Chaos (Kardia Chronicles) (Entangled Teen)

by Christine O'Neil

They were mine.

  So I’d tamped them down, and I’d fought them like she said, but I also let them out sometimes because part of me knew they wasn’t supposed to be squashed all the time. Even just in my room by myself, I’d blast the crap out of stuff, melting old toys, sucking the energy from my little treasures, once that compulsion had started.

  Okay, so maybe if I’d listened to her, the whole Eric incident wouldn’t have happened. Or maybe it would have gone a much different way. Supposing I’d been of age and had managed to bind my powers. To send them into a dormant stage like she and Gram had done with theirs. Eric was so much stronger than me, there would have been no fighting him off. Would he have finished the job he’d started?

  “You don’t know what you’re dealing with here, Maggie. You’re a child. I told you what I did to save you from this life. It’s not worth it; I can promise you that.” She stood and bent toward me, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “Now come into the kitchen. I’ll make you something to eat.”

  I jerked my head away and glared at her. “You’ve reassured yourself that I’m following orders, so the discussion is over? Maybe you want to offer me some fucking strudel?” I demanded.

  “Margaret!”

  Screw that. This wasn’t going to be over until I said it was over. I was sick of being left in the dark. I flicked on the lamp next to me as a symbol of my defiance. Because I was definitely sticking to the second part of my vow. She might not tell me today, but I was going to ask. Over and over until she did.

  “I want to know why.”

  She looked paler in the harsh light, but I didn’t back down.

  “Why won’t you talk to me? Help me learn how to control this thing?”

  “Because it can’t be controlled. Not entirely. And I don’t want you to have to live with the consequences of what you are any more than you already have to.”

  Her words were so quiet, I had to strain to hear the last.

  “Mac isn’t human.” It wasn’t a statement. I’d tossed it out there between us like a challenge. The so fuck you on the end wasn’t spoken, but it was no less potent and obvious.

  She flinched and fell back heavily into Dad’s seat.

  “What is he, then?”

  The tension in her voice was so taut I half expected her to burst into tears. The new rebel in me that had sent out the opening arrow retreated.

  “A semi. I don’t know what exactly.”

  She digested that and shook her head slowly. “I don’t understand. What god does he descend from?”

  I watched her closely. “I don’t know.”

  She didn’t react, but that didn’t mean anything. She was pretty used to people keeping secrets.

  “Tell me what you do know.”

  I shrugged. “The Council sent him to help me after what happened with Eric.” Not totally accurate, but if I told her the whole truth, I’d never leave the house again. “I don’t know a whole lot more than that yet. I thought you’d know.”

  She shook her head slowly and squeezed the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. “The Council isn’t something to play with. I don’t know too much about them; I was never overly involved. Your grandmother shielded me from most of it, and then later… Well, let’s just say I’ve been out of that world for a very long time. For most semis it’s live and let live. We mind our own business, try to live normal lives. There are some families who get involved in the politics, but aside from an annual census check-in, we’re not required to stay in touch or to be involved in the community. After generations and semis choosing human mates, oftentimes the power fades, like it was never there to begin with.”

  And that was what she’d hoped had happened with me. Only it hadn’t.

  “I know I was a disappointment,” I said in a low voice. I grabbed her hand and then pulled it away when she didn’t grip mine back. “I wish I was different.”

  She let out a short, guttural laugh. “It’s not you who was a disappointment, Maggie. I’m the one who let everyone down. You, your grandmother, your dad. I couldn’t play the hand I was dealt, and I screwed it all up.” She met my gaze and touched the tip of my nose with her index finger. “You look just like him. You always did, even as a baby, except for those big, clear green eyes blinking up at me. And I was so happy because I thought, ‘She doesn’t look a thing like me. Maybe she won’t be. Maybe she’ll be strong like her daddy. Human like her daddy.’”

  I sat back, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. So I had let her down, despite what she said.

  “And when you weren’t, it was a shock, but never was I for one second disappointed in you. I just didn’t know how to handle it. Didn’t know what to say or do to make you okay. This whole thing drove me crazy, you know. My mother told me when I was only ten, and I knew what was coming, did all the right things to prepare, but nothing could prepare me…”

  She bit her lip and pushed forward, in spite of the tears shimmering in her eyes. “What I’m trying to say is that just because I wasn’t strong enough to handle it, I assumed you weren’t, either. And now that I realize you might be, I don’t have a clue how to help you. I wish I did. But it’s like all that stuff I learned was wiped from my memory. I think I blocked it out when I decided to cut off that part of myself, you know? I wish I could get it back for you, but it’s gone.”

  “It’s okay, Mom. Mac is helping me—”

  “Mac is a stranger.” She slammed her hand on the table and gasped when it connected with a crack. “I’m sorry. It’s just, the old ways are tricky, Mags. There are things that happen in the inner circles that I don’t have any knowledge of. And the one person who does in this house is barely coherent most days. What I do know is that whenever someone is brought in from the Council like that, it’s a concern. Gram always told me that the Amaranthus were a ruthless lot, and we dealt with them as little as possible. If Mac was sent by them, I’m concerned about his motives.”

  She wasn’t so far off the mark. At least, at first. “He told me his motives, and I believe him. Now he’s trying to help me.” That was an exaggeration, but I patted her hand reassuringly. At least now I was starting to believe it. Back at the school, he’d been all set to take the blame for our almost-botched burgle. Twice. That told me something about him…his character, and now I was convinced that, if he could see a way to help me out of this mess, he’d do it.

  Then I thought back to earlier when I’d disarmed the alarm. “He’s taught me some techniques and I’m getting better at controlling the energy already.” That much was true, but it was all I could tell her. She’d never let me continue if she knew the rest of it. That if I failed, I’d leave and come back a different person.

  If you come back at all, a tiny voice in the back of my mind murmured.

  She blew out a breath and with it a whisper. “It’s just, when you start thinking that, things get even worse. Tell me this.” She leaned in and grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at her, her eyes pleading. “Is there anything I can do to change your mind? Anything I can say to make you go back to doing what we’d talked about and dealing with the pain until it goes dormant?”

  I shook her loose and shot to my feet. “No. And you need to stop trying. This is a part of me, and you wishing it wasn’t won’t make it go away.” I turned to stalk from the room, but her voice stopped me in my tracks.

  “I’ll help you, then.”

  “What do you mean?” I pivoted to face her, guard up. This was probably just another attempt at manipulating me. “You said your powers were dormant, and you hardly remember anything. How can you help?”

  “They are. But your grandmother had books. Hundreds of them. They’re in storage. I’ll get them out, and you can read them. It’s all there. The different semis throughout history, how each of our powers differs, about the Council of Amaranth. All of it.”

  My lip quivered and all the emotion I’d been holding in bubbled up.

  Mom came closer and held my gaze. “Knowledge
is power, like you said. So if you’re not going to take my advice and walk away from this, then we have to make sure you’re armed and ready for what’s coming. And believe me, something is coming. The Council doesn’t involve itself in petty little human issues. The injury of one boy would hardly catch their eye, never mind merit some sort of elaborate investigation. This goes deeper, and you’ve got to find out how deep.”

  Her words scared me but they also wrapped around me like a blanket. Shit was bad, but I wasn’t alone. Not anymore. Mom was going to help me; I had Libby and Bink, even though he didn’t know…and now I had Mac. At least for the next four weeks.

  He’d started out as my enemy and now he was becoming my savior. If he hadn’t come, this thing with my mom would never have happened. Now we were like our own little army. Mac would help me with the physical stuff and Mom would get me the books so I could learn our history. Everything was going to be okay. I was going to be okay.

  It was the first time since this had all started that I honestly believed that.

  Of course, “okay” and “me” rarely went in the same sentence these days.

  …

  That day at school, I made all the right moves, said all the right things, but my heart wasn’t in it. Despite the piece of paper I’d found stuffed into my backpack after I’d covered the slats of my locker in duct tape, I couldn’t wait to meet Mac that afternoon and start working. It was like a whole new world had opened up to me, and I was dying to dive in headfirst. Plus, something between us had shifted last night, and I wanted to see if it was still going to be that way the next time I saw him.

  Luckily, Hortense hadn’t noticed the crack in the window and hadn’t mentioned the note that Mr. Banto had moved furniture to secure for her. I kind of figured she wouldn’t, since Mac and I had basically whipped off a pretty impressive poem about life as a bubble in about eleven seconds flat, and then stuck it where the other paper had been. No teacher could take exception to it.

  I am a bubble, flying high and free

  A bubble with a rainbow inside of me

  I’m flying over fields and a tall oak tree

  And except for my rainbow, you can’t see me

  I know it won’t be long

  I’ll hit that old tree and then be gone

  But until then, I’ll fly around

  Until my rainbow hits the ground

  Suck on that, Hortense.

  Things did get a little sketchy during lunch, though, when Libby force-fed me something called “vegetarian chili,” which was apparently code for “nasty little soy nuggets that taste like dingleberries tugged off the back of a hellhound’s ass”. I ate it because I still hadn’t had a chance to ask Mac if I could tell her about him being a semi and helping me, so the whole “get fit for the dance” plan was in full effect.

  I was working on my side salad, still thinking about my lessons with Mac and watching his usual table, stealth engaged, when movement in the seat next to me caught my eye.

  My new art buddy Rafe settled into Bink’s usual seat, and I smiled. “Hey, Rafe.” He looked pretty spiffy, as usual, and wore a long-sleeve Hollister rugby shirt that still smelled like the store.

  “Hey, Maggie.” He set down his tray, and I couldn’t help but stare. Four burgers, two puddings, two jugs of iced tea, and a side of tater tots. It was an enormous amount of food, and even Bink would have been impressed. Speaking of which…

  “Uh, Bink usually sits there. You can sit with us, but can you take that seat?” I pointed to the one right of him and smiled to take any sting out of my words.

  Annoyance snapped in his eyes, but a second later it was gone, replaced by an easy smile. “Sure thing.”

  He slid over and dragged his tray with him. He raised a brow at my mostly empty bowl of beans and salad.

  “You eat that shit?” Rafe asked and picked up one of his burgers.

  “She does now.” Libby set down her tray next to me with a smile. “I’m Libby.”

  “Rafe,” he said, and then proceeded to ignore her completely, focusing his attention on me. Granted, I’d ramped up to a short, fitted sweater and an un-ripped pair of jeans that day—not for any particular reason—but still. Guys never ignored Libby, and it was a little strange. I didn’t have time to dwell on it because Rafe was asking me all kinds of questions. What kind of salad dressing was that, what was my favorite subject in school, what did I do for fun. Before I knew it my salad was gone, and I hadn’t tasted a bite of it, which was most excellent, since salad tasted like green paper. I had just finished telling Rafe about my love of horror movies when Libby piped in.

  “She also likes to dance,” she said, seeming happy to get a word in during the lull.

  That was true, but not something I really wanted to talk about with an almost stranger. It was a personal thing.

  “Are you going?” Rafe asked, his brown eyes locking on mine.

  “Where?”

  Libby groaned. “Where do you think, Maggie? Duh.”

  A slow grin slid over Rafe’s face. “I’m new and even I know about the Snowflake Swirl. Do you have a date yet?”

  Even if I did go to stupid school functions—which I didn’t—I wouldn’t have been going to that one, despite what I’d told Libby. I had enough crap going on in my life that there was no way I was going to add to it by dealing with a cliquey hormone-fest like that.

  “I don’t think she does.”

  I looked up to see Mac sliding into Bink’s seat. Was it Friday the Thirteenth or something? Before today, while oftentimes we had a dozen or so girls doing drive-bys to get a closer look at Bink, we’d never really had anyone try to sit with us. Suddenly our little table had become a hotspot. I could feel Libby’s questioning gaze on me. She was as perplexed by my newfound popularity as I was. So much for flying under the radar.

  “You don’t think she does what?” Rafe asked, the smile fading from his lips. He sat up straighter and, unless my eyes were broken, seemed to flex his pectoral muscles. I bit my lip to keep from grinning. Boys fighting for the alpha spot. Made me laugh every time.

  “Have a date to the Swirl. Maggie was just telling me the other day she isn’t dating right now. Weren’t you, Maggie? Too busy with school stuff.”

  Mac reached over and plucked the lone radish from my plate, then casually popped it into his mouth, but there was no mistaking the warning in his eyes before his gaze slid lower to inspect my shirt. He ran a hand through his hair and dragged his eyes up to meet mine, but it seemed like an effort. And didn’t that both thrill and fucking annoy me at the same time.

  Even if Rafe was working his way toward asking me out, I wasn’t planning on saying yes. I didn’t even like the guy, so Mac coming over and peeing on me to show dominance was unnecessary, but a twisted, throwback cave-person part of me kinda liked it. Before I could figure out a cool way to put him in his place, another voice chimed in.

  “Mind sliding over, Irish? You’re in my seat.” Bink stood over Mac and stared down at him with a smile that looked more like a dog baring its teeth. Even in light of Mac’s hot and cold routine, I was almost 100 percent sure that none of these guys liked me that way, but they were all acting like a bunch of jealous husbands. The testosterone was thick enough to scoop with a spoon. What in gods’ name was going on here?

  Mac moved smoothly to his feet. “That’s okay, I just came to say hi. We’re still getting together after school, yeah?” The way he said it felt weighty. Like he hadn’t just announced that I wasn’t dating and that we were, in fact, going out later. I glared at him, but short of explaining—which I couldn’t—there wasn’t much else for me to do but nod.

  He had to know I was mad, but he acted like nothing had happened and walked away, leaving all three of my tablemates staring at me.

  “What the hell was that?”

  “Is there something you haven’t told me?”

  “Who is that guy, your dad?”

  They all spoke at once, but I didn’t answer any of them.
Instead, I watched Mac cross the caf toward his usual table, wishing I had the balls to throw my carton of chocolate milk at him. Still, that Cro-Magnon part of me sang with glee.

  Because maybe…just maybe, cool, always-had-it-together Mac Finnegan was jealous.

  Chapter Thirteen

  When the bell rang at the end of the day, I was itching to get out of there and to the house to meet Mac. Partly because I wanted to learn more from him, but mostly because I wanted to call him on his behavior at lunchtime. So when I got there and he hadn’t arrived yet, I was heated and a little shaken. Had he changed his mind? Maybe he was mad at me for some reason only he knew. That would be a real kick in the ass after today.

  I glanced down at my phone and grumbled under my breath. Not cool of him. It was freezing out and he was ten minutes la—

  A hulking shape flashed in my peripheral and something solid hit me from the right. My heart thundered. A short blast of energy shot from me into the hulking figure that had ahold of me as I braced for impact. Only, instead of slamming to the ground, I found myself sprawled across Mac, who had flipped to the side and taken the brunt of the fall. I gasped, and he shook his head grimly.

  “See now? What if you had a niece? Or a nephew? And they came at you by surprise. Someone could be seriously injured by your inability to harness that power.”

  His words were cool, and his jaw was clenched tight, but his eyes glittered with heat. His front was hard where mine was soft, and a shiver ran through me. I shifted, laying my hands on his chest to try to maneuver myself off him. He swore under his breath, then grabbed my hands and pinned them to my sides.

  Want.

  “Stop wiggling around like that.” He sounded like he’d been sucking on gravel, and I narrowed my eyes at him, hoping a show of anger would hide what I was really feeling—which was full-on, horn-dog lust.

  Pulling my meanest scowl, I tugged my wrist in an effort to get free. “I don’t know what you’re so mad about. You attacked me.”

  I wriggled some more, and his breath came out in a hiss, his pupils seeming to swallow the gray of his eyes, turning them to night. Jesus, he was beautiful. I stopped wriggling and stared, caught.