by Rye Hart
The notebooks were the only thing in Harry’s store that looked new. I picked each one up, flipping it open to examine the pages inside. My own notebook wasn’t yet filled, but I couldn’t resist the urge to buy a few more.
After looking for a long time, I picked two. One was a leather-bound journal, tied with a delicate leather string. The other was a typical notebook, bound tightly with lined pages on the inside. I loved them both. As I made my way to the counter, I grabbed a pack of new pens and added that to my stack. Setting them on the counter, I pulled out my wallet and waited to hear the total.
“Just notebooks, huh?” Harry asked.
“Yeah,” I said with a nod. “That’s it for today.”
“Writing a book?” Harry asked. His eyes flickered to my face with interest.
I just shrugged and looked away. My aspirations to become a writer were personal and private. Harry slipped the notebooks and pens into a plastic bag and handed it to me.
“Thirty-two dollars,” he said.
I fished out a few bills and passed them over. Harry fiddled with his register and then stuffed the bills inside. He grabbed my change and counted it out slowly. I could tell from the way his hands shook that he was beginning to feel his age.
“Thank you,” I said when he handed me the change.
“Come back soon,” he said. “You can tell me all about that book you’re pretending not to write.”
I smiled weakly and left, my cheeks burning with embarrassment. Once outside, I checked my phone to see that it was almost dinnertime. I couldn’t believe I’d spent the entire day wandering through Harry’s store, but I was glad I did. For the first time, I found something to distract me from thoughts of Emily.
When I made it back home, the kids were already finishing dinner. I walked over and kissed them each on their heads.
“Already eating?” I asked.
“Sorry,” Emily said. “We tried to wait, but they were hungry.”
“It’s fine,” I said.
“Did you have fun shopping, Dad?” Tommy asked.
“I did.” I smiled. “Did you have fun with Emily today?”
“Yeah,” Tommy said. “We always have fun with Emily.”
Emily smiled at that and busied herself with the dishes. I took the kids upstairs to get them ready for bed. With Emily around, it wasn’t often that I managed my children’s bedtime routine. I hadn’t realized I missed it until I was lying next to Sarah, reading her to sleep.
She fell asleep fast, resting her tiny head on my chest. I kissed her softly and slowly slid out from underneath her. She flopped her head onto her pillow without waking, and I tiptoed back downstairs.
Emily was still cleaning the kitchen so I grabbed my bag from Harry’s and moved toward my study.
“What did you get?” Emily asked. I turned around with a frown. She pointed at the bag in my hand. “At Harry’s. Anything good?”
My frown deepened as Emily searched my face. I could tell she was trying to get to know me better, to get close to me, to figure me out. It angered me in a way that surprised me. I’d been frustrated with myself for my attraction to Emily, but this was the first time I found myself angry with her. She just wouldn’t get the hint.
I didn’t want to know her. I didn’t want to be close to her. I couldn’t risk it.
“Nothing,” I said, my voice short.
“Obviously, it’s something.” Emily laughed softly.
“It’s none of your business.” My voice was cold and hard.
Emily’s smile fell from her lips, and she just stayed quiet while I turned around.
I marched down the hall to my study. Once inside, I sat down at my desk and ran my hands over my face. Emily was the most infuriating woman I’d ever dealt with. Not only was she always tempting me with that tight fucking body, but she wouldn’t leave me alone. She kept pushing and pushing, trying to get inside my mind. It was enough to drive me insane.
Deep down, I knew it wasn’t Emily’s fault. She was gorgeous and smart, kind and loving. The way she handled Sarah’s breakdown at dinner last night was enough proof that she knew what she was doing. Everything she did exuded caring, but I didn’t want her to care, not about me anyway.
As I sat there, unpacking my notebooks and pens, I thought about how it would feel to let Emily in. After two seconds, I knew it was impossible. Even a sexual relationship with no emotional ties felt insane. No matter how much I wanted Emily’s body or how badly she wanted to know the real me, I couldn’t give in to either desire.
Without thinking, I picked up a pen and started writing. I didn’t even realize what I was putting on the page until I was finished. I’d filled almost ten pages without pause. In all my life, I’d never written that much in a single sitting. With a frown, I leaned back in my chair and read over my words. They were all about Emily. Every single one.
CHAPTER TWELVE - EMILY
Yet another night passed, and I didn’t get more than a wink of sleep. As the sun rose Wednesday morning, I pushed myself out of bed and quickly got dressed. I pulled my long curls back in a ponytail and grabbed my purse. Tommy and Sarah wouldn’t be up for close to an hour so I had some time. After enduring Sean’s coldness for days now, I needed a break, just a minute to myself. I hurried downstairs and disappeared out the front door, walking hurriedly into town.
I picked up some donuts and chocolate milk for the kids, then some coffee for Sean and me. Despite his impolite behavior, it would have been rude for me to exclude him in breakfast.
I sighed as I walked slowly back to the house. I didn’t want to face him yet, not after the way he snapped at me last night, but I knew I didn’t have a choice. The kids would be up soon, and I needed to be there when they awoke.
Just as I walked through the front door, Sarah and Tommy came running down the stairs.
“Donuts?” Sarah asked, gazing wide-eyed at the bag in my hand.
“Yup.” I grinned. “You want some?”
“Yeah!” Sarah and Tommy cheered together.
They both ran over to the table, and I followed them, shaking my head with laughter. Sometimes, it was so easy to please children. A little attention and sugar was all they really wanted. I put a donut on each of their plates and poured them both a tall glass of chocolate milk. They devoured their breakfast in record time, finishing before Sean even stepped foot out of his room.
When he finally did appear, his eyes met mine, and I pointed to the coffee on the kitchen counter. He nodded and moved to grab his cup.
“Thanks,” he said, his eyes focused downward.
I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to the kids.
“Go on,” I said. “Get changed. We can go to the park this morning, but then I want you both to do some reading this afternoon. You’ve been slacking lately.”
“Nuh-uh!” Tommy said. “I read all the time.”
“Not in the last couple days,” I said sternly.
“Okay.” He sighed. “Fine”
I smiled while he stalked upstairs behind his sister. Like always, Sean demanded my attention without even trying. It was as if my eyes were magnetically drawn to him. He glanced at me but quickly looked away. He didn’t speak until the kids came back down.
In those few minutes, I considering quitting. I didn’t know how much longer I could take the tension between Sean and me. He didn’t make it easy to do my job. He was cold and harsh, always ignoring me or snapping at me. It wasn’t right or fair. Still, I knew I couldn’t leave. Both Tommy and Sarah depended on me too much already.
“To the park?” I asked once the kids were ready.
“Daddy, are you coming?” Sarah asked hopefully.
“Sure,” Sean said.
I looked at him sharply, surprised by how quickly he agreed. It wasn’t like him to spend any time with me if he didn’t have to.
We made our way to the front door but never made it to the park. Just as we pulled the door open, a man stepped inside and threw his arms wide.
He was grinning from ear to ear. I didn’t know him, but from the way Sean’s face lit up, he certainly did.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Sean asked, rushing forward to hug the strange man.
“Got tired of waiting for an invite,” he said. “Plus, I wanted to see my favorite little brats.”
“We aren’t brats, Uncle Philip,” Tommy said with a frown.
“Well, not you,” Philip said, placing his hand over his heart. “I’m sorry, Tommy. I was talking about your sister.”
“Hey!” Sarah said, but there was a wide smile on her face.
“Get your cute butts over here!” Philip demanded.
Tommy and Sarah ran forward to hug him. He grabbed them both in his arms and lifted them into the air. They laughed, and I stood to the side, watching.
“Oh,” Sean said, glancing at me suddenly. “Philip, this is Emily. She’s our nanny. Emily, this is my friend, Philip.”
“Ah,” Philip said, looking me up and down. “The nanny.”
“Hi,” I said. “Nice to meet you.”
“You too,” he said, still eyeing me closely.
I let Sean and Philip take the kids to the park that morning, hanging back to give them time together. It was a huge surprise to see Sean’s best friend suddenly appear at the door, but I hoped his presence might soften Sean’s mood.
That night, we all ordered pizza and played board games. Philip was amazing with both Tommy and Sarah. He kept them laughing and even managed to diffuse their many fights. I almost felt useless with him around, but he didn’t let me. Every few minutes, he would make sure to pull me into the conversation. After just a few hours, I’d grown to really like him, mostly because of the way he changed Sean.
Sean wasn’t just softer, he was fun. He was more open and light-hearted. Watching him interact with Philip was amazing. He was like an entirely different person.
I put the kids to bed that night, leaving Sean and Philip alone to catch up. When I was done, I headed back downstairs but froze halfway there. Sean and Philip were talking in the living room, and I distinctly heard my name. I knew I shouldn’t eavesdrop, but I couldn’t help myself. I ducked down on the staircase to listen.
“You like her,” Philip said with confidence.
“It’s not that,” Sean said. “She’s just, I don’t know. I am attracted to her. I won’t deny that, but it doesn’t go beyond that.”
“So, nothing’s happened between you two?” Philip asked.
I held my breath, straining to hear his response over the sound of my heart pounding in my ears.
“We kissed,” Sean admitted.
“But you don’t like her?” Philip asked.
“It’s just physical, man,” Sean said. “It’s not real.”
“That’s bullshit,” Philip said. “God, sometimes you really are an idiot.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Sean asked.
I could hear the frustration in his voice.
“She’s gorgeous,” Philip said. “That much is obvious, but if you could see the way you look at her. Sean, this girl has changed you.”
“Come on,” Sean said with a soft laugh. “You’re full of it.”
“Am I?” Philip asked. “So, you don’t watch her when she isn’t looking? Your eyes don’t follow her when she walks across the room?”
Sean didn’t say anything. I crouched lower on the stairs and leaned forward, trying to hear every word.
“Sometimes,” he finally said. “But it doesn’t matter. She’s here to take care of my kids, Phil. What kind of father would I be if I hooked up with their nanny?”
“It wouldn’t be the end of the world,” Philip said. “Besides, after everything Telissa put you through—”
“We’re not talking about that,” Sean said roughly.
“I won’t,” Philip said. “I’m just saying, it’s obvious that you deserve a little happiness. You’ve been through hell these past few years. So have Tommy and Sarah. From what I can tell, Emily is the best thing that could have happened to all of you.”
“She’s amazing with them,” Sean said. My heart warmed at the compliment. “She dotes on them.”
“She’s good with you too,” Philip said. “When you let her be.”
“I don’t know.”
“Let yourself have this,” Philip said. “At least, see what can happen. You’re right. It could be terrible. But it could also be great. Plus, wouldn’t it be nice to get laid?”
Sean laughed, and Philip quickly joined in. I found myself smiling as I listened to the rest of their conversation. I stayed perched on the stairs for a while, waiting for the perfect opportunity to make my presence known.
“I should get some sleep,” Philip said. “I’m beat.”
Getting a sudden bold streak, I straightened up and took the last few steps down the stairs. Sean and Philip both turned to look at me. I smiled innocently and moved toward the kitchen, acting like I simply wanted a drink of water.
“Good night,” Philip called to me, making his way upstairs.
“Night!” I called back.
Once he was gone, I walked over to where Sean was sitting on the couch. The strange rush of bravery was still coursing through my veins as I stood in front of him. Without a word, I held out my hand to him.
“What?” he asked softly, all the anger and coldness gone from his voice.
“I heard you,” I said.
He looked panic-stricken for a brief moment. “Heard me?” he said
I dropped my hand and sighed, plopping down next to him on the couch.
“Yes, I heard you and Philip talking. I like you Sean. A lot.”
He looked at me for a moment as if trying to figure out what to do next. I decided to make it easy for him. I stood and again reached out my hand.
“Can we just stop fighting this?” I asked. “Please.”
Sean stood up and took my hand. His other touched my hip lightly. His lips were inches from my face. I stood on my tiptoes, ready to feel his kiss yet again, but he pulled away suddenly. I frowned until I felt a tug on my hand. He led me through the living room and down the hall to his bedroom.
We stepped inside, and his lips found mine in an instant. I sighed and sank into him, kissing him hard and fast. My body reacted on its own, lifting me up to press myself firmly against him. He groaned and slid his hands down to my ass, squeezing it in his strong grip.
His tongue slipped inside my mouth, swirling around and tasting every inch of me. I kissed him back, feeling that familiar burning in the pit of my stomach. His hands moved from my ass to my hips, where he tugged on the bottom of my shirt. When his fingers touched my bare skin, I froze. My lips stilled against his, and my entire body went rigid and I was suddenly nervous.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, concern in his voice.
“Nothing,” I said softly, looking up at him. “I just want this so damn much.”
Sean led me gently to his bed and laid me down on my back. He climbed on top of me, moving slowly. He kissed me, his lips pressing lightly against mine at first. As our kiss grew, so did my desire. When Sean finally broke away to move down, I felt my entire body shaking. He lifted the bottom of my shirt just enough to kiss my stomach while his hands expertly removed my jeans and panties.
He traced his lips along my thighs, making me tremble, until he finally buried his face between my legs.
“Oh my God,” I gasped when his tongue flicked over my clit. My hips lifted, pressing his tongue more firmly against me.
His tongue moved hard and fast, sliding over my clit with ease. I could feel my excitement pooling between my legs. When Sean pressed his finger against my entrance, I buckled. He pushed slowly inside while his tongue continued to edge me closer to the brink.
With his finger fully inside me, he curled it upward and pulled out slightly before pressing back in.
“Sean,” I breathed desperately. “Oh God. Yes.”
He moved faster, his finger working
tirelessly along with his tongue. I arched my back and gripped his hair in my hands, panting and moaning with abandon. In that moment, everything else disappeared. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t feel anything other than the pleasure Sean was pulling out of me.
“Yes,” I whimpered softly. “God, Sean, don’t stop. Oh God, please don’t stop.”
Sean moved even faster, and I came undone. My toes curled and my legs pulled up when the rush of ecstasy finally overwhelmed me. Turning my head, I bit down on Sean’s pillow to keep from crying out. I knew my pleasure was too great. If I let myself, I would have screamed so loud, it would have woken everyone in the house.
“Oh my God,” I whispered when Sean finally pulled his face from between my legs. He crawled up to lay beside me, placing a gentle kiss on my lips. “That was amazing.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” Sean laughed.
“Can I return the favor?” I asked, raising my eyebrows and rolling toward him.
Before he could answer, I got to my knees and pushed him off the edge of the bed so that he stood before me. I took in the enormity of his raging, erection and my insides went liquid. I leaned forward and touched my tongue to his tip, which already wept with his desire for me.
I pulled him into my mouth fully and sucked greedily as he fisted his hands in my hair and groaned low in his chest.
“Jesus Christ, that feels good,” he said, pushing his hips toward me as I bobbed my head back and forth on him.
I reached up and wrapped one hand firmly around his base, my fingers barely touching around his girth. I hummed my appreciation and heard his sharp intake of breath at the sensation. I worked my hand up and down his shaft as I licked and sucked, popping him out of my mouth and then devouring him all over again.
I felt his fist tighten in my hair and he tried to pull me off. I shook my head and increased the pressure of my mouth on him.
“I’m going to come,” he stuttered out.
I hummed again, taking him so deep that his bell-shaped head bounced off my tonsils. He jerked and spasmed, grunting as he spilled his salty seed down the back of my throat. After I swallowed the last of him, I pulled off and smiled up at him.