and make friends with it?”

  “…”

  “Not a chance. They’d be way too scared. They’d know that even if the sickness didn’t want to, it could make them all suffer and die. On the spur of the moment, as easily as breathing.”

  Monsters had left a swath of destruction all over the world, killing hundreds of millions. Even now, they were killing people. They had menacing bodies, claws and fangs that were the very symbols of bloodshed, flames that invited death, and beastly voices. Everything about them embodied slaughter. Loki was implying that for the inhabitants of the mortal plane, monsters were the same as a devastating disease or natural disaster.

  In this case, the “sickness that wreaked havoc” would be the Xenos. And letting in this “sickness” without a vaccine on hand could lead to nothing but self-destruction.

  “So I’m deaf to your requests. Everything is up to Finn—all our decisions and all our actions,” Loki said.

  Hestia had been looking down and biting her lip, but at Loki’s next words she raised her head.

  “In exchange, I’ll keep my mouth shut about what you told me today.”

  “Huh?”

  “I’m saying I’ll pretend I never heard a thing from you. I won’t tell Finn what your familia is planning to do. I’ll just stand by and watch.”

  “…What are you after?”

  “Oh, this and that…I guess I’m just one of those gods who loves a little mystery and amusement,” Loki replied teasingly before turning to walk away.

  “Wait, Loki!”

  “Bye, Itty Bitty. Thanks for helping me kill some time.”

  With a half-hearted wave, the vermilion-haired goddess disappeared from Hestia’s view.

  I don’t know what Loki is thinking…but it seems like we won’t need to watch her.

  In a sense, she was the most annoying trickster of them all, and now they wouldn’t have to worry about her getting in their way. At least something useful had come from the conversation.

  That was Hestia’s conclusion as she returned her focus to the present.

  “The rest all depends on Bell and the others…” she murmured.

  She looked up. Thinning clouds veiled the night sky.

  The broken watch lying next to the map beside her ticked. The appointed time had come.

  Lido looked up at the deep-blue sky.

  No longer hidden by clouds, it was an endless sea of stars.

  “I’m finally able to see the sky I longed for…but only by sneaking around like this. Perhaps we are creatures of the shadows after all,” he said softly through his fangs, mocking himself.

  The lizardman warrior’s two misshapen, scaly feet were planted on the edge of the dark sewer. He stayed gazing up at the sky.

  He was searching for one tiny hope, fainter than a star, in the infinite heavens.

  “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

  “Welf! Mikoto!”

  “Long time no see…Well, it hasn’t actually been that long…but I’m glad you’re looking well, Wiene.”

  Lido turned around at the sound of Wiene’s happy voice, just in time to see her reunited with Welf and Mikoto. They were carrying a large sack stuffed with stink bags to cover up the scent of Lido and the others.

  With his brethren, he formed a circle around the overjoyed vouivre and humans. The sight of their carefree smiles was priceless. They were the hope of the Xenos.

  Every time Lido saw their smiles, an impudent wish reared its head. What more can you ask for than this? an inner voice warned him…yet still he felt himself reaching out for something more.

  I want a future where we walk side by side.

  “…Lido, it’s time. We’re counting on you!”

  “Ah, yes.”

  At the urging of Fels, who was looking down at the broken watch, Lido emerged from the sewer. Then, with an agility surprising for his enormous body, he scaled a building and sprang onto the roof.

  He looked out over the city submerged in darkness and apologized silently to all its unknown inhabitants. Then he made his decision.

  He filled his chest with air and, in a single rush, let it all out.

  OWOOOoooooooooooooooooo………

  The monster’s howl shook the black night.

  The long, low cry echoed through every corner of the Labyrinth District and out to the edges of the city.

  Adventurers everywhere lifted their heads in unison. Townsfolk shuddered with fear. All of them stopped whatever they were doing. They knew the time had come.

  Once again, the war cry of the resurgent monsters sounded the arrival of upheaval in the city.

  OHOOooooo………

  “They’ve answered,” Fels said, turning away quickly from the sound.

  The shrill howl that rent the night sky just after Lido’s res
embled the cry of a young girl. The siren squinted with concentration.

  “I can hear Fia and Lett but not Aruru…”

  “We definitely would hear her if she was howling. Either she’s keeping quiet or something is preventing her from making any noise…” said the gargoyle.

  The baying continued to echo back and forth across the sky. It was a language that only the monsters understood. Humans and deities could not discern the true meaning of those howls. They were a kind of report communicating each monster’s location, target destination, and all other important information.

  “The most we can do is trust in them and go.”

  At Fels’s command, the Xenos filed away from the sewer, melting into the darkness.

  “Sir Royman?!”

  “What’s that? What’s that? Is something going to happen?”

  The pale Guild chief emerged onto the top floor of the Pantheon and leaned forward over the banister.

  “Are they coming? Are they coming?”

  “It’s a festival! A party!”

  “I wanna go to Daedalus Street! I wanna gooooooo!”

  The gods and goddesses had given themselves over to excitement. As their children cowered, they danced and skipped.

  “Captain!”

  “…”

  The commander of the best troops in the city gazed quietly down at the Labyrinth District.

  “…”

  The jet-black beast looked up at the sky and began walking, its feet guided by the stars.

  Hermes narrowed his orange eyes and spoke into the darkness.

  “So the game has begun.”

  Ever so quietly, the curtain rose on the war.

  CHAPTER 4

  A SKIRMISH IN DAEDALUS STREET

  The strategy began with Lilly.

  “What are those monsters braying about?”

  “Find where those cries are coming from!”

  The howling had sent the adventurers in Daedalus Street into an uproar. Amid the chaos, a young prum boy snuck down a back alley. Once he was out of view, he drew close to a dingy wall and put his hand to his forehead.

  “Stroke of midnight’s bell.”

  A film of gray light enwrapped the boy’s body and then melted away to reveal Lilly, who had just deactivated the shape-shifting Cinder Ella spell.