Canyons, Caravans, & Cadavers

by Tonya Kappes

  “Did you overhear Orlando call the woman or man by name?” I asked.

  “The woman was the dead woman,” she hesitated. “I didn’t know it was her until I saw her photo today.”

  “Alena?” I gasped.

  “She came in a few times with him. I think they were dating or something.” Her words started to put pieces of the murder puzzle together in my head.

  “Why do you think that? Were they kissing? Hugging?” My mind started to form yet another theory.

  “I never did see any affection, but when the other guy that died came in to talk to Orlando, he said that when he told the administration about the affair, Orlando would get fired or something.” She was confirming everything I’d been formulating.

  “Oh, gosh.” I sighed and took out my phone.

  “I’ve got to go.” She stood up. “Wait.” She walked around her desk while I was getting up. “Do you think that the coach was blackmailing Orlando and Alena over something?” she asked. “I did overhear something about how Alena wanted the coach to fudge some sort of test.”

  “But who killed Alena?” I asked myself out loud. “If Alena killed both men, who killed her?” I tried to make sense of this theory.

  Until my thoughts were interrupted when the door to the office opened and Mathew Tillman pushed Violet through with a gun to her back.

  “Fancy seeing you here.” He shoved Violet towards me.

  “What are you doing, Matt?” the woman asked in a harsh tone. “I stuck to the story."

  “She stuck her nose in the story along with that one.” He wiggled the gun between me and Violet.

  “What’s going on here?” I put my hands up in the air. “Mathew?”

  “You’re Callie Triplehorn, the double threat.” Violet’s jaw dropped. “You won state a few years ago. I remember them reporting on you. You were the best archery and rifleman, woman, that had ever come out of Normal.” Violet let out a gasp, her eyes grew. “You killed them.”

  “What is going on?” I was so confused.

  “I’ll tell you what’s going on here.” The woman jerked the gun away from Mathew and pointed it at me.

  “Callie, give me that.” Mathew put his hand out.

  “Tie your little girlfriend up.” Callie didn’t take her eyes off of me. “There’s zip ties in the top drawer of the cabinets.”

  “I’m not really sure what’s going on here.” I looked between the two of them, still confused.

  “Let me tell you,” Violet said and kept her hands in the air. “Little Miss Bow and Arrow is the sharp shooter who killed Scott Goodman, Orlando Banks, and Alena Russel.”

  “Shut up!” Callie screamed. “I can’t think. This wasn’t how this was supposed go down, Mathew. Get the zip ties and bind their wrists so we can discuss this. You’re the one who messed this up.”

  “I’ll go get some duct tape.” She gave Mathew the gun back. “Zip ties,” she barked at him before she left.

  “What’s going on?” I asked with big doe eyes. “I thought we had a connection.” I tried to play upon the fact we’d gotten close at school.

  “We had a connection because you were snooping, and I had to keep you close.” He walked over to the cabinet and got out the long, clear zip ties. “From the first day you walked into the school office, I knew you were trouble.” He jerked Violet around. “Then you.”

  “Whatever. I’m a good reporter and when I hacked into Scott’s cell phone,” she looked over at me and continued, “remotely, I might add, I found all the back and forth emails he had with the state board.”

  “You’ll be the first one I shoot,” he told Violet, yanking the zip tie so tight, she yelped.

  “Whatever! You liar! You don’t even have a teaching degree!” she yelled. Too bad the singing coming from the karaoke lounge was so bad and awful, you couldn’t hear anything above it. “You won’t shoot me. Have you ever shot a gun?”

  He threw her to the ground.

  “You don’t have your degree? Masters? Doctorate?” I tried some southern charm, pretending that I was hurt and concerned. “But your superintendent job. . . requires a doctorate,” I muttered when I realized I was in a mess of trouble here.

  Mathew didn’t answer me. He gave me a long stare before he jerking me around and grabbing my wrists.

  “He doesn’t have any degrees and let students cheat on their ACT when he was the administrator. The school had received a lot of funding due to the great scores on the standardized tests, making it one of the best schools in the state. He used that as a stepping stone to pretend he’d gotten his doctorate in order to get the superintendent job,” she spat.

  “I’m warning you.” He was a lot gentler on me when he started to put the zip tie around my wrists.

  “Or what? Whether you kill me or not, the world will find out somehow that you are a fraud. Scott Goodman couldn’t be fooled. When the test scores on the ACT started to go down after Scott was appointed to administer them and the school stopped getting all the top notch funding, Scott knew something had happened. After all, it wasn’t like the students weren’t getting the same instruction as the previous ones. When he questioned the students and the state education board in Frankfort, he put two and two together.” She grimaced when she moved.

  “And you let Callie kill them?” I looked up at Mathew after he’d finished making sure the zip ties on my wrist were tight, but not circulation cutting off tight. “What about Alena and Orlando?”

  “Orlando knew everything happening in that school and he needed money to join this karaoke contest. H was blackmailing you. Am I right?” she asked with a snide look on her face. “I told you I’m a good reporter and I didn’t get a key to the city for looking pretty.”

  “You won’t look pretty after I get done with you.” Mathew jumped down in her face, got nose to nose with her. “In fact, they won’t recognize you when they find your lifeless and cold body.”

  “You’re the one who marked out your name on Alena’s planner and when that wasn’t good enough, you tried to use her shredder to shred it.” Violet was doing a great job of investigating, but it was sad to see all her work probably wouldn’t go any further than these four walls.

  While she continued to bate Mathew, I tried to come up with a plan to get us out of here, but nothing was popping into my jumbled mind. It was like someone had taken the junk drawer in my kitchen and dumped it into my brain.

  “She confronted you about Scott and Orlando, didn’t she? She and Orlando were dating, and he told her everything. You knew you had to get rid of her and him. But guess what? Scott left a long trail for everyone to see, so if you kill me and Mae, they’ll still figure it out.”

  “We’ve got to get out of here. The cops are here. That one cop.” Callie rushed into the door with a big roll of silver duct tape.

  That one cop? Did she mean Hank? My cop?

  The roll made a screeching noise as she pulled a long strip and then ripped it off. She put it over top of Violet’s mouth first.

  “That should shut her up.” Mathew laughed and grabbed Violet by the arm, jerking her up to her feet. “You take her out the back door. My car is parked there, and we can head out to one of the canyons in the Daniel Boone Park.”

  “Finally.” Callie groaned and took pleasure in taking Violet out of the room.

  “Mae, I never meant for this to happen, but you’ve got to understand why I have to get rid of you.” Mathew must’ve been trying to make himself feel better, but it wasn’t doing me any good.

  “You don’t,” I begged. “I’ll never tell anyone. You can just move to the new school and no one will ever find out.”

  “I can’t risk that with the other parents.” He knelt down and looked me in the eyes. “I’ve already got Beth and Sam on board to switch schools, do well on their tests, and get the scholarships they deserve. Not only will I bring new funding to the new school as the new superintendent, but I will be a hero in everyone’s eyes. I’ll be bringing the school syst
em back to life.”

  “I guess I don’t understand why you killed Scott Goodman.” I really was trying to buy some time in hopes to come up with a plan or for him to find some sort of empathy. Or if Hank were to snoop around the karaoke bar, maybe he’d find me.

  “He had it out for me. He was so passionate about the stupid classroom, he didn’t care about the school’s archery and rifle team winning. He didn’t care if we didn’t get the state funding for good test scores. He’d say they needed to really learn and make a difference in the world and not get things handed to them. Then he snooped, found out that I’d lied on all my applications for the superintendent job, and threatened me. Just like you. You snooped and I’m sorry.” He wasn’t really sorry, or he’d let me go.

  “I don’t care about those kids,” I blurted. “I hated school and I was only there for the stupid key to the city. You let me go and I’ll never see you or talk about you again. Ever.”

  “Matt, come on,” Callie said through gritted teeth after she popped her head into the door. “Put the duct tape on her mouth now and get her out of here. I’m not sure how long they are going to be able to hold those cops off.”

  “Sorry, Mae.” He jerked me up by the elbow and put me on my feet. “We’ve got to get out of here.”

  “But,” I started to say, but he ripped a piece of the duct tape off the roll and smoothed it over my mouth, making me unable to yell for Hank once we were in the hallway, but he wouldn’t’ve heard me anyways.

  The music was so loud, and the walls were thumping. It was a perfect place to kill someone.

  The door to the outside was the gateway to the outside world and if I was going to escape, it had to be then. So I had two choices. I could either listen and go with them, hoping they wouldn’t kill me once they got me and Violet to the canyon, or I could try and run, risking to get shot and killed.

  Thinking the second choice was a better option, I took a deep breath as soon as we walked under the exit sign. I released that deep breath, then sprang into motion like a sprung bear trap, kicking Mathew as hard as I could in his testicles. Doubled over, he reeled away, holding his stomach.

  I took off running like an unleashed hellhound. My goal was to stay out of the morgue drawer, and this was my only option.

  “Stop her!” I heard Mathew call out to Callie. She was bent over the trunk of her car, where I bet she’d put Violet.

  I just kept running with my hands behind my back and my face up to the sun, praying they weren’t going to shoot me.

  I rounded the corner to find a caravan of police cars lined up in the front of the building. Even though they couldn’t hear me, I still tried to scream. The sound of a deep moan caught the attention of an officer.

  “Hey!” He punched the guys next to him and they came running.

  “They are around the corner. Callie and Mathew!” I tried to move past the pain of them ripping the duct tape off my mouth and the fact my shoulders felt like they were coming out of their sockets, but Violet was in danger. “They have Violet in the trunk of their car. They are going to kill her. Throw her in a canyon.”

  One of the officers took a knife from his utility belt and ran it across the zip ties like a hot knife through butter.

  About that time, squealing tires peeled around the corner from the back of the building, nearly knocking down the officers running towards them.

  What seemed like a flash, the officers were in their vehicles, sirens blaring and chasing after Callie and Mathew.

  SEVENTEEN

  “It was a bonafide showdown. The cops were chasing so close behind, I could see the flashing lights through the holes in the back of the trunk.” Violet had finally gotten her day in the spotlight.

  All the big time network morning shows had picked up the alert about the reporter who found out too much and was about to get knocked off, barely escaping with her life. I was hardly mentioned, which was fine by me. It was exactly what she wanted, and I was happy to be out of the spotlight for once.

  “Look at her.” Dottie sat on the couch of the Laundry Club with a donut from the Cookie Crumble in one hand, a hot cup of coffee in the other, and a cigarette tucked behind her ear. “Violet Rhinehammer thinks she’s some movie star.”

  “Mmmhmm. . .” Queenie’s right brow drew up. “We’ll never hear the end of this.”

  “Never hear the end of what?” Hank Sharp walked through the front door of the Laundry Club, the bell overhead dinging his arrival.

  “You’re just in time to listen to Violet Rhinehammer’s big television interview.” I couldn’t help but smile and be happy for her.

  New York City was behind her as she told her story. Her eyes were bright, and her smile sparkled. I knew exactly where she was. I’d walked by it many times when I lived in New York. It was good to see she was getting her dream come true. If only for a few minutes, anyways.

  “She’s gonna have to sign too.” Dottie had taken and ink pen from her bosom and Hank hesitated, giving it a good look. “What? It’s a pen and a place to stick it. You want the can ham camper or not?”

  “Can ham?” I asked, knowing she was referring to the nickname for the little travel trailer camper Scott Goodman had stayed in.

  “Yep. I did it.” Hank took the pen, sat down on the edge of the couch and signed the paperwork Dottie had sitting on the coffee table.

  “Did what?” I asked. I had totally missed something between him and Dottie.

  “I left my parents’ property. I listened to Granny and decided it was high time that I lived for myself, so I’m renting the camper at Happy Trials.” He smiled really big. “Isn’t that great, honey?”

  “Great,” I choked out between my closed tooth smile.

  “We’ll see each other all the time. It’ll be like we live together, but not.” He was all sorts of serious. “This way I can keep an eye on your snooping ways. Keep you out of trouble.”

  “Trouble? You told me to snoop. I almost got killed because of you.” I teased and motioned for Dottie to scoot down a little so there was enough room for me to sit down next to Hank.

  “You don’t seem too happy about me moving into the campground.” I guess he could read my face.

  It wasn’t that I wasn’t happy, but I owned the campground and if something happened between us, like a breakup or something, then it wouldn’t be good. It was a step that I wasn’t sure I was ready to take.

  “Mae?” He leaned back to take in my full view. “Are you upset?”

  “No. I think it’s great.” I put my arms around him and hugged him, resting my chin on his shoulders. I gave him one last squeeze and pulled away.

  “It is gonna be great. Chester and Fifi can play. We can have supper together at night. . .” Hank rambled on about all the good things that he saw happening in our future.

  The future.

  Something I’d never prescribed too and something that was unfamiliar to me. I guess it was time that I took a leap of faith and listened to my heart, not my head.

  “Yeah. It’s gonna be great.” I looked up at Violet Rhinehammer and suddenly wished I were back in New York City.

  RECIPES AND CLEANING HACKS FROM MAE WEST AND THE WOMEN OF

  NORMAL, KENTUCKY and HAPPY TRAILS CAMPGROUND

  RV HACK #1

  GRIPPY RUBBER MATS

  You know the grippy mat we put under area rugs so they don’t slide all over our floors, you can use them in the RV so things won’t break!

  Cut the rubber mats into small squares and put them between dishes, inside pots and pans to protect the cooking surface while in transit and in cabinets so things don’t shift or slide around.

  Place them under DVD players and electronics, in cabinets, and underneath small indoor mats and rugs. Cut them the same shape as lamp or canister bottoms so they don’t slide around on the counters. They can even be cut into a small square to use for opening new jars of pickles. They also are great for putting under pet beds so they don’t slide off the furniture.

&n
bsp; Spring Lemon Drops

  2 teaspoons lime juice

  1/3 cup milk

  1/2 cup butter, softened

  3/4 cup white sugar

  1 egg

  2 teaspoons lime zest

  1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour

  1 teaspoon baking powder

  1/4 teaspoon baking soda

  2 tablespoons lime juice

  1/4 cup white sugar

  1.Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).

  2.Combine the 2 teaspoons of lime juice with the milk, let stand for 5 minutes.

  3.In a large bowl, cream together the butter and 3/4 cup sugar until light and fluffy.

  4.Beat in the egg, then stir in the lime zest and milk mixture.

  5.Combine the flour, baking powder and baking soda, blend into the creamed mixture. 6.Drop rounded spoonfuls of dough onto ungreased cookie sheets.

  7. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes in the preheated oven, until the edges are light brown.

  8. Allow cookies to cool on baking sheets for 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

  9. To make the glaze, stir together the remaining lime juice and sugar. Brush onto cooled cookies.

  RV HACK #2

  Badge Holder Clips

  You know those clear badges you get from work, the ones that hold your work ID or the ID when you go to a conference? They have those snap clips so you can clip it on your belt or the pocket of your shirt. Well…these are awesome for holding the strings of lights we campers LOVE to hang all over our RVs and campers!

  Plus, they are easy to remove and not permanent! Go ahead! Give them a try!

  COACH’S CAMPFIRE CHILI

  Ingredients

  1 lb. pork loin

  1 lb. spicy Italian sausage

  1 onion

  3 tbsp chili powder

  1 tbsp cumin

  2 tsp dried oregano