Liar, Liar

by K. J. Larsen

  My heart hammered in my throat. I flew down the hallway, snagged my baseball bat from the coat closet, and raced back to the kitchen. My heart raced in my throat. I tiptoed to the refrigerator, turning the bat ever so carefully so as not to bloody the autograph. I growled to myself. I bet nobody messes with Ken Griffey’s refrigerator.

  I swung the bat over my head and was going for a home run when the fridge spoke.

  “Don’t you ever go shopping?”

  I dropped the bat behind me. The refrigerator door closed and Uncle Joey appeared noshing on a cannoli.

  “You scared me. Doesn’t anybody knock? How’d you get past my premium platinum system?”

  “I stopped by to see how you were doing. Inga said you were in the shower.”

  “She can operate the alarm?”

  “You know your Mama can’t keep a secret.”

  Inga trotted through the door, tail wagging.

  “Slacker,” I said.

  Uncle Joey smiled. “Did Devin apologize?”

  “I got my car back. And Devin’s going to treatment.”

  “He got off easy.”

  “You beat the shit out of him.”

  “Next time he won’t be so lucky.”

  He grabbed a cannoli for the road and I followed him to the door.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  “What for?”

  “For last night. For taking care of Devin. For taking care of everything.”

  “You have no idea.” He smiled and kissed my cheek. “Lock the door and reset that alarm.”

  I poured a big glass of chocolate milk and was reading the paper when Max showed up bearing sausages and pasta salad. I let him in.

  “How’s Tino?” I said.

  “Hung over. He hardly noticed the bullet damage to the car. He asked how the wedding plans were coming.”

  “Tino’s a funny guy.”

  Max pulled a bowl of grapes from the refrigerator and put the sausage and pasta salad on two small plates. He slammed two beers on the table.

  “I love it when you feed me,” I said.

  “You still haven’t told me what Devin did with the diamonds.”

  I don’t know why I didn’t tell Max I had the diamonds. Maybe I’ve worked too long on my own. Maybe it comes down to trusting someone else. I’ve never been very good at it.

  I blew out a sigh. “The guy is a hustler and a druggie. He tried to deal with the big boys and lost his shorts.”

  Max groaned. “Devin lost the diamonds?”

  “They were in his shorts.”

  “You’re certain the—”

  “Zip, kaput, nada.”

  “And we can’t get them back?”

  “Maybe if you’re a psychic or magician.”

  “Damn, Cat. You held a fortune and it fell from your fingers.”

  “More like ripped from my hands.”

  Max was still for a moment, then he rallied and raised his beer. “To the women I’ve loved and the diamonds I’ve lost,” he said.

  I clinked my frosty bottle against his. “To a girl’s best friend.”

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Max rang Rocco and got a name and address that went with AJ’s phone number. The name was Natalie Crane and the address was an apartment in Archer Heights. Natalie didn’t have a rap sheet, I was guessing AJ did. Then I made my call.

  “Harry Kaplan,” the voice said.

  “Hey, Harry. It’s Caterina. Did I catch you at work?”

  “If I was at home with my delicious wife I wouldn’t answer the phone. I’m glad you called.”

  “What’s up?”

  “The wife and I made reservations for our anniversary next month. I’m hoping you can take the kids for three days.”

  I crossed my fingers. “Is Harry Jr. over that pyromaniac phase yet?”

  “The boy hasn’t set a fire in weeks.”

  “Glad to hear it.”

  “I wouldn’t leave matches around though.”

  “Good tip. Does he still stick Jaime’s toys in the blender to watch her cry?”

  Harry laughed. “Kids outgrow these things, Cat.”

  “Gotcha.”

  “I wouldn’t give him a puppy for Christmas though. Jaime’s four and she’s a handful. She puts her brother to shame. Remember The Exorcist?”

  I groaned. Three days with Satan and I’ll never have kids.

  “Thanks a lot. Actually I’m calling about Rita’s laptop.”

  Silence.

  “I’m in.”

  “I told you to leave it alone.”

  “You got a phone call and someone threatened you.”

  “I can’t get involved. I have a wife to protect.”

  “You had to know there’s stuff in there that connected her to Eddie’s organization. Rita saw Eddie the day she was murdered.”

  “You don’t want to go there.”

  “Rita was getting information from one of Eddie’s goons. Did she mention a guy named AJ? I’m on my way to talk to him now.”

  “You’re a dead woman, Caterina.”

  “I don’t get it, Harry. You’re the one person who knew what Rita was into but you didn’t turn the laptop over to the cops. Why is that?”

  Harry huffed defensively. “I didn’t have a chance. I heard Rita choked on a tofu burger.”

  “Nice try Harry. You had every opportunity.”

  “You’re the one who charged into the office—”

  “That electric blue eyeliner was my easiest disguise ever-”

  “And you hitched Rita’s laptop. If anyone should’ve called the cops, it was you.”

  “Don’t you dare lay this guilt trip on me, Harry Kaplan. I can’t believe you’re going to let them get away with this.”

  “They already have.” Harry’s voice was strained.

  “You think they’ll leave you alone after this? You’ve been at the Tribune for thirty years. How many stories have you written that had happy endings?”

  Click.

  ***

  A woman with cascading auburn curls and a baby on her hip answered the door.

  “Natalie Crane?” Max said.

  “Who wants to know?”

  Natalie had clear, astute eyes that only a fool would lie to.

  I stepped in front of Max and flashed both the sharp stilettos I’d changed into and the kind of pearly whites you get with a humiliating adolescence of orthodontry and the nickname Train Tracks.

  “I’m Cat DeLuca and this is Max Pedersen. We’re hoping to talk to AJ.”

  The eyes drilled me. “Are you cops?”

  “No. AJ was working with a friend of ours, Rita Polansky. Did he ever mention her?”

  “AJ doesn’t talk about his job.”

  Just as well, I thought.

  “Rita was killed a few days ago,” Max said and Natalie stiffened.

  “My husband doesn’t kill people,” she said shortly and swung the door but Max stopped it with his foot.

  “That’s not why we want to talk to him,” he said.

  We waited a few beats while Natalie’s frank eyes shot through us.

  “I’m looking for AJ too.” She turned on her heel and we followed her inside.

  The apartment building was a converted warehouse renovated into spacious living spaces. The living room walls were lined with framed prints of rock legends. Two black leather armchairs and an expensive looking couch flanked a brick fireplace.

  “When did you see AJ last?” I said.

  “He went to work Wednesday and I haven’t heard from him since.”

  “Is that usual?”

  “AJ always calls.” Natalie chewed her lip worriedly. “I’ll put the baby down and make tea.”

  “I’ll help.” Max cued me with the bug eyes and trotted after her.

  I prowled through an old desk, going through drawers and thumbing through papers, crayons, play dough, stationary, stamps, a
nd letters. I stuck my head in the coat closet and rummaged through pockets. Nothing. Nada.

  I closed the closet door and a photograph across the room caught my eye. It was a family portrait, possibly a K-Mart special. Mama, Papa, and baby.

  I shuffled to the mantle for a closer look. It was the snake that stopped my heart like a dagger. The tattooed reptile twisted around daddy’s neck and a skull-shaped rattler edged his ear. My stomach twisted. I knew it then. The guy Natalie was waiting for wasn’t coming home. He and I were both at the explosion, but he’d had no chance to survive. He already had a bullet in his head.

  “Tea water’s on,” Natalie announced and joined me at the mantle.

  Max looked at the family photo. “A mini-AJ,” he grinned. “The baby’s a spitting image of his dad.”

  “Without the tattoo,” I said pointedly.

  Max peered closer. “Oh shit,” he said and glanced at the baby.

  “What?” Natalie said.

  “Nothing,” I said brightly. “He thought he heard the tea whistle.”

  We talked weather and baseball and when we drained every drop of tea we stood to leave.

  Natalie blinked back tears. “AJ isn’t coming home is he?”

  “I, uh, I don’t…” I stammered.

  Her intelligent eyes wouldn’t be lied to.

  “It was something in the picture,” Natalie said. “I don’t know what but after that you didn’t ask about AJ again. You stopped trying to find him.”

  “We uh…uh, we…” I stuttered.

  “What?”

  Max held her hand. “We’re sorry,” he said.

  I left Natalie’s apartment with more questions than answers and a sick heart.

  Max hung a loose arm around me and beeped the Buick, unlocking the doors.

  “You OK?”

  I nodded. “Thanks, Max.”

  “What for?”

  I looked into his dark gray eyes and leaned against the passenger door. “Everything. You’re a good friend.”

  “I got your back, babe.” He leaned his hard body against mine and searched my eyes, his lips lowered slowly teasing mine.

  I was getting way over my head. Avoidance was the answer here.

  “We could do Thai for supper.” My voice was about an octave higher than usual.

  Max chuckled. “Take out?”

  “I know a place that delivers.”

  The sound of an engine mixed with images of Pad Thai and hot steamy sex. I turned around, glanced at the driver, and caught a gasp. I jerked back for a double take.

  “Holy shit!”

  Time slowed to a crawl. I watched in horror. Charlie wrestled a 350 Magnum from his lap. Words strangled in my throat and I squawked like a chicken. Max in one cool unfettered motion made Charlie in the green BMW, pulled his Colt 45, threw me on the ground and landed on top of me, his body shielding mine as he fired.

  Gunfire echoed and I went rigid with fear. The engine roared and Charlie bolted. Max dashed to his feet.

  “He’s a dead man.”

  Max quickly hoisted me in his arms, threw me in the car, and climbed over me. The Buick leapt to life and flipped a Uwee, tires screaming in hot pursuit. We were off to the races.

  I hung on for dear life and made my peace with God.

  “I lost him,” Max said finally, turning down yet another street.

  “We got too close, when we found AJ’s house. Eddie won’t stop now.”

  “They must have had this place staked out waiting for us,” Max said angrily. “No one knew where we were going.”

  I stared at my shoes and grabbed my Dr. Pepper Lip Smacker from my purse.

  Max swore. He slammed the brake, slashing fifty to ten mph in seconds. “Who did you tell, Cat?”

  “Uh, maybe Harry.”

  “Harry. Rita’s boss, Harry?”

  “Yep.”

  “Harry is dead.”

  Harry was still at the Trib when we pulled into the employee’s parking lot. We parked next to his Suburban and waited an agonizing forty-four minutes for him to exit the building. It took Max forty-one minutes to cool down and put his gun away.

  Harry unlocked the Suburban’s door with the remote while tugging at his tie. Max and I split. Max followed behind Harry while I came around the front. He whipped his head and his thyroid eyes widened freakishly. He knew he was trapped.

  “Surprise, Harry. I’m still alive.”

  Max’s muscle mass swelled under his shirt and Harry appeared to shrink in his suit. “Who’s that?”

  “Max is my bodyguard. He kills with his bare hands.”

  Max shoved him against the SUV and slammed him in the gut. Harry dropped to his knees.

  “A little late to pray,” Max kidney punched him and Harry collapsed on the ground. Max’s size thirteen’s crunched down on Harry’s ear, digging his face into the asphalt.

  Harry gasped. “They said they only wanted to talk to you.”

  “I want their number.”

  “Okay but it’s a tracfone. It won’t help you. C’mon Cat. Lighten up. They didn’t hurt you.”

  “Only because they missed,” I snapped. “They shot at me. They tried to kill me.”

  “Well that was rude.”

  “Rude?”

  “What choice did I have? My wife, my children…” Harry shuddered.

  “If anything happens to Cat, the safety of your wife and kids will be the least of your problems. Do you understand what I am saying, Harry?”

  The employee door opened and three women strolled to their cars. Max yanked Harry to his feet and he brushed himself off.

  “You ruined my suit.” This guy was unbelievable. Did he not get it?

  Max grabbed Harry by his tie and pushed him behind the wheel. I moved into the passenger seat and Max sat directly behind Harry.

  “I don’t deserve this,” Harry mumbled. “I told Rita to drop it but would she listen to me? One girl from Oregon can’t change the world.”

  Max growled. “If you compromise Cat’s safety again I’ll…”

  “Yeah, yeah, I got it. I’m dead either way.” Harry said.

  “Oh no, Harry, I have something much worse. Max will seduce your voluptuous wife with red roses and chocolates and make mad passionate love to her.”

  “I will?” Max blinked.

  “He wouldn’t!” Harry choked.

  “Max is a hard-bodied love machine.” I fanned myself. “Just look at him. He’s a Viking god. Your wife will fall head over heels and,” I snapped my fingers, “just like that, out you go.”

  “Stop it!” Harry cried.

  We stepped out of the car and Harry peeled out, tires screaming.

  Max growled.

  “Harry’s not so bad really. He’s just,” words failed me, “Harry.”

  “He’s spineless.”

  “Did I mention he punched a priest?”

  “Good. He’s going to hell.”

  “Harry thought the priest was hitting on his wife.”

  Max cocked a brow. “The wife must be gorgeous.”

  “Only to Harry.”

  Max grinned. “And to you I’m a Viking god.”

  “I may have embellished.” I kissed his cheek.

  “What’s that for?”

  “For throwing yourself on top of me when the bullets started flying. Really, you were very brave.”

  Max hung a loose arm around my shoulder. “I can do that even without flying bullets.”

  “Now you’re just showing off.”

  Chapter Twenty-six

  It was after seven and the shadows stretched long as Max turned onto North Michigan Avenue. I was tired, stiff, and wondering if this Viking god does massage.

  “Let’s go home,” I said.

  Max’s brow furrowed.

  “What is it?”

  “You’re not safe at home until we finish this. Eddie’s not going to let this ride.”


  I knew Max was right. Eddie gave me a breather. He figured I learned my lesson until I showed up at AJ’s door. Obviously he didn’t know me very well.

  “This is what I’m trained for. I’m sure the FBI will be more than happy to make a deal with Charlie to indict Harr.”

  “Charlie killed Rita,” I protested.

  Max shrugged. “God will sort it out. Or you can let Charlie make a deal with the Feds, then have your Uncle Joey be judge, jury, and executioner.”

  I balanced my hands like a scale. “God or Uncle Joey, it’s a tough choice.”

  “I’ll take my chance with God.”

  We drove on silently, until my curiosity about where we were going kicked in.

  “I take it we’re not doing Thai.”

  “What do you say we get a couple cheeseburgers, greasy fries, and shakes to go?”

  I made a face. “I say this had better not be my last supper.”

  It was dark when we reached Charlie’s house. We circled the block, checking for his wheels.

  “Charlie lives in this back bedroom?”

  “It’s the one with my pictures plastered on the wall.”

  “You go to the door and keep granny talking. I’ll climb through lover boy’s window and search his room.”

  Grandma turned the porch light on when I rang the bell. I saw her watery eye peer through the keyhole.

  “Cat, is that you?”

  I tasted a sour mouthful of guilt. There are a few absolutes in my life. Not deceiving little old women is one of them.

  Grandma swung the door with a force that shook the hinges. “You have some nerve traipsing over here, little lady.”

  My mouth tasted better already.

  “What’s wrong, Grandma?”

  “Don’t you ‘Grandma’ me, you trollop. Charlie told me everything. I know what you did to him.”

  “Let me guess. I forced him to shoot at me.”

  “You broke his heart. Charlie saw you with that sailor.”

  “That was my brother, Mrs. Ross.” I gave her my best how could you think such a thing look.

  “And the two musicians from Georgia?”

  “Cousins,” I smiled brightly. “I come from a really big family.”

  Grandma’s liquidy eyes stared deep into mine. I widened mine and thought about puppies.

  “Perhaps Charlie misjudged you,” Grandma said.

  “Your grandson is insanely jealous.”